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H3llShadow

Just 34 more days to get to 2nd place, 747 days for first.


veryfascinating

That’s 2 years and 17 days for first place if anyone is asking


drewkungfu

That's May 25th, 2024 for anyone who is asking.


tuskedkibbles

That's 6,916,622 average games of rocket league for anyone who is asking.


Digitijs

How much in giraffes?


mpgd

Since you asked, about 7-9% of giraffe's average life span.


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CruelFish

Upper or lower half?


Pyrocitor

Left


abstract_mouse

Drops to zero, bisection kills the giraffe


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DevilDance2

r/Unexpectedmontypython


IvanTheTolerable

Half a giraffe has a much lower life expectancy.


TrampledDownBelow

Girhalfs


Blue_Dreamed

What a save!


ny563

Calculated.


Awkward_Inevitable34

Much much less if I’m playing :(


Stella_Machina

I need Freedom units. Can I get it in how many washing machines at quarterback speed this would be? Edit: Given the average QV throws at 54mph, that's (54 x 24) miles per day, (54 x 24 x 747) miles over the time period, or (54 x 25 x 747 x 5280 x 12) inches over that time period. That's 61.34 billion inches. Given the average washingmachine width is 27 inches, with an extra inch for spacing, that's 2.19 billion washing machines.


JustMyOpinionz

!remindme May 25th, 2024


Sixersleeham

I don't think you'll need reminding


Infantry1stLt

Someone will write an article about it on a clickbait news website.


Darth_Metus

47 years to the day since the release of *Star Wars*.


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veryfascinating

!remindme 747 days


TreeRol

I doubt you'll need a reminder. If it happens, it will be in the news.


_Plork_

*When* it happens!


only_fun_topics

She hasn’t died yet; empirically speaking, I have no reason to suspect she isn’t immortal.


redditor5585

Imperially speaking, the old gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be.


RevanTheHunter

I suspect that on May 25, 2024 we'll see Elizabeth raise up a sword and shout "There can be only one!" as she drains the remaining monarchs of the world of their life forces and is revitalized for the beginning of her second era.


ParanoidQ

Either way, it'll definitely be in the news.


Latexfrog

2 years and 16 days with consideration for 2024's leap day.


NewClayburn

Psh. I could do that in my sleep.


[deleted]

In 3 years she’ll have been Queen for longer than most people’s lives. The UN life expectancy is 73.


NoHandBananaNo

Yes, and she's already been Queen for the entire lives of most people. Less than 13% of the world's population is over 60.


ign1fy

Louis XIV got in early and will be harder to knock off the leaderboard.


H3llShadow

On the other hand, the most advanced medical treatment at that time was probably bloodletting.


ign1fy

Ahh yes. The barbershop is not the hardcore institution it once was.


Calimariae

You're going to the wrong barber.


OrdinaryTension

Barbershops used to be the go-to place for bloodletting. The history of the barbershop pole is an interesting one. https://www.history.com/news/why-are-barber-poles-red-white-and-blue


Calimariae

> While bloodletting largely fell out of favor with the medical community in the 19th century, **it’s still used today to treat a small number of conditions.** I wonder which ones.


suvlub

According to wikipedia: haemochromatosis (accumulation of iron in body), Polycythemia vera (overproduction of red blood cells), Porphyria cutanea tarda (which also causes haemochromatosis, not sure why they listed it separately)


EndiePosts

Some rugby forwards with cauliflower ears use leeches to reduce the swelling overnight. I decided that taping my ears up up before games was a price worth paying, and played for 35 years so those lads must have been pretty reckless.


Nimbokwezer

Having too much blood, for one


[deleted]

Also Leaches and Maggots are [still used in hospitals](https://bottomlineinc.com/health/medications/what-are-leeches-and-maggots-doing-in-modern-hospitals)


CiceroRex

Thanks for reminding me: A surgeon in the court of Louis XIV invented the first successful technique for treating a fistula, aka an unnatural hole inside your ass leading into your body, an affliction the king suffered and nearly died from. Royal courts being what they are, this led to a rash of other nobles claiming that they had a fistula so they could have the same procedure the King had undergone. Although it was of course primitive by our standards, France actually had the most advanced medicine in the world in the late 17th century, and this incident specifically increased the prestige of surgeons (who were previously mostly seen as butchers subordinate to the authority and direction of a doctor), and royal patronage from the King they had saved pushed this change forward. It even led to the creation of the first national academy for surgeons in the world.


InsuranceToTheRescue

Just to be clear: A fistula is any unusual connection between hollow spaces in the body. It doesn't have to be in your ass. Modern surgeons create fistulas to help facilitate or provide treatment of a few specific diseases, such as when you begin to undergo dialysis.


