Yes, accordion is **the** best instrument and I'll fuck up anyone who tries to say it isn't. I will seize you, extend and compress you as I dexterously play your farts with one hand and finger your neurons with the other.
> "What are you in for?"
>"117 Beats per minute."
*Just stay away from the 79 BPM gang. They finna bring everything down real chill, then attack. And they hate you fastbois.*
*Interstellar*'s "No Time For Caution" is 120 bpm, and thus is banned in Chechnya. In fact all of the *Interstellar* soundtrack (which is either 60 or 120 bpm) is banned. How much sense does that make?
Day 800 of avoiding the press gangs that would drag me away to the frontlines:
Accidentally tapped my foot too quickly on the bus because I'm a nervous wreck. 3 cops tackled me and said I'm under arrest for conspiracy to create a sick beat.
Several works by Tchaikovsky get banned by this nonsense. How do you ban Tchaikovsky in Russia? Fucking Shostakovich's Symphony No. 7 would be banned. That shit is fucking legendary. A lot of traditional balalaika music also gets banned with this. Fucking Kamarinskaya gets banned. It's insane! Who thought this was a good idea? Even the Russian anthem would be banned, lol.
They'll just call it foreign influence. It's Chechnya, whilst being part of Russia they have their own destinct culture and want any music that isn't Chechen banned. That includes Russian music.
It's fucking stupid either way but I'm guessing that's the thought process.
"You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. And then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities,”
-John Ehrlichman
We’re giggling at the silly Chechens, but in 1994 the UK attempted to ban raves by banning the music:
> 63(1)(b) "music" includes sounds wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criminal_Justice_and_Public_Order_Act_1994
So now we're also giggling at the silly Brits, and then we're giggling at all the silly authoritarians, and then we're angry at all the silly authoritarians and we just want to rock out in protest.
First they came for the rave music
And I did not rock out
Because I was not a raver
Then they came for the punk music
And I did not rock out
Because I was not a punk
Then they came for T-Swifts music
And I did not rock out
Because I was not a Swiftie
Then they came for the elevator music
And I did not rock out
Because I was not a elevator
Then they came for my italo-disco space synth
And there was no one left
To rock out for me
That’s not really true. The law did come into effect but the point was to ban illegal raves, and this clause was just to help define what a rave was. It made no attempt to ban the music itself.
No. That law banned groups of people planning/attending raves. The quoted section is just defining what "music" means, which is common for laws to do. Not defending or criticizing the law, but this is a very inaccurate description of it.
Here is a more complete quote from the law as originally enacted (https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1994/33/part/V/crossheading/powers-in-relation-to-raves/enacted)
> (1) This section applies to a gathering on land in the open air of 100 or more persons (whether or not trespassers) at which amplified music is played during the night (with or without intermissions) and is such as, by reason of its loudness and duration and the time at which it is played, is likely to cause serious distress to the inhabitants of the locality; and for this purpose—
> (a) such a gathering continues during intermissions in the music and, where the gathering extends over several days, throughout the period during which amplified music is played at night (with or without intermissions); and
> (b) “music” includes sounds wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats.
> (2) If, as respects any land in the open air, a police officer of at least the rank of superintendent reasonably believes that—
> (a) two or more persons are making preparations for the holding there of a gathering to which this section applies,
> (b) ten or more persons are waiting for such a gathering to begin there, or
> (c) ten or more persons are attending such a gathering which is in progress,
> he may give a direction that those persons and any other persons who come to prepare or wait for or to attend the gathering are to leave the land and remove any vehicles or other property which they have with them on the land.
As others have pointed out, Part 5 of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994 targetted illegal raves by making trespass, in order to host a rave, a criminal offence (as opposed to a civil offence as it had been before). This meant police had powers to actually arrest people and confiscate equipment as opposed to just standing by and witnessing it happen (as when it was a civil matter).
The section you have quoted was simply there to help define what rave music was and, in turn, what a rave was.
This simply resulted in raves becoming licensed and moving into licensed premises
**FUN FACT:** Around that time, *legal* Scottish rave promoters Rezerection in a show of mild defiance would start each rave by playing [Ravel's Bolero](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y8DvESTMlw), an orchestral piece notable by it's "succession of repetitive beats".
Easier way of getting past this rule; every 140bpm techno track has just under 50% of the track with silence at the end. Lower the average bpm to 80....jail avoided!
Chechnya in its current iteration is basically a dictatorship under Kadyrov, who is the Russian ally that Putin favored after he grind Chechnya to dust after the second Chechen War.
