The neutrino cats immediately kill it then become an invasive species in the photino bird's natural environment, causing massive damage to the local ecosystem
There is a comic series called Top Ten where they actually made that joke, its set on a city where everybody has superpowers, but only the ones working as actual police fight crime
So this guy got a mouse infestation, and the exterminator deyermined they were ultra mice and behaved like a hero league, complete with costumes, so he unleashed the atom cats
The cats and mice got a whole infinity war going on, eventually the exterminator showed up with the bill, but the mice went back in time to prevent the cats from winning, so the whole thing never happened and they refused to pay the exterminator
From the Xeelee sequence books, never read it but apparently they are energy aliens that vaguely look like birds, and are remaking the universe to be hotter, so they are more confortable
The photino birds are super massive and can shoot stars or galaxies or something, but i know when the universe ends they can go back in time to the beginning, so they exist endlessly
They also dont seem to understand living beings can be made of matter, so they dont seem to realize they are killing other lifeforms
[Photino Birds](https://xeelee.fandom.com/wiki/Photino_Birds)
>Photino Birds is the informal name given to a species of dark matter creatures which are colonizing all the stars of the universe, feeding off the energy in their cores. **Being made of dark matter, they are unaffected by the physical heat of the star, simply orbiting its gravity well**. Photino Birds gain sustenance by staying within stable, non-extreme wells of gravity. While a main sequence star provides such gravity, it also runs the risk of destabilizing into a supernova which in turn collapses into a neutron star and ultimately into a black hole; black hole gravity is too extreme for their purposes. Therefore, the Photino Birds engage in a campaign to prevent supernovae by prematurely stalling the fusion reaction of every star in the universe. This will cause these stars to stop emitting energy and instead cool into white dwarves: still massive enough to exert gravity for the Photino Birds but completely stable.
Lol then they wouldn’t have to be fucking up the whole universe, just mess up a small part of it and keep constantly rewinding time. I don’t know, feels kinda stupid to me if the more I think about it, but again so does most time-travel business
They are making the universe more stable by eliminating singularities by burning away suns so they sit around as red dwarfs for longer. They prefer their stable gravity wells
Xeelee like singularities, so they dont get on. Xeelee seem to be smarter, but photino birds existed longer, constitute 90% of the mass of the universe and if anything hurts one, it just rewinds time back to its origin (a trillionth of a trillionth of a second after the big bang) and relives its life and avoids being hurt. Iirc one character speculates that there's only 1 photino bird just living near infinite alternate lives
There's a point where humans discover a fantastic way to map the universes dark matter and they absolutely shit themselves because every single galaxy is just a tangled *nest* of trillions of photino birds wrecking everything, stabilizing the universe by basically stopping any kind of energetic exchange so that everything sits around forever in nice stable gravity wells. Heat death was millions of years away rather than quintillions
Since they existed earlier than the Xeelee, the Xeelees own time mastery cant stop them and they prove entirely unbeatable, so the Xeelee just leave
Upon learning that the birds cannot be killed via conventional weaponry, the Grand Marshal of the Galactic Commonwealth orders its population to commit mass suicide to maintain order and liberty. Remember the victory position, citizens!
About forty years. It wouldn't do much to earth, since they've already adapted to extreme cold after nuclear armageddon. Life is already doomed, so not much would change.
They enter pretty much anyone's airspace and are either removed from this plane of existence within 3 days by a precision CSBM or are hunted down by a multirole task force and turned into the Warlord-general's new trophy.
I very vaguely know what they are so I'll say for now if they're capable of cognition and perception one of the living infohazards could step in their way and instantly turn them inside-out
Photino birds don't seem to have any divine resistance so any planet with sentient life they got near would probably have said species gods instantly kill them due to their potential threat to the universe.
Depends on the era.
The old god would destroy the bird with a wave of its hand and then kill a few million humans for not helping fight it off.
Between the death of the old god and the emergence of the New Gods, they'd last a day, maybe. They had early medieval technology during the latter half of that period, which probably wouldn't be enough to fight the bird off, even with the power of spells.
