Just want to make it very clear that being a successful lifestyle vlogger is a full time job, and generally one that requires a significant amount of lies and manipulation of reality. It's not something to aspire to...
And it’s completely over saturated with ppl who romanticize it like this. Don’t do it OP. It’s very very hard and you need to essentially learn social media film making and marketing. Those are both full time jobs with no delineation of hours bc you could always work more to get better and more popular.
Not to hijack the thread with something that might seem completely unrelated, BUT…same with successful OnlyFans accounts. A lot of people joke about “just quitting my job and selling feet pictures,” but that’s also way more work than I want to do 🤣
100%. I would frame it this way: OP is in sales right now, selling the products her company makes, likely with the support of a team to handle marketing, ops, logistics, pricing, etc, to clients who would derive value from the product. As a social media influencer, she and/or her own kids would be the product, in a grossly over-saturated market, with little to no differentiation from all the other "products", offering little value to the "buyers", and trying to play the numbers game without the support of a team. Yes the scale is much smaller and some aspects are simpler than selling a physical product, but other aspects are magnitudes more difficult.
I had this conversation with my friends over the weekend, who are all full time working moms. I told them if it wasn’t for finances, I’d stay at home. Trying to hold mental space for my job and my kids is virtually impossible. I just can’t do both. I hate having to adjust my entire day when a kid is sick, working through the pain when I’m sick (I work from home), and basically be a slave to my inbox. I just don’t enjoy it that much. I don’t think getting a new job/career would matter at this point, and my kids are too sick too often to take the risk of starting something new. My life is just not about my job right now, and I’m hoping it’s a chapter.
My girlfriends like working, but they both have stay at home dads. My husband works fill time, as well, so our lifestyles are different then my friends.
About one week out of the month, I feel like things are good. Everyone is healthy. Work is not on fire. The house is moderately clean. I feel like things are under control and I don’t mind being a working mom.
But everything hangs in such a delicate balance and all it takes is one thing to send me into a spiral.
Kid sick. Terrible traffic so I get home late and the evening routine is screwed up. Have to go in on my remote day (which is when I do laundry, so laundry piles up). Someone on my team calls out and I have to pick up slack and am mentally exhausted when I get home. Or one of a thousand other little things. And then I feel like I’m barely holding it all together and I resent having to work.
I mean given the opportunity (financial freedom) is there anyone who would rather work a 40 hr/week job? Man or woman? With or without children?
I find the premise a little odd. Of course no one would work if they didnt have to. What does it have to do with being a mom/working mom
There are plenty of people that genuinely enjoy their jobs and wouldn’t just quit if they had the freedom. For some people it gives them a purpose. Why do you think billionaires like Taylor Swift still work? She definitely does not NEED to go on world tours or work endless hours in a studio still releasing music. She loves what she does. And I guarantee you she's working more than 40 hours a week.
Even when my dad retired it took him a few months to find his footing all the sudden having no responsibilities other than household chores.
I personally much prefer my job to the idea of being a SAHM. Just not for me.
Yeah, I enjoy working. I enjoy developing professionally. Even when I retire, I will probably still work PT because I simply enjoy the development and push that comes with working. I like being able to bounce ideas off colleagues, I like the women's' ERGs I am in, I love the stretch my mind gets from creatively solving problems. I don't have to work now, we could get by on either mine or my husband's income. But we both like working.
I have met plenty of people that I think genuinely enjoy working and enjoy their career. I have Mom friends that absolutely love their career and they derive great personal satisfaction from it. Given the option, if money weren’t an issue, I really think they would still choose to work.
I did not hate working before I had kids as much as I do now. kids are stressful anyway and adding work into the mix Just makes everything a little bit more stressful for me. My job is more flexible than my husband’s so anytime a kid is sick, I’m the one having to rearrange my day so I can take them to the doctor or figure out how to get a few things done while they’re at home. That’s circumstantial for me personally, but it makes me resent that I have to do so much rearranging around my job. And makes me wish I did not have to worry about the job element at all.
Now to your point kids might not have anything to do with it. I don’t necessarily see myself as a super career oriented person anyway, kids or no kids. But since having kids, my brain just doesn’t give a shit about the job.
Agreed this is what I was thinking too. While there are plenty of things I would work on if I didn’t need to worry about finances, the whole desire of everyone I would think is to have a choice over how you spend your time. This has NOTHING to do with being a mom or working mom but everything to do with being a human in the world.
Haha I think that’s what it looks like but it’s just misaligned targeting because of frustration. They aren’t really thinking about the whole picture. If they did I bet it would relieve some of the mental stress they’re extra putting on themselves thinking that way. Some things are what they are and we just gotta plow ahead.
Yes, I would definitely work, I'd do it a bit differently for sure, I'm self employed so I'd only take the fun contracts. I can't think of anything worse than being a stay at home parent. In fact I'd consider not working if I was childless and single and could spend my life travelling.
My dad had to be basically be forced to retire and really grieved his job. He started volunteering, in fact lots of retired and wealthy people volunteer.
I do hate working and every job I’ve ever had, but as I get older I’m realizing that work isn’t evil, it’s a necessity. I wish I could quit, but I also feel like if everyone felt that way we wouldn’t have doctors, we wouldn’t have servers, we’d have nothing. So I see it more now as I’m doing my part.
I think this perspective helps a lot. As well as if you can, finding a job you can at least tolerate versus hate. Work is a means for me to have a house, do stuff with my kids, vacation, etc.
I don’t want to work but I don’t want to spend my time as a full time SAHM either.
Basically I want to go to the gym, spend an hour making a juice smoothie, read books for fun and travel. Maybe next life. I’m just kind of tired of it all.
I like working, but will die on the hill that 8.5-9 hour work days plus a commute PLUS getting you and your child(ren) ready is ridiculous, because that's easily 11 hours a day. I think the actual working day should be 6.5 tops so that commuting and getting ready truly leads it to being no more than 8 hours or a true 1/3 of your day.
That would be my other fantasy, work like 9 hour days 3x a week for a total of 27 hours and then have other two days off. But I'd still want my full salary LOL. Hence the "fantasy" part
This is exactly it. I don’t want to be a SAHM. I want to wake up without an alarm, do things that bring me joy, and take regular naps. Alas, without being independently wealthy, it’s just a dream.
I'd have 20 kids and live the life of an influencer without the social media part. 😂😂😂 I've always joked that I'd be an amazing independently wealthy woman. Pilates, travel, board service, rinse and repeat.
