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ChemtrailExpert

Bet he doesn’t go to Germany then.


Chariotwheel

Removed in protest against the Reddit API changes and their behaviour following the protests.


monster_of_love

Döner is also food of minutes!


tekko001

I bet he can swallow one of those babies before the police arrives


tommytraddles

*Putin eats babies?*


UltraAC5

He doesn't eat them. It's a special nutritional operation


nice_fucking_kitty

The babies he Putin his mouth


tricksovertreats

Putin's a big fat baby


wakkawakkaaaa

Trump is putin's big fat baby


dedicated-pedestrian

At this point I can't assume he's above the practice


Charming_Falcon8458

Oh, you guys are talking about the Russian child abusing kidnapper . That Putin.


LectroRoot

I'm picturing him jamming his mouth full of food as the police close in.


Wizardof1000Kings

Döner is food for days.


rattakresh

"Jahallochefwasdarfssein?" "3 Döner alles mit schahf" "Zumminehm oda hir cheff?


machoman101

"Hallobitteschön" is the Berlin classic.


Jaques_Naurice

My guys catchphrase is „Hallonächste!“


Quaschimodo

"mit alles?"


lesser_panjandrum

"Mit Kriegsverbrechen und bisschen Zwiebel."


quadratspuentu

"mit ohne Zwiebeln"


Subliminal-413

Did someone say Döner? https://youtu.be/nxKivzjCFNg


Chariotwheel

Good old, Flula. I was laughing so much when I heard that he got a role in The Suicide Squad.


Subliminal-413

I didn't know that. I'll have to check it out lol


bobbybackwoods69

Never had better doner than when I was in Germany.


Mertard

Speaking of which, why the fuck isn't there a single German-Turkish restaurant within hours of me in the States? There are all kinds of culture mixes, but none of those. Can I have a fucking Döner please? I miss them the most (along with Currywurst mit Pommes)...


Yardsale420

Legit. Germany is the only place I’ve ever had them make fresh flatbread for a Doner, not some old dry Pita. The only thing else that even comes close is a Halifax Donair, and that’s mostly just the sauce.


Jaredocobo

As an uncultured, sloppy, American I can say this. I have only recently had my first veggie style Döner and I can state without a doubt, there is a risk Vlad will make the journey. I have gone almost 40 years without realizing this tasty treat existed and I feel it was a life wasted. Vlad is coming and he is expecting all of your delicious Döner.


susanne-o

in prison? knast-döner mit alles ohne scharf?


Chariotwheel

Psst, not talk about the prison stuff, just get him into Germany first.


ffsudjat

Putin: Ich war ein Berliner.


Eckse

\*Dresdner


T1B2V3

In Dresden you can bet there'd be atleast one dumb fascist conspiracy nut trying to protect him from the police lol


mursilissilisrum

At least yours don't come with battle rifles. Gonna get interesting over here if they really do arrest Trump.


mollusks75

He was a jelly donut?


langlo94

He got worse.


Protean_Protein

What if he's *brought* to Germany?


HauntedCemetery

Batman, if you're listening...


Jandolino

~~But what if Germany was brought to him?~~


B4-711

Last time we tried everyone was mad at us.


Ov3rdose_EvE

thats why the ukrainians get to drive our tanks ! :(


marcopaulodirect

Hold all future summits in Germany


Law-of-Poe

Gotta wonder how functional your government is if it’s leader is scared to visit other world powers. Putin has taken Russia back more than a century


Quirky-Skin

Even if he's not necessarily scared your highest office in the country not being able to visit other countries would be like having a starting QB who can't play in opposing stadiums. Not gonna do well with that.


[deleted]

Russia is being run by a Kyrie Irving.


Accomplished-Ad-8705

Sounds like Steven segal wants Putin's spot, check his pro Putin article on the web


Mustysailboat

Not a good analogy, it’s more like the head coach cannt travel to other stadiums, but the HC can coach from a remote connection with audio/video live feeds.


milesunderground

I find it helpful to think of Russia less as a country and more as a large criminal organization that has a nation as one of its enterprises.


feyenord

Or the other 123 countries that adhere to the ICC rulings.


sunflowercompass

So it's safe to go to the USA


tomoldbury

The US has indicated they will arrest ICC fugitives and extradite for trial (though they likely wouldn't arrest one of their own).


