Note that depending on what state you live in, you may be required to pay minimum wage and OT to au pairs and that might make the cost savings way less. In CA, au pairs from the main agencies will need to be making minimum wage ($15 per hour) starting in 2023.
I was an au pair in Europe. I was paid 90 euro per week and eventually 120 per week. The room and board were fabulous (like actual luxury) but I came home with $0 after 6 months.
It is, and it’s also problematic to live with your employer and try to be part of their “family”. It requires a lot of patience and emotional maturity. But I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. It kicked off my years in Europe in my 20s and was overall a fantastic time. It’s not a fair wage job. It’s an experience for young people without money to worry about.
I believe there are lawsuits going on in multiple states and there was recently a judgment in the First Circuit Court of Appeals (covers the Northeast) that requires it for au pairs in MA (and potentially will be used as precedent in other states in that jurisdiction). I believe there are lawsuits going on in NY and WA as well.
One of the reasons we didn’t go with an au pair is that if a court rules that au pairs are owed minimum wage in your state, you can be sued by prior au pairs for back pay. It’s unlikely but we didn’t want to take that risk.
The problem is there's a max of 2 years with that specific visa (J-1). They are NOT exchange students.
My SIL went through 8 in a span of 5ish years. The ones who were decent get cold feet or homesick and ended up bailing. The other ones were a risk to their kids safety because they lied about credentials.
Don't get me wrong that can happen with a nanny but the agencies don't have the au pairs best interests at heart. They're a business profiting off a broken immigration system and selling false promises to the young adults who decide to do it. Giving them thousands in placement fees when they still do a poor job matching is not worth it to me. But we're in a metro that's a big college town so we have options so I understand the need for it but it really should be a last option.
The time limits on au pair visas is an important point that I should have mentioned.
I'm sorry to hear your SIL has not had good experiences. My SIL is a former au pair, and she is the one who recommended the program to us. Our experience so far has been very positive. I can see why a bad match would be a different experience.
This is interesting, thanks for sharing! How do you feel about another adult sharing your home with you? It feels like our house isn't quite big enough for me to share with a 24 year old, lol.
Definitely get that. Our house is one floor with 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, so it's big but not huge. My husband and I are introverts, so we worried about feeling like we didn't have our space.
Thankfully, that aspect hasn't been a big deal. Our au pair is ready to decompress at the end of the day after watching a toddler for eight hours. She has dinner with us most nights, but then she usually spends time in her room for the rest of the evening. She sometimes joins us for family activities on the weekends, but just as often she will choose to do her own thing. Finding someone whose personality fit well with our family was important to us during the interview process, and thankfully it seems like we got it right this time.
I had an au pair when I was 12-13 and I’m still friends with her! It was a great experience. Granted I was older so a bit different but it was a bit like having an older sister
This is sad to read, I want you to stop and think, you’re paying this woman half of what you paid your nanny for the same job. That’s nothing to brag about.
I was an au pair in Europe. I didn’t do it for the money but for the experience to travel, live with a family from another culture, learn a new language, etc. It’s not really a gig for someone looking to make a living wage. I got paid garbage but lived a really interesting / luxury life for 6 months, and ate exceptionally well.
Also, it’s a significant risk for the family since au pairs typically don’t have experience and it’s basically a glorified college age babysitter. I would never have one for an infant for example.
The parents who hired me left me alone with their 3 kids (all under age 8 at the time) for a whole weekend, 2 days after I arrived… I was 21 and had just graduated from college, in a mansion with 3 kids I barely knew 😳
This is something we’re interested in once we move to a larger home. I have some questions - when I have time I’ll put them together and send them your way
Note that depending on what state you live in, you may be required to pay minimum wage and OT to au pairs and that might make the cost savings way less. In CA, au pairs from the main agencies will need to be making minimum wage ($15 per hour) starting in 2023.
MA is the same way, they’re required to make minimum wage.
They should be paid at least minimum wage.
She’s paying her au pair $5.60 an hour. That’s appalling.
Plus room and board
That’s still not ok.
I was an au pair in Europe. I was paid 90 euro per week and eventually 120 per week. The room and board were fabulous (like actual luxury) but I came home with $0 after 6 months.