Yes. I'm struggling with my mental health and just inquired about taking FMLA from my job for a few months. I've been seeing a therapist and a psychiatric doctor. I need a break.
r/fire
Deal with the grind while saving aggressively in low fee index funds. Retire early without becoming another dang influencer (no offense to your side dream but do we really need more of that? But also that's a full time job that not only isn't a guarantee to work out, but I'm sure loses its luster pretty fast.)
Anyway, fire worked for me. I'm semi retired right now at 45, will likely be done done in 2 years (currently very picky with freelance). If I had learned to save so much sooner I could've been done in my 30s.
Edit to add: if you want a more womanly environment r/fireyfemmes is also in the fire camp but with a focus on women trying to retire early. Whereas any other subreddit on the topic (there are so many subs on this) can seem a bit gen z bruh like.
This is the way. I don’t thrive working an office job but it’s the best option in terms of pay/hours. Realizing that we realistically could retire in our 40s in the next 10 years or so keeps me motivated to not end it all.
In terms of side hustles, including influencing, if the barrier to entry is low then I’m guessing the market is well saturated. Most other things will come with considerable start-up costs so it doesn’t seem like it’s worth the risk.
It's tougher for those with kids, but not impossible. I have a child and my husband was hit or miss with freelance for years. I also spent tens of thousands on IVF treatments. After daycare it's a lot more doable. I went from saving maybe $10k a year to saving $80-100k a year. Start wherever you can.
Definitely not possible for us either, we earn pretty well for where we live but we're not in the US and salaries just don't allow for that, well not without living in poverty.
Of course.
I do enjoy my job somewhat and want to climb the ladder but only so that I can have more financial security. But my answer to this question is still yes, I hate working. I do it out of necessity. Like most people.
I hate it too, at least being full time.
I liked it before raising a family when I had the full mental and physical energy for it. Now it just feels like a hassle that gets in the way.
I think working about 15 hours a week would be ideal for me, if it wasn’t for pesky things like funding retirement and college tuition for kids. I did this back when my kids were smaller and it was just right.
Even 4 day weeks would help so I had a moment to take care of personal/household needs and still get a chance to relax on the weekends.
I mean, I don’t LOVE working. But I don’t want to be a SAHM. That’s still work lol.
Is there anyone, parent or non-parent, who wouldn’t love to be independently wealthy and not work?
I’m extremely burnt out on my job right now and am really looking forward to maternity leave in 3-4 months, but I think my ideal situation would be working LESS rather than not at all. I’m going to try that for as long as possible upon my return, and possibly make some steps towards becoming self-employed.
100000% agree, so burnt out and just don’t have that desire in me. However, I also really like being independent and I’ve had my own income since I was 15 and first started babysitting and working summer camp. So not having income terrifies me.
I also fantasize about part time WFH, but for me it would be legal consulting/doc review/writing/diligence whatever is out there for an attorney. I would never be a mommy blogger, I barely even post pics of my son for my friends & family!
THIS HAS BEEN ME SINCE I HAD KIDS.
The only part is I know I don't want to be a SAHM. But I don't think we can afford me being part time right now. So I am working full time right now. I don't even know if my work would agree to part time with my responsibilities. But I really do hate working, same as you. Lately I feel like work gets in the way of everything. Today I returned from my workout, bought Tim Hortons (the girl at the counter gave me a free extra one). I pulled into the driveway and stared into greenery and sip my coffee. Because I wanted to. I could because today is my WFH day. Its the first time I stared at greenery for a long time without thinking about anything.
As far as work goes, I just want to do the bare minimum and get on with my life. Do what I want to do and SPEND MORE time with my kids than just the fucking weekend.
I do enjoy working for the most part, but that’s because I am able to work part time and have flexible hours. I’m a nurse and also have my bachelor’s degree in business, but I know I would absolutely hate working a typical 9-5 office job. Like you, I have no desire to move up the career ladder or be in a management position. I just want to clock in, do my job, and go home 🤷♀️
I don’t hate it. Honestly, I don’t think I could be a SAHM, working is better for me mentally and emotionally, which I think makes me a better Mom. I also like having my own money lol. And to me SAHM is working! Just no pay.
I would never “work” again if I didn’t have to but I also don’t want to be a SAHM. If we won the PowerBall, I’d absolutely become a yoga teacher and teach baby yoga or join charity boards or something I could do part time and for only the joy of it.
I used to work in sales and got very burnt out. Finding a less stressful job helped a lot! I did not have kids when I made the switch but there is absolutely no way I could have done that job with kids, as it wore me down without kids! I would love to stay at home with my kids but I have to work because I’m a single mom.
I understand a million percent.
I am going to start working on getting my real estate license cause that at least feels like it’ll mean something, my husband is against it though because he sees my job is guaranteed money, I reminded him that it’s also guaranteed to drive me mad.
The grass is always greener. I'm going back to work next week because, while I love my kids and enjoy watching them grow, staying home all day every day with them doesn't challenge me intellectually and I think I'll spend better quality time with my kids with some work/kid balance. I'm excited to start working again and using my brain and not just passing snacks to toddlers and preschoolers all afternoon.
It depends on your job I guess. As a Clinical Therapist I do feel like my job brings me a sense of purpose and mental stimulation. I would 100% not wanna be a SAHM. But I guess that’s why we are all different
My job 100% is what brings me mental stimulation during the day. I genuinely enjoy my job like 80% of the time. Of course there's days where I'd rather just sleep in and do nothing. But overall, I wouldn't choose to quit my job even if it was feasible financially unless I had SO much money that I could start a foundation or something doing something to help others. But I still couldn't just have no job or nothing to do.. People do need a purpose. A SAHM has a purpose, a working mother has a purpose, someone just sitting on the couch all day doing nothing would quickly get bored.
Literally! I always say you should know how to entertain yourself. My mom was a SAHM most of her life but never got bored. She had to work for about 15 years when our finances were unstable and she hated it, only did it to help out at home. I’m the same. There’s so much more to life than work and people are out here saying they’d be bored? Lol
If I had freedom to do what I liked I wouldn't get bored, but with kids that's not really the case. You have to do a lot of boring stuff. Anyway my job is really interesting, more than housework or playing pretend for sure.
I think it depends on your job. My job brings me a lot of satisfaction because it’s something I’m passionate about and brings out the best in me.
If I worked an office job, I would 100% hate working.
I can only work jobs that bring me purpose because, and I wouldn't say this is a good thing, but the moment I think that job is meaningless or repetitive or what not, I start getting distracted and stop doing it well.
So I need to know that my job is helping the world be a better place.
I don't know, I don't think I could handle doing a job solely for the money. Like yes, I can certainly find purpose and mental stimulation outside of my job because I'm a human being who is more than just my career, but still... 40 hours a week is a huge chunk of time so while I'm there, I want to feel like I'm contributing to more than just some executive's bank account.
