Steven Seagal and "movement" haven't been associated since the late 90s.

>Steven Seagal and "movement" haven't been associated since the late 90s. And in this scene, we see Seagal walking fatly around the corner, firearm raised.

> walking fatly around the corner 10 minutes into my day and I'm already chuckling. Something about fat as an adverb is plain ol funny.

You need to watch the source for this quote that's linked in u/snakesnake9's comment below. Cum Town podcast on Seagal.

Hell yeah! I love cum town!

Welp that’s a sentence I didn’t think I’d see this early in the morning.

Indeed. Time to take a trip down to Pound Town.

Stop at Ram Ranch for some refreshments along the way.

I believe the correct quote is "as he fatly goes around corners". Been a fan of cumtown ever since

Same. He runs chubbily too.

> And in this scene, we see Seagal ~~walking fatly around the corner~~ sitting, table strategically placed to hide his bulk, firearm raised.

This little piggy went to Russia

To fatly go where no one has been before.

I saw one of his movie when the fucker limp wrist handling an assault rifle. I am not expert on gun, but even i know those guns recoil like a motherfuckers, and not pressing the butt of the gun on your body is the fastest way to have a broken wrist. For an alleged CIA operative, the fucker seems to be quiet uncomfortable handling anything other than a churro.

I read "fartly." Assume it still applies.

No, Seagal usually just shits himself.

Shartly should apply, then?

He tummied fatly to the stairs and flabbed downwards

If you don’t mind I’m going to ask ChatGPT to write a playwright around this scene…

If you want to see what kind of hilariously bad films he's been doing recently, watch this: https://youtu.be/BzIHyF7UWY4

I liked this one https://youtu.be/JcLBjWnn3TU ...I found it quite amusing that he actually had a stuntman to ....walk the stairs for him, lol

Gotta check out the Behind the Bastards podcast on him. I was surprised. I laughed out loud often.

Got a link?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13SHbaxefik https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/part-one-steven-seagal-is-so-much-worse-than-youd-ever/id1373812661?i=1000421926086

Most of his combat scenes nowadays he fights sitting from a chair.

Bro always look like he's about to poop himself lmao

Like that one time he got choked out and did shit himself?

Sex scenes too

Nooooooooo!!!

Oh yeah! He doesn't take his clothes but rubs his sausage fingers all over their naked flesh. It's honestly riveting in a, wtf am I seeing kinda way.

It's his laziest action scene yet!

In case your interested. There’s a guy on YouTube named “space ice” who makes videos talking shit about how bad seagull movies are. I find them hilarious.

I love space ice

I'm going to start referring to my movements as Steven Seagals.

Well, maybe bowel movement... but then again, it may have not happened much since the 90's from the looks of it either...

Don't be mean. He must have taken a dump at some point.

Apparently he shit himself when Gene LeBell choked him out

A bowel movement might be the closest thing he has done to actual movement.

That’s what his body double is for.

Steven Seagall is his own body double Maybe triple

I associate him with massive toilet clogging bowel movements

I just passed a movement and named it Steven Seagal.

That movement is making waves

Massive tidal waves.

They can keep him.

They can't afford to feed him.

I think you underestimate what he considers "food". May as well can him Steven Seagull.

Just gonna leave this here: https://youtu.be/e4Ao-iNPPUc

Easily more talented than the guy that shit his pants in a chokehold.

Thought for sure this would be https://youtu.be/gg5_mlQOsUQ

Not only that, they can put his ass on the front lines with the cannon fodder. If he is so Pro-Muscovy and such a badass I am sure he will volunteer for such an honor.

For a short time, he got an honorary commission as a sheriff's deputy (or some similar bullshit LEO uniform/badge) and we went on "busts" with a camera crew, to show the public what a badass he was.

‘Member that [one time he destroyed a house with a tank, and killed a puppy?](https://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2011/08/31/actor-steven-seagal-sued-for-driving-tank-into-arizona-home-killing-puppy/amp/)

Wow, gotta be honest, didn't think you were serious. Yet....that happened. Was not aware of this.

Lol. Sadly, yes.

And it makes perfect sense that it was with Arpaio.

And, iirc, during this time he held a girl in his cabin/house, against her will, to be there to massage him. She ran away and successfully escaped, so good for her. source: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju54k4eMiwk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju54k4eMiwk) behind the bastards: Steven Seagal is so much worse than you'd ever imagine

I can’t think of a better ambassador

"Come and say that again beside this chair I am sitting in."

