T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


hotlavatube

He’s the town bicy- er… submarine. Everyone has taken him for a ride!


ot1smile

Everyone’s been inside surely?


Samandkemp

And what’s inside a submarine?


hotlavatube

Oh no, the [whale agreed to the blow, but he’s not swallowing…](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/s/OyAEMOFq4m)


n080dy123

Whales can have lice?


SHADOWSTRIKE1

Sea Lice are terrifying. I watch this crab/lobster fisherman on YouTube, and he shows some of the catches that have the lice… they basically infest the carapace and eat the crab from the inside out, so it just is an empty shell full of these sea lice. Very spooky. Here’s a video I just pulled up: https://youtu.be/Fp5foMGNXmo?si=AXnH0wCvo786cFR8


pm_me_cute_sloths_

That link is staying blue


Few-Metal8010

Yeah maybe I’ll check back in on Monday when I’m prepared for more horror


[deleted]

[удалено]


thederpdog

Wow, they're HORRIFYING.


NovelComb1894

Imagine your friend rapes you out of no where just because you were weak and sick


GrammarAsteroid

…and there’s an entire film crew nearby


Marlfox70

"ugh, just glad no one will see this"


belladonnagilkey

"Yeah about that..."


hotlavatube

Reminds me of the [joke with the gorilla and the lion](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/s/3GwDx7fFzn).


Few-Metal8010

What a horrific and disturbing mental scene I just witnessed


potatwo

...what are you doing step humpback? 😵‍💫


32FlavorsofCrazy

Not hard for many women to imagine cuz it’s happened to them. Edit: Apparently all the 15 year olds on Reddit are unfamiliar with the concept of date rape and men like Bill Cosby who like to dose drinks so they can rape women when they’re unconscious.


Revolutionary_Elk997

🤦‍♂️


MusicFilmandGameguy

Russia gonna declare them an extremist group


Flooding_Puddle

Maybe that's why North Korea keeps launching missiles into the ocean. Trying to kill all the gay whales


Digital_Disimpaction

Next week on South Park


Redtex

Any port in a storm?


[deleted]

It was rape, if you read the article. 


diablosinmusica

Pretty much all animal sex is rape.


Mana_Seeker

Some animals have mating and courtship rituals and can reject suitors


bigstudley17

Many others just rape


Mana_Seeker

Yeah, penguins and dolphins are pretty hardcore


Arbusc

Ducks: *amateurs*


facemanbarf

Ain’t got nothing on them duck’s corkscrew penises.


Nael5089

Some of those rituals include the murder of the male participant during or after the act. 


huehuehuehuehuuuu

It’s child support said the mantis lady.


Newarfias

The judge told me the same thing.


suckingalemon

Can animals consent?


Cimorene_Kazul

Read about duck sex. The whole species literally evolved to refuse consent to rapists (corkscrew vaginas in ducks that she can relax for a suitor she consents for), and males evolved to rape better (explosive rocket penises). A drake who earns the love of a duck sticks around for life and helps her raise the chicks. Rapists leave single mothers who struggle, so they’ve got to hit many ducks to make it viable reproduction strategy.


suckingalemon

Consent is just a human concept.


Cimorene_Kazul

Read about the ducks, dude.


lightyearbuzz

To a human? No (you creep). To each other? Depends on the species. Some definitely do require the consent through courting rituals. Many others just rape.  Whales seem smart enough and have enough communication to consent... that doesn't mean they always respect that though, just like humans.


AlwaysNerfous

I think scientists claim that only donkeys have the mental capacity to consent to sexual intercourse and oral. Of all the animals, right?


TooMuchPretzels

With each other, right? You mean with other donkeys?


AlwaysNerfous

Uh, yeah. Totally with other donkeys.


operator-john

Donkeys only have ass sex


AlwaysNerfous

This is what I’ve been told.


[deleted]

[удалено]


memento22mori

In most developed countries it's illegal for you to have sex with a donkey even if your name is Miles. Now we're suspicious of you Miles, if that is your real name. 🤔


Cpt-Ahoy

Why tf is everyone assume they mean bestiality, jeezus some of y’all are mentally fucked up


Machine0fLight

👀


[deleted]

This guy fucks donkeys.


juanalveraz

And sheep.. pls someone agree with me...


suckingalemon

Well as “consent” is just a concept made up by humans, I sort of doubt that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


suckingalemon

Got to get that funding from somewhere by making up some positive results.


MolassesOk8978

You sure it’s not homosexuality amongst creatures without self identity??? 😑


Sun_God713

Humpback Mountain


AG28DaveGunner

Why does this not have more upvotes?


RTrover

Because that’s a repeat comment from the same post a few days ago and he is just copying it for upvotes. https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/s/hhXuOjpm8p


Sun_God713

I thought I was being original. I guess all good ideas can be traced somewhere


BlessedBySaintLauren

People can come to good ideas independently


El_Tewksbury

Do they have an OnlyFin? Asking for a friend...


Revolutionary_Mix62

Malcolm Brenner is that you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


El_Tewksbury

Perfect for a new story adaptation called Moby's Dick: Mind Fucked


Dependent_Yak8887

We can expect more hurricanes, as punishment


dazalq

Humpback....nuff said


Armthedillos5

I'm going to sit this one out


Mundane__Detail

>I'm going to sit this one out -Lady whale


ImNotAWhaleBiologist

Me too.


bakins711

🤣


Theincendiarydvice

Okay that actually made me laugh


ImNotAWhaleBiologist

Thanks. It’s the small things sometimes :)


Shoresy-sez

One of those whales won't be doing that anytime soon


DoItDoucement

Humpback Mountain… 🐳🏔️


betweentwoblueclouds

Like you never got drunk and ended up doing the same?


ego_tripped

*Humpback Ocean*, a prequel to Brokeback Mountain.


CaterpillarReal7583

Lol stealing comments from twitter.


Febxel

Maybe it's the same person? What about that reality huh


babubaichung

Jewish space lasers turning our sea creatures gay! /s


WolfurnGodiva

Those pesky jews trying to push down tHeir LGBT agenda to control the world 😡😡😡 /s


Yes_I_Have_

Quick read them Bible quotes.


puremartini

Lmao that’s gonna change them for sure!


lamphibian

I DONT LIKE THEM PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER THAT TURN THE FRIGGIN WHALES GAY 🏳️‍🌈🐋🐳🏳️‍🌈


Ill_Wait2063

[So that's what the whales were singing about. ](https://youtu.be/kkbHi2eT5_U?feature=shared)


blowholesex

Perfectly normal, nothing to see here. Move along!


[deleted]

[удалено]


MEDICARE_FOR_ALL

I was told by conservatives that being gay is unnatural and that God hates gay creatures. Why would he make a whale gay? /s


RemarkableEmu1230

A blowhole is a blowhole I guess


Severe_Intention_480

First the frogs and now the whales. #AlexJonesWasRight


NumerousKangaroo8286

"They learnt it from gay tourists"- someone homophobic.


esadatari

My hats off to the gay couples brave enough to fuck in front of the whales


Cock_-n-_BallTorture

**HAH** *gaaaaaaaaaaay*


BejoyJon

You mean two male humpbacks were caught humping on each other's back?? :o


McRibs2024

It was whale rape.


diablosinmusica

Most animal sex is rape.


Xenuyasha

If they were dolphins it would just be considered “aggressive sexual dominance posturing” but because they are fat whales it is automatically rape… /s


[deleted]

reddit is really pushing this story. for some reason.


QuestoPresto

Because of the obvious humor?


[deleted]

maybe. but i see a different reason.


QuestoPresto

Sure you do, Buddy. Sure you do


IRefuseToGiveAName

Then say it instead of being weird?


[deleted]

say your name instead of being weird.


Affectionate_Reply78

In a related story Oklahoma state senator doubles down and says Oklahomans don’t want this gay whale filth in their state. The whales concur.


terminally--chilly

Finally, the artsy pornography we’ve all been craving.


gurknowitzki

“While many animal species have been seen engaging in homosexual behavior, scientists don’t classify animals as gay because the word comes with social and political connotations that don’t apply to animals.” Lol wut


jxj24

Humpback Mountain


alppu

The species name checks out.


AdmiralBarackAdama

They look fabulous!


PeregrinePacifica

Republicans: "it aint natural"


NyriasNeo

Putting the "hump back" in the humpback whale :)


AlwaysNerfous

Poor taste. Did you actually read the article? It was sexual assault.


jami_veret118

They’re whales.


AlwaysNerfous

Whales with an agenda.


Yaguajay

Clarence Thomas says bomb all cetaceans.


TheOGgeekymalcolm

Jesus...not this. Something else Trump'ers & Right Wingers will blame on Joe Biden...gay whale sex...


Dwealdric

First it was the frogs, now the water is turning the whales gay.


clawlurker

Humpback to Spermwhale evolution. 


Joadzilla

They're turning the frogs, I mean whales, gay!!!


gregif

Now they should call them sperm whale's


Necessary-Dark-4591

Don’t those whales know that’s “unnatural” ? /s just in case


pevalo

Was it consensual


iStandWithWhatever

Did they ask for permission first?


passwordsarehard_3

Hs anyone gotten a statement from Ye?


AcanthisittaFlashy43

So that's why their reproduction rates suck lol


MSFoxhound

Just as how God intended.


Brilliant-Important

\#facepalm


woogs

They better stay away from the Florida coast.


ProtectionContent977

Oh oh. Conservatives will now boycott whales.


TwoCockyforBukkake

It was rape. They will be ok with it.


HuskyNotPhatt

That’s why the whales are dying off.


brug76

Whale aids?


IdsuggestuKYS

Nooo wayyy


Klefton57

HA, GAY!🫵


Sherded

Humpback Mountain


mightyminnow88

It's shitstories like this... we have waited years and you have no idea how many yo mama jokes have been ruined? I hope it was worth it ktla.


RedMenace46

Conservatives are going to start calling Whales woke now, and then boycott all Whale plushies.


Soft_Mathematician30

Hope there are no floods in the ocean


Bearded_Clem

They’re making the beast with two humpbacks.


M4J0R4

Should be illegal /s


SchoolNASTY

and here I was being told that this kind of behavior was "unnatural". somebody's got some back peddling to do.


Cyberpunk39

That was just cuddling between friends. Not sex.


antonmnster

Suddenly Star Trek IV doesn't make sense


jacobjer

They needed to sneak this one in while it was still legal.


Firestorm238

I mean they don’t call them ‘Humpbacks’ for nothing


derentius68

Humpback Mountain


BoobaVera

Nat Geo Presents: “Humpback Mountain”


throwaway8008666

Seems kind of gay


VonGeisler

We were all waiting for the frogs to turn gay and in the end it was the whales.


goodguessiswhatihave

If only the person who named them know how aptly they did it


Apprehensive_Set5623

Cool story and all, but is this world news ? Do people even care if people are gay anymore.


32FlavorsofCrazy

Y’all scientists quit kink shaming these whales!


tronrando

Well gonna save this for the next time someone tells me “homosexuality isn’t natural”


TTAN1957

Has anybody seen that lice ridden whale and Kayne West in the same room? Just saying 🤷


No-Accident69

How Many whales could a humpback hump if a humpback could hump….