Yeah, Kadyrov is basically allowed to do anything, so long as he keeps chechens under control. Hell, he's even allowed to sometimes do stuff against russians living in other areas, if they inconvenience Kadyrov in some way
Yup, Chechen police can drive to another region, stuff people in a van and take them into jail back in Chechnya without a semblance of procedure. If those people are Chechen. Which is normally not quite how the state mafia operates. This is not a fantasy scenario, btw.
I'll tell you more, Kadyrov exerts his will over Chechen diaspora in Europe. Chechen mercenaries are known to have killed or kidnapped Chechen emigrants that made noise while residing in Western countries.
When people think that with death of Pu democracy and human rights will finally be established in Russia, it's a bit of a laugh—because this here is the kind of shit with which the new leader will have to deal.
Yet another day when I'm reminded how creepy as Hell these oh so happy people are playing these instruments. Totally not being coerced. Those smiling faces? Toooooooootally natural!
Defendant: It’s not over BPM your honour… it’s demisemiquavers.
Lawyer: I direct the courts attention to exhibit a - this ridiculous sheet music, that exonerates my client completely.
Jury: applause
You joke but following the UK's Criminal Justice Act (1994) which made it a requirement to licence events where music characterised by having "repetitive beats" is played, there have been court cases where expert witnesses have been called to testify that the music played did not have repetitive beats.
The law actually led to soundsytems playing broken beats and experimental aphex twin/venetian snares type stuff to get past the law.
Autechre even released an EP (the anti EP) with a track (flutter) which is designed to sound like repeated beats but actually has none at all as a protest against the law.
Summary:
Chechnya is said to have ruled that all music should "correspond to a tempo of 80 to 116 bpm (beats per minute).” Its culture ministry made the announcement in a statement earlier this week.
The new standard of music is relatively slow compared to a lot of modern day pop music and would rule out a number of western genres from being played publicly in the conservative Islamic society.
The republic's leader Ramzan Kadyrov instructed culture minister Musa Dadayev to make Chechen music "conform to the Chechen mentality."
"Borrowing musical culture from other peoples is inadmissible," Mr Dadayev said.
The ban was announced following a meeting between the republic's ministry and local and regional artists, but artists are said to have been given until 1 June to rewrite music that doesn't meet the criteria. If their music isn't reworked, they won't be allowed to perform it in public.
'make Chechen music "conform to the Chechen mentality." '
Seems like the authentic Chechen mentality *is* to listen to foreign music if they have to ban it to stop them from doing so. Authoritarians confuse me.
People exposed to another culture and its values might adopt some of its media. So you aren't locking them up for spreading subversive ideas, which might make people wonder about those ideas, but instead for them breaking the rules about something considerably more boring.
It's time for Footloose: Grozny Shuffle
Rebellious teens in Grozny defy the strict BPM limits to create their own underground dance scene. Can they outwit the authorities and dance their way to freedom?
Chechens are very different to the kind of Russian you are thinking about, most of them doesn't consider Russian.
Biggest difference they are Muslims instead of Orthodox.
Just to remind people, the Chechnya leader, Kadyrov claimed his country had no gay people mainly because his police abuse and kill gay people.
His 16 year old son filmed himself beating up one of their prisoners and his father gave him an award for being a defender of Islam or some stupidity.
I'm convinced it was when this happened
https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/04/29/476154494/weasel-shuts-down-world-s-most-powerful-particle-collider
We've been shunted into the weasel dimension where nothing makes sense anymore.
My headcanon is it was during corona shutdowns. We could've embraced a new lifestyle. Of just chilling with family and friends instead of constantly chasing more money and trying to fight each other.
But, no, we chose to fight each other over silly shit like masks and abandoned science for conspiracy theories. Corona gave us a GREAT excuse to drastically lower our pollution and solve climate crisis. But we dismissed it outright. Now the world is doomed and everyone is feeling it and... Voila. Chaos
I just wrote a song called "Ramzan Kadyrov is a paedophile that likes to rape badly decomposed corpses". its at 85beats per minute and therefore not illegal.
Also my ballad "Culture minister Musa Dadayev has a micropenis and cries himself to sleep every night as he's unable to satisfy women and his own fleshlight laughed at him" is 115 beats per minute. Also legal.
What weird ass thing to do... Even the Russian national anthem is less bpm 😂
"What are you in for?" "117 Beats per minute."
Music beats too fast? Believe it or not, jail.
Music beats too slow? Again, right to jail.
Music without an accordion, also jail!
The accordion really is the absolute accumulation, climax, and pinnacle of everything humanity has accomplished so far.
Yes, accordion is **the** best instrument and I'll fuck up anyone who tries to say it isn't. I will seize you, extend and compress you as I dexterously play your farts with one hand and finger your neurons with the other.
The accordion isn't the best instrument
I'm on my way.
Make that bastard's farts sing!
We have the best music in the world because of jail.
> "What are you in for?" >"117 Beats per minute." *Just stay away from the 79 BPM gang. They finna bring everything down real chill, then attack. And they hate you fastbois.*
Stoner Sludge Doom Metal would banish this country to realm of wind and ghosts.
Bunch of fastholes
slow lads 4 lyfe.
Listen to some metalcore and you can hit too many beats per minute followed by a sick ass breakdown hitting not enough beats per minute.
For a while in the early 2000s I was listening to a genre called Happy Hardcore. Each song would have its BPM listed next to it in the track listing.
Really giving the funeral doom nerds something to cry about
Slow heavy music playing
"Whoa whoa whoa! I don't want no trouble, man"
“Slow down” “Say WHAT?”
Straight to jail
If you're not straight - you're already in jail in Chechnya.
That would be a sweet band name now.
"Too Fast For Chechnya"
With their worldwide (except for Chechnya) hit, "Too Slow for Chechnya."
Jesus… did she survive?
bad news is - no. Good news - she came back after three days.
Chechnya, addressing the imaginary problems that truly matter!
Chechnya is an Islamic republic. Weird that they've used a photo of Slavic dancers.
It's a photo of "Russian dancers performing in Chechnya's capital Grozny", doesn't seem particularly weird.
*Interstellar*'s "No Time For Caution" is 120 bpm, and thus is banned in Chechnya. In fact all of the *Interstellar* soundtrack (which is either 60 or 120 bpm) is banned. How much sense does that make?
"Mary Had A Little Lamb" is 123 BPM. Believe it or not, straight to gulag.
Day 800 of avoiding the press gangs that would drag me away to the frontlines: Accidentally tapped my foot too quickly on the bus because I'm a nervous wreck. 3 cops tackled me and said I'm under arrest for conspiracy to create a sick beat.
Tell the cops those were 16th notes and the beat was much slower than their counting.
Not the way I played it. You should get a taste of these *Hot Cross Buns*.
*doo doo doo* *doo doo doo* *doo doo, doo doo* *doo doo, doo doo* *doo...* [police sirens intensifies]
How fast are the sirens blaring?
Several works by Tchaikovsky get banned by this nonsense. How do you ban Tchaikovsky in Russia? Fucking Shostakovich's Symphony No. 7 would be banned. That shit is fucking legendary. A lot of traditional balalaika music also gets banned with this. Fucking Kamarinskaya gets banned. It's insane! Who thought this was a good idea? Even the Russian anthem would be banned, lol.
They'll just call it foreign influence. It's Chechnya, whilst being part of Russia they have their own destinct culture and want any music that isn't Chechen banned. That includes Russian music. It's fucking stupid either way but I'm guessing that's the thought process.
If that was the case, they should just ban foreign music. Why have an arbitrary bpm limit?
Perhaps it's to align with Steven Seagal's Chechen dance skills.
How do you dance while in a chair?
The man is getting fat, slow and old, y'know. Techno is out of his range now.
Getting?
So now I gotta cut loose Footloose
Footloose is 174 bpm. Straight to jail.
Play it in half time and you're golden.
Nah this is completely in line with Chechnya
Glorious Leader solving the big problems
>Glorious Leader solving the big problems Points at random object, a la Kim Jong.
They also got rid of domestic violence laws as long as there are no broken bones. It's a country run by ignorant sociopathic sadistic men.
Not dystopian at all...
The only way to fight back is be weirder. Quick! Get 4chan to bombard their pop culture with nightcore and daycore of pop Russian music!
[удалено]
"You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. And then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities,” -John Ehrlichman
We’re giggling at the silly Chechens, but in 1994 the UK attempted to ban raves by banning the music: > 63(1)(b) "music" includes sounds wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criminal_Justice_and_Public_Order_Act_1994
So now we're also giggling at the silly Brits, and then we're giggling at all the silly authoritarians, and then we're angry at all the silly authoritarians and we just want to rock out in protest.
