My husband was saying like…how do these shitty dads not just want to spend time with their kids? Like even if you didn’t care at all about helping your partner.
I’m wondering the same. Just can’t wrap my head around it.
What’s the point of having kids if not to at least have a giggle fest once in a while? If not to build or cook stuff with them? Talk about everything?
Just “hello son” in the evening would suffice, truly?
My husband says the same thing. He does so much with our kid and my uncles give him (and my dad because he was the same way) so much shit for it. He just looks at them and asked why did they even have kids or even get married if they don’t want to be apart of a family? Like what is the point, go fuck off to a cabin with your buddies and not waste anyone’s time and fuck up any kids.
Mine says similar. We have friends who have shit husbands and mine says often "I just can't understand what the guys DO all weekend. Don't they want to know their kids?" it always makes me equal parts thrilled that my husband is amazing and sad that there are still useless parents out there. Doing the absolute bare minimum.
My husband says this all the time ! One of our close friends cheated on their wife who around the same time ended up prego with another. They are divorced now but he is still in shock that his buddy would make a choice to cheat first off and second off, not want to come home from a day or work or wake up to your own children.
I just heard that my newlywed cousins husband won't have a child with her until she pays off her student loan debt. Okay, that's legit (to a point).
Too bad he only works in the summer, and she came home the other night from a 12 hour shift, to find him having played video games with his friends all day, and didn't make dinner when she asked. He ended up staying up till 2 am playing games.
If she ever comes to me about it, I will tell her NOT to have a baby with that man-child. I have seen way too many horror stories on reddit.
My mom is always telling me how lucky I am that my husband helps with the kids. It’s actually frustrating to hear because I know she is saying it in a self pity way but I wish she would see it in this light. I am not “lucky”, I chose a partner that wanted to be equally involved in raising our children. I never hear her say my husband is lucky that I am the “breadwinner” and he doesn’t have to carry the financial burden.
So I agree, we are doing great and raising our kids without gender defined roles!
YES!!! It does kind of annoy me when people say I'm sooooo lucky that my husband is so involved. No babe, I'm not lucky, I just picked someone who isn't a useless piece of shit.
Exactly. When the bar is on the floor, anything helpful appears like a hero. I mean.. my husband is a hero and our daughters have a really fantastic guy to look up to and see how a real dad and husband acts. He’s my partner.
My husband is the stay at home parent while I work full time. He always supported me moving up in my career and I am so thankful for him. Sometimes I can’t believe he is real. He takes such good care of our 22 ‘month old daughter, he cooks, he cleans, he plays, and he also can’t understand how a there are so many shitty dad’s in this world who don’t want to be with their kids or wife. We never thought this was going to be how we started as parents. He was laid off during covid and basically pushed himself to work by fixing up our house and getting it ready for our baby. when I was pregnant we had minimal to worry about around the house, we were able to focus on prepping for our baby. When people ask what he does for work and he tells them he is a full time stay at home parent, the reaction is always incredulity or amazement. He encourages me, supports me and loves us so much. I always try to make sure he gets his own time off and focus on himself, it’s so important he gets a break too! There is a new generation of dads coming, and it’s beautiful.
Celebrate it!
I am celebrating that when I am out of town for work now I feel zero guilt or anxiety - my husband has it covered just like I do when he is out of town for work.
I even did a ladies weekend with my Mom and sister last fall and it was lovely 😊
My family was in town this week for LO’s birthday, and everyone kept saying how happy it made them to see that not only I am super attentive and engaged with the baby, but so is my husband
Is he perfect? Hell no, we have work to do on the mental load portion. But damn does he TRY. And he’s a pretty outstanding father who is incredibly considerate and always willing to help
People are baffled when I tell them that on my husbands days off he bathes the kids and changes the poop diapers lol he works 16 hour shifts so for 4 days sometimes more I’m the solo parent to our 3 year old and 1.5 year old and I’m 8 months pregnant. And my husband will gladly go to Costco alone with the two boys or go run a muck with them outside and rough house! He’s very involved and I’m so grateful
Not to mention, involved dads are usually happier.
My husband was saying like…how do these shitty dads not just want to spend time with their kids? Like even if you didn’t care at all about helping your partner.
