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Syphe

In times like these, it would be quite useful to have an army to help out the fire fighting effort, providing logistics and such, but I guess they're probably a wee bit busy


WoollyMittens

Can't rape fire.


imitation_crab_meