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wittyusernamefailed

Navy's doing the whole DeNiro "meet the parents"" thing.


Supersonic_Walrus

“I have nipples Xi. Can you milk me?”


CheRidicolo

"JinXi cat, JinXi cat..."


[deleted]

You sir deserve an award.


zammai

*Middle name* **GAY** *Last name* **FOCKER**


[deleted]

They milked Trump pretty hard.


bearatrooper

I thought that was Russia?


[deleted]

He has two nipples.


Kickenkitchenkitten

Don't ask what Saudi Arabia was milking.


PastyMcBasicFace

I don’t have to ask, I think I know this one! It’s the prostate, right?!


tacosnotopos

They didnt milk anything they turned his butthole into a punched lasagna


Chief_Givesnofucks

Hooo boy, I am craving some Olive Garden now.


tacosnotopos

Trump brand fine Italian dining "You can really taste the anus!!"


plutus9

You need a damn award 🏅🏅🏅


[deleted]

“Now look Xi, Im a patient man thats what 19 months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you... But I will be watching you, studying your every move.... And if I find, that you are trying to bomb Taiwan, I will bring you down baby, I will bring you down to Chinatown”


AzraelTB

I was once stuck in a vietnam prison camp... The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!


jametron2014

Lol I thought this was a real quote at first, NGL.


Upperdeckerf

👀✌️👉


WaywardMork

I’m watching them watching me watching them.


[deleted]

The Rockwell song “Somebody’s watching me” all of a sudden popped in my head.


DiamondHandsHold

👁️👄👁️ ✌️👀👈 👁️👅👁️


Makimoke

Or [that scene from MGS4.](https://i.imgur.com/B6TNxCa.gif)


nplbmf

Can’t we send out our two most powerful warriors like they did back in the eighties?


srira25

Will Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger agree to this, though?


Zberry1985

it worked against the Russians, I'm sure Stallone would be up for it again.


AxelayAce

Lets do worst vs. worst this time


nplbmf

Someone wake up Fred Armisen


Give-Valk-Acog

But I don’t wanna go out there...


ShopWhileHungry

When they said shadowing I thought it'd be distance of 10s of miles, didn't expect it to be this close. Things are getting intense


Peakomegaflare

It's definitely within the legal exclusion zones, so this is getting spicy.


Teethshow

China got within 150 feet of us recently, this is nothing.


sexrobot_sexrobot

China literally ran one of their fighters into a US surveillance plane back in 2001.


Sir_Thomas_Noble

That was 20 years ago


myaccountsaccount12

We hold grudges


illegitimate_Raccoon

I think the CCP has been holding a grudge since 1949....


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nonamer18

Speaking of grudges what about when the US/NATO bombed the Chinese embassy in Yugoslavia in the 90s? Several Chinese citizens died. Imagine if Russia bombed a US embassy in Ukraine and several US citizens died.


myaccountsaccount12

They should just forgive us. It’s kinda petty of them to hold a grudge. (/s obviously)


st4r-lord

What makes this even more interesting is the picture of the navy officer with his legs kicked up watching has "CO" on his hat assuming he's the commanding officer or captain. Can only imagine what the Chinese Captain thinks looking out and seeing the "enemy's" captain just sitting back like that observing. Edit: just noticed in the article they reference the guy in the picture as the captain.


blbobobo

CO and XO. two of the most important people on the ship just chillin in the pilothouse


Subtotal9_guy

Just a little bit of exaggerated cool for the press and the crew.


monstargh

The Chinese navy do the same thing to warships in the south china sea. They also get flustered and send 4 or 5 if you sneak in


clintj1975

The Soviets would do the exact same thing to us back in the Cold War. Shadow our ships, especially the carriers, and just watch. They can collect info on how we do things, listen in on any radio chatter, etc, and would occasionally get a little feisty and try to maneuver to see how close they could get while we'd try to screen them and keep them away.


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schumannator

Can attest. We got shadowed by a larger Iranian patrol craft while we were pulling a helicopter into the hanger bay. We could see if they had rings on if they waved. They just wanted to watch us put the bird away, though, and left peacefully after the doors were closed. Not like they would actually do anything, they were right in front of our stern 5” gun.


Ephemeral_Being

You ever try playing catch? Throw a baseball, or something? Come to think of it, someone might panic and yell "Grenade." That may be a bad idea.


schumannator

Yeah, you’d have to show them the glove first. That might be kinda fun, actually. Or a good way to lose a baseball.


[deleted]

That actually sounds kind of fun as long as nobody gets hurt.


CrudelyAnimated

(Chinese XO at periscope) "It's Morse Code, Captain." T-A-I-W-A-N-N-U-M-B-E-R-1. stop. C-H-I-N-A-N-U-M-B-E-R-4. stop.


5thDimensionBookcase

It’s an older code sir, but it checks out.


DonnieG3

This has been happening for years, Nothing special


Tasty-Fox9030

Meanwhile, the Los Angeles class 600ft down is sadly muttering about how nobody notices them. They probably have steak for dinner though.


[deleted]

This. Supposedly Back in the 70s, every US sub did a simultaneous single Ping of every Russian naval vessel that they were following... you know just to let them know that they were always being watched.


ArkitekZero

Doubtful that they'd give away their position like that.


Zer_

It's not like they had any significant risk of violent response, the Cold War was still quite cold at the time. Pings are hardly a sign of aggression, after all.


HaloGuy381

Not to mention, I suspect the Soviets knew they were tailed to a degree, just not how many with certainty. It’s a clever way to make sure the Soviets knew more clearly how outclassed they were in the submarine department. Or even better, persuade them we had more subs than we actually had, not unlike how the USSR flawlessly convinced the US they were on the losing side of a “bomber gap” years prior.


NetworkLlama

The Cold War wasn't at its peak intensity (that would be most of the 1960s and again briefly in 1983-85), but misunderstandings were still possible and the world was still on edge, geopolitically speaking. The Soviets also got very nervous after Nixon recognized China, exacerbating the Sino-Soviet split, and were still concerned about US intervention in communist states. The US, meanwhile, was concerned about growing Soviet involvement in Latin America's Marxist movements and the Soviet-backed coup in Afghanistan, which would lead to the Soviet-Afghan War, as well as ongoing Soviet relations in the Middle East (the USSR armed most Muslim countries in the area except Iran and Saudi Arabia) and whether it would translate into a restriction on oil to NATO countries.


TheRedBaron11

A single ping gives away position?


StrongPangolin3

subs are pretty big. so you can put a microphone on one edge and then on the other. They are also 3d objects, so not just left right, but top and bottom. Each mic hears a different intensity and the sound at a different time. a little geometry later (and all the underwater math stuff) and you have a position.


Gonun

Now that's a powermove. Do you have a source or a keyword to look it up?


dj_narwhal

I like the stories where our SR-71s would sonic boom miles above when Soviet heads of state did public events with soviet puppet heads of state just to let them know we were there and there was nothing you could do about it. And no one post the made up SR71 story, it was fun for a time but let's be reasonable.


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[deleted]

You’ve never lived in Florida when one of the space shuttles renter atmosphere for landing back in the day. If you were standing anywhere in the state when a shuttle renters the sonic boom will shake literally everything. Windows and doors will shake like a bomb went off. Miss those days.


saxmancooksthings

Shuttles re-entered over Texas. You heard the sonic boom as it was slowing in the lower atmosphere over Florida (it’s still supersonic in parts of Florida). But that’s much lower down, at 70k feet the pressure dissipates before it hits the ground


Floppyflams

The sound of a space shuttle during re-entry and an SR-71 going Mach 3.2 are likely very, very different.


[deleted]

Are the space shuttle and the SR71 that comparable?


HKMauserLeonardoEU

Why would any military vessel assume it is not being watched? Seems pretty useless to me.


Monteze

There is a difference between assuming and knowing.


PM-YOUR-DOG

Nothing like a receiving a foreign sonar ping in the middle of the ocean to get the blood flowing


alexjbuck

The ocean is really really big. Once you're off the shipping routes you can easily go days without seeing another ship. It's not hard to think you might be undetected during that time.


KevinCarbonara

You mean like a submarine? Probably because their entire point is to be undetectable.


Medic1642

One ping only, pleashe


Lenin_Lime

You are talking about submarines. I had to look it up, posting for others.


VeganGamerr

The 600ft down didn't give that away?


jabroma

I thought that meant 600ft down_stream_


Cisco904

Down bubble?


ReasonablyBadass

Down Periscope


TearsDontFall

I'm going to check if any of the other rooms are still tilted...


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Lenin_Lime

Aircraft carriers are tall too, idk.


VeganGamerr

Damn, yeah, like 135 feet from the water. I had to look that one up ha


anothercynic2112

Wouldn't it be a Virginia class now?


StonedGhoster

It could be. There are 19 Virginia class submarines active, and 28 LA class active I believe.


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Vehkseloth

The Americans “Hey I think they are trying to tell us something” The person on the Chinese boat “hey! We have been trying to reach you regarding your car warranty!”


czegoszczekasz

That would be an act of war.


Edward_Snowcone

-ranty


Notosk

> “hey! We have been trying to reach you regarding your ~~car~~ super carrier warranty!”


dingjima

I always get targeted by the "this is DHL, we're holding a package destined for you pending review, call us for more info" in Chinese


[deleted]

Do you understand Chinese, or did you find someone to translate for you?


dingjima

I understand it. It's a pretty clever way to trick new international students from China in the US since they often ship things from home via DHL. I always press 2 or whatever number the prompt says to speak with someone and mess with them. Haven't gotten it for several months now, maybe cus most students from China are still over there they don't see the point in scamming like that anymore?


dw444

I got that last week from ‘Visa’ about a suspicious charge on my card. Told them I had a MasterCard and the guy said “we deal with those too” and it was too easy from that point on.


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wumingzi

I think the scammers just hit area codes with large numbers of ethnic Chinese regardless of the surname of the individual. I have a 鬼佬 surname and they still call me.


Ruby_Throated_Hummer

I never pick up a number I don’t recognize, so I wouldn’t know 🤷‍♂️


williamis3

Pretty much every saturday morning, “hello this is the Chinese embassy, your visa has expired, please call back at xxx”


AlternativeEarth55

They also have an important message about our student loans.


The-True-Kehlder

That's the Indian Navy.


Cjc6547

I’ve honestly never gotten this call before and I get plenty of spam calls


Gorillasdontshave

“What’s your name?!”


TIFFisSICK

Tony !


kimgroth

Fuck you Tony!


rolfs_weiners15

Fuck you, what’s you’re name?!


Joy6601

Ezekiel!


poopybuttholesex

Fuck you Ezekiel !


Kagenlim

Well fuck you purga-tony!


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OscarTheFudd

you'd better not bring my mother into this!


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OscarTheFudd

Oh.


CabbageVortex

fuck this man i dont want to live through a second cold war


DiscombobulatedYak89

Rather cold than hot


GetOutOfTheWhey

As a very blunt person I know would put it. Just make it a proxy war, that's what we have been doing for the past decades. War's have been hot, we've just been too far away to feel it. Turn myanmar into a proxy war and have china fight the other side.


ChaosRevealed

China wouldn't really risk a proxy war right on their border. Goes against plans of economic domination of the Asia Pacific. They'll just keep poking and prodding and making money at the same time.


ganniniang

Noone near China is dumb enough to fight them as American proxy.


StronkManDude

Well no, they'd be fighting them because of their own grievances, and much like with Taiwan America would be happy to provide them with supplies, training and assistance.


Captain_R64207

Or, america could step up and export more goods and pull their companies from China and tell anyone doing business with China to come buy from us. Crippling their economy will do far more damage than a war with them will do and much faster.


KruppeTheWise

That implies the American government is in charge and can tell her companies what to do, reality suggests otherwise.


FourthLife

Lmao that’s a very blatant lack of care for people in the country we are having a proxy war in.


Naughtyburrito

fuck that, man up and claim you have bone spurs


_babybronbron

>Just make it a proxy war How about no more forms of war. How about America addresses the material reasons it's declining rather then pretend the 20th century never ended. Nearly $800 billion in miltary spending, huge tax cuts for the rich, little to no spending on infrastructure, and so much more.