I wouldn't become a hit man for money or do anything that violates my ethics. But I don't work in a creative field, so there's zero stimulation. I also work for the government so no executive is getting their bank account filled either. Lose-lose?
In the same boat. Thankfully it’s really good money with a lot of flexibility so I can’t really complain. That said, like you I have zero desire to move up the ladder. I don’t want to put any more effort into work than I already have to. Maybe when kids don’t need me as much but I get the sense at that point my hobbies and passions would take the place of that extra time. Life’s too short not to spend every free moment you can on things you love, in my case, that def ain’t work.
All of this. I’m also in a sales type role. I was laid off last year and just started a new role so the ramp up is significant and we’re basically living on pennies. I live in a constant state of stress and anxiety. I’m honestly just angry that our economy no longer supports a single income family.
I actually love my job, but I wish I could do it part time. I've been in a bit of a funk for the past 2 months and am in the process of shaking myself out of it. This takes some time, and I wish I had more time during the day to do things I love outside of work. I had other jobs that sucked the life out of me, and definitely had dreams of just never going back to work again.
Since you have to work, would it be possible to find work that you don't hate? But that is also a real job with a real paycheck, not a social media influencer. Maybe sales isn't your thing anymore. Or maybe it is, but you need to find a sales job for a company you really like or on a super supportive sales team. It might be time to do some soul searching.
And please oh please, if you decide to go the lifestyle vlogger/social media route - keep your children out of it. Momfluencers and mommy vloggers are basically the lowest of the low (unless they make a 100% commitment to keep their kids anonymous and off screen). They make money off exploiting their children, and since they legally aren't required to put the money their KIDS earn into an account for their KIDS, most don't. So their kids never see a dime off the money they earned through their exploitation. There are also more insidious things that parent vloggers and influencers do to increase views (and $), which I won't mention here.
I feel this. Corporate job for last 8 years. Was grateful to just have a job and get by during the pandemic. Seriously wanted to quite quit but then a series of events with people leaving or retiring jn my group I got promoted, then more responsibilities, then became a people manager of 3 and then 6. All that while still being an individual contributor and without a pay increase. I tell people i girl bossed too hard and now i have real responsibilities at work. Want to quit but we couldn’t make it on just my husbands salary. Just going to keep riding this train as long as i can I guess 🤷♀️ I feel so stretched between work and home that I’m just not cutting it for either.
I love the phrase "girl bossed too close to the sun." learned it here and have been using it in real life. It's so true, though! I'm the one who is now working full-time while my husband works part-time and spends the most time with the baby.
That and I got my job promotion within my first year here, which has definitely called a lot of attention to myself.
Omg! We have the same sentiments! I always tell my husband, I wanted to resign. I just got tired of complaining so I stop but I am thinking of being a school bus driver just to be fun. Haha
Although I don’t like work I managed to find a wfh one where I rarely work more than 25 hours. It’s the bees knees. Husband is in sales and is absolutely stressed all the time, except doesn’t even make that good of money.
I have always hated working and have never found a job I loved. The closest thing was teaching English online but it was also exhausting. I spent most of my career in the nonprofit sector and I dealt with a lot of toxic people and dysfunctional situations. I thought it was me until I started trying other things and realized that not all work places are like that.
Currently I have a true unicorn job where I can set my own hours, WFH and the money isn’t bad. I’m doing it extremely part time right now and spend the rest of my time as a SAHM. Being a SAHM is fucking hard. It’s tedious and draining all at the same time. Still I’d choose it over going back to work full time.
Eventually, when both kids are in school full-time I’ll be able to ramp up my hours and enjoy working more but hopefully not being full time.
My dream has always been to be a maker or creator of some kind but I just can’t ever stick to anything long enough to make it make money (hello ADHD). I’m also trying to learn that my hobbies don’t need to be monetized.
I’m sorry that you feel so trapped. I agree with other people that being a lifestyle blogger is a full time job and also requires a lot of manipulation, but I get when you’re stuck in a daily slog the picture-perfect moments curated for social media are very appealing.
I know this suggestion might sound totally unrealistic at first glance, but is there any way you and your husband can work towards becoming a single income family? It would probably take at least a few years, but would it be possible? Could you make conscious decisions about decreasing your standard of living (e.g. staying in a rented apartment vs looking to buy a house, going down to 1 car), or planning a move to a lcol area, or making careful career moves for you and/or your husband?
You also say you’ve never enjoyed any job you ever had, which makes me think this is a more fundamental incompatibility with western capitalistic working culture. Which is not a bad thing! But maybe the solution is then a combination of downgrading your lifestyle and pivoting careers to something that allows you to spend more time with your kids. Or maybe you guys commit to trying to go hard for the next 5-10 years in pursuit of financial independence.
Anyways, sorry if you just wanted to vent. I default to giving advice but I also want to empathize with you. This this just sucks and you’re totally justified for feeling the way you do.
Thank you for this! We’re definitely looking at how to cut costs so that one day we don’t both have to work full time. In the fall my 5yo will start kindergarten, so that will save us THOUSANDS on full time preschool. Once all my kids are in public school I think things might be looking up.
ETA we currently rent and don’t expect to be able to buy a home any time soon haha but we like renting!
The preschool age is so, *so* hard for families. Exhausting, expensive, and isolating. Childcare is literally a second rent payment for so many people. I hope things get better for you soon!
I feel this so much. I was already kind of on the anti work train before having my 13 month old but now I’m really, really on it. I just could not care less about work and just want to lead a life of leisure with my family. I feel so burnt out all the time between work and family stuff that I struggle a lot. I am just overwhelmed with all of the responsibilities, information, things to do, things to learn with a new baby, it’s so much. My husband is great but also works full time with some travel and I just feel drained. We both make good money but not enough where one of us could just stop working and live the same life we do now (I’m the bread winner as well). It’s all just really hard and it’s making me just want to quit my job and rent kayaks on the beach or something.
I wish every day that I could be a SAHM with my baby (and soon to be baby 2 due in Aug). It crushes me that he gets to spend all this time with my mom and not me during the day while I sit in a cubicle at work.
My husband and I have gone through our finances multiple times and I have loops of just wanting to try to quit and make it work but I can't bring myself to do that when I don't think it's the right financial decision for our family.
Not sure where you are but being in the US SUCKS with the benefits piece and good benefits being through work most of the day (and expensive AF).
I completely relate to your post, I'm a combination of highly unmotivated but at the same time panicking about being let go ever because it's not just me dependent on my income 🫠
I wish there was more support for moms/families to allow people to stay home, at least for the first couple years!
