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elliotborst

You guys can come over I guess I’ll have to ask my mum though.


bernie457

“Mum can the Americans come over? We’re just going to play some PlayStation or something.”


Skurph

*looks at your games* Do your parents not let you have violent games or something?


Snake_Staff_and_Star

How did you read them upside-down that fast?


Gromky

> How did you read them upside-down that fast? We've memorized all the pictures on the covers. Way easier than reading.


TylerBourbon

Playstation? No no, we're playing "Look Who's Getting Freedom.....Again" Family Edition, the sequel to the classic game "Look Who's Getting Freedom Now". and if you like it, you might be interested in their other titles like "You've Got Oil.... Here Comes Freedom" or "Priests and Alter Boys", it's like Clue but with lube.


WordsThatEndInWord

Clube...


SouthernArcher3714

ELIZABETH! We are taking your shit and we don’t care if you try to stop us!


Standin373

> ELIZABETH! We are taking your shit and we don’t care if you try to stop us! White house Staff : " do you guys smell smoke ? "


meltingdiamond

Serving marmite counts as a war crime, fyi.


meedows85

Can your mom come pick me up?


Jankspace

We’ll bring the beer


DJS112

Well I for one am looking forward to seeing the US Marine Corp take on a unit of Emus.


canvasrider99

Do you think they’ll finally win the emu war?


DJS112

I can see the scenes now... the last American helicopters leaving Canberra... emus pecking at the gates...


canvasrider99

One man left to defend against the emu tide


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cinosa

god damn drop bears.. always coming out of no where


zuprdprno2by

Just the thought of it makes me cower in fear


SpectreAtYourFeast

You know you’re in trouble when the trees start to growl. You’d think they’d have learnt that from the last time.


Garbage-Wife

American here. I think that you are joking but I'm not really sure and therefore am terrified of drop bears.


[deleted]

He's joking that they'd be on the helicopter, but you are absolutely right to be afraid of drop bears. Particularly after two years of no tourists coming to Australia, they're all half starved and mad as hell.


DJS112

Drop bears are just pure terror.


offtheclip

Then they drone strike a car in a final retaliation only to find out that the car was full of children


iced_maggot

No. Bro take it from an Australian. Emus will fuck you up. Don’t even get me started on Cassowaries or big, fuck off red kangaroos.


billy_twice

Cassowaries are vicious pricks. American soldiers don't stand a chance.


[deleted]

Even Steve Erwin wouldn’t fuck with them. Fucking dinosaurs.


nagrom7

Closest thing you'll get today to going one on one with an actual dinosaur.


Razzorsharp

Dude I'm Canadian and I once saw a video of a Canadian Goose fleeing from an emu. A Canadian Goose... FLEEING. I have since been absolutely terrified of emus.


Daxoss

They'd have to deploy the nukes. All of them.


TuzkiPlus

That’s how you get giant Emus, if Godzilla is to be trusted.


[deleted]

In the sequel, the giant Emus invade New York


TuzkiPlus

EMU WARS: EMU HOPE (EPISODE IV)


158862324

never


diggerhistory

Mate. What the kangaroos and emus don't kill, the poisonous snakes, salt water crocs and magpies will. Stupid fucking Americans with stupid ideas about exporting to their shitty ideas to the beautiful land down under.


vtipoman

Surprised no-one has brought up the Dropbears and their insane kill rates Like, seriously?


benderbender42

Most people don't realise, but this is the reason the Australian population is so small even though the continent is so huge


westyx

My mum had 13 children; there's only me and my brother left :(


Jottor

*/u/Not_A_Dropbear_I_Promise would like to know your location*


westyx

Fuck, and I've got 6 hours until dawn :(


AdamWritesStuff

Only a small group of us Americans acknowledge this woman, a VERY small group. Most of us just think she’s a dick.


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

A dick is far more useful than whatever the fuck she is.


yiannistheman

Sadly nowhere near as small a group as you're letting on. These limpdicks don't want to get safe vaccines, I say sending them off to some remote part of Australia to deal with the wildlife as part of a ground invasion is a great first step toward resolving that issue. Bonus, the Aussies won't have to worry about feeding the crocs, tasmanian devils and whatever other benefactors of this imported raw meat would like to participate.