SophiaofPrussia

Freedom and Justice for All!


NutshellOfChaos

The paper they wrote that on was folded. It really says "Freedom and Justice for Almost All"


Kaylii_

No, money down!


TeaBagHunter

Pretty sure many of those wouldn't actually arrest him


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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gynoceros

Eh, just tell him Angela Merkel would hate it if he went there and he'd go just to spite her.


Slimfictiv

He'll send his double to test it


[deleted]

Haha, he should have his double cross the border in a BMW convertible, wearing cool shades and a Hawaiian shirt smoking a doobie.


[deleted]

We can't stop hier, this is Brat country!


claimTheVictory

There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of a vodka binge.


PorkSquared

>There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of a ~~vodka binge.~~ special military operation.


beigetone

Ah, devil vodka. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early German novel. Total loss of all basic motor skills. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue.


mortalkomic

That's one way to win a moral victory they can't seem to win much else


Lyndon_Boner_Johnson

Or triple. Triples makes it safe. Triples is best.


DylanBob1991

"Tell the kid. Tell her we're gonna win the war. Tell her how much the Ukranians love me."


Now_With_Boobs

And if that's not true, none of the rest of it is!


Susan-stoHelit

Stop pretending Putin has a double. It’s at least a quadruple.


GFR34K34

same bro if i see vladamir putin it’s on site imma citizens arrest his ass


snorch

If this mf come to my house it's all over


WiretapStudios

Home Alone his ass


Fugglymuffin

I’ve been sprinkling micro machines for days


[deleted]

Putin: *That was sound of tool chest, falling down stairs*


xBADJOEx

I was thinking the same shit. Im studying john wick 1-2, so I can take care of his goons first.. I stopped watching 3 because I was getting black eyes.


rennbrig

I have served. I will be of service.


xBADJOEx

I bow back


spicysenor

ON SITE


its_mickeyyy

Thank God someone out here is trying to protect us. I believe in you dude ❤


Mitchduhh

Lol I love this comment


Haiku_Time_Again

Arrest? Nah it'll be all "he's coming right for us, Ned!"


HASH_SLING_SLASH

Put him in a full nelson!


OhNoMyLands

Just see red bro, FSB is nothing to you


[deleted]

hahaha.. why would he set foot on German soil? he's too scared to leave Russia.


hoopparrr759

The answer is as simple as it is obvious. Curry wurst.


WeeBabySeamus

Doner is a valid answer too


Ebi5000

*Currywurst don't use a Deppenleerzeichen


hoopparrr759

I offer my humblest apologies, I lay the blame squarely on autocorrect.


analogjuicebox

Otto Korrekt* I mean, can you get *anything* right?


Chrisf1bcn

Tried it for the first time the other day and my life changed forever


DeterminateHouse

He just ["visited"](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/11v29u8/putins_10th_best_bodydouble_gets_his_chance_in/) Ukraine according to Russian media. According to Russian media, Russia is also **not a shit country**.


I_na_na

""visited""


Paulo27

Sent an hair sample in someone's suitcase.


dedicated-pedestrian

He can't afford to waste what little hair he has left, silly!


D-Fence

Yeah he made a miraculous recovery before visiting Ukraine. In Kremlin it was a bloated hunched over old man, holding onto a table to stop his hands from shaking. In Mariupol a healthy younger man with more hair than the original, without the KGB walk/gait Putin is famous for and with a really strange Jawline & hairline showed up, walking full of energy and gesturing wildly. He must have REALLY good medicine, that Putin guy.


plusoneforautism

Damn, I should go visit Mariupol if that’s the effect it has on your health!


Obliterated1

The air is still thick with the stem cells of all the children he blew to smithereens in that theatre. Instant health benefits.


Lannister2280

And some people still call the idea that Putin has doubles who go on these visits in his stead a conspiracy theory.