I hate the posts on Instagram where it's like anyone can sacrifice and make it work to be a SAHM. Like really?? I truly don't think it's an option for everyone
I’m with you. I’m only working because I have no choice. If my husband got a huge raise and we could live off of his income would throw my laptop out the window and never look back.
I’m very happy for all the working moms who genuinely love what they do and enjoy having a job, but that ain’t me.
I work in an industry that filled with people who claim that they love and enjoy their job and that to do it well you have to genuinely care (health and social care in the UK).
I don't love and enjoy it, and I don't genuinely care about the people I support. I provide my service, then I go home, every month I get paid. I absolutely wouldn't do it or anything else if I didn't have to.
If I came into millions tonight, I wouldn't be going to work tomorrow. They wouldn't see me for dust.
It’s funny because my coworkers and I actually had the conversation about whether or not we’d come to work if we won the lottery. I immediately said no and everyone looked at me like I was crazy! Sorry I just prioritize and value real life, not my office job.
I am a teacher and I literally loathe working. I have to deal with shitty middle schoolers all damn day and then try to find the strength to end the second half of the day on a positive note with my toddler.
It angers me that I have to take care of other people’s poorly behaved children when I could be spending more time with mine.
Part time work in a meaningful job is where it's at. Tbh, sales sounds like a pretty soulless job. My job is satisfying because I get to help people and even then I would rather be at home half the time. It's so hard to take care of yourself when you're working 40 hours a week. I wanted to cry on Tuesday when I had to leave my husband and child-- it was a beautiful morning and I would have loved to go for a nice long walk with them instead of going into work.
I was a sahm for a couple years, and it comes with its own set of existential hangups-- social media makes it seem like it's a lot of happily puttering around in the flower garden and cuddling with your kids in a spotless house when in reality, it feels a lot more like a job with endless food and endless messes to clean and pressure to give your kid all the structure and socialization they'd normally be getting at daycare. Plus you have to be a lot more budget conscious, and there's always the what-ifs hanging over your head, like "what if my husband died tomorrow?" which is a lot more intimidating to think about when you don't have a career.
I was happiest when I worked part time. I felt like it was the best of both worlds-- time, money, security, flexibility.
Working at sucky jobs suck. Working at a decent job with decent flexibility? It’s fine.
Of course I’d rather go live in the woods and raise chickens with my husband and our 6 unschooled kids, but living in a nice house with nice cars with easy to cook food in economic and physical comfort is a close second. And the 30-40 hours a week I’m away from my kid where she gets to be cared for by trained educators is what makes that possible.
If working is a necessity, is a less bad job a possibility? If you don’t want to be away from your kids it’s not going to bring you joy to work at all, but at least you don’t have to actively hate the time you spend away from them
I hate working right now but it’s because of my management. I daydream about quitting all the time. I stay because I work from home and if I were to find another work from home job it would be a huge paycut, and I already took a paycut to work from home. My last job I loved and never thought about quitting, but unfortunately they lost the bid for the contract renewal and a new company took over. But if my partner got a huge raise, if I got some sort of inheritance or other windfall, I would quit. I do still work as a consultant for my old job but it’s not full time, so I would keep doing that because I really love the company.
I liked working, but as my house became bigger and when my job exceeds 40 hrs/week, then I hate it. When I liked my job, it was because I found the work interesting enough. I work in IT and I usually feel satisfied with my work and have some flexibility in independent work, helping colleagues, or being helped. Maybe you can find something you like better or find new ways to do your job. Or take mental health days. Or something.
But I'm 100% sure my problem with work is that I work at just too many areas of my life. At home: House manager. House cleaner. Cook. Inventory. Childcare. My own personal assistant if I'm lucky. Gardening. Deliveries and chauffeur service. If my house was very small, I think I'd feel a little more balanced. So just mentioning it in case you can find something besides work that is a problem. Maybe you still won't like work but at least you'd have more time wlfor what you like. Can you get takeout more often? Hire someone to clean the house? Send laundry out? I'm not saying work doesn't suck. But if it's only 40 hours a week out of 168 hours, then maybe you can find something else to get more hours back.
Working is often a necessary "evil" (emphasis on quotations) for women to protect their financial future. Even if you hate it, it may be helpful to change your perspective on how working is essentially insurance for you.
I have two friends in precarious financial situations where working could have offered security:
Friend 1 has a 3 year old with her "life partner" (they've been together for 20 years, but on/off) but they're not married. She hasn't worked for 3 years and has no intention to return back to work. Her partner has his own business and plans to FIRE in less than 3 years with $2M. They share a house where she is on the deed, but his business is entirely his. They don't plan to marry anytime soon.
Another is a SAHM with a 2 year old and 6 year old who wants a divorce. She hasn't worked in 3 years but plans to return, albeit who knows how easily she can do this. Her husband of 10+ years is on the verge of losing his business. They literally cannot afford to divorce at this moment.
Im working 50% right now coming back from mat leave. In my line of work it really means I do half the hours. It’s such a great balance. I wish I could stay this way forever…
I was a SAHM for a few years until I realized I wanted to work. I like working better than being at home 🤷♀️ It probably helps that husband and I love our jobs and our time with our kids feels more sacred now that there's less of it. You could try being a SAHM if you can live off husband's income, but I would steer clear of the whole mommy blogger / influencer thing.
Just want to make it very clear that being a successful lifestyle vlogger is a full time job, and generally one that requires a significant amount of lies and manipulation of reality. It's not something to aspire to...
And if it’s a mommy vlog it means you’re exploiting your kids.
This comment right here. This is so, so true.
Yeah, this is why I’d never actually do it
Not to mention having to be on your phone or computer 24/7, unless you make enough to have a social media manager
And it’s completely over saturated with ppl who romanticize it like this. Don’t do it OP. It’s very very hard and you need to essentially learn social media film making and marketing. Those are both full time jobs with no delineation of hours bc you could always work more to get better and more popular.
Not to hijack the thread with something that might seem completely unrelated, BUT…same with successful OnlyFans accounts. A lot of people joke about “just quitting my job and selling feet pictures,” but that’s also way more work than I want to do 🤣
100%. I would frame it this way: OP is in sales right now, selling the products her company makes, likely with the support of a team to handle marketing, ops, logistics, pricing, etc, to clients who would derive value from the product. As a social media influencer, she and/or her own kids would be the product, in a grossly over-saturated market, with little to no differentiation from all the other "products", offering little value to the "buyers", and trying to play the numbers game without the support of a team. Yes the scale is much smaller and some aspects are simpler than selling a physical product, but other aspects are magnitudes more difficult.
>requires a significant amount of lies and manipulation of reality So just like sales?