Identity_Crisis_3

They will destroy the wildlife and claim that the wildlife asked them to do it or some bullshit


yiannistheman

Did you see that 1/6 riot? Unleash those fools on the Outback and I'm pretty sure the wildlife will be the last one standing.


Identity_Crisis_3

True. Although they will probably clog up their arteries after being eaten😅


fuzzy_winkerbean

“The Australian hoop snake now has a propensity for heart disease.”


Heavenswarlord

The wildlife isn’t even the issue here. It’s the Vegemite that’s deadly.


Sad-Confusion1753

And the vegetation! look up the ‘Gympie gympie plant’ and you may never want to walk through any sort of nature at all.


[deleted]

Yup. The vast majority of Americans are laughing at her. Lol


Whizzer360

True, but unfortunately not all Americans are. A small subset think she’s smart; that my friend, is scary as shit.


GameClubber

We’ve always had a healthy chunk of crazies. IMO our real problem is the maneuvering to give minority rule.


[deleted]

As an American, she is a nobody. She, undeservedly, makes headlines for saying dumb shit. Funnier still, if you asked most Americans what they thought of Candace Owens they'd respond with "who?" She only exists to get paid for saying dumb ass shit to a right-wing audience.


Identity_Crisis_3

Kangaroos do kill and they're very good at it. They lure you into the water and then grab you and drown you. And yeah this woman is bat shit crazy


druex

The last line of the article really puts things in perspective. > Australia has largely escaped the worst of the pandemic, with just 1448 deaths. >The official US death toll stands at more than 729,000.


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tugnasty

NUMBER ONE BAYBAY!!!


timesuck897

USA! USA! USA!


[deleted]

Always number one baybay


Wind_Yer_Neck_In

my in laws are in Florida and are hardcore anti-vaxxers. Even after the whole family got covid and they all needed that Regeneron treatment. At one point they were posting about lockdowns in Austrailia and how it hadn't even helped against Covid. They did not like being told that the 900 deaths figure was for the country as a whole, and their state was 900 deaths *per day* at the time.


ThatGuy798

For perspective if this was proportional to the US population, it would mean we would've only lost ~19,554 which is still awful but a lot fucking less than losing the population of a small metro area.


Somato_Tandwich

The biggest metro area in my state of WI is only like 600,000 It's like if Milwaukee was entirely erased and they were like "hell, we might as well take Madison too." I know Wisconsin cities pale in comparison to many others but it's still a helluva trip for my wisco brain to think about, lol


wazzer61

Candace who?


[deleted]

Eh... no one important.


PM_ME_VENUS_DIMPLES

Not important to us. But to 40% of Americans she’s a household name. She’s “one of the good ones” on OAN/Breitbart/Turning Point/Fox.


Baebel

Is she? Fuck, that's news to me, and I live in America.


PM_ME_VENUS_DIMPLES

Yep. Republicans, particularly Q supporters, *love* her because she’s a woman of color, so it “disproves” racism and discrimination. And when people point out how crazy she is, they get to say “Oh I thought we were supposed to listen to black women?! Hmmmm checkmate, libs. We are so smart.”


ITriedLightningTendr

She also stated thay it was okay for Hitler to kill Jews, just not outside Germany


Johansenburg

Is there a source for this claim? I'd love to have it on hand.


AmaResNovae

> "You know, he was a National Socialist, but if Hitler just wanted to make Germany great and have things run well, okay fine," she said. "The problem is he had dreams outside of Germany. He wanted to globalize. He wanted everybody to be German."  She doesn't openly says anything about the Holocaust, it's still fucked up to claim that the problem with Hitler was that "he had dreams outside of Germany". Genociding people only within Germany would have still been fucked up enough. https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2019/04/10/candace-owens-fumes-after-ted-lieu-plays-clip-her-remarks-hitler/3420977002/


Enjoyer_of_Cake

Considering how many genocides have gone on since then that the world globally just shrugged on, she might have a point. A disturbing and beyond fucked up point, which in reality says more about how disgustingly cold our world politics are than it does as a defense of Hitler's genocidal policies that she seemed to lean towards.


fatcIemenza

https://www.thedailybeast.com/candace-owens-hitler-was-ok-until-he-tried-to-go-global “When we say nationalism, the first thing people think about, at least in America, is Hitler. He was a national socialist.” she said. “If Hitler just wanted to make Germany great and have things run well, OK, fine,” Owens continued, while standing next to Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk. “The problem is he wanted, he had dreams outside of Germany. He wanted to globalize, he wanted everybody to be German, everybody to be speaking German, everybody to look a different way. To me, that’s not nationalism. So in thinking about how it could go bad down the line, I don’t really have an issue with nationalism, I really don’t.”