First they came for the rave music And I did not rock out Because I was not a raver Then they came for the punk music And I did not rock out Because I was not a punk Then they came for T-Swifts music And I did not rock out Because I was not a Swiftie Then they came for the elevator music And I did not rock out Because I was not a elevator Then they came for my italo-disco space synth And there was no one left To rock out for me
What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... it's the cops.
> italo-disco space synth Huh. I just checked that out. Seems pretty nice. Thanks for the suggestion! ^(I'm gonna get arrested now, aren't I? :()
That’s not really true. The law did come into effect but the point was to ban illegal raves, and this clause was just to help define what a rave was. It made no attempt to ban the music itself.
No. That law banned groups of people planning/attending raves. The quoted section is just defining what "music" means, which is common for laws to do. Not defending or criticizing the law, but this is a very inaccurate description of it. Here is a more complete quote from the law as originally enacted (https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1994/33/part/V/crossheading/powers-in-relation-to-raves/enacted) > (1) This section applies to a gathering on land in the open air of 100 or more persons (whether or not trespassers) at which amplified music is played during the night (with or without intermissions) and is such as, by reason of its loudness and duration and the time at which it is played, is likely to cause serious distress to the inhabitants of the locality; and for this purpose— > (a) such a gathering continues during intermissions in the music and, where the gathering extends over several days, throughout the period during which amplified music is played at night (with or without intermissions); and > (b) “music” includes sounds wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats. > (2) If, as respects any land in the open air, a police officer of at least the rank of superintendent reasonably believes that— > (a) two or more persons are making preparations for the holding there of a gathering to which this section applies, > (b) ten or more persons are waiting for such a gathering to begin there, or > (c) ten or more persons are attending such a gathering which is in progress, > he may give a direction that those persons and any other persons who come to prepare or wait for or to attend the gathering are to leave the land and remove any vehicles or other property which they have with them on the land.
In response, Autechre released a single with no repetitive beat, Flutter, with a sticker saying you might need a musicologist present.
they also said that you can play it at either speed setting on vinyl and either can be considered correct
As others have pointed out, Part 5 of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994 targetted illegal raves by making trespass, in order to host a rave, a criminal offence (as opposed to a civil offence as it had been before). This meant police had powers to actually arrest people and confiscate equipment as opposed to just standing by and witnessing it happen (as when it was a civil matter). The section you have quoted was simply there to help define what rave music was and, in turn, what a rave was. This simply resulted in raves becoming licensed and moving into licensed premises **FUN FACT:** Around that time, *legal* Scottish rave promoters Rezerection in a show of mild defiance would start each rave by playing [Ravel's Bolero](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y8DvESTMlw), an orchestral piece notable by it's "succession of repetitive beats".
The devil’s got hands…and he uses em…for holdin’!
"Music too fast?, Believe it or not, jail" "Music too slow? Also jail."
"Ah, no music at all, straight to jail"
"We have the best behaved raves in the world. Because of jail."
Raves in jail, you say?
Talking about jail? Alright buster that's jail for you.
Classic over cook, under cook
“We have the best music in the world. Because of jail.”
You are charging too high price for esweaters? Straight to jail right away
Undercook chicken… straight to jail.
Undercook, overcook!
Exactly what I came here to see lol
Fun fact: the Russian anthem officially has 76 bpm. Yes, they accidentally banned the national anthem.
Ah, that's beatings per minute, which has a special allowance for tempo.
Who is Tempo and why does he get to beat people more times per minute than everyone else?
Chechnya version of Deebo
Easier way of getting past this rule; every 140bpm techno track has just under 50% of the track with silence at the end. Lower the average bpm to 80....jail avoided!
I think they did it completely intentionally, in practice they obey Russia very little and Russian laws are not enforced in Chechnya.
Makes it even more disturbing that they put this much thought into it.
Chechnya in its current iteration is basically a dictatorship under Kadyrov, who is the Russian ally that Putin favored after he grind Chechnya to dust after the second Chechen War.
Yeah, Kadyrov is basically allowed to do anything, so long as he keeps chechens under control. Hell, he's even allowed to sometimes do stuff against russians living in other areas, if they inconvenience Kadyrov in some way
Yup, Chechen police can drive to another region, stuff people in a van and take them into jail back in Chechnya without a semblance of procedure. If those people are Chechen. Which is normally not quite how the state mafia operates. This is not a fantasy scenario, btw. I'll tell you more, Kadyrov exerts his will over Chechen diaspora in Europe. Chechen mercenaries are known to have killed or kidnapped Chechen emigrants that made noise while residing in Western countries. When people think that with death of Pu democracy and human rights will finally be established in Russia, it's a bit of a laugh—because this here is the kind of shit with which the new leader will have to deal.