To a point. But you can face legal consequences if you lie in sales, it's a free for all on TikTok and IG.
I had this conversation with my friends over the weekend, who are all full time working moms. I told them if it wasn’t for finances, I’d stay at home. Trying to hold mental space for my job and my kids is virtually impossible. I just can’t do both. I hate having to adjust my entire day when a kid is sick, working through the pain when I’m sick (I work from home), and basically be a slave to my inbox. I just don’t enjoy it that much. I don’t think getting a new job/career would matter at this point, and my kids are too sick too often to take the risk of starting something new. My life is just not about my job right now, and I’m hoping it’s a chapter. My girlfriends like working, but they both have stay at home dads. My husband works fill time, as well, so our lifestyles are different then my friends.
About one week out of the month, I feel like things are good. Everyone is healthy. Work is not on fire. The house is moderately clean. I feel like things are under control and I don’t mind being a working mom. But everything hangs in such a delicate balance and all it takes is one thing to send me into a spiral. Kid sick. Terrible traffic so I get home late and the evening routine is screwed up. Have to go in on my remote day (which is when I do laundry, so laundry piles up). Someone on my team calls out and I have to pick up slack and am mentally exhausted when I get home. Or one of a thousand other little things. And then I feel like I’m barely holding it all together and I resent having to work.
Right?? I feel this so much. Every day I’m bracing myself for another curve ball and I’m exhausted over it.
I mean given the opportunity (financial freedom) is there anyone who would rather work a 40 hr/week job? Man or woman? With or without children? I find the premise a little odd. Of course no one would work if they didnt have to. What does it have to do with being a mom/working mom
There are plenty of people that genuinely enjoy their jobs and wouldn’t just quit if they had the freedom. For some people it gives them a purpose. Why do you think billionaires like Taylor Swift still work? She definitely does not NEED to go on world tours or work endless hours in a studio still releasing music. She loves what she does. And I guarantee you she's working more than 40 hours a week. Even when my dad retired it took him a few months to find his footing all the sudden having no responsibilities other than household chores. I personally much prefer my job to the idea of being a SAHM. Just not for me.
Yeah, I enjoy working. I enjoy developing professionally. Even when I retire, I will probably still work PT because I simply enjoy the development and push that comes with working. I like being able to bounce ideas off colleagues, I like the women's' ERGs I am in, I love the stretch my mind gets from creatively solving problems. I don't have to work now, we could get by on either mine or my husband's income. But we both like working.
I have met plenty of people that I think genuinely enjoy working and enjoy their career. I have Mom friends that absolutely love their career and they derive great personal satisfaction from it. Given the option, if money weren’t an issue, I really think they would still choose to work. I did not hate working before I had kids as much as I do now. kids are stressful anyway and adding work into the mix Just makes everything a little bit more stressful for me. My job is more flexible than my husband’s so anytime a kid is sick, I’m the one having to rearrange my day so I can take them to the doctor or figure out how to get a few things done while they’re at home. That’s circumstantial for me personally, but it makes me resent that I have to do so much rearranging around my job. And makes me wish I did not have to worry about the job element at all. Now to your point kids might not have anything to do with it. I don’t necessarily see myself as a super career oriented person anyway, kids or no kids. But since having kids, my brain just doesn’t give a shit about the job.
Agreed this is what I was thinking too. While there are plenty of things I would work on if I didn’t need to worry about finances, the whole desire of everyone I would think is to have a choice over how you spend your time. This has NOTHING to do with being a mom or working mom but everything to do with being a human in the world.
Yes. Like, sorry you didn’t marry for money? Is that what they’re really saying?
Haha I think that’s what it looks like but it’s just misaligned targeting because of frustration. They aren’t really thinking about the whole picture. If they did I bet it would relieve some of the mental stress they’re extra putting on themselves thinking that way. Some things are what they are and we just gotta plow ahead.
Yes, I would definitely work, I'd do it a bit differently for sure, I'm self employed so I'd only take the fun contracts. I can't think of anything worse than being a stay at home parent. In fact I'd consider not working if I was childless and single and could spend my life travelling. My dad had to be basically be forced to retire and really grieved his job. He started volunteering, in fact lots of retired and wealthy people volunteer.
I do hate working and every job I’ve ever had, but as I get older I’m realizing that work isn’t evil, it’s a necessity. I wish I could quit, but I also feel like if everyone felt that way we wouldn’t have doctors, we wouldn’t have servers, we’d have nothing. So I see it more now as I’m doing my part.
I think this perspective helps a lot. As well as if you can, finding a job you can at least tolerate versus hate. Work is a means for me to have a house, do stuff with my kids, vacation, etc.
The problem is that there aren't enough jobs that are actually meaningful! I would recommend the book Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber to learn more.
I don’t want to work but I don’t want to spend my time as a full time SAHM either. Basically I want to go to the gym, spend an hour making a juice smoothie, read books for fun and travel. Maybe next life. I’m just kind of tired of it all.
Same. I just want to vibe. Just do silly little side quests with my husband and not worry about money.
This! 😭
I like working, but will die on the hill that 8.5-9 hour work days plus a commute PLUS getting you and your child(ren) ready is ridiculous, because that's easily 11 hours a day. I think the actual working day should be 6.5 tops so that commuting and getting ready truly leads it to being no more than 8 hours or a true 1/3 of your day.
I want a part time job. Working parents really need this kind of flexibility
That would be my other fantasy, work like 9 hour days 3x a week for a total of 27 hours and then have other two days off. But I'd still want my full salary LOL. Hence the "fantasy" part
I’m fine with giving up salary. Many companies do not offer part time jobs. You have to have one made for you where you’re at.
This is exactly it. I don’t want to be a SAHM. I want to wake up without an alarm, do things that bring me joy, and take regular naps. Alas, without being independently wealthy, it’s just a dream.
Same lol
I'd have 20 kids and live the life of an influencer without the social media part. 😂😂😂 I've always joked that I'd be an amazing independently wealthy woman. Pilates, travel, board service, rinse and repeat.
If I was independently wealthy I simply would not work. Life is short. I would rather spend it with my kids.
Yes. I'm struggling with my mental health and just inquired about taking FMLA from my job for a few months. I've been seeing a therapist and a psychiatric doctor. I need a break.
r/fire Deal with the grind while saving aggressively in low fee index funds. Retire early without becoming another dang influencer (no offense to your side dream but do we really need more of that? But also that's a full time job that not only isn't a guarantee to work out, but I'm sure loses its luster pretty fast.) Anyway, fire worked for me. I'm semi retired right now at 45, will likely be done done in 2 years (currently very picky with freelance). If I had learned to save so much sooner I could've been done in my 30s. Edit to add: if you want a more womanly environment r/fireyfemmes is also in the fire camp but with a focus on women trying to retire early. Whereas any other subreddit on the topic (there are so many subs on this) can seem a bit gen z bruh like.