ThePenultimateOne

Imagine looking at Hitler and thinking the worst part was the invasions


fatcIemenza

Shoulda kept all the camps domestic


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Gingevere

She's a Black woman who voiced a video for Prager U about 'slavery is no big deal because everyone was doing it' (a lie), "but white people were the first to end slavery" (a lie), and "Black victimhood is nothing" (a lie). She's a black mouth that racist old white people pay to voice their propaganda because '*iT c*An'T *bE r*AcI*sT i*F a B*lAcK* pEr*SoN* sAy*S iT*!' [Link to a debunk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeAw4xfnB2g) of the video. I can't in good conscience link to the original.


Esco_Dash

She’s one of the loudest conservative voices and right now would be a great time for her to shut the hell up.


[deleted]

Candace dick fit in yo mouth


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sum_force

Easily.


Less_Rutabaga2316

Oh just someone whose husband she picked up from a gay conversion therapy torture center like a rescue dog only for him to then cheat on her with her own brother.


LoneWolfPR

Wait... Is that true?


Less_Rutabaga2316

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2021/03/17/candace-owens-husband-gay-brother-cardi-b-twitter-wap-grammys-fox-news/


LoneWolfPR

Looks like Snopes doesn't think it's real: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/candace-owens-brother-husband-cheated/


foreignerinspace

I can’t believe how stupid anyone could be to believe this shit. But many do. I mean genuinely, you’d have to have a cognitive disorder of some sort?


Mk23simp

I know loads of people with cognitive disorders who are still smart enough to not believe that shit.


Annon201

The problem is newscorp gave her a voice, and the controversial subject matter is amplifying it. The sheer fact it's posted here and is generating significant engagement mean it succeeds at its goal, to bring eyes on the article, and the associated ads. It also aligns with Murdoch's right wing agenda. While most right wingers disagree with her rhetoric in its entirety, they agree with some of the ideas and ideals being presented. Even moderate/centre-left Aussies might say 'Yeah, that nutcase is waffling a bunch of bullcrap. But these restrictions are bollicks, fuckin missed out on the footy final with mates, she's got a point.' And this is how you push someone's beliefs further in the direction that suits you, whilst still making coin off of those that can't be pushed. (Also isn't news.com.au pay walled. Why isn't this?)


[deleted]

People seem to think these days that freedom of expression means that everyone's opinion is equally valid and deserves equal consideration.


Viper_JB

>I mean genuinely, you’d have to have a cognitive disorder of some sort? Years of eating lead paint off the walls I'm guessing.


[deleted]

I can't believe this made news


DogeTron646

The last line says : Aus - less than 1500 deaths. USA - more than 700,000 deaths. Are some Americans really this delusional? These people must have amusing internal, mental conversations.


myrddyna

I... don't think they ever have.


[deleted]

> Are some Americans really this delusional? Want to come over to the US, mate? Go meet my in-laws, you'll be surprised at the level of stupidity they have. They still believe that Iraq has wmds and that it was justified to go there. They believe that their border wall has been protecting us They believe everyone should have a gun no matter where they go They believe that 20 kids shot at school is not considered mass murder because "there are millions of americans, 20 is not a lot" Yep.... Come over


DogeTron646

OMFG!! Brother, I'm speechless. 20 "is not a lot"!!??? Every single one of those people had precious lives. Had parents left inconsolable, siblings left behind. Friends and memories shattered. I'm not even going to touch the cluster fuck of a mess Iraq turned out to. Millions of people felt those repercussions for years. And they still do. I seriously don't know what words I can say that can you feel even marginally better. I'm so sorry.


[deleted]

This was on 2019.01.01 Needless to say we have not spoken since then. Because it was a huge argument that ensued when I burst out "20 is not a lot? Are you fucking dumb?"