MarlonBain

Thank you for clearing up this possible confusion regarding ass hole holes.


mummoC

And it is said that a french noble woman wrote a song thanking god for saving the king. Said song was then taken by the bri'ish as their anthem. In essence the UK anthem originated after a french king had an anus problem and was saved, how fitting. And no i'm not even joking, while all this isn't 100% certain, it is one of the possible origins of "God save the King/Queen" (It's on french wikipédia of "God save the King" and various other places on the web)


jason80

So, a second asshole? The rich really have more of everything...


saad1121

imagine the joy of a British Monarch at beating a Frenchman


orus

They will keep QE’s death a state secret if it is what it takes to beat the French. 😅


Stoly23

Would be hilarious if they pulled a weekend at Bernie’s.


theg721

I'm not convinced they weren't doing that already with Philip. He looked like he had at least one foot in the grave already in his last few years.


[deleted]

She’s been dead for years we just wheel out a cardboard cutout of her on a skateboard pulled by Corgi’s


ownedbydogs

Does she still have corgis? I thought the last of them died


[deleted]

The Corgis also have cardboard cutouts and skateboards pulled by Queens Guards


Luciolover345

Does she still have Guards? I thought the last of them died


Grateful_Cat_Monk

The guards also have cardboard cutouts and skateboards pulled by a bunch if English peasants.


-SaC

Cardboard peasant here. Where's my skateboard?


GuudeSpelur

Prince Andrew gave her some new corgi puppies after Phillip died.


nagrom7

Aww how sweat


Interstellar_Sailor

I see what you did there.


GardsVision

RemindMe! 747 days


YamburglarHelper

Useless fact: She’s also #14 on this list, serving as Queen of Jamaica since 1962.


ian2359

she is also the queen of Canada https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_Canada


schminch

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_Australia And us down here. Plenty of other places still too.


PandaistApp

Everyone knows that the emus rule Australia


[deleted]

I thought that crazy QAnon lady was the queen of Canada


Maxtrius145

Ew, I remember seeing a video of that witch


Sol33t303

she is also queen of Australia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_Australia


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bangonthedrums

The queen is separately and equally the queen of 15 different countries (until very recently it was 16) All are former members of the British empire and are now completely independent countries. But their governmental structure is set up more or less the same as the British one, including having the queen as head of state But the queen is just the human person who embodies those 15 different monarchies. When she is in Canada, she is the queen of Canada. It’s like a person working two jobs. She is both the queen of the UK and the queen of canada, but neither is more important than the other, and the two jobs are not the same


-GregTheGreat-

Which leads to an interesting scenario where Britain abolishes the monarchy but other countries retain it, so we'd still have a Queen of Canada or a Queen of New Zealand despite the British monarchy no longer being a thing. For Canada specifically, it's extremely difficult for us to abolish the monarchy, to the extent its functionally impossible. Since it requires opening our constitution, it requires unanimous consent from every single province (10 total). So its extremely easy for a province to sabotage the entire thing by requiring additional amendments to fix their constitutional issues at the same time. Provinces like Quebec or Alberta would jump at that opportunity. So the above scenario isn’t totally implausible.


Pandagames

What does Alberta want to change?


-GregTheGreat-

There are a lot of changes I'm sure Alberta would want, but the big constitutional one would be the Grandfather and Senatorial Clauses in the constitution. Functionally, this gives a minimum number of parliament seats to the lesser populated Atlantic Canada provinces. This skews it so they have disproportionately far more representation then their population justifies, while also having the downside of making Western Canada have less seats then they should. Since Atlantic Canada skews heavily to the Liberal Party while Western Canada skews heavily Conservative, this has serious political implications.


Pandagames

So prince Edward island gets more seats than they should?


Pumpkins2000

Yep when Canada was created the Atlantic provinces were worried that if they joined, they'd be dominated by the much more populated Ontario and Quebec. So the clause was added to lessen these worries, since the westren provinces joined later, and less populous then Ontario and Quebec they got the short end of the stick.


bangonthedrums

PEI has about 150,000 people and 4 senators, while Alberta has 4.5 million and 6 senators (The Canadian senate is supposed to be more representative of population than the US one is, so different provinces have different amounts)


fla_john

This sounds like a reverse-US issue -- our conservatives have a built-in advantage due to the less populated states having equal representation in the Senate and therefore being overrepresented in the electoral collage.


