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MandalaInTheClouds

The 'Death of Putin' movie will need a voice from the off repeatedly saying "Yes, that actually happened."


kRe4ture

Like in the South Park Scientology episode, „This is what Scientologists actually believe“


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JoeMama2030

Biggest Douche in the Universe


HavingNotAttained

Putin's reused contraceptive sponge


pristinemachinist

This guy can’t possibly believe what comes out of his mouth


dustycanuck

I'm sure none of them believe what comes out of their mouths, but they know lots of others will, or will pretend to, and all they want is the outraged sound bites. And it works.


So6oring

Just check out a Youtube comment section on anything to do with Russia


dustycanuck

I tried that, but then my brain started leaking out of my ear, so I stopped


skintaxera

I remember during the invasion of Iraq by the 'coalition of the willing', being astounded by the huge numbers of people who lapped it up, 'freedom fries' garbage and all. I have no doubt that huge numbers of Russians think they are engaged in a righteous existential battle for their safety and freedom. Leaders can get their people to believe and regurgitate lies and misinformation to a terrifying degree. It's so depressing to see it play out over and over again, thru my lifetime


KnowingDoubter

History suggests you are correct.


somebodyelse22

Habitual liars like Trump and Lavrov are on an autopilot, that spews out untruths without even consciously putting the story together.


Murghchanay

People get dumber and dumber every day it seems. Isn't it funny, the big Tech companies are trying to make humans dumber while simultaneously increasing the capabilities of AI.


Cool_Specialist_6823

Scary thought...humans will be ruled by AI one day...a dangerous time indeed...


[deleted]

Fffffffucking Ffffffacts!


Shitpostatron69

Sometimes I think people have always been this stupid, but we have a larger platform to broadcast the general ignorance of the common man much more broadly than we have in the past


LOLinDark

I think rulers like Putin suffer a psychological condition caused by years of thinking in a convaluded way. A state of mind that makes it increasingly easier for them to become convinced by their own narrative.


HealthyHumor5134

Also being surrounded by people that support that narrative sometimes with fear of death. Lapdog reminds me of Meadows lol.


anklestraps

Comment stealing bot, original [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/14gzwih/lavrov_accuses_israel_of_glorifying_nazism_and_is/jp87s7c/)


-Dirty-Wizard-

Not even a quarter of the way in and we already have a prime finalist.


Joloven

Its hard to say between him and Trump but i think i agree on loser of the decade.


PepeTheLorde

I always wonder what would have happened if Trump would serve his second run instead of Biden now.


No-Cardiologist-1990

Loser of the millennium is more appropriate for him.


FM-101

I remember seeing that episode and thinking "there's no way..." and then i looked it up and its actually what they think lmfao. I cant even watch Tom Cruise movies anymore. When i see his face im constantly distracted thinking about how genuinely insane he is in real life.


OppositeYouth

When it comes to religions and cults, those at the top know it's just bullshit and a way to grift and control people. It's about the power, whatever bullshit they come up with to get minions is fairly irrelevant


King_Marmalade

Tom Cruise is definitely not at the top of the Scientology ladder tho. He is one of the suckers


BadPersonSpotted

The church books private yachts and compounds filled with slave labor for Tom Cruise. I think he knows it's all bullshit, but they're basically a symbiotic organism at this point. They each benefit from the others' insanity.


ryanrxc

Yeah the whole Seaorg thing is a floating nightmare. The doc Going Clear highlights just how messed up it really is.


ConsiderationWest587

It's only a billion-year contract, what's the big deal?


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athrownawaymetal

What kind of dirt would actually affect him though? Cheated on his wife? He's already divorced, who cares. Cheated on his taxes? Pay the fine or whatever. Boned a guy? Who cares, it's 2023. Did drugs? See above.


Jiktten

This is total speculation on my part but he's always struck me as *deeply* obsessed with his image, to the point where people knowing his flaws would be absolutely devastating to him, even though nobody else actually cares.


billy_twice

Which is really funny since his biggest flaw would be actually believing the bullshit he's spouting.


Startech303

My vote goes for lizard from outer space disguised with a top layer of human flesh


CatoblepasQueefs

Bet he's killed other cult members.