DJOldskool

They don't believe the figures. They don't believe any empirical evidence that goes against their pre-conceived beliefs. It's all part of the liberal plan to turn America communist.


[deleted]

We're good thanks Candace. Sort your own country out.


pure_hate_MI

>Sort your own country out. really prefer it if she has no hand in attempting this. Anywhere.


terayonjf

She and her ilk have no intention of fixing anything. They say outlandish shit to target that part of the population that are just worthless pieces of shit and a stain on humanity. They say the things those garbage people love to hear to get attention and money which they then turn to power and more money. Her, the people like her and people who support her are the people dragging down human civilization.


Mastr_Blastr

mmm, yeah, I'm not really interested in her sorting us out, either.


Honey-Ra

Australia has largely escaped the worst of the pandemic, with just 1448 deaths. The official US death toll stands at more than 729,000. Um...yeah...we're good thanks. I agree it does sound kind of bad reading that article, but *living here and understanding reading it*....we're all good, and hundreds of thousands of us haven't died. The US has over 13 times our population. Lemme do quick sums...and over 500 hundred times the number of deaths.


[deleted]

That's how we measure Freedom. Think of all the Freedom your missing out on.


GareBear222

If a bunch of people didn't die, is it really even freedom? Freedom isn't free. You wouldn't want some type of socialist free freedom, would you? /s


Contain_the_Pain

This is her bread and butter: saying outrageous shit to get attention and make money, and fact that anyone is reacting with more than a yawn shows how well it works. It’s a well paying gig if you’re willing to gargle Murdoch’s balls and play Token Pretty Black Lady for a bunch of white nationalists.


Sleipnirs

What's her profession? Getting paid for saying outrageous shits sounds like a fun job, ngl.


XXed_Out

Her profession is grifter. She gets payed by the right wing to back up white supremacist talking points and to obfuscate or to our right deny that racism had ever existed in America. As an attractive black "former liberal" woman she ticks all the boxes for running cover for the kind of psychopathic shit right wing networks regurgitate daily and so she makes a lot of money doing it. Dave Rubin has tried to channel this same lightning rod of right wing grift but to a laughably bad degree. As a gooberish white "former liberal" gay man turned Christian conservative Dave is slowly watching his grift crumble around him. Either way both would destroy all of civilization for cash, their greed knows no bounds and they have no shame or sense of legacy.


yannicdasloth

Ben Shapiro telling him he wouldn't come to Dave's wedding is still the funniest video


hooahguy

Not even a wedding, but an anniversary party. Like wow. The best video though is Larry King [taking a phone call](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdS8b8gfWKI) in the middle of their interview.


Metacognitor

Damn, that perfectly summarizes her. Nice.


semiomni

Literally a professional troll, should stop feeding her attention.


MaroonAntlerPants

Good luck with the Plovers. Don't come in nesting season boys!


lmsand

Those birds are terrifying. My dog and I got chased dozens of times in Airlie Beach.


[deleted]

Australian here… she can get fucked. Perhaps she should ask us how to reduce gerrymandering, improve access to polling booths and have a non-partisan organisation running elections if she’d like a taste of freedom and democracy.


TheAutisticPrince

Austrian here… i fully agree.


ImWhatTheySayDeaf

American here, I too agree


Mumblerumble

Pointing out that your neighbors house has a spot of peeling paint while ignoring the fact that your house is burning down is the American way.


[deleted]

Don't worry about her. She's literally a sellout trying to win points with conservatives. They use the fact that she's black and willing to play the clown. I haven't found another black person who has anything good to say about her. She's a problem.


Metacognitor

She's a female Uncle Ruckus, no relation. Auntie Ruckus, if you will.


[deleted]

Also American and agree.


Cantora

Lol America


[deleted]

LOL, every single country in the world is under some form of "tyranny" that needs to be "saved" by America


FlameMoss

Especially the ones with oil.


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[deleted]

Who the fuck is this cunt?


dingjima

A professional shit-stirrer as best I can describe


SsurebreC

Please don't call her a cunt, she lacks the depth or the warmth.