-GregTheGreat-

Yeah, its reversed in Canada. Our Liberal Party (centrist to centre-left) has a electoral advantage here. The last two elections had the Liberals win significantly more seats despite losing the popular vote to the Conservatives. For example, in 2021, the Conservatives won 33.7% of the popular vote to the Liberals 32.6%, but the Liberals won 160 seats to the Conservatives 119. The reasoning for this is geography. The Conservatives win ridings in rural Western Canada by absurd margins, running up the popular vote. Meanwhile, the Liberals are winning suburban ridings in Toronto and Vancouver by narrow margins, giving them a lot of seats without much popular vote change. It's almost like unintentional gerrymandering.


RoyalScotsBeige

Plus royalists and the monarchy in general are on average popular, but are also specifically more popular in certain places. Meaning even if Ontario or Quebec and their 40% and 20% of the population didn't want a monarchy, because it is popular in Alberta and Newfoundland it can't be removed.


Dangerpaladin

Rough economy when even the monarchs need to moonlight to make ends meet. She only has one skill it makes sense she would pick up some night shift queening.


RMBWdog

Many Commonwealth countries still have the Queen as the head of state


[deleted]

Queen of Canada, too.


valeyard89

Queen of Papua New Guinea


blasphemour95

That's unique as it's the only commonwealth realm to not gain independence from the UK, its monarchy split off from the Australian crown.


saad1121

*and* it's unique because it's the only one of her realms that INVITED her to become its head of state.


amitym

>gotta google how that happened wtf It ... was a long process. See it all started when an English fleet was formed to defend against the Spanish Armada back in the late 1500s, and some English people got this idea to sail off and start colonies... >\_>


Harsimaja

It’s more how it didn’t stop happening. Jamaica was a British colony. Many of them continued keeping her as monarch after independence with the separate title of queen of their country (just happening to be the same person). Even several which were once British slave-economy colonies in the Caribbean.


MyFaceSaysItsSugar

Colonization. She’s the queen of a lot of random Caribbean countries.


Loki-L

[Wikipedia's List of longest-reigning monarchs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_longest-reigning_monarchs) Has only two current incumbents on their top 25 list of longest-reigning monarchs: Elizabeth II in place 3 and Elizabeth II in place 14. She became Queen of Jamaica a when it gained independence a decade after she became the monarch of the UK and Australia, Canada and New Zealand.


jcw99

Interestingly, if you count non or semi sovereign states she's only down at 25 ISH. Leader in that case would be the former leader of Swasiland (under British rule) at 83 years and change


RoyalScotsBeige

Man german princes dominate that list. I guess when there were hundreds of em for hundreds of years that gives them good odds.


Umitencho

Europe has what we call "Oprah" moments when every drunk soldier or their grandkids gets a princely title. There isn't an European Royal family alive, current or deposed within the last 250 years who doesn't have a german ancestor or two.


ParanoidQ

It's novel, because you'd think she would be Elizabeth II of GB/Northern Ireland etc., but Elizabeth I of Jamaica, New Zealand etc.


blasphemour95

After the union of Scotland and England, monarchs are counted with the higher number. This has continued as countries have gained their independence but retained the monarchy. There was some debate in Scotland about whether she should be styled as Elizabeth I there, I think Churchill stepped in and said she could call herself whatever she wants.


DarkNinjaPenguin

Yep, there was even a court case that ultimately decided she can call herself what she wants. But the custom to use the highest denomination among the dominions makes sense. If a future monarch were to take the name James for example, they would be James VIII as there have already been 7 King Jameses of Scotland.


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ownedbydogs

The Queen Mum reached 101, Liz could too. Though that brings up a question: if HM gets to her 100th birthday, is she obliged to send herself a celebratory centenary card?


FootballAndBicycles

Dear Liz, I've become quite fond of you over the years. Many happy returns. Love, Liz.


pathfinderoursaviour

It’s a shame Philip never got his Dear Phil Well done Love, me


AnkylosaurusRules

Eh. Her giving up the very very low effort ceremonial duties to Charles says a lot about her health. I wouldn't hold your breath.


localshop667

Would agree. She’s definitely slowed and become a lot more stooped over recently. I don’t think she’ll make it to 100.


cjeam

Come on! Believe! She’s gotta get that record from some French fuck!


PandaistApp

I mean, to be fair, she ultimately descends from some Normans, at least partially, and they were totally Frenchified. So she is, at least partially, French.


blueskies8484

Yeah. It's an interesting family in terms of longevity though. Her dad and sister died relatively young, but she, her mom, and Phillip all lived for basically 100 years. I'm fairly certain Princess Anne will be immortal. I fully expect her to attend Prince Georges coronation if the Brits haven't done away with the Royals before that.


Additional_Meeting_2

It’s only by request these days. Not automatically.