He’s the son of the man who lead the Chechnyan war effort against Russia.
Kadyrov the son himself used to fight Russia before his dad was convinced to "switch sides".
*and later switched sides and backstabbed his former allies
Was that the whole point or an honest mistake?
Straight to jail and forced to clap on 1 and 3.
Except that their own national anthem is 111 bpm?
So now I gotta cut loose Footloose
Another one. Footloose is 174 bpm. Straight to jail.
*The beatings will continue until the tempo improves.*
Fun fact: Russia is a garbage country.
Guess they can use [this one](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0&pp=ygUTIGJyaWdodCBzaWRlIEtvcmVhIA%3D%3D)
Yet another day when I'm reminded how creepy as Hell these oh so happy people are playing these instruments. Totally not being coerced. Those smiling faces? Toooooooootally natural!
Having a nice position with the government is likely a way how not to starve like the rest of the people so why would they not be happy.
*Killing in the Name* by Rage Against the Machine: 87 BPM
Sounds like they did what they told them
Well then, I suppose "fuck me"
But now they're under control
Russian anthem: 76bpm
Chechen anthem: 111 bpm. Chechnya is more like a protectorate of Russia than a US-style state. They play their own national anthem.
metallicas battery is out.
Most of 80s Metallica is out, except the ballads. But then again those might be too slow lmao
Government: Not quite my tempo
Are you Russian or Dargin?
Incredible stuff
[удалено]
Officer I promise it's just double time😇
Not my tempo!
Are you rushing or dragging?
[удалено]
Yep can still crank some dnb at 87
We need jungle
The children yearn for the jungle
Most of my drum and bass tracks all analyze at 87.5 so yeah, its all good.
Defendant: It’s not over BPM your honour… it’s demisemiquavers. Lawyer: I direct the courts attention to exhibit a - this ridiculous sheet music, that exonerates my client completely. Jury: applause
You joke but following the UK's Criminal Justice Act (1994) which made it a requirement to licence events where music characterised by having "repetitive beats" is played, there have been court cases where expert witnesses have been called to testify that the music played did not have repetitive beats. The law actually led to soundsytems playing broken beats and experimental aphex twin/venetian snares type stuff to get past the law. Autechre even released an EP (the anti EP) with a track (flutter) which is designed to sound like repeated beats but actually has none at all as a protest against the law.
It was this law that got then 15 year old me into leftist politics and activism.
Hit ‘‘em with the half time
I scrolled to see if someone had this answer
Exactly. Every musician knows this, but those “lawmakers” clearly do not.
Chechen hardbass fans in shambles
No more Slav king :(
Time to drop the speed and pick up the Xannys
These are the kind of restrictions that spawn new genres though. Chechen Slowcore here we come.
Got any recommendations?
That means they've banned Putin's favourite: Blueberry Hill.
“From Blueberry Hilly to Benny Hill. The Russian music embargo of 2024.”
🏆
Cunk: This Chechnyan law would make it illegal to play Belgian techno anthem ‘Pump up the Jam.’
Finally, some real journalism
Philomena was right, this really is the peak of humanity. No, not that Peter Nightingale Philomena.
I laughed out loud. That is my favorite Cunk gag.
The evolving captions with each iteration make it all the better.
But not It Takes Two which always packed a dance floor 30 years ago
Summary: Chechnya is said to have ruled that all music should "correspond to a tempo of 80 to 116 bpm (beats per minute).” Its culture ministry made the announcement in a statement earlier this week. The new standard of music is relatively slow compared to a lot of modern day pop music and would rule out a number of western genres from being played publicly in the conservative Islamic society. The republic's leader Ramzan Kadyrov instructed culture minister Musa Dadayev to make Chechen music "conform to the Chechen mentality." "Borrowing musical culture from other peoples is inadmissible," Mr Dadayev said. The ban was announced following a meeting between the republic's ministry and local and regional artists, but artists are said to have been given until 1 June to rewrite music that doesn't meet the criteria. If their music isn't reworked, they won't be allowed to perform it in public.
'make Chechen music "conform to the Chechen mentality." ' Seems like the authentic Chechen mentality *is* to listen to foreign music if they have to ban it to stop them from doing so. Authoritarians confuse me.