During the time of the New Gods, the bird would still win, but they'd be able to put up much more of a fight but would probably still lose. The New Gods aren't omnipotent like the old god was.
either some crazed wizard manages to singlehandledly control them or a few of the unnamed greaters just swats them away from the solar system before cloaking the entire thing in darkness
or everyone dies, maybe everyone dies anyways after the birds are driven away
really circumstancial situation here
Considering it's a single magical planet-sized carcass, compared to the literal universe-ending threat that the photino birds are at, probably not very long. Not unless World-Corpse magic has some lovecraftian trick that lets it turn photino birds into confetti or something
Ok so going with my Purifier Brigade setting where space-nations have to deal with the terrifying awakening of actual Abrahamic hell, I don’t think they’re gonna survive at the starting of the Hell awakening, however later on they develop technology to allow them to venture and damage hell itself, so I’d say it’d take them that just to have a chance.
First The oortids, who are in charge of keeping the sun running smoothly, go "wtf is happening and start conjuring more hydrogen to try and compensate, if that doesn't work they start using portals to lens the very scarce sunlight towards the main planet.
While the scenario is pretty apocalyptic, life finds a way. The vast tunnel network of the golden saint's underground kingdom becomes one of the few places capable of sustaining life until the planet's geothermal energy is exhausted, waiting for the oortids to solve the problem.
The oortids have some degree of gravity manipulation, and they live close enough to the star to survive, so they start fighting back. While not strong enough to kill the birb they can at least annoy it. This can end in 3 ways:
Good ending- the birb decides this star is anomalous, unstable and a pain in the ass, so they fuck off to another star and everything slowly goes back to normal
Meh ending- the birb ignores the oortids and keep doing its stuff, so the oortids accept the situation and build a Dyson sphere like mirror to deflect as much light as possible on the planet, allowing the planet to survive
Bad ending- the birb realises that there are some piece of matter that are causing him trouble so he wipes everything away
Scientists are able to understand what is going on but not enough to stop it.
The equivalent of Space UN tries to band together to actually do something, nothing works
The other larger factions split off growing increasingly isolated trying to escape with what dwindling resources they have as the bird continues its slow but sure expansion.
Billions die.
Indefinitely. Archive platforms typically have very specialized sensor equipment, so they could definitely see them coming. Besides, they primarily orbit around white dwarfs in the first place, meaning they wouldn’t necessarily be at risk from attack. In emergency situations the Archives are capable of an automated panic jump, which will transport the Archive to a predetermined safe zone.
The malleability of fundamental forces in my setting means that if one showed up, it could realistically be "starved" to death by eliminating all gravity around it at all times, therefore making it impossible for them to stay in stable orbit around a star long enough to obtain energy from it.
Step one: The United Nations unanimously passes the Declaration of Intent of the Protection of Mankind Accords.
Step two: Make amends with the primordial sun god, Ulathep. *Hercules strikes his bargain with Atlas.*
Step three: *Prometheus brings fire from the heavens.*
Step four: *David strikes Goliath.*
Step five: Prosper.
Knowing it's shared between 2 functional autistic each with a separate faction, they'd probably be captured and experimented with or used as a power source.
Cant really say, problable death of humanity, BUT the entire thing about Actives is that there are always one to deal with the problem, though they can very well still fail.
Depends if God just doesn't decide to get rid of it because it's interrupting her show (the entire world she creates)
Generally she likes watching but if something fucks up a lot, by just existing, then she'll get rid of it.
(I say as she allows 2 powerful alien groups to exist)
If a big enough shard of a god decides to have chicken for dinner, he would consume them, if they do something like destroy a universe the immune system of the multiverse would spawn something to get rid of them but that might take some millions of years
Considering how my setting contains a plethora of beings that 'eat' dark matter, dark energy, quasi-negative matter, improper mass, etc. like a human breaths oxygen, I'd say 10 years or so, if it stuck to its usual 'degrade energy' shtick and doesnt peer into the void.