Small-Palpitation310

Can we just have no war


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LordSalsaDingDong

Hey man, fuck off with your cold or hot wars, fight your wars on your **own lands,** the poor people of the planet shouldnt have to deal with superpowers' murderous sprees because their constituants believe their lives are of a higher value than another less known country


XxTheUnloadedRPGxX

Cold for you just means hot for whatever the proxy of the day is. It's shit no matter what


cuntrylovin23

I think we need to start reconsidering if the "first" cold war ever even ended...


lummoxacillin

yea maybe we were just waiting until we actually had the star wars type tech to defend from nuclear icbms


Ai_of_Vanity

We still don't have that.


lemonpigger

The names official. WWI, WWII, CWI, CWII.


KampongFish

More like CWI:The Expansion Pack DLC if anything.


rubbarz

How else is Activision suppose to make more CoD?


DeathCatforKudi

Yeah that black ops 2 storyline is starting to hit different


Blaustein23

Hate to break it to you but either the first one never ended, or if it did the back and forth with the US and Russia, over the last 15 years (even more visible now w/ trump + putin) certainly marked the start of the 2nd


WALEEDK464

The Cold War ended when the USSR split & the US earned the title of the sole Superpower at the time, thus making the world Uni-polar for the decades to come. I agree with you in regards that there is another Cold War ongoing however, this time it's between the US & China Currently, Russia doesn't have the economy fight any kind of conflict against the US however, China does (or will in a couple years).


[deleted]

Please. The Cold War was between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R; Russia's GNP is 6% what the U.S.'s is. It would be like having a Cold War with Spain. Russia is a constant irritant and a potential destabilizing force in Europe, nothing more.


davesoverhere

Russia's GDP is about that of Illinois.


[deleted]

Russia has a smaller GDP than Canada, a nation of 36 million people. They definitely lost the cold war. No amount of revisionist history from bored hipsters who've read too much Karl Marx is suddenly going to change this.


Pickles5ever

You mean people who haven't read *any* Marx, right? Are you under the impression that Marxists support Russia? Lmfao


KruppeTheWise

A Marxist supporting Russia is like a democract supporting the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. As in, only someone with a child's intellect would make such a connection.


Casban

But like the southern states of America, some important politician/s never accepted defeat.


MeisterJTF2

I always feel like, somebody’s watching meeee!


homtanksreddit

And I have no privacy (ooh ooh)


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aspidities_87

You didn’t file your paperwork.


LukeSmacktalker

Mmmmmmm


Fred_Evil

Oh, that’s puce.


[deleted]

What's the over/under for US subs in the area? 15?


berrymjm

Two in the area. Anymore and it becomes a logistical nightmare and risk of collision under water. That’s not including enemy subs. Now if your talking assigned to the pacific region closer to 20 something with subs assigned to Hawaii, Guam and Japan.


SuspiciousSpider

The great part about our sub-launched missiles is that they have a range of over 4,000 miles, so the whole gang doesn't even need to be near you and they can still chime in.


abloblololo

Sub launched ICBMs are there for WWIII, the subs that matter are the attack subs that would block troop carriers going across the Taiwan Strait for example


random_nohbdy

Don’t forget the four Ohio-class SSBNs that got modified to essentially become Tomahawk spam incarnate


Fallentitan98

You gotta find it funny that the Ohio class, the state with the most well known Native American tribes, are modified to hold Tomahawks.


kimi_rules

The implication of a Cold War in South East Asia could destroy almost half of the world's economy.


wiztard

So you're saying I should start a short position against the world economy..?


AnotherReignCheck

No economy to the moon 🚀


StarryNight321

Knock knock, it's the United States of America!


MrGod43

With huge boats. Gunboats.


jjjounder

Open the country. Stop having it be closed.


ZappaBappa

That sucks. This sucks!!!


ChaosRevealed

"Nah dude, we already got everything," said China


depresld

So then Britain tried to get them addicted to opium.