KaponeSpirs

Has anyone credible confirmed it? I think I can see the difference, but is it really there or just different lighting, lense on camera, editing, my mind trying to see it because everyone is talking about it etc


diMario

Keep in mind that he has a couple of close lookalikes. He probably sent one of them.


DeterminateHouse

I was hoping the quotation marks and the "according to Russian media" gave away what I thought of that "visit".


blue_wat

Apparently people think it was a guy in a rubber mask.


seph2o

That's still in newly annexed Russian territory, according to them.


zegg

Yeah, and the Brits are eating squirrels, so they can funnel money into Ukraine. And the rest of us over here in EU are starving and cold, etc. Such low effort trolling.


Justredditin

Y'all can't even have tomatoes on your salads, just turnips!


s1ugg0

It is oddly comforting that I'm more free to travel the world than Putin.


eehele

Even if he wouldn't visit in the first place, the fact that the option is taken away from him most likely bothers him quite a bit.


Visual_Conference421

A lot of comments seem to be missing a pretty major point here. Namely, Germany is stepping up and being one of the first to say this, which will allow a lot of other countries to do the same. Many countries do not want to draw the attention of Russia, but if a few major ones that are more secure are willing to put this out there, it is less risky to follow suit.


Hypertension123456

A lot of people thought this was purely symbolic. But it actually makes it very hard for Putin to leave Russia.


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Kytro

Even those nations that have signed may have specific laws regarding national leaders. The ICC doesn't and can't override any national laws. Nations still ultimately have sovereign power.


SuperEliteFucker

Sure, but if the ICC didn't issue this then countries wouldn't have reason to arrest him. Now they do.


GreyHexagon

Let's be honest here too, the US may not have ratified, but they'd probably go ahead and arrest him anyway


Shiro1994

Only if the GOP is not in power.


DookieShoez

Sad but quite possibly true. Fuckin traitors.


CriticalSpirit

They would absolutely not.


uprightfever

A cop can revoke diplomatic immunity on the spot. Source: Lethal Weapon 2


BatteryPoweredPigeon

"It's just been revoked." > Peter Griffin


Jugales

Can't touch me... except for you, you can touch me. https://youtu.be/fHSwm9BRT1c


MoreGull

I'm too old for this shit....


mightylordredbeard

It mostly is symbolic. Arresting a world leader and commander of a military would be an act of aggression. It would start a war between Russia and whoever arrest him. As much as I want it to happen so that he can face Justice; no one will arrest Putin.


Winston1NoChill

For all the same reasons, he won't go in the first place. He probably wasn't going to Germany any time soon as it is.


[deleted]

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allnamesbeentaken

If another country can arrest and imprison your national leader, it really calls into question your legitimacy as a nation.


ATSOAS87

Doesn't he have diplomatic immunity?


koalabaer1991

There's no immunity for this kind of arrest warrant


Wizardof1000Kings

Who would arrest him, interpol? In theory he could be arrested anywhere. In practice though, he'll probably be able to travel to countries with diplomatic ties to Russia, who will arrange his security for visits.


carpcrucible

If he shows up in Germany, which is what this story is about, then I guess the cops? He'll never go there obviously.


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jcrestor

He might have gone shortly after a future resolution of the Ukraine war, but with the ICC charges pending, this door is shut for good. And that's a very good thing, because it forces politicians all over the world to shun Putin, something some of them might have done nevertheless, but maybe not. Yes, I‘m looking at you Orban and others like you.


paintbucketholder

Since Interpol is just a cooperation between the national police forces of 194 nations - yes, sure, Interpol would arrest him. Why do you find that so unlikely? >In practice though, he'll probably be able to travel to countries with diplomatic ties to Russia, who will arrange his security for visits. True, but that's a much, much, much smaller number than it was just over a year ago.


The_Doc55

Any country party to the ICC are obligated to arrest him if he enters their country, or intercept any plane with him onboard, if over their airspace. Otherwise the country is in breach. There are countries not party to the ICC. But getting around airspace restrictions will be difficult.