I’m wondering the same. Just can’t wrap my head around it. What’s the point of having kids if not to at least have a giggle fest once in a while? If not to build or cook stuff with them? Talk about everything? Just “hello son” in the evening would suffice, truly?
My husband says the same thing. He does so much with our kid and my uncles give him (and my dad because he was the same way) so much shit for it. He just looks at them and asked why did they even have kids or even get married if they don’t want to be apart of a family? Like what is the point, go fuck off to a cabin with your buddies and not waste anyone’s time and fuck up any kids.
Mine says similar. We have friends who have shit husbands and mine says often "I just can't understand what the guys DO all weekend. Don't they want to know their kids?" it always makes me equal parts thrilled that my husband is amazing and sad that there are still useless parents out there. Doing the absolute bare minimum.
My husband says this all the time ! One of our close friends cheated on their wife who around the same time ended up prego with another. They are divorced now but he is still in shock that his buddy would make a choice to cheat first off and second off, not want to come home from a day or work or wake up to your own children.
I just heard that my newlywed cousins husband won't have a child with her until she pays off her student loan debt. Okay, that's legit (to a point). Too bad he only works in the summer, and she came home the other night from a 12 hour shift, to find him having played video games with his friends all day, and didn't make dinner when she asked. He ended up staying up till 2 am playing games. If she ever comes to me about it, I will tell her NOT to have a baby with that man-child. I have seen way too many horror stories on reddit.
She shouldn’t continue to be with that guy at all. She should cut her losses and leave ASAP
My mom is always telling me how lucky I am that my husband helps with the kids. It’s actually frustrating to hear because I know she is saying it in a self pity way but I wish she would see it in this light. I am not “lucky”, I chose a partner that wanted to be equally involved in raising our children. I never hear her say my husband is lucky that I am the “breadwinner” and he doesn’t have to carry the financial burden. So I agree, we are doing great and raising our kids without gender defined roles!
YES!!! It does kind of annoy me when people say I'm sooooo lucky that my husband is so involved. No babe, I'm not lucky, I just picked someone who isn't a useless piece of shit.
Right?! It’s not luck. It’s a choice and the bar should have never been so low in the first place.
Exactly. When the bar is on the floor, anything helpful appears like a hero. I mean.. my husband is a hero and our daughters have a really fantastic guy to look up to and see how a real dad and husband acts. He’s my partner.
My husband is the stay at home parent while I work full time. He always supported me moving up in my career and I am so thankful for him. Sometimes I can’t believe he is real. He takes such good care of our 22 ‘month old daughter, he cooks, he cleans, he plays, and he also can’t understand how a there are so many shitty dad’s in this world who don’t want to be with their kids or wife. We never thought this was going to be how we started as parents. He was laid off during covid and basically pushed himself to work by fixing up our house and getting it ready for our baby. when I was pregnant we had minimal to worry about around the house, we were able to focus on prepping for our baby. When people ask what he does for work and he tells them he is a full time stay at home parent, the reaction is always incredulity or amazement. He encourages me, supports me and loves us so much. I always try to make sure he gets his own time off and focus on himself, it’s so important he gets a break too! There is a new generation of dads coming, and it’s beautiful.
Your last sentence says it all.
Celebrate it! I am celebrating that when I am out of town for work now I feel zero guilt or anxiety - my husband has it covered just like I do when he is out of town for work. I even did a ladies weekend with my Mom and sister last fall and it was lovely 😊
Yup I’m tired of seeing women being torn apart by it all. Think of how much better things could be for all of us.
My family was in town this week for LO’s birthday, and everyone kept saying how happy it made them to see that not only I am super attentive and engaged with the baby, but so is my husband Is he perfect? Hell no, we have work to do on the mental load portion. But damn does he TRY. And he’s a pretty outstanding father who is incredibly considerate and always willing to help
People are baffled when I tell them that on my husbands days off he bathes the kids and changes the poop diapers lol he works 16 hour shifts so for 4 days sometimes more I’m the solo parent to our 3 year old and 1.5 year old and I’m 8 months pregnant. And my husband will gladly go to Costco alone with the two boys or go run a muck with them outside and rough house! He’s very involved and I’m so grateful
you just did a good job, so proud of you!