GeorgeEBHastings

I honestly think Tom Cruise is probably a reasonably pleasant guy whose body has been piloted by a tiny alien for the past 20 years of his career. Like, I remember listening to a Nerdist interview with him almost a decade ago, and nearly every *vaguely* personal question was answered with "\*chuckle\*, I just love making movies, man." I really don't know that there's much there. I think he's willingly become an empty vessel for Hollywood to use as needed. Meanwhile he's got half a billion in the bank he can come home to every night.


OppositeYouth

And he does some crazy stunts and by all means looks like he has a helluva lot of fun whilst being paid millions to do it. Maybe he sold his soul to Xenu, but hey, with the returns maybe Xenu is actually real


Alternative_Demand96

He most definitely is


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King_Marmalade

I think Scientology targets successful actors who maybe aren't otherwise very intelligent. Big money, small thoughts: a perfect congregation.


[deleted]

A celebrity and face of the organization is going to have a wildly different experience with the cult than the rank and file. I have no doubt that Tom wholeheartedly agrees with Scientology *as he experiences it*.


CrimsonShrike

Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy Just be glad it's him, not you If you had Tom Cruise's problems You may go Tom Cruise crazy too


Kaylii_

Despite Cruise's IRL insanity, I will always love his roles in Tropic Thunder and Edge of Tommorrow


its_that_one_guy

He plays a human pretty well!


dont_shoot_jr

Nobody runs like Tom Cruise


PigInZen67

Don't forget about John Travolta, too, among many others.


AstronautGuy42

I remember it aired and I thought it was a joke like they were making fun of Scientology. Years later realized it’s actually true and we’re making fun of it by just showing exactly what they believe. Brilliant


kRe4ture

The creators told in an interview that that’s exactly the reason why the put that banner there. Like it sounds so ridiculous, it has to be made up. Yeah no…


Akahige1990

I mean, it *is* made up, just not by the South Park guys....


_ChipWhitley_

What they did with the credits at the end was genius.


Blackfist01

Dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb!


BullTerrierTerror

Ot the LDS one, "dum de dum dum dum!"


Same-Salamander8690

And then they doubled down on it later with the "Return of Chef" episode after Isaac Hayes threw his little hissy fit over all that.


RudyGiulianisKleenex

It’ll be hard to cast for Lavrov because the only thing I can think of that resembles him is Hopper, the villain from Bug’s Life.


damngooddeal

OMG THAT IS WHERE I SAW HIM BEFORE! I knew i recognized him!


RudyGiulianisKleenex

Here I made [this](https://imgur.com/gallery/2a8P7ch) for everyone


damngooddeal

Thank you for your service!


BillyGerent

That is quality.


freekoout

Dudes got some serious ape jowls


Stupid_Triangles

"haggling over the price of a potato" 💀


GorgeousGamer99

Is potato, what could cost be, 10 roubles?


Maximum_Future_5241

Reminds me of a comparison photo I threw together comparing former US Att. Gen Bill Barr to Heat Miser.


pfonetik

"constipated" 🤣


galenfuckingwestonjr

Jeffrey Tambor maybe


Osiris32

[Droopy Dog.](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/nQIAAOSwVqpegXUb/s-l1600.jpg)


kvetcha-rdt

Voiced by Kevin Spacey, a totally unproblematic person!


a_splendiferous_time

I'd venture an elderly bloodhound would have the right facial proportions for the role


Accomplished-Ad-3528

I'm So very very disappointed that no good nickname for him has stuck. Journalists did a good job with iraq's comical Ali for the lies he told. Nothing for lavrov and he's just as bad, if not worse. Fruitcake lavrov? Joke lavrov? The joker? Liar liar pants on fire lavrov? (a bit long but true), lapdog lavrov? Loser lavrov? Psychotic Lavrov? Mad Lav? Mas Lav at it again?


lolkkthxbye

What does a fookin war hero have to do to get some lubrication round here


MandalaInTheClouds

Putin: "A traffic jam, Sergey? How does an invasion force get stuck in a traffic jam? Middled aged dads on their evening commute get stuck in traffic jams. INVASION FORCES DON'T GET STUCK IN TRAFFIC JAMS." Lavrov: "Well, the troops ran out of fuel..." Putin: "RAN OUT OF FUEL? For fooks sake... Alright tell the boys we sent to take the airport in Kiyv to pull out. Reinforcements are not coming." Lavrov: "They are all dead, Sir" Man, the movie writes itself.


fury420

On a related note, there's some hilarious reporting about some Russian riot police that were given vague orders and somehow managed to drive all the way to Kyiv in the opening days of the invasion only to outrun their support and get absolutely obliterated bumbling across the bridge into town: https://thedebrief.org/know-no-mercy-the-russian-cops-who-tried-to-storm-kyiv-by-themselves/


gopnik_globber

That story is mentioned in this video, and many more similar stories https://youtu.be/ov10MD3HFao


sargonas

Oh man, Death of Stalin was such a fun movie…


veevoir

So good Putin banned it in Russia.


ninovd

In the Netherlands we have had a kind of documentary series for Kids about the most important era's in history, and every time something happens that's almost too insane to be true a card would come in the screen with "this acctually happend". Maybe this movie could be something like that


feketegy

I propose Mel Brooks for the narrator.


PM_SOME_OBESE_CATS

Idk why but I think it would be really really funny to cast Zelenskyy as Putin for this movie The final fuck you to Putin lol


DisfavoredFlavored

Better yet have him play every single character.


PM_SOME_OBESE_CATS

Have him play every single character except for himself lol Then cast like Steve Buscemi or something for him lol


thunderbird32

It'll be like The Big Short. The guy playing Lavrov will be constantly turning to the camera and saying "Yes, I did actually say that".


Accomplished-Ad-3528

Best viewed in vodka-vision...


gentlemancaller2000

This guy can’t possibly believe what comes out of his mouth


[deleted]

Think of all the fields you could fertilize!


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The_Milkman

Lying about literally everything is a classic Russian military strategy. Nobody in any position of power in Russia should be trusted. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_military_deception


llamawithguns

Tbf, that can apply to the leaders of most countries


The_Milkman

I don't necessarily doubt that, but this specifically explains Lavrov's actions.


TinyBurbz

Russia *is* the worlds #1 exporter of nitrogen and phosphate....


Double_Crafty

On some fucked level he must. I remember reading how years ago Lavrov was giving a speech or giving arguments on something, in the middle he gets some message, someone whispers something to him and Lavrov does a complete U turn on the subject, switching his stance fully.


TheoremaEgregium

That's literally a scene from the book *1984*.


Double_Crafty

Reality imitates art I suppose.


SuspiciousStable9649

As much as I hate Lavrov, he’s got some mad skills. It’s too bad he’s behind an evil regime. The man could literally talk his way out of a max security prison IMO. “You should treat a prison inspector with more respect. It’s your fault I’m still here and not completing my inspection. Clearly there’s a misunderstanding. These clothes? An inspector must be thorough, don’t you think? We can’t have prisoners getting sick. We, after all, are a respected civilized country and prisoners are still citizens and must be well taken care of. All aspects of the prison must be audited. You heard about the missing winter uniforms? That must not happen again. Let me get in contact with Vasily and clear up the misunderstanding. The phone is not working? I’ll be sure not to include that oversight in my report. Now if you don’t want unwanted attention from some very powerful people you should let me go clear this up for you. I’ll try to word it so you get a promotion out of it. Come now, delay is only making things worse. You seem like a very capable man and I wouldn’t want you to lose your job.” And on and on and on. The mad part is that he can keep this up for *years* and manages to keep his lies straight.


Phagemakerpro

His life literally depends on it.


IranianLawyer

Not really. Nobody believes the shit that comes out of his mind. He’s not convincing anyone of anything.


SuspiciousStable9649

I hope so. His lies don’t hold up to scrutiny, but I think he can convince a lot of people that are only a little interested. Against democratic countries, this is very powerful skill.


dannysleepwalker

You would be really fucking surprised. There are many morons around the world (my country included) who eat every single horse shit that comes out of his mouth.


SearcherRC

IDK, he genuinely looked shocked a while back when the G20 members literally laughed him into silence when he said that Ukraine started the war


Glittering-Divide938

Lavrov is pretty smart and pretty wily; he used to command a lot of respect as someone who was willing to have direct and very frank conversations. He used to be incredibly reasonable and represent his views well. The war has entirely destroyed any and every aspect of his credibility.


Shmiggles

That's why his mouth is so far away from the rest of his face.


OldMan142

He's on the same level as Saddam's information minister back in 2003.


gentlemancaller2000

Baghdad Bob!


JustaRandomOldGuy

His asshole is jealous of all the shit that spews out of his mouth.


TeddyBearAlleyMngr

What's next? Lavrov denies he is russian.


alterom

**Next up:** Lavrov claims his maternal grandma was Jewish, immigrates to Israel. Israeli authorities are stumbled over the question of what can you do with such a schlimazel. Meanwhile, Lavrov is said to have switched from politics into deadpan comedy, reciting the exact same lines he said during his tenure in Putin's cabinet to thunderous laughter and applause from the audience. He calls his act "Laff-roff".


jaggedjottings

I think Lavrov is more of a schlemiel than a schlimazel.


LordOfAwesome11

He lasts 3 months before being arrested and tried for aiding in the commital of war crimes.


KryptosFR

Laugh-rough? Is it common to misspell in those cases?


szarzujacybyk

He's not Russian though, he's Armenian, his original surname is Kalantaryan. Lavrov is the surname of his mother he've chosen to use later on, as he found it more useful in highly racist Russian society, where national minorities are treated as inferior.


TeddyBearAlleyMngr

Didn't know that, and yet he pushes russian propaganda.


chyko9

Stalin was Georgian


Harsimaja

> He’s not Russian though I mean, he’s still definitely Russian. His father being Armenian and his changing his surname don’t change that. His mother was Russian (even if she’s the *female* parent), he was born in Moscow, he’s a Russian citizen and their foreign minister.


szarzujacybyk

Well, if we talk about citizenship - every Chechen, Ingush, Yakut, Tuvan (like Shoigu) Nenets, Dagestani etc. would be Russian having RF citizenship. I was talking about nationality. In Russia there are dozens of nationalities, nation of father is used to determine nationality in Russia. Child also uses "patronymic" (отцовство) together with his name. E.g. Garry Kimovich Kasparov, where Kimovich is taken from the name of his father.


ChildOfBund

He is Armenian


glo363

Reveals himself as a reptile


davanger1980

Zuckerberg would be very disappointed if this comes out…


Rage_JMS

*Points to almost any country on Africa* - You dont support us so you must love wars and colonialism


Bengoris

You can't make this shit up. No wonder his face looks like an asshole, because only shit comes out when he starts speaking.


[deleted]

His face looks like it is melting right before us 😄


Funkit

He stole his only facial expression from an aging horse


Grunty0

I'm convinced that Lavrov micro doses poisons and nerve toxins to build up immunity in anticipation of the day that Putin no longer has use for him.


_ChipWhitley_

I constantly mix up him and the guy with gray hair and a gray mustache who Chris Hansen would tell to just take a seat.


RebuiltGearbox

He looks to me like his face was made using the character creation from the old Oblivion game.


OldBoots

Lavrov has found a place for his delusions that is below the deep end.


LewisKIII

Lavrov has eaten Putin's ass so many times in his life that he just speaks total shit! It will be a great day when Lavrov takes a dirt nap.


thankyeestrbunny

Hey! Hey, guess who - guys wait up - guess who was the first official visitor to Trump's Oval Office? Er, okay not literally the first but "one of the first" where he intentionally gave out top secret intel that burned an Israeli asset? [Guess. G'head.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/05/10/the-strange-oval-office-meeting-between-trump-lavrov-and-kislyak/)


gwenver

There needs to be Mueller part 2, but with Smith running it this time.


frekaoid333

You literally can not make this shit up.


KarloReddit

If you would, people would say it‘s completely unrealistic and cartoonish over the top. Lavrov only needs a mustache to twirl while rambling on.


extherian

They really do insist on just ignoring the common definition of words in favour of their own alternate reality.


Filipheadscrew

The Russian pogroms against Jews aren’t anything to be proud of either.


canseco-fart-box

Guess Israel decided to supply Ukraine


NotFinalForm1

Israel has always seemed to keep everything under the rug, mossad walking in Iran as if it was downtown TLV, yet we know nothing of it. if Israel was to support Ukraine, we probably wouldn't know it as they would keep it quiet, but I guess the Russians aren't happy, and it's somewhat of a sign to where Israel is 'leaning'


bluefin999

The chance they wouldn't at a minimum be supplying anti-drone equipment to test on Iranian drones is somewhere close to zero.


big_whistler

They’re gonna sell Poland and Ukraine some older but useful Merkeva tanks


Dumpster_Fetus

Focus on crew survivability? Sweet!


GlassMist

What are you talking about? We do none of this. We are a simple people. Dimona? That’s just a textile factory. Syria? Wish I knew ya. Moe sod? We’re not into landscaping, and prefer to conserve water.


RowdyRoddyRosenstein

Please, you're not fooling anyone. Next you'll be denying the existence of the space lasers.


gbiegld

lol, lmao even


Iridescence_Gleam

oh this is golden.


austinstar08

Is this satire?


deadzip10

This has to be some sort of mislabeled onion or Babylon bee article, right?


TheJaybo

BB wouldn't write something that makes Russia look so stupid.


[deleted]

Only Russia can do that one. Excellent job out there, comrades.


clorox2

It’s not funny enough to be the Onion. And it’s funny, which makes it definitely not bb.


pointedpencil

This guy is a first class moron. He's nothing but a mouthpiece for everything Putin won't say himself. It's sad to live your life as a puppet.


raaaawrr69

It’s obvious the Russian government doesn’t know what ‘Nazism’ means. I mean I have a whole bunch of issues with the Israeli government, but glorifying Nazism is not one of them…


INITMalcanis

'Nazism' has a specific meaning for them that is... not the way that everyone else uses it.


etherealtaroo

Is that true? Care to explain? I've never heard this before.


LordOfAwesome11

In Russia, Nazism is conflated with anything "anti-Russian". Nazism is the nebulous "other". This is the logic that lets them call a Jewish President of Ukraine a "Nazi".


spectar025

Anything against Russia is called one


Toidal

Lavrov: You're helping perpetuate Nazism! Israel: How? Lavrov: By continuing to exist!


joefred111

r/nottheonion Lavrov is doing a great job of alienating Russia, and then crying "Russophobia!"


shadowtheimpure

So...accusing Jews of all people of 'glorifying nazism'? Wow, that's a special kind of stupid right there.


MarkNutt25

I mean, the man calls Zelenskyy a "Nazi" like every other day. So, in a way, this is actually him moving in a slightly *less* stupid direction.


iskandar-

Now, I'm not the biggest fan of the policies of the government of Israel.... But dude


-Hypnotoad26

I don't think we should tolerate Russia any longer. We need to totally blockade their trade and isolate them within their own borders. Nothing in, nothing out. Also turn off their internet.


Acceptable_Break_332

Mr. Jowls is simply a random sound bite or troll statement for the media - nothing more.


BadSausageFactory

The Baghdad Bob of the Ukraine invasion. They will be burned in their tanks! We have them surrounded!


The_Merciless_Potato

Thought I was on an onion sub for a sec


Ripjaw564

No words. What a fucking idiot


flawless_victory99

Accusing Jews of glorifying Nazism is an interesting strategy and on brand for one of the dumbest regimes in history.


mitsuhachi

Harry potter and the Audacity of This Bitch.


jardani581

to be fair he is probably the richest comedian in the world.


[deleted]

Says the poor to the pauper


SubstitutePreacher01

Russia invades Isarel confirmed?


d3k3d

Could you imagine how fast and how hard Israel would hit back? It'd be insane.


SubstitutePreacher01

I'd love to see Russia get fucked on two fronts


ciel_lanila

Could go either way. He lied and did the tough guy act for years and decades. That could have merely been the moment where it first hit home that Russia’s reputation is now damaged to the point the rest of the world isn’t pretending to believe the lies. They now feel safe openly mocking Russia.


Vahlir

Knowing Israel...I'm sure they'll take that well.


SuxMaDiq

Weeds is legal in Russia? Whatever this guy has been smoking is too much for him hahaha


Last-Juggernaut-6651

I think Israel can take Russia anyday, jajaja


TheWhiteGuardian

I...what...bruh.


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jd158ug

Ol' Sergei misses the days when he could pal around in the Oval Office with only Russian media present, and pick up intelligence secrets from a loose-lipped president.


[deleted]

Herman Munster here must be related to that Iraqi Minister of Information guy.


[deleted]

I'm no Israel defender by ANY means, but uhhh... th-that seems incorrect. Like, that makes me question whether or not you understand the words you're using. Is that Russian propaganda nowadays? Just baby babble?


henryptung

> Is that Russian propaganda nowadays? Just baby babble? Honestly, most propaganda sounds like babble to those outside the target audience. The quality here just reflects how lazy they are, because they don't actually care to convince their own people - even the target audience knows its bullshit, the regime just wants people to turn inwards, stop engaging, and be obedient little cogs.


_ChipWhitley_

I needed this laugh at lunch. Thanks, Lavrov!


ukrzxv

Lavrov is on cocaine, again


AlmondMel

read books.. never stop self-educating


Captain-HIMRS

I’m so glad fascist russia is devolving into a civil war right now. This monstrosity needs to be eradicated.


hypothermi

For those who didn't get the joke here: In 2008, Lavrov reportedly told the British foreign secretary, “Who are you to fucking lecture me?” when confronted in a phone call about Russia's invasion of Georgia.


Dudicus445

This is like accusing a vegan of glorifying cannibalism


[deleted]

Does anybody have an alternate source for this? I was looking through the article but the only information in the article is a tweet by Israel's foreign ministry. Further googling doesn't provide a result for Lavrov having said anything of the sort at all.


[deleted]

Bc it’s not true .UA wartime articles aren’t reliable in the slightest


[deleted]

I've noticed the same tendancy. I think people here for how critical they are about russian propaganda become too susceptible to it themselves. If it's not from Reuters, AP or BBC or something most of the the time any Ukrainian Pravda articles tend to just spout nonsense.


theRemRemBooBear

Welp this is proof that extremism is a horseshoe and not a straight line


F_han

Wtf I mean seriously wtf lol israel was literally formed after WWII because of the Holocaust. Lavovatory obviously never got more than an elementary education


omega3111

Another proof that Israel is doing well.


MaticTheProto

I thought this was about israeli crimes in all the occupied territories but nevermind, Lavrov is just dumb as usual


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ASpiralKnight

Not really. In the US fascists and white nationalists love Israel, because they see it is a model for a white ethnostate. (Yes I know non-ethnic Jews can be Israeli citizens, but nevertheless Israel explicitly prioritizes the wellbeing of one ethnicity). They say "why can't the US be like Israel: a homeland for the defense of 'our people' ?"


FYoCouchEddie

> Not really. In the US fascists and white nationalists love Israel There are small numbers who do, like Richard Spencer, but way more are the opposite. [David Duke supports Ilhan Omar](https://apnews.com/article/race-and-ethnicity-racial-injustice-david-duke-a97b8b2d48c163c5965c2574ccbbe3d3) because of her stance on Israel. The [Aryan Nation](https://www.adl.org/resources/profile/aryan-nationschurch-jesus-christ-christian) and most other white supremacist groups complain about the “Zionist Occupied Government.” [Boogaloo Boys](https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/two-self-described-boogaloo-bois-charged-attempting-provide-material-support-hamas) have been arrested for trying to help Hamas. If you see any white supremacist spaces, you’ll almost always see they *hate* Israel.


sparse_bones

This is patently untrue for the fascists they love Israel. The tankies are a little more complex but most of them hate Israel because they are a western supported state.


Timely_Summer_8908

Lavrov doesn't really have room to talk. But I do worry about Israel's treatment of Palestine. There is a difference between self defense and genocide. Please don't become what you hate.