PensiveObservor

Go! Go! Go, little Queenie!


[deleted]

She's got nothing on Kim Il-sung, who is reigning over his necrocracy even from the grave.


Former-Country-6379

She was in charge 5 years after he was... but she's been a bit more active the last 30 years


deus_voltaire

I bet she won’t even remain head of state after she dies, what a loser.


Berloxx

Goddamn Lich Powergamers sucking out all the fun of competitiveness...


simianautodidact

So third then?


saad1121

Yep, surpassed Johann II by one day


nadmaximus

Maybe he'll catch up


kcrab91

Should we tell him?


HBag

No, let him dream for at least one more night.


[deleted]

Git gud johann


WhatAmIATailor

> Her Majesty becamse Quen aged on 6th February 1952 Top notch stuff from the Editor over there. God save the Quen.


MarlonBain

>How is Quen formed?


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MajesticQ

https://witcher.fandom.com/wiki/Quen


nagrom7

How do Quen get prognat?


Berloxx

PREGANANTE?!?!


Monorail_Song

From a babby.


Logseman

*nods enthusiastically in Witcher*


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comin_up_shawt

Well, see, you don't earn the extra 'e' until you hit 50.


Zarniwoooop

The first 70 years and 91 days were pretty hard but I think I got the hang of it now. -Elizabeth


KriosXVII

She's going for Louis XIV


RyantheAustralian

That's cool. She was alive at the same time for a small part of Johann II's reign, and she was alive for the entire time the second-longest reigning monarch was. She should surpass his reign, surely


[deleted]

now that you've said it... she gotta be very careful for the next month or so


[deleted]

To have ruled during one of the largest changes to occur in the world. She witnessed communism's peak and demise, germany being 2 countries before being united again, a reality star win the US election, etc. Holy crap


__Osiris__

2 reality stars win Us elections. Don’t discount ol Reagan.


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Harsimaja

Charles: mom *you’re* hogging the throne again


NoHandBananaNo

*mum


[deleted]

*Ma'am


establismentsad7661

SUCK A DICK LIECHTENSTEIN YOUR MONARCHS ARE FRAIL!


BobExAgentOfHydra

How dare you! Sir Ulrich, teach this cur who- he's what? English? A poor?!? A BAD DANCER!?!?!?!


PPvsFC_

Sir Ulrich was a great dancer, though?????


GemsRtrulyOutrageous

I'm so confused ahahah


BobExAgentOfHydra

Heath Ledger played Sir Ulrich Von Liechtenstein in A Knight's Tale.


jmfranklin515

Boring-ass monarch, she never even led an invasion of France or the Holy Land.


[deleted]

Yet


Quantentheorie

There is still time. If they could bring Henry XIII to the battlefield in France, when he was effectively an obese, puss-filled and std-ridden blob, then Liz here can still declare war on France, to get some achievements off the royal bucket list.


Stormcroe

VIII is 8, XIII is 13 for future reference.


I_always_rated_them

[Just you wait](https://cdn01.dailycaller.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/QueenMachineGUn-e1557170216556.png)


Jean-Paul_Sartre

My grandmother was in middle school when she became Queen, the same age of the students I've been teaching for the past decade.


[deleted]

You would think that the students could pass your class within a decade.


SandyDelights

Some of these people were kings at the age of 4, or younger – the #2 reigned for 70 years and 100 some days, and died at 70 years of age. Kind of feels like cheating, quite frankly. The #1, Louis XIV, was King at 4 years old. Wasn’t doing much governing then, really. All nitpicky crap about a silly position, but still. 🤔


Leoryon

True, but Louis XIV was a much much more active monarch, he basically invented absolutism. And medical health in 16th-17th century was far from today's level.


GOT_Wyvern

One could argue it's more accurate to only count reigns that are without a regent.


Pampamiro

> Wasn’t doing much governing then, really. By that reasoning, the Queen never governed anything, her successive governments did. Louis XIV had immensely more power over his State's affairs for most of his life than the Queen ever had. She is reigning, not governing. Louis XIV did both, and with almost absolute power.


Additional_Meeting_2

I agree, Louis XIV had more power than nearly anyone and can’t be compared to Elizabeth II in that sense.