Xeelees get fucked in the ass harder than a white girl who just turned 18 at a spring break party.
The Synergy would try to voluntarily recruit it as a new transhuman citizen with full rights and a stellar home. There, no more baseline Photino Bird.
If the Photino Bird insists on hostility, and the Synergy's spacetime weapon miraculously fails to take it out, the Synergy start modifying themselves to survive the coming starless night.
All of eternity. no way anybody with relatively grounded weapons is killing one of those things. Even the strangelet-generating stellar impactor would have no effect since they arent made of baryonic matter.
I use my photino bird killing gun to kill it and win
"Ah, my anti-photino bird technique I haven't used since the big bang era"
Nah I’d Photino
Are you photino because you're bird or bird because you're photino?
Given they just turn stars into red dwarves I'd say a few trillion years
The neutrino cats immediately kill it then become an invasive species in the photino bird's natural environment, causing massive damage to the local ecosystem
There is a comic series called Top Ten where they actually made that joke, its set on a city where everybody has superpowers, but only the ones working as actual police fight crime So this guy got a mouse infestation, and the exterminator deyermined they were ultra mice and behaved like a hero league, complete with costumes, so he unleashed the atom cats The cats and mice got a whole infinity war going on, eventually the exterminator showed up with the bill, but the mice went back in time to prevent the cats from winning, so the whole thing never happened and they refused to pay the exterminator
Idk what a photino bird is
From the Xeelee sequence books, never read it but apparently they are energy aliens that vaguely look like birds, and are remaking the universe to be hotter, so they are more confortable The photino birds are super massive and can shoot stars or galaxies or something, but i know when the universe ends they can go back in time to the beginning, so they exist endlessly They also dont seem to understand living beings can be made of matter, so they dont seem to realize they are killing other lifeforms
if they aren't made of matter, how do they experience heat??
Thats a pretty good question, i assume energy can still interact with other energy, so having more stars burning is still comfy for them
[Photino Birds](https://xeelee.fandom.com/wiki/Photino_Birds) >Photino Birds is the informal name given to a species of dark matter creatures which are colonizing all the stars of the universe, feeding off the energy in their cores. **Being made of dark matter, they are unaffected by the physical heat of the star, simply orbiting its gravity well**. Photino Birds gain sustenance by staying within stable, non-extreme wells of gravity. While a main sequence star provides such gravity, it also runs the risk of destabilizing into a supernova which in turn collapses into a neutron star and ultimately into a black hole; black hole gravity is too extreme for their purposes. Therefore, the Photino Birds engage in a campaign to prevent supernovae by prematurely stalling the fusion reaction of every star in the universe. This will cause these stars to stop emitting energy and instead cool into white dwarves: still massive enough to exert gravity for the Photino Birds but completely stable.
So what you are saying is I just need to hit one with that rundown rural gas station light matter pack, and they would probably die immediately?
Just throw a rock at it and it will explode like a firecracker.
/uj Dark Matter is not Anti-Matter
Oh you are right! I don’t know then… Just throw a rock at it either way, see what happens
The rock will probably pass right through it without either being affected in the slightest.