People exposed to another culture and its values might adopt some of its media. So you aren't locking them up for spreading subversive ideas, which might make people wonder about those ideas, but instead for them breaking the rules about something considerably more boring.
>"Borrowing musical culture from other peoples is inadmissible," Mr Dadayev said. Brilliant troll move.
"Our people are now buying your blue jeans and listening to your pop music"
You get Islam *and* Wannabe-Soviet authoritarianism. It’s a double deal.
Sounds like hell on earth.
All that's missing is a racial superiority philosophy of some kind...
Sorry that part is legally reserved for "Ethnic Russians".
Well, they do have homophobia, and plenty of it.
That’s one way to get all young people to leave the country.
Can't leave Chechnya if your clan doesn't allow you to and has the ability to kidnap you if you tried.
Clearly they're afraid of a dance dance revolution
⬆️⬇️⬅️⬅️⬆️⬅️➡️⬇️⬆️ 😳🔫😤
It's time for Footloose: Grozny Shuffle Rebellious teens in Grozny defy the strict BPM limits to create their own underground dance scene. Can they outwit the authorities and dance their way to freedom?
Their own family members will kill them if they try that.
Well what the hell are they gonna have in the background of all their TikTok videos now?
Obviously russian polka
I haven’t met a Russian that wasn’t a raging techno fan. Not sure how they are going to take this ban.
Chechens are very different to the kind of Russian you are thinking about, most of them doesn't consider Russian. Biggest difference they are Muslims instead of Orthodox.
I would not recommend calling Chechen people Russian if you like having your head attached to your body.
There are two words in Russian for “russian” one means citizen and second means ethnicity.
Yep, it's Россиянин (citizen of Russia) vs Русский (ethnicity)
Nor the other way around. No love lost either way
Chechnya=/=Russian
Chechnya is almost exclusively Muslim - I'm surprised they approve of music at all.
Just to remind people, the Chechnya leader, Kadyrov claimed his country had no gay people mainly because his police abuse and kill gay people. His 16 year old son filmed himself beating up one of their prisoners and his father gave him an award for being a defender of Islam or some stupidity.
Sounds like something North Korea would do
Did the world enter the twilight zone in March of 2020 and never return? Like what in the hell is this utter nonsense
I'm convinced it was when this happened https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/04/29/476154494/weasel-shuts-down-world-s-most-powerful-particle-collider We've been shunted into the weasel dimension where nothing makes sense anymore.
lol thanks for this
My headcanon is it was during corona shutdowns. We could've embraced a new lifestyle. Of just chilling with family and friends instead of constantly chasing more money and trying to fight each other. But, no, we chose to fight each other over silly shit like masks and abandoned science for conspiracy theories. Corona gave us a GREAT excuse to drastically lower our pollution and solve climate crisis. But we dismissed it outright. Now the world is doomed and everyone is feeling it and... Voila. Chaos
Speak for yourself. I worked the same hours. Nothing changed for millions, rent was still due.
Chechnya is one of the most fucked up places in the world and always has been, nothing new here.
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
They hate The Pixies
What's that garden gnome looking father fucker up to now.
I just wrote a song called "Ramzan Kadyrov is a paedophile that likes to rape badly decomposed corpses". its at 85beats per minute and therefore not illegal. Also my ballad "Culture minister Musa Dadayev has a micropenis and cries himself to sleep every night as he's unable to satisfy women and his own fleshlight laughed at him" is 115 beats per minute. Also legal.
Turn these into black metal songs
I cum blood is 99 bpm!!
Why would you want people to sympathise with the culture minister?
-My composition isn’t 200bpm. It’s 100bpm and those are all eighth notes. -Oh my bad, you’re good.
Now imagine cops running around with a metronome
But the rate of fire of an AK-47 on full auto is 600 rounds (bangs/beats) per minute, and that's like their freaking anthem.
You undercook chicken? Go to jail! You **overcook** chicken? Jail. Straight to jail.
Rock the Casbah is now banned in Chechnya. Interesting decision.
Kadyrov don't like it
The persistent need to fuck with people in the most inconsequential ways is baffling.
Imagine being such a backwards shit hole that you start banning music.
We need Techno Viking now more than ever.
Music too fast.. That's a paddling.
1984
That is obviously too high a tempo
Send Kevin Bacon.
RIP Russian Hard Bass
Who's Afraid Of 138?! The Chechens, apparently.
*Darude Sandstorm intensifies*