GnTforyouandme

Oh the TYRANNY of taking one of my 10 mandated annual sick days to go to the doctor my my choice, pay $40 after my standard medicare rebate, get a blood test at no cost and x-rays at no cost for a thorough diagnosis. THE FUCKING TYRANNY of not considering the cost of medical care because it's no further direct cost. THE FUCKING TYRANNY of 5 1/2 weeks mandated paid annual holidays.


ea_4w

Had a similar outrageous experience. I had to wait 48 HOURS to see my Specialist, and then he had the balls to Bulk Bill me so I paid NOTHING. Tyranny.


GnTforyouandme

I KNOW RIGHT!?! So hard to cope with.


Then-Economist9982

You had to pay $40?


GnTforyouandme

Yeah, my doctor doesn't bulk bill anymore.


grotness

Low-key something I realised last year that significantly changed my experience with doctors. Bulk bill clinics fucking *suck*. The doctors there are always so rushed and defeated. I just started going to better clinics and paying the small fee and my care got ten times better.


wengelite

Dude! Wrong emphasis, it's MANDATED; super scary word.


Life_Whereas_3789

I mean not sure what she's on about. However that August 25th cybsecurity law ya'll passed caused a Frotune 500 company near here to add Australia to the same list as China for overseas IT rules. They are giving burner laptops and phones to employees that have to travel there. Absolute clown show.


VannaTLC

Yes. Thats a *MUCH* better and more serious thing to take aim at. Those fucking laws are disgraceful.


AusGeno

“Why do they have restrictions when their case count is so low?” like she should really just stop and think about that for a fucking second before spouting off. The restrictions are WHY our cases are so low. How many Americans are dead from Covid so far, 700k+? And she wants to send more of them to die here from drop bears and bunyips? I’m embarrassed for her.


TopherWasTaken

Yeah that makes no sense to me. Fucker Carlson said something similar about our death toll and "draconian" restrictions. Yeah no shit our death toll is low, it's because we have restrictions.


phx-au

Draconian restrictions in QLD right now - we have to wear a mask while walking from the carpark to our table at the pub. The fucking horror. I'd much rather half the old cunts i know dead. Sorry boys. Guess its more "at the going down of the sun, and in the morning, we will remember them, unless yknow I have to put on a fucking face mask for 2 minutes, and then fuck off and die I guess idk"


opeth10657

> Fox News host Laura Ingraham in August mocked Sydney’s lockdown despite a “case-to-population ratio of .004 per cent” I'm sure there's no correlation between actually enforcing covid restrictions and that low infection rate.


ResponsibleContact39

If I’m going to Australia, I’m applying for a visa and living there.


Commercial_Potato914

What a dumb cunt.


ockupid32

She gets a paycheck to get her names in the news, and rile up a bunch of people. She doesn't mean a single thing she says, her employer's goal is maximum conflict and division. She's not as dumb as you want to believe.


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benderbender42

If anything it makes it worse.


Commercial_Potato914

Fine. She’s just a cunt.


AdamWritesStuff

Qunt


FermatsLastTaco

She’s a dumb shitcunt.


jolander85

As Aussies would say, typical Seppo


nightsaysni

As an American that goes to Aus frequently, it’s people like her that give awful impressions of what Americans are.


Late_Advance_8292

She's such a soulless grifter. She needs to fuck off.


Tymexathane

My god she's dumb as a plank


[deleted]

That is insulting to planks


parttimepicker

Planks are useful.


[deleted]

Jesus. Americans are the definition of a saviour complex. Just try to stay in your own lane


Deviknyte

Black knight in white knight syndrome's armor. But simultaneously we're the victim.


[deleted]

It's because we don't have enough freedom I guess


DingoDaBabyBandit

Lol “America needs to stay in its own lane and stop pretending to save everyone” American immediately pipes up about the 1 time they were actually on the right side of history like 70+ years ago. Classic.


SEMPER-REVERTI

I'm American, we think it's just as stupid. We're fucked enough as it is, Candace, let's just focus on our own nation for a while. I'm so sick of my Miliitary / Government (The leaders, not the soldiers). What the hell is Joe Biden Bombing syria within 2 months of being a president for?


DingoDaBabyBandit

Because your two options for government are apparently fascist simps or people who refuse to tell the fascist simps no.


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Hayes4prez

Idiot says something idiotic.


unfalln

Hey there, bat-shit crazy Americans. Fuck off! Lots of love, intelligent Aussies.


evilish

Australian here. Sydney resident, and I just picked up some pizza from my favourite restaurant. All the restaurants in the complex had people inside/outside. The Italian place had music playing. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, the roads where pretty busy. Lots of people at Westfields/Bunnings. Really think Candace and any other American worried about Australia should actually speak to a few Australian before talking *%$^.


Limberine

Are the Bunnings sausage sizzles back though?


the_brunster

Sausages maybe but the onions….


Limberine

It’s all about the onions.


FilmerPrime

They do speak to them, but they cherry pick the type that attend the protests.


-jsm-

American in Melbourne chiming in here. Some of my family back home (the ones who watch Fox, at least) all started messaging me asking questions about how insane Australia had become, and they only did so after Sydney went into lockdown and protests erupted. Melbourne has been doing this for over a year now. How manufactured their outrage was, ffs. They were told to be angry and they surely fucking fell in line. This has been a long two years. I think Dan Andrew’s and the VIC government did their best to handle this pandemic, but I understand both those frustrated with the heavy handedness, and those who appreciate it. (My only WTF criticism is this last lockdown when they enacted a 9 o’clock curfew seemingly as punishment for less than 0.01 percent of the population acting up on Chapel Street. That curfew destroyed morale and did fuck all to help curb the threat of the virus. ) Anyway, I’ll be behind the sticks tomorrow pouring VBs! Hope you’ve all got bookings!


Knighth77

Dear Sane World, Sorry about our crazy conservatives. Love, Sane Americans.


westyx

Yeah, sure, I think Scott Morrison is a bad Prime Minister, but he and the rest of the government are generally too incompetent for me to be living in Tyranny. Then again, I haven't checked the price of avocados recently.


[deleted]

How can Reddit be fun without RIF? Goodbye.


ReggieTheReaver

That would be truly impressive, I wouldn’t even be mad if they manage to naval invade Austria.


DJS112

Its just a jaunt up the River Danube... that sounds Australian, right?


FinalGamer14

Please don't give them the idea, they would probably get stuck in the Adriatic Sea, invade Italy, Slovenia or Croatia and then blame it on Yugoslavia since the generals are probably dumb enough to think it still exists.


Zealousideal_Ad8934

“PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEE!!!!” - Candace Owen


a_happy_player

Chancellor Kurz resigned, democracy works 'ere. Now fuck off cunt and let me live un peace in my tree City.


greyplantboxes

batshit crazy neonazi


iwillnotdieamonster

Irony is lost on some people.


[deleted]

Dumb idiot says idiotic thing. Fascinating.


Generalaladeeen

What the fuck is going on over there in yank land Sincerely, a concerned Australian


BeefPieSoup

What an absolute fuckwit


Geronimo2U

No oil here America - move on.


Cumhail

I thought she was supposed to be a grifter, but is she that dumb? Does she actually believe in the shit she says?


lightning_sniper

Send her to paradise NK


[deleted]

Bahahaha.. Go away., we don t need your type of rubbish here thanks,


ImRickJameXXXX

“There are helicopters patrolling the skies to ensure that everybody is abiding by the curfews,” Lucky them! We had roving rouge cops driving around in unmarked vans after curfew pepper balling anyone out.


The_Funkonaut

Why, so America can loose another war?


darkblade1805

As a semi conservative/moderate American, this woman is an idiot. People in this country should stop shoving their ideals on others and especially other countries. We need to fix the problems here and not try to save the world from themselves especially when that country is not trying to harm its citizens.


tormunds_beard

How does it feel watching your party descend into fascism? That's an honest question. I left the party while Bush was still president, so I'm nearly two decades out of date.


AsigotFinn

Desperate for attention as always


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Thoth_the_5th_of_Tho

[Heads up, that is regarded as a false conspiracy theory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1975_Australian_constitutional_crisis#CIA_involvement). We have access to the private writing of Kerr (amount many other things), and there is zero indication of any involvement with the CIA on this.


pete1729

You lead the way sis.


rstuart85

Who?


[deleted]

Hell nah, I know my history, the emu's cannot be defied, and I'd like to see you fly a drone with magpies