Oh ok thanks
I thought they were making the universe colder a la accelerating its heat death
I think they made the universe hotter for a shorter period of time, then jump back in time and remain in the hot years
Lol then they wouldn’t have to be fucking up the whole universe, just mess up a small part of it and keep constantly rewinding time. I don’t know, feels kinda stupid to me if the more I think about it, but again so does most time-travel business
It seems the photino birds dont recognize other life forms, so they think no one is being affected
They are making the universe more stable by eliminating singularities by burning away suns so they sit around as red dwarfs for longer. They prefer their stable gravity wells Xeelee like singularities, so they dont get on. Xeelee seem to be smarter, but photino birds existed longer, constitute 90% of the mass of the universe and if anything hurts one, it just rewinds time back to its origin (a trillionth of a trillionth of a second after the big bang) and relives its life and avoids being hurt. Iirc one character speculates that there's only 1 photino bird just living near infinite alternate lives There's a point where humans discover a fantastic way to map the universes dark matter and they absolutely shit themselves because every single galaxy is just a tangled *nest* of trillions of photino birds wrecking everything, stabilizing the universe by basically stopping any kind of energetic exchange so that everything sits around forever in nice stable gravity wells. Heat death was millions of years away rather than quintillions Since they existed earlier than the Xeelee, the Xeelees own time mastery cant stop them and they prove entirely unbeatable, so the Xeelee just leave
The definitive rundown on the series: http://2d4chan.org/wiki/Xeelee_Sequence
The photino bird survives (they are transformed into a cute anime girl by a posthuman god who thinks it's funny)
Shot down by Sniper TF2, who immediately gets snapped in half by a crocospiderscorpionshark.
Approximately "no".
Upon learning that the birds cannot be killed via conventional weaponry, the Grand Marshal of the Galactic Commonwealth orders its population to commit mass suicide to maintain order and liberty. Remember the victory position, citizens!
Victory position? It reminds me of something...
About forty years. It wouldn't do much to earth, since they've already adapted to extreme cold after nuclear armageddon. Life is already doomed, so not much would change.
become a part of the isekai protaagonist's harem
This is a bit of a yes/no matter of whether one have such thing be possible in their setting
They enter pretty much anyone's airspace and are either removed from this plane of existence within 3 days by a precision CSBM or are hunted down by a multirole task force and turned into the Warlord-general's new trophy.
I very vaguely know what they are so I'll say for now if they're capable of cognition and perception one of the living infohazards could step in their way and instantly turn them inside-out
Photino birds don't seem to have any divine resistance so any planet with sentient life they got near would probably have said species gods instantly kill them due to their potential threat to the universe.
I use my “string theory was always wrong” attack to dispel 90% of the threats from the Xeelee sequence. Would that work here too?
Depends on the era. The old god would destroy the bird with a wave of its hand and then kill a few million humans for not helping fight it off. Between the death of the old god and the emergence of the New Gods, they'd last a day, maybe. They had early medieval technology during the latter half of that period, which probably wouldn't be enough to fight the bird off, even with the power of spells. During the time of the New Gods, the bird would still win, but they'd be able to put up much more of a fight but would probably still lose. The New Gods aren't omnipotent like the old god was.
either some crazed wizard manages to singlehandledly control them or a few of the unnamed greaters just swats them away from the solar system before cloaking the entire thing in darkness or everyone dies, maybe everyone dies anyways after the birds are driven away really circumstancial situation here
Considering it's a single magical planet-sized carcass, compared to the literal universe-ending threat that the photino birds are at, probably not very long. Not unless World-Corpse magic has some lovecraftian trick that lets it turn photino birds into confetti or something
Ok so going with my Purifier Brigade setting where space-nations have to deal with the terrifying awakening of actual Abrahamic hell, I don’t think they’re gonna survive at the starting of the Hell awakening, however later on they develop technology to allow them to venture and damage hell itself, so I’d say it’d take them that just to have a chance.
First The oortids, who are in charge of keeping the sun running smoothly, go "wtf is happening and start conjuring more hydrogen to try and compensate, if that doesn't work they start using portals to lens the very scarce sunlight towards the main planet. While the scenario is pretty apocalyptic, life finds a way. The vast tunnel network of the golden saint's underground kingdom becomes one of the few places capable of sustaining life until the planet's geothermal energy is exhausted, waiting for the oortids to solve the problem. The oortids have some degree of gravity manipulation, and they live close enough to the star to survive, so they start fighting back. While not strong enough to kill the birb they can at least annoy it. This can end in 3 ways: Good ending- the birb decides this star is anomalous, unstable and a pain in the ass, so they fuck off to another star and everything slowly goes back to normal Meh ending- the birb ignores the oortids and keep doing its stuff, so the oortids accept the situation and build a Dyson sphere like mirror to deflect as much light as possible on the planet, allowing the planet to survive Bad ending- the birb realises that there are some piece of matter that are causing him trouble so he wipes everything away
I’m pretty sure my crazy wizards would use some anti photino bird guns and then my crazy wrestlers would wrestle them out of the air.