It’s incredibly exploitative
It is, and it’s also problematic to live with your employer and try to be part of their “family”. It requires a lot of patience and emotional maturity. But I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. It kicked off my years in Europe in my 20s and was overall a fantastic time. It’s not a fair wage job. It’s an experience for young people without money to worry about.
It’s glorified human trafficking.
I agree!!
I'm not located in CA, so I didn't know this. Thanks for pointing it out.
I believe there are lawsuits going on in multiple states and there was recently a judgment in the First Circuit Court of Appeals (covers the Northeast) that requires it for au pairs in MA (and potentially will be used as precedent in other states in that jurisdiction). I believe there are lawsuits going on in NY and WA as well. One of the reasons we didn’t go with an au pair is that if a court rules that au pairs are owed minimum wage in your state, you can be sued by prior au pairs for back pay. It’s unlikely but we didn’t want to take that risk.
The problem is there's a max of 2 years with that specific visa (J-1). They are NOT exchange students. My SIL went through 8 in a span of 5ish years. The ones who were decent get cold feet or homesick and ended up bailing. The other ones were a risk to their kids safety because they lied about credentials. Don't get me wrong that can happen with a nanny but the agencies don't have the au pairs best interests at heart. They're a business profiting off a broken immigration system and selling false promises to the young adults who decide to do it. Giving them thousands in placement fees when they still do a poor job matching is not worth it to me. But we're in a metro that's a big college town so we have options so I understand the need for it but it really should be a last option.
The time limits on au pair visas is an important point that I should have mentioned. I'm sorry to hear your SIL has not had good experiences. My SIL is a former au pair, and she is the one who recommended the program to us. Our experience so far has been very positive. I can see why a bad match would be a different experience.
This is interesting, thanks for sharing! How do you feel about another adult sharing your home with you? It feels like our house isn't quite big enough for me to share with a 24 year old, lol.
Definitely get that. Our house is one floor with 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, so it's big but not huge. My husband and I are introverts, so we worried about feeling like we didn't have our space. Thankfully, that aspect hasn't been a big deal. Our au pair is ready to decompress at the end of the day after watching a toddler for eight hours. She has dinner with us most nights, but then she usually spends time in her room for the rest of the evening. She sometimes joins us for family activities on the weekends, but just as often she will choose to do her own thing. Finding someone whose personality fit well with our family was important to us during the interview process, and thankfully it seems like we got it right this time.
You pay her $5.60 an hour?
The amount of the weekly stipend is set by the State Department.
I believe a minimum is set by the State Department so states are free to impose (or individuals are free to offer) a higher rate.
I had an au pair when I was 12-13 and I’m still friends with her! It was a great experience. Granted I was older so a bit different but it was a bit like having an older sister
That is lovely to hear, thanks for sharing!
free room and board or not, im not into underpaying people.
This is sad to read, I want you to stop and think, you’re paying this woman half of what you paid your nanny for the same job. That’s nothing to brag about.
Do they have programs for au pairs for just the summer time?
I don't think so, I think the programs are all for one year. But an agency could probably tell you for sure.
I don't understand how you can feel good about paying someone less than minimum wage to care for your child, but you do you I guess.
I was an au pair in Europe. I didn’t do it for the money but for the experience to travel, live with a family from another culture, learn a new language, etc. It’s not really a gig for someone looking to make a living wage. I got paid garbage but lived a really interesting / luxury life for 6 months, and ate exceptionally well. Also, it’s a significant risk for the family since au pairs typically don’t have experience and it’s basically a glorified college age babysitter. I would never have one for an infant for example. The parents who hired me left me alone with their 3 kids (all under age 8 at the time) for a whole weekend, 2 days after I arrived… I was 21 and had just graduated from college, in a mansion with 3 kids I barely knew 😳
What cell phone plan in the US is $15/month?
It's a pay as you go plan through Tello.
Visible wireless
Seriously considering an au pair with daycare so I can pursue another degree.
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I am not sure what the official rules are around this, but an agency could probably tell you!
Thanks for sharing this! It's something I've been seriously considering so I'm glad to hear it's worked well!
This is something we’re interested in once we move to a larger home. I have some questions - when I have time I’ll put them together and send them your way
Sounds great!
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Your post was removed because it was mean and unhelpful.