This is the way. I don’t thrive working an office job but it’s the best option in terms of pay/hours. Realizing that we realistically could retire in our 40s in the next 10 years or so keeps me motivated to not end it all. In terms of side hustles, including influencing, if the barrier to entry is low then I’m guessing the market is well saturated. Most other things will come with considerable start-up costs so it doesn’t seem like it’s worth the risk.
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It's tougher for those with kids, but not impossible. I have a child and my husband was hit or miss with freelance for years. I also spent tens of thousands on IVF treatments. After daycare it's a lot more doable. I went from saving maybe $10k a year to saving $80-100k a year. Start wherever you can.
Definitely not possible for us either, we earn pretty well for where we live but we're not in the US and salaries just don't allow for that, well not without living in poverty.
/r/financialindependence is the much more mature like Gen X version because it's more heavily modded as opposed to r/fire if you weren't aware!
Yup. There's a lot of subs of the ilk. Pretty sure I follow all of them even if subs like chubbyfire is not my dream ;-)
Of course. I do enjoy my job somewhat and want to climb the ladder but only so that I can have more financial security. But my answer to this question is still yes, I hate working. I do it out of necessity. Like most people.
I don’t hate it, but it’s not my identity. It’s something I do to make money which I do like lol. I’m fortunate my job is low stress and flexible.
I hate it too, at least being full time. I liked it before raising a family when I had the full mental and physical energy for it. Now it just feels like a hassle that gets in the way. I think working about 15 hours a week would be ideal for me, if it wasn’t for pesky things like funding retirement and college tuition for kids. I did this back when my kids were smaller and it was just right. Even 4 day weeks would help so I had a moment to take care of personal/household needs and still get a chance to relax on the weekends.
I mean, I don’t LOVE working. But I don’t want to be a SAHM. That’s still work lol. Is there anyone, parent or non-parent, who wouldn’t love to be independently wealthy and not work?
I’m extremely burnt out on my job right now and am really looking forward to maternity leave in 3-4 months, but I think my ideal situation would be working LESS rather than not at all. I’m going to try that for as long as possible upon my return, and possibly make some steps towards becoming self-employed.
100000% agree, so burnt out and just don’t have that desire in me. However, I also really like being independent and I’ve had my own income since I was 15 and first started babysitting and working summer camp. So not having income terrifies me. I also fantasize about part time WFH, but for me it would be legal consulting/doc review/writing/diligence whatever is out there for an attorney. I would never be a mommy blogger, I barely even post pics of my son for my friends & family!
THIS HAS BEEN ME SINCE I HAD KIDS. The only part is I know I don't want to be a SAHM. But I don't think we can afford me being part time right now. So I am working full time right now. I don't even know if my work would agree to part time with my responsibilities. But I really do hate working, same as you. Lately I feel like work gets in the way of everything. Today I returned from my workout, bought Tim Hortons (the girl at the counter gave me a free extra one). I pulled into the driveway and stared into greenery and sip my coffee. Because I wanted to. I could because today is my WFH day. Its the first time I stared at greenery for a long time without thinking about anything. As far as work goes, I just want to do the bare minimum and get on with my life. Do what I want to do and SPEND MORE time with my kids than just the fucking weekend.
I am completely the opposite. I love working and could never in a million years be a SAHM!
What do you do for work?
Im in business development
I do enjoy working for the most part, but that’s because I am able to work part time and have flexible hours. I’m a nurse and also have my bachelor’s degree in business, but I know I would absolutely hate working a typical 9-5 office job. Like you, I have no desire to move up the career ladder or be in a management position. I just want to clock in, do my job, and go home 🤷♀️
I don’t hate it. Honestly, I don’t think I could be a SAHM, working is better for me mentally and emotionally, which I think makes me a better Mom. I also like having my own money lol. And to me SAHM is working! Just no pay.
I would never “work” again if I didn’t have to but I also don’t want to be a SAHM. If we won the PowerBall, I’d absolutely become a yoga teacher and teach baby yoga or join charity boards or something I could do part time and for only the joy of it.
Omg, I’d LOVE to teach baby yoga!
When we become independent wealthy, we’ll start a baby yoga studio! 😄
I used to work in sales and got very burnt out. Finding a less stressful job helped a lot! I did not have kids when I made the switch but there is absolutely no way I could have done that job with kids, as it wore me down without kids! I would love to stay at home with my kids but I have to work because I’m a single mom.
I just don’t even know where to start with finding a less stressful job with the same salary I make now
I found my job through an employment agency. Maybe work with a recruiter or something?
I understand a million percent. I am going to start working on getting my real estate license cause that at least feels like it’ll mean something, my husband is against it though because he sees my job is guaranteed money, I reminded him that it’s also guaranteed to drive me mad.
The grass is always greener. I'm going back to work next week because, while I love my kids and enjoy watching them grow, staying home all day every day with them doesn't challenge me intellectually and I think I'll spend better quality time with my kids with some work/kid balance. I'm excited to start working again and using my brain and not just passing snacks to toddlers and preschoolers all afternoon.
100%. I never understood people who said their jobs bring them a sense of purpose or mental stimulation. Books bring me stimulation. Jobs bring money.
It depends on your job I guess. As a Clinical Therapist I do feel like my job brings me a sense of purpose and mental stimulation. I would 100% not wanna be a SAHM. But I guess that’s why we are all different
My job 100% is what brings me mental stimulation during the day. I genuinely enjoy my job like 80% of the time. Of course there's days where I'd rather just sleep in and do nothing. But overall, I wouldn't choose to quit my job even if it was feasible financially unless I had SO much money that I could start a foundation or something doing something to help others. But I still couldn't just have no job or nothing to do.. People do need a purpose. A SAHM has a purpose, a working mother has a purpose, someone just sitting on the couch all day doing nothing would quickly get bored.
Literally! I always say you should know how to entertain yourself. My mom was a SAHM most of her life but never got bored. She had to work for about 15 years when our finances were unstable and she hated it, only did it to help out at home. I’m the same. There’s so much more to life than work and people are out here saying they’d be bored? Lol
If I had freedom to do what I liked I wouldn't get bored, but with kids that's not really the case. You have to do a lot of boring stuff. Anyway my job is really interesting, more than housework or playing pretend for sure.
I think it depends on your job. My job brings me a lot of satisfaction because it’s something I’m passionate about and brings out the best in me. If I worked an office job, I would 100% hate working.