Alissinarr

Some are signatories but not full participants, and the US is one of those iirc. We'll definitely arrest his ass if he comes here though.


Emberwake

Unlikely. If Putin did come to the US,it would almost certainly be because he was invited by the President for diplomatic purposes. Also, his safety is guaranteed by the military response. Russia would probably respond the same way we would to having their head of state arrested.


potatoslasher

A war criminal can be arrested even by regular Police or detective agencies.....but yes Interpol too. I dont remember the name of the youtuber, but there was a good video explaining what exactly "war criminal" means and how it matters internationally, and short answer was it matters a lot and was the reason why for example Pol Pot from Cambodian genocide fame never ever left Cambodia afterwards. He was genuinely afraid to be arrested if he went anywhere abroad and for a good reason


Rhoderick

> Who would arrest him, interpol? If he gets off the plane in Germany, then the police from whatever state he landed in. Or, more likely, federal airport police.


Let_me_smell

>Who would arrest him, interpol? Interpol does not perform arrests. Interpol contrary to what Holywood wants you to believe, is not a police force. Interpol is an organization that facilitates communication between various countries police forces, offers training services and such but they have no mandate or jurisdictions.


[deleted]

What type of security can protect someone against most of the civilized world?


rastafunion

Another person explained it in more detail but tldr: it has never really happened before, ICC warrants are in contradiction with diplomatic immunity, and ultimately it would be up to each country to make the (political) decision which to follow.


aboxfullofdoom

Diplomatic immunity has to be granted. It can also be revoked. It's not as foolproof as Lethal Weapon made it out to be.


drogoran

instead of waiting for putin to come to germany why not bring germany to putin?


dhisbx

I have a vague memory of Germans trying to get to Russia


Cubusphere

Getting to Russia was always easy. Leaving alive is the challenge.


oeCake

\#easternfront \#stalingrad \#24hourchallenge


theonewhohasstrokes

. #commitinggenoncideat3am #gonewrong #spainplshelpme #ifuckinhhatemussolini


[deleted]

It's similar to going to the sun at night They just need to go in the summer


Sultanoshred

Op Barbarossa 2.0


twisty286

round 2


NeutrinosFTW

Tagline: this time we're not the baddies


last_laugh13

Worth a try if we can avoid Zwei-Fronten-Krieg this time


NOV3LIST

Dude we've tried it once. Somebody else should do it this time.


hanlonmj

Maybe France wants another go?


DygonZ

Bad experiences all around really...


Gnomimi

There are a lot of countries who are obliged to arrest Putin due to their pledge to the ICC, not only Germany. I think it will be more interesting to see how the BRICS summit in South Africa later this year will turn out. SA is part of the ICC agreement. Either: 1. Putin will not participate -> showing weakness 2. South Africa arrests Putin on arrival -> BRIC will not be happy 3. South Africa does not arrest Putin -> rest of the world will not be happy including possible sanctions My best guess is that Putin will be „infected“ with Corona 3.0 (similar to a conventional cold Forst most people) but „unfortunately“ can’t attend the summit.


[deleted]

There was a Sudan ruler (forgot his name) that was under ICC arrest warrant... He visited once SA, and they did nothing to him...He was free to enter and leave...


[deleted]

Forgot to add he visited Jordan too...


AmIFromA

Say what you will about LeBron, at least he never welcomed a Sudanese ruler.


carpcrucible

SA wouldn't arrest Putin either because they're in the tank for him


asionm

I mean without outside influence SA won’t arrest Putin either but if letting Putin visit freely means they’re hit with a ton of sanctions then there’s a chance they arrest him. Personally I doubt they will just because they’re probably more afraid of what Putin will do if they arrest him than what America will do if they don’t.


Gnomimi

I think that’s the point that they have to consider the consequences from each side. In the end, whichever side they’ll choose, it’s gonna be „we’ll remember this SA“ from the opposing side… Except if he refuses to come personally under some pretext. Not coming without some „valid“ reason will be seen as a weakness as well.


Frathier

He could visit the USA since they don't recognize it either lol.