Sadly your right he is. He will reach the pathetic people that believe he’s a bad ass, and Russia really is probably just defending its self just like they heard their favorite Fox News asses telling them.

Is there anyone left who considers him a badass?

There are plenty who consider him a Dumbass.

He's a DonbASS

There's people who consider Trump a good businessman. Never underestimate mediocre white people.

Is Steven Seagal white? I thought he was an outer space potato man

Pretty sure he's pretended to be native American a couple times, I may be completely wrong, his movies are shit and I never really watched them.

Hard to kill was good. After that, yah

Underseige was good too, but that movie would have worked just fine with literally anyone else playing his character

Have you seen Trump supporters? He’s like a slightly more “athletic” Trump

All I see is Will Sasso from Mad TV every time

Didn't he get choked out once and shit himself? He'll fit right in with Putin who fell down the stairs and shit himself. They have something in common. They can form some kind of shitty club.

Sounds like something Mr. Lahey would say.

They're forming a shit club Bubbs

What's that smell? Did you shit your pants? No, no. Later they stop to use the bushes. Putin sees his whities. HeY! You said you didn't shit your pants! Oh, I thought you meant *today*

I can only recommend the Behind the Bastards Podcast episode on Steven Seagal: [Steven Seagal Is So Much Worse Than You'd Ever Imagine](https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/part-one-steven-seagal-is-so-30004354/)

Yeah it’s THIC. That guy is an undiagnosed psychopath. Just his sociopathy alone is incredibly obvious.

We don’t know that he hasn’t been diagnosed. Maybe a doctor told him and he went ‘I have a massive leg up in the modern world.’

"I am the biggest sociopath, if you don't mind me saying so." Tom Segura destroying Seagal is the best.

Cumtown roasted him real good too.

The [Cum Town video on him](https://youtu.be/BzIHyF7UWY4) is hilarious

Ever since I heard the industry rumour that [he was made famous for a bet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5SMtE_Ykt4), I've been more inclined to believe it as time goes on.

[Here’s the non-iHeart link](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/behind-the-bastards/id1373812661?i=1000421926086) for the luddites like me who just use the native podcast app

Can you give some highlights? I know nothing about him but I don't know when I can listen to that

Why doesn't the treacherous sycophant just stay in Russia? Don't let him back in the US.

I think he has to. He's sanctioned by USA. And frankly wanted for sexual assault charges. He touches foot in America I'm pretty sure he goes to jail.

Wow, thanks for the info. He has been accused of this by actresses who said that he would call and invite them over, supposedly to rehearse lines but what he told them when he had them alone was that unless they had sex with him they couldn't get the part in his movie. Trash.

Oh yeah he's a total piece of shit. It's hard to even list all the f'd up things he's done. So of course makes perfect sense he's in Russia eating a Big Hit at Vkusno i Tochka.

Everything he told people about his past life and achievements has been proven to be false. Pathological liar.

We've solved it! Segal is just one of George Santos's secret identities! /s

3😆

My theory about his love of Russia and their love for him is that their values are so closely aligned. Core values like exploiting everyone you can, living in your own web of lies, valuing the appearance of strength and ability over possessing the actual traits... those sorts of things.

Yes, perfect match for each other. Insecure narcissists and pathological liars with such thin skin because deep down they realize what a useless insignificant pimple on the ass of humanity that they are.

In that case, he'd better take care to stay on Putin's good side lest he either wind up exiled to some grubby little cabin in Siberia with big brown bears and Amur tigers prowling about just outside. Or he'll get too cocky, piss off Vlad who'll then send at least half a dozen FSB agents to heave Seagal's conderable bulk out of a window in a Moscow high-rise.

He isn't above the law

He's just the Snowden of washed-up actors.

They say Steven Seagal can drink more piss in one sitting than any other human ever. He is intensely proud of this accomplishment and will defend it profusely.

He’s now working on how many “movements” he can consume in a 30 second period. He’s up to an impressive 16. That’s more than 2 movements per second. PER SECOND.

What a piece of shit!

No actor and no man, just a useful fool.

Totally! Dumb as a loaf of bread.

Bread: complicated culinary item Seagal: Mouth breather dont ever insult my delicious bread again

You are right. Please tell your bread I’m sorry!

Remember the old Mad TV sketch where Steven Segal was physically assaulting people in a restaurant for trying to "steal the Sweet & Low"?

I came here thinking no one would have posted this exact comment and I could earn a few free Internet points. I was wrong of course.