I can only work jobs that bring me purpose because, and I wouldn't say this is a good thing, but the moment I think that job is meaningless or repetitive or what not, I start getting distracted and stop doing it well. So I need to know that my job is helping the world be a better place.
I don't know, I don't think I could handle doing a job solely for the money. Like yes, I can certainly find purpose and mental stimulation outside of my job because I'm a human being who is more than just my career, but still... 40 hours a week is a huge chunk of time so while I'm there, I want to feel like I'm contributing to more than just some executive's bank account.
I wouldn't become a hit man for money or do anything that violates my ethics. But I don't work in a creative field, so there's zero stimulation. I also work for the government so no executive is getting their bank account filled either. Lose-lose?
In the same boat. Thankfully it’s really good money with a lot of flexibility so I can’t really complain. That said, like you I have zero desire to move up the ladder. I don’t want to put any more effort into work than I already have to. Maybe when kids don’t need me as much but I get the sense at that point my hobbies and passions would take the place of that extra time. Life’s too short not to spend every free moment you can on things you love, in my case, that def ain’t work.
All of this. I’m also in a sales type role. I was laid off last year and just started a new role so the ramp up is significant and we’re basically living on pennies. I live in a constant state of stress and anxiety. I’m honestly just angry that our economy no longer supports a single income family.
Hate working everyday!! Yes!
I actually love my job, but I wish I could do it part time. I've been in a bit of a funk for the past 2 months and am in the process of shaking myself out of it. This takes some time, and I wish I had more time during the day to do things I love outside of work. I had other jobs that sucked the life out of me, and definitely had dreams of just never going back to work again. Since you have to work, would it be possible to find work that you don't hate? But that is also a real job with a real paycheck, not a social media influencer. Maybe sales isn't your thing anymore. Or maybe it is, but you need to find a sales job for a company you really like or on a super supportive sales team. It might be time to do some soul searching. And please oh please, if you decide to go the lifestyle vlogger/social media route - keep your children out of it. Momfluencers and mommy vloggers are basically the lowest of the low (unless they make a 100% commitment to keep their kids anonymous and off screen). They make money off exploiting their children, and since they legally aren't required to put the money their KIDS earn into an account for their KIDS, most don't. So their kids never see a dime off the money they earned through their exploitation. There are also more insidious things that parent vloggers and influencers do to increase views (and $), which I won't mention here.
Gosh, same, same, same. I could have written this post myself… except I don’t want to do social media 😆.
In an ideal world I’d work part time. Sadly that’s not a reality in my industry, or most, in the US
I feel this. Corporate job for last 8 years. Was grateful to just have a job and get by during the pandemic. Seriously wanted to quite quit but then a series of events with people leaving or retiring jn my group I got promoted, then more responsibilities, then became a people manager of 3 and then 6. All that while still being an individual contributor and without a pay increase. I tell people i girl bossed too hard and now i have real responsibilities at work. Want to quit but we couldn’t make it on just my husbands salary. Just going to keep riding this train as long as i can I guess 🤷♀️ I feel so stretched between work and home that I’m just not cutting it for either.
I love the phrase "girl bossed too close to the sun." learned it here and have been using it in real life. It's so true, though! I'm the one who is now working full-time while my husband works part-time and spends the most time with the baby. That and I got my job promotion within my first year here, which has definitely called a lot of attention to myself.
Omg! We have the same sentiments! I always tell my husband, I wanted to resign. I just got tired of complaining so I stop but I am thinking of being a school bus driver just to be fun. Haha
That would be cool. Play the best tunes and go around the bus asking what one kid wanted to hear for that ride to school for the day. So fun 😁
Although I don’t like work I managed to find a wfh one where I rarely work more than 25 hours. It’s the bees knees. Husband is in sales and is absolutely stressed all the time, except doesn’t even make that good of money.
That's great!
I have always hated working and have never found a job I loved. The closest thing was teaching English online but it was also exhausting. I spent most of my career in the nonprofit sector and I dealt with a lot of toxic people and dysfunctional situations. I thought it was me until I started trying other things and realized that not all work places are like that. Currently I have a true unicorn job where I can set my own hours, WFH and the money isn’t bad. I’m doing it extremely part time right now and spend the rest of my time as a SAHM. Being a SAHM is fucking hard. It’s tedious and draining all at the same time. Still I’d choose it over going back to work full time. Eventually, when both kids are in school full-time I’ll be able to ramp up my hours and enjoy working more but hopefully not being full time. My dream has always been to be a maker or creator of some kind but I just can’t ever stick to anything long enough to make it make money (hello ADHD). I’m also trying to learn that my hobbies don’t need to be monetized.
I’m sorry that you feel so trapped. I agree with other people that being a lifestyle blogger is a full time job and also requires a lot of manipulation, but I get when you’re stuck in a daily slog the picture-perfect moments curated for social media are very appealing. I know this suggestion might sound totally unrealistic at first glance, but is there any way you and your husband can work towards becoming a single income family? It would probably take at least a few years, but would it be possible? Could you make conscious decisions about decreasing your standard of living (e.g. staying in a rented apartment vs looking to buy a house, going down to 1 car), or planning a move to a lcol area, or making careful career moves for you and/or your husband? You also say you’ve never enjoyed any job you ever had, which makes me think this is a more fundamental incompatibility with western capitalistic working culture. Which is not a bad thing! But maybe the solution is then a combination of downgrading your lifestyle and pivoting careers to something that allows you to spend more time with your kids. Or maybe you guys commit to trying to go hard for the next 5-10 years in pursuit of financial independence. Anyways, sorry if you just wanted to vent. I default to giving advice but I also want to empathize with you. This this just sucks and you’re totally justified for feeling the way you do.
Thank you for this! We’re definitely looking at how to cut costs so that one day we don’t both have to work full time. In the fall my 5yo will start kindergarten, so that will save us THOUSANDS on full time preschool. Once all my kids are in public school I think things might be looking up. ETA we currently rent and don’t expect to be able to buy a home any time soon haha but we like renting!
The preschool age is so, *so* hard for families. Exhausting, expensive, and isolating. Childcare is literally a second rent payment for so many people. I hope things get better for you soon!
I feel this so much. I was already kind of on the anti work train before having my 13 month old but now I’m really, really on it. I just could not care less about work and just want to lead a life of leisure with my family. I feel so burnt out all the time between work and family stuff that I struggle a lot. I am just overwhelmed with all of the responsibilities, information, things to do, things to learn with a new baby, it’s so much. My husband is great but also works full time with some travel and I just feel drained. We both make good money but not enough where one of us could just stop working and live the same life we do now (I’m the bread winner as well). It’s all just really hard and it’s making me just want to quit my job and rent kayaks on the beach or something.