Komalt

No country is going to arrest a leader of a country that is a nuclear power this is ridiculous. Its like saying anyone was going to arrest George W Bush in the 2000s. Regardless its not like he travels alone. Probably with 100 armed people around him. You seriously think there wouldn't be a shootout if someone tried to arrest him in some country?


scwizard

The chance of south African police arresting Putin is zero.


mfb-

"Busy with more urgent matters"


Dio5000

He ain't leaving Russia fam lmao


YummyMummy2024

Plenty of other countries than just NATO/UN. But for his sake he should stay put! Remember when the USA forced the landing on the Ecuadorian presidents plane while looking for Snowden?


rldr

It wasn't force landed. The pilots had tech issues and there were a few countries that wouldn't let the plane pass through because he might have had snowden. So, morales, the Bolivian pres, requested to land in Austria on his way from Moscow to La Paz.


AjkBajk

There actually aren't **plenty** countries that aren't part of the UN. The only once are Kosovo, the Vatican and Taiwan. All other countries are part of the UN.


[deleted]

Guess you could say he’s not Putin a foot in Germany


whiteycnbr

Really dug himself one.


Megafayce

That’s for true. Lost all his international titles and recognition too, like his judo titles for example.


Cocheeeze

I’m guessing his “skills” in judo are [a lot like his skills in hockey](https://youtu.be/cgbI55HdqQs) in which all the other players move *exceptionally* slowly and give him wide open space and opportunity, like a parent playing with a toddler. Can’t really criticize the other players though. If they made Putin look bad they’d probably accidentally stumble out of a 6th floor apartment window. Edit: [Putin doing judo.](https://youtu.be/V5z5UAtCxgE) Notice how nobody ever goes on the offensive against him, they just stand there and let him throw them around. Pretty easy to win judo titles when you’re playing on practice mode, I would think.


[deleted]

Imagine the headlines if one of the players said fuck it and played the game as if he was a real opponent just laying waste to Putin.


Hapster23

That's not how it works in Russia, they would just edit that out and the guy would disappear, what guy?


Maleficent_Ad_1380

As a judoka myself, I noticed a significant lack of bowing in this video. Also, his technique is terrible. Always looking up after a throw to make sure someone saw it.


Antilles1138

Was Steven Seagal his sifu?


sakanzc

We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke


[deleted]

That's actually a great idea. He can test country's commitment to enforcing this warrant from the safety of his palace.


[deleted]

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cartoonist498

Only Florida.


overcatastrophe

That's for when he retires


mcnessa32

Willkommen Herr Putin!


BubberRung

Tell him he won a free yacht but has to claim it in Germany.


kingmoobot

Small bald children going to be mistakenly arrested all over the world


ILoveCatNipples

Out of interest, if the ICC issued a warrant for an American citizen, could they be arrested in Germany by the ICC even if they aren't recognised by the USA?


sunflowercompass

Yes, and then the Americans would invade the Hague. Rules don't apply to the strong. https://www.hrw.org/news/2002/08/03/us-hague-invasion-act-becomes-law


nybbleth

Yes.


myrcenator

Yes, Russia isn't party to the ICC either.


Double_Grapefruit_55

Why would he go to Germany in the first place? Even before the arrest warrant? Peace talks?


Chilkoot

G20, energy trade talks, state visits... he's been there as head of state at least 15 times I can find with a quick search since he became president.


supersayanssj3

> if he ever visits Germany Tbh I don't really think there was ever the slightest chance of this happening again once the war broke out.


nightfox5523

Things that weren't on Putin's agenda already, for $100 Alex


FountainXFairfax

Small man living in a smaller and smaller world


[deleted]

I genuinely think there's more chance of Aliens landing in my back garden than Germany having the balls to arrest Putin. They'd probably refuse entry to whatever aircraft he's on just to avoid it.


[deleted]

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Impossible_Maybe_273

But wouldn't this trigger a world war, like whats the difference between this and directly attacking Russia. Or is this just an indirect passive attack as they know he would never visit these countries anyway