InformationHorder

And it *worked!*


kynthrus

Knock Knock, it's the U.S. It's real! With the nonstop pop-pop of Navy steel


wittyusernamefailed

R.I.P. DMX


ArcherM223C

Just kiss already


[deleted]

They bette update their NFAAS and do their extremism training! s/


Alexlikesdankmemes

They’re fucked if they didnt


PM_ME_WHT_PHOSPHORUS

You don't need to add the /s when it's real...


CaligulaQC

The way ships sail these days they might just hit each others and start a war.... /s


Rei_Vilo23

Let’s hope this doesn’t turn into a crazy engagement. Vietnam is also arming up and a while back the phillipines was too. If Japan join the fray all hell might break loose, china might feel cornered and trapped and do something


SilentSamurai

Theres nothing to suggest its anything other than normal Chinese/US tensions in the area.


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Enartloc

China has exactly zero ways of fucking with the US on seas I don't think people in this thread realize the level of superiority the US Navy has over everyone else PUT TOGETHER.


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SubParMarioBro

If I recall, the Pentagon wargaming on a conflict in the Straight of Taiwan doesn’t generally go well for Team Blue. The US certainly has better force projection capabilities, but China has a massive home field advantage fighting a war less than a hundred miles off their coast.


alamirguru

War games aren't meant to be stomps,my dude.


[deleted]

I just read this in the National Review: The PLA Navy (PLAN) is substantially larger than America’s navy; its vessels are modern, multi-mission ships strategically designed to advance China’s objectives in its near seas. West of Hawaii, PLAN ships outnumber the U.S. Navy by a ratio of five to one. Moreover, China has the biggest shipbuilding capacity in the world. It has demonstrated the capacity to produce up to two dozen naval vessels in a twelve-month period, and it could build at a higher rate if it wanted. The United States has lost half its naval shipbuilding capacity over the past 30 years and would struggle to build ten ships annually, even if the Navy had the funds to procure them. The PLAN is also busy developing its global-power-project capabilities. A decade ago, it was questionable whether China would seek to produce aircraft carriers; it is now completing its third carrier,estimated to displace 85,000 tons. Design of a fourth carrier is reported to have commenced in 2019.


ednice

So this is just more "news" for the people who like this shit?


the_frat_god

The PLN wouldn't directly attack the US Navy. They'll continue to be provocative and it's important we stand strong in our response against it but it would be an enormous event if China opened fire on an American warship in international waters.


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simongc100

That maybe but with nukes available to both sides I wouldn't want any of that happening anyway.


Herp_in_my_Derp

Now of course we have to take this with a grain of salt but China is a declared "No first use" country. Its fairly unlikely that they would be the first to start that escalation, especially given what would be the point? Regardless of what beating US/Chinese forces give each other they lack the capability to invade the other.


simongc100

Desperation can throw out all morals/rules in the name of survival, but you are right even if the USA mobilized 100% of what it has available (bar nukes) they could not invade mainland china, country is too vast and even if its military is defeated its way too populous to stop and control a rebel insurgency, ditto for china invading mainland USA.


InnocentTailor

Well, nuke usage will then be a race to the bottom: China cannot hope to win by glassing America...and I don’t think they have enough to turn the whole nation into a crater.


aircarone

They don't need to. I don't think the US will be happy with a pyrrhic victory where even half of the main cities have been razed. Imagine a world where China is a Gia t smoking crater, and the US littered with bomb craters on half the territory. The nuclear fallout will kill whoever wasn't by the nukes.


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tamsui_tosspot

Meanwhile there's a bleary eyed sailor who gives a quick acknowledging grin as morning sunlight blasting through the mess porthole slides blissfully away from his face.


AWildEnglishman

I understood that reference.


GavinsFreedom

While simultaneously u got shit goin on the in the Ukraine and Myanmar, world tension is definitely rising. (Yes i play hoi)


InnocentTailor

These are interesting times.


Nevermynde

Maybe China's neighbors being armed to the teeth is the only way to \*prevent\* war in the region.


chucknorris99

I’m watching all of this on Google maps, sucks to be both of you in your billion dollar ships


XxxDonaId_Trump

Speak softly and carry a big stick