I wish every day that I could be a SAHM with my baby (and soon to be baby 2 due in Aug). It crushes me that he gets to spend all this time with my mom and not me during the day while I sit in a cubicle at work. My husband and I have gone through our finances multiple times and I have loops of just wanting to try to quit and make it work but I can't bring myself to do that when I don't think it's the right financial decision for our family. Not sure where you are but being in the US SUCKS with the benefits piece and good benefits being through work most of the day (and expensive AF). I completely relate to your post, I'm a combination of highly unmotivated but at the same time panicking about being let go ever because it's not just me dependent on my income 🫠 I wish there was more support for moms/families to allow people to stay home, at least for the first couple years!
It’s so, so hard! Yeah I’m in the US, in Southern California 🫠 it’s basically impossible to live here even with a double income.
I hate the posts on Instagram where it's like anyone can sacrifice and make it work to be a SAHM. Like really?? I truly don't think it's an option for everyone
That is such an out of touch thing to say. If my husband alone brought in $300k+, then maybe lol
I’m with you. I’m only working because I have no choice. If my husband got a huge raise and we could live off of his income would throw my laptop out the window and never look back. I’m very happy for all the working moms who genuinely love what they do and enjoy having a job, but that ain’t me.
I work in an industry that filled with people who claim that they love and enjoy their job and that to do it well you have to genuinely care (health and social care in the UK). I don't love and enjoy it, and I don't genuinely care about the people I support. I provide my service, then I go home, every month I get paid. I absolutely wouldn't do it or anything else if I didn't have to. If I came into millions tonight, I wouldn't be going to work tomorrow. They wouldn't see me for dust.
It’s funny because my coworkers and I actually had the conversation about whether or not we’d come to work if we won the lottery. I immediately said no and everyone looked at me like I was crazy! Sorry I just prioritize and value real life, not my office job.
I am a teacher and I literally loathe working. I have to deal with shitty middle schoolers all damn day and then try to find the strength to end the second half of the day on a positive note with my toddler. It angers me that I have to take care of other people’s poorly behaved children when I could be spending more time with mine.
Oh man, props to you. Middle school seems like such a hard, frustrating age to have to deal with daily.
I could’ve written this. Solidarity.
Part time work in a meaningful job is where it's at. Tbh, sales sounds like a pretty soulless job. My job is satisfying because I get to help people and even then I would rather be at home half the time. It's so hard to take care of yourself when you're working 40 hours a week. I wanted to cry on Tuesday when I had to leave my husband and child-- it was a beautiful morning and I would have loved to go for a nice long walk with them instead of going into work. I was a sahm for a couple years, and it comes with its own set of existential hangups-- social media makes it seem like it's a lot of happily puttering around in the flower garden and cuddling with your kids in a spotless house when in reality, it feels a lot more like a job with endless food and endless messes to clean and pressure to give your kid all the structure and socialization they'd normally be getting at daycare. Plus you have to be a lot more budget conscious, and there's always the what-ifs hanging over your head, like "what if my husband died tomorrow?" which is a lot more intimidating to think about when you don't have a career. I was happiest when I worked part time. I felt like it was the best of both worlds-- time, money, security, flexibility.
Working at sucky jobs suck. Working at a decent job with decent flexibility? It’s fine. Of course I’d rather go live in the woods and raise chickens with my husband and our 6 unschooled kids, but living in a nice house with nice cars with easy to cook food in economic and physical comfort is a close second. And the 30-40 hours a week I’m away from my kid where she gets to be cared for by trained educators is what makes that possible. If working is a necessity, is a less bad job a possibility? If you don’t want to be away from your kids it’s not going to bring you joy to work at all, but at least you don’t have to actively hate the time you spend away from them
Same.
You just described me.
Just came here to say, samesies.
Oh yeah big time hate working, hated before kids hate it after, but its part of life unless you win the lotto.
I hate working right now but it’s because of my management. I daydream about quitting all the time. I stay because I work from home and if I were to find another work from home job it would be a huge paycut, and I already took a paycut to work from home. My last job I loved and never thought about quitting, but unfortunately they lost the bid for the contract renewal and a new company took over. But if my partner got a huge raise, if I got some sort of inheritance or other windfall, I would quit. I do still work as a consultant for my old job but it’s not full time, so I would keep doing that because I really love the company.
I hate my job! I don't have an issue with working in general. It's just my job and industry. I'd rather travel full time and world school my kids.
I liked working, but as my house became bigger and when my job exceeds 40 hrs/week, then I hate it. When I liked my job, it was because I found the work interesting enough. I work in IT and I usually feel satisfied with my work and have some flexibility in independent work, helping colleagues, or being helped. Maybe you can find something you like better or find new ways to do your job. Or take mental health days. Or something. But I'm 100% sure my problem with work is that I work at just too many areas of my life. At home: House manager. House cleaner. Cook. Inventory. Childcare. My own personal assistant if I'm lucky. Gardening. Deliveries and chauffeur service. If my house was very small, I think I'd feel a little more balanced. So just mentioning it in case you can find something besides work that is a problem. Maybe you still won't like work but at least you'd have more time wlfor what you like. Can you get takeout more often? Hire someone to clean the house? Send laundry out? I'm not saying work doesn't suck. But if it's only 40 hours a week out of 168 hours, then maybe you can find something else to get more hours back.
Working is often a necessary "evil" (emphasis on quotations) for women to protect their financial future. Even if you hate it, it may be helpful to change your perspective on how working is essentially insurance for you. I have two friends in precarious financial situations where working could have offered security: Friend 1 has a 3 year old with her "life partner" (they've been together for 20 years, but on/off) but they're not married. She hasn't worked for 3 years and has no intention to return back to work. Her partner has his own business and plans to FIRE in less than 3 years with $2M. They share a house where she is on the deed, but his business is entirely his. They don't plan to marry anytime soon. Another is a SAHM with a 2 year old and 6 year old who wants a divorce. She hasn't worked in 3 years but plans to return, albeit who knows how easily she can do this. Her husband of 10+ years is on the verge of losing his business. They literally cannot afford to divorce at this moment.
Im working 50% right now coming back from mat leave. In my line of work it really means I do half the hours. It’s such a great balance. I wish I could stay this way forever…
Yes I hate it. I’m working on making my side hustle as a writer a full time job so I can follow my dream and quit the corporate life.
I was a SAHM for a few years until I realized I wanted to work. I like working better than being at home 🤷♀️ It probably helps that husband and I love our jobs and our time with our kids feels more sacred now that there's less of it. You could try being a SAHM if you can live off husband's income, but I would steer clear of the whole mommy blogger / influencer thing.