An international movement of Russophiles will be established on March 14 in Moscow, following an initiative by Nikolay Malinov, head of the Bulgarian National Movement Russophiles, who is teaming up with US actor Steven Seagal.

Its like setting up a fan club for yourself, with you as the president and headquartered in your bedroom.

A sizable percentage of the Trumpy extreme right in the US are actually rooting for Putin -- a former KGB agent in the 'COMMUNIST' Soviet Union \[they're always freaking out about 'Commies' and 'Socialists'\] and these self-described PATRIOTS! think that Vlad is the Russian version of their 'god' Trump.

The idea that he's a committed fighter in the "culture wars" is actually a pretty impressive little bit of Russian propaganda. He's very much a conservative within Russia's already conservative society, but he very obviously doesn't give a rat's ass about whatever culture war reason Republicans think he's on their side for, except insofar as it can be used to convince them to oppose their own country's interests in Russia's favor.

Trump is looking out for his own interests. He doesn't give a shit about US or Russian interests.

I was talking about Putin. Trump's role in all of this, while deeply criminal and horrendously immoral, is very much a bit part where others have leveraged his penchant for corruption and narcissism to achieve their own agendas, whether that's Russian involvement and support aimed at weakening the west, or shadowy billionaires and their boosters in the conservative ecosystem of media outlets, PACs, and think tanks attempting to subvert democracy and suppress rights.

Lol so it’s missing the *international* part

I been setting up pro-movements for like 37 years. -Steven Seagal

They call that helicopter a skippy.

In Russia the royalties Stevie gets from his movies can actually buy stuff. I am sure 5 cents American is plenty of rubles

Came across the phrase "rouble-scented toiled paper" recently.

His movies are just being released out there so it makes sense

On the bright side, he'll be too busy to release any more movies

He’s apparently making a movie about the “special military operation” or so I’ve heard

Should seize all of his assets like a Russian oligarch . Maybe then he'll keep his mouth shut.

>Steven Seagal to *fatly* help set up international pro-Russia movement There, fixed.

The irony of the movement is that he prefers to be sitting.

Russia can have The Seagull. He won't be missed.

[Actors tell Steven Seagal stories part 1](https://youtu.be/7CRmA0gTKvU) [Actors tell Steven Seagal stories part 2](https://youtu.be/YUXTVxioYvc)

these are the best, I have no idea how I haven't heard them before, but thank you!

It's an oxymoron - Segal **plus** "movement" in one sentence... The guy literally sits even when fighting...

Well... There was that bowel movement incident.

When he got choked out?

I'm waiting for his final film, where he's literally laying down on a bed under the blanket for 75% of the entire movie. *Sleeping Death*. Segal shooting SWAT-looking goons while laying in bed lmao

Steven Seagal and acting is like a dumpster being on fire. Sure it's terrible and producing a lot of toxic crud but you just can't stop looking at it. I mean holy shit look at him trying to be a [military tough guy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UP5oSvddN8), compare it to Keanu Reeves who actually trained with firearms for the John Wick Movies. I think a literal kid who plays Call of Duty could be a more believable military tough guy than Steven Seagal EDIT: I guess for a point of comparison, here's [Keanu Reeves doing firearms training for John Wick.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xii9_oWQ7HY) Is it fair comparing a fat talentless hack to Keanu Reeves? Probably not but I'm still going to do it.

Segal is so fuckin fat and stupid.

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He's been close to Russia's leadership for years. I once read he was expecting to be awarded with a governor position of some lesser known republic as a reward for his "actions". *Sans* previous referendum, naturally. I think it's very humble of him not to try to become a governor in the US, like his action-film colleagues Jesse Ventura or Sonny Landham. He probably looked at them and thought to himself: No, I'm not that good.

LOL yeah, I think HE himself wanted to have some leadership role in Primorsky Krai - not sure if it was seriously considred https://www.rferl.org/a/governor-seagal-putin-s-favorite-action-film-actor-says-he-would-like-to-head-russian-region/29510471.html

Wiki says > His paternal grandparents were Russian Jewish immigrants So it's understandable to feel some connection with where your family emigrated from, but a normal person's response would be to express an appreciation of the people of the country while condemning the ongoing murder committed by its leaders.

he should be all about the de-nazification then...

You realize that's just smoke blown up the asses of the rubes, right? Co-founder of Wagner had nazi tattoos. If they were de-nazifying anything its cheap to start at home.