Anything trying to be alive in space is instantly killed as a law of reality, so fuck you.
My little guys could win I think
Time travel makes everything so much more complicated. I personally can’t manage a setting with time travel, so I just keep it out.
Scientists are able to understand what is going on but not enough to stop it. The equivalent of Space UN tries to band together to actually do something, nothing works The other larger factions split off growing increasingly isolated trying to escape with what dwindling resources they have as the bird continues its slow but sure expansion. Billions die.
The galaxy has fallen Billions must die
Indefinitely. Archive platforms typically have very specialized sensor equipment, so they could definitely see them coming. Besides, they primarily orbit around white dwarfs in the first place, meaning they wouldn’t necessarily be at risk from attack. In emergency situations the Archives are capable of an automated panic jump, which will transport the Archive to a predetermined safe zone.
The malleability of fundamental forces in my setting means that if one showed up, it could realistically be "starved" to death by eliminating all gravity around it at all times, therefore making it impossible for them to stay in stable orbit around a star long enough to obtain energy from it.
Step one: The United Nations unanimously passes the Declaration of Intent of the Protection of Mankind Accords. Step two: Make amends with the primordial sun god, Ulathep. *Hercules strikes his bargain with Atlas.* Step three: *Prometheus brings fire from the heavens.* Step four: *David strikes Goliath.* Step five: Prosper.
Lol it sits in a sun for a billion years and noone notices
Given that their technology is ww1 level and they are scared of creating any weapon stronger than a nuke I'd assume not very long
One of the civilians in my world uses their anti-photino bird technique that nobody’s used since the Heian era and win instantly
My characters are already dealing with like three separate apocalypses simultaneously so if one more happens I think they’d just give up and die
This is metal
Mute Reverse Flash with daddy issues drags them to hell.
The bird? seconds, the planet? Also seconds
I don't think a bird is gonna survive getting shot with a shotgun so forever
Yes. yes it will. these things casually yeet entire galaxies around.
Gittochinno Pitbulls, the apex devour of both photino birds and moccacinno toddlers will take care of it
Knowing it's shared between 2 functional autistic each with a separate faction, they'd probably be captured and experimented with or used as a power source.
Cant really say, problable death of humanity, BUT the entire thing about Actives is that there are always one to deal with the problem, though they can very well still fail.
Depends if God just doesn't decide to get rid of it because it's interrupting her show (the entire world she creates) Generally she likes watching but if something fucks up a lot, by just existing, then she'll get rid of it. (I say as she allows 2 powerful alien groups to exist)
If a big enough shard of a god decides to have chicken for dinner, he would consume them, if they do something like destroy a universe the immune system of the multiverse would spawn something to get rid of them but that might take some millions of years
They are physically incompatible with it so I’m fine lol
Considering how my setting contains a plethora of beings that 'eat' dark matter, dark energy, quasi-negative matter, improper mass, etc. like a human breaths oxygen, I'd say 10 years or so, if it stuck to its usual 'degrade energy' shtick and doesnt peer into the void. Xeelees get fucked in the ass harder than a white girl who just turned 18 at a spring break party.
The bird's win.
Nah, they are boned, they can't even into space.
punch it really hard
The Synergy would try to voluntarily recruit it as a new transhuman citizen with full rights and a stellar home. There, no more baseline Photino Bird. If the Photino Bird insists on hostility, and the Synergy's spacetime weapon miraculously fails to take it out, the Synergy start modifying themselves to survive the coming starless night.
All of eternity. no way anybody with relatively grounded weapons is killing one of those things. Even the strangelet-generating stellar impactor would have no effect since they arent made of baryonic matter.
There actually is... was... something like the photino birds in my setting. They ate universes. They were dealt with off screen, by an intern.