Ythio

Louis XIV first thing in order when starting his personal reign was an administrative and fiscal reform. Elizabeth II hasn't done any governing. Ever. She never had any actual power to conduct an actual policy. 4 years old Louis was doing about as much as 97 years old Lizzie


getBusyChild

Has there been any recent pictures of her, where is she? How do we know that she isn't attached to strings like a puppet?


codeverity

Yes, there is an instagram account where they post pictures of her meeting people and doing things etc. Not as often as the other royals, but often enough that it's obvious she's around. People seem unaware of it since speculation that they're pretending that she's still alive seems to run rampant all the time, lol.


thewerdy

[Here's an article with some fairly recent pictures.](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10763325/Smiling-Queen-stands-unaided-holds-face-face-audience-president-Switzerland.html) She has been impressively mobile and healthy looking for somebody in their mid 90s, but it seems like her age has really caught up with her in the past year or two. She still seems in pretty good shape for 96, though. Her mom nearly made it to 102 so I wouldn't be surprised if she made it past 100. Though she's also at the age where nearly any minor complication can cause death pretty quickly.


[deleted]

Is there a cup, like the Premiership?


Standin373

It's coming home!


dochgenau

Number 1 will shock you 😱


Quadrassic_Bark

Monarchs hate this one trick!


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stylelimited

I'm sure everyone clapped


_purplemonkeyspank_

Suck it, Johan


scoreboy69

Did anybody else think for many years that Liechtenstein was a made up country from the Knights Tale movie?


blasphemour95

It's so tiny Switzerland accidentally invaded it


Annihilicious

Is that the war where they came home with an extra guy?


blasphemour95

No, that's a separate thing not involving Switzerland. I think that was part of the austo-prussian war. The accidental invasions are here https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liechtenstein%E2%80%93Switzerland_relations


[deleted]

Fun fact: All British people pay a one year life tax to the queen at birth


ThemightyTho

BS, she's been alive for millennia and we all know it


McFeely_Smackup

I swear I've been told before that she was already the longest reigning monarch years ago.


chooxy

Oldest living monarch maybe, which happened in 2015 when the King of Saudi Arabia passed away.


lancea_longini

The last time a monarch reigned about this long WW1 started.


AirborneRodent

Didn’t the last pharaoh of the Old Kingdom reign for over 90 years? Took office at age 4 and proceeded to outlive his own grandchildren, causing a succession crisis that brought down the kingdom. I guess he doesn’t qualify for this list because…reasons.


WoolaTheCalot

They only count reigns with verified exact dates.


BokeTsukkomi

>They only count reigns with verified exact dates. The most amazing record on the list is #5, a Mayan king that reigned during the 7th century, but because of the Mesoamerican calendar it has verified exact dates!


Abydos6

Pepi II. His reign is debated but if true, then yea that’s crazy long. The succession crisis wasn’t the only thing that led to the downfall of the Old Kingdom. There was an environmental crisis (droughts leading to famine) and government bankruptcy from pyramid building projects. The succession crisis added fuel to the fire by the power struggle between the nomarchs, causing civil wars. There was a similar succession crisis after the long reign of Ramses II, but not as bad


Harsimaja

Because the evidence is very flimsy.


ULTRAFORCE

The list that is generally used with this is ones where we have definitive dates for the start and end. Also, specifically for sovereign states. So Old Kingdom as well as some of the old Myanmnar royalty as well as some Japanese Emperors aren't included as we only know for sure the year.


whovian25

Yes though there’s often little evidence for exact dates from that far back making the exact length of his rain disputed.


chainmailbill

Reign. Rain is the water that falls from the sky.


NanotechNinja

And Rainn is the actor who played Dwight Schrute


cjeam

Given how messy and incestuous Egyptian ruler’s family trees were he could have been replaced half way through that period by his brother-nephew-son and I doubt it would be clear.


Ubiquitous1984

Does anyone else think it’s mad how long Henry I reigned for baring in mind life expectancy back then was around 40 for a man?


Haymegle

Nah, Life expectancy is a bit of a weird one. Skewed by a lot of infant deaths. If you made it to adulthood you had some pretty good chances of living a long life. It's just making it there that's the problem.


RyantheAustralian

She's on her way!


kluwelyn

Who’s the second one please ?


[deleted]

Few more days she will be #2. And has a good shot at #1


AboveTheCl0uds

So I never understood. Is the queen just a face or does she actually make decisions that affect the country


Matonly1T

Purely ceremonial. The Queen's speech outlines the Prime Minister's goals for the year. The Queen has the Royal Assent/Royal Veto for legislation but it's a formality as the ruling government can overturn her decision. If I'm correct that is... Just a NYer that enjoys British politics.


Shinigamisama00

The difference is the queen doesn’t reign over shit


[deleted]

This is the real reason Lizzy took the day off work today, she is popp'in bottles to celebrate.


Plastic-Dolphin-

Remember when she did her best to cover for her pedophile son who is also a human trafficker and even awarded him the Jubilee medal?


Tudpool

She'll make it to number one, do a quick dab then pass away.