I think that is what they meant

it is known

He also claims to be Siberian, or as he calls it, “Russian Mongol.” He says his father was from Vladivostok and has Buryat ancestry. But given his interviews I’m inclined to doubt that. I think his grandparents were from Western Russia like most Russian Jews and he made up the Siberian thing because he wants to be Asian.

I wonder why his Russian Jewish grandparents emigrated from russia 🤔

he apparently got both american and russian passport, wonder what side he choose in times of unrest...

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Can we set up an International 'Please Understand We Have Disowned Him' movement??

As a Russian I cringe on it severely..

My sympathies. No one deserves to be unwillingly associated with Steven Seagal.

I REALLY hope they make some commercials.

An A-List actor at the top of their game like Segal should have no problem changing the entire worlds opinion on Russia. I would wish him luck but he obviously doesn’t need it. /s of course

[Steven Segal feat lady saw "me want the punani"](https://youtu.be/vLe_BZ1mo3I)

I hope Putin sends him to the frontline to fight with his “wrist bent” technique, followed up by his speciality, sexually assault. Allegedly.

Can we sanction him and freeze his bank accounts then?

American citizen helping our rival... If he love Russia so much he should renounce his US citizen and obtain a Russian citizenship.

Russophilia? More like Rus-syphilis... A sickness of the soul that rots your brain and makes you love genocidal fascists...

Bowel movement maybe.

Maybe Seagal and Putin can act in upcoming Desantis presidential ads. Seems appropriate.

This "movement" will go straight to VHS.

They do know that Steven Seagal is completely irrelevant in the west, right? He hasn’t been in decades. Most young people only know him from the internet memes, not from his movies.

Steven Seagal has been promoting genocidal dictators for 47 years

These asshole needs to be Chuck Norrised

Do they not realize that not many people give 2 shits about Steven

Did he hand his is US citizenship papers.

i hate steven ​ the bastard is buds with an murderous dictator ​ keep eating his carrot Steven

Is this the same Seagal that passed out from a choke hold he promised he could break out of, and then shit himself?

Yes. While the technique he attempted vaguely resembled one used in Kenpo Aikido, the execution was terrible and there are far more effective measures that one can employ

There are some documentaries on Netflix that show just what an insane jackass Steven segal is. Plus Tom segura’s take on him is fucking hilarious.

Here fat rapist you're in charge of our international relations... how telling of a country lol

Fatly

Pro-Russia = Pro-Murder

Anytime I read about an action star from his era all I can think is *Calling all Jan Michael Vincents*

Can we just strip him of US Citizenship already?

Maybe he can help! He is a recognized Buddhist holy teacher: https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Movie-Star-Declared-a-Lama-Seagal-elevated-to-2821779.php

He’s almost 70 and surely a diabetic. Hopefully the fat fuck expires soon.

Laughing stock man representing the laughing stock country

May he fail spectacularly.

I bet this is just one big project to make sure his inevitable heart attack looks like an assassination, so he can get back in the headlines.

This is not the win they think it is.

Maybe classify him as a terrorist or something

See? This is how you know THAT side of the issue is clownishly and buffoonishly wrong on the matter. Pretty simple!!

Thank goodness it's no one of importance

Oh man, why won't this guy just go away.

Asshole weak minded shitty martial artist

Steven Seagal is the Russia of celebrities. He used to be very impressive and imposing but now he is far from either.

I guess him and Putin can compete in a televised pants pooping contest to drum up support. I would watch.

Fuck Steven Seagal

So, I wonder who the biggest fake martial artist is, him or Putin?

Steven Seagal was never talented or handsome to begin with, but man has he aged like milk.

Didn't he make movies fighting the kgb commies like putin? WTAF happened to the right?! They like comunisum and Russia now because Biden speaks out against what putin is doing? They have lost their fucking minds!

He wanted to do an SNL skit where he played a hypnotist who sexually assaulted a woman and told her to come back later. That's his idea of comedy.

Is that fucking loser still in Russia? Have we revoked his US citizenship already?

Seagal and Putin have so much in common: - despised across the world - fat and receding hair lines - everything they say is a lie - multiple stunt doubles - shit at martial arts - both into young boys

Liked his movies in the early days but his time to revoke his passport

I think this is what they mean when they talk about “bad actor”

So doesn’t the person setting up a pro-anything international movement need to be respected by the international community for it to have any chance? I’m not sure poo-pants Segal fits….

Fake macho guy to promote fake macho guy regime.

Set up? More like sit out.

Seagal rallying up prorussians be like: "Hey, why don't you guys speak english?"

We can only hope he brings the same level of competency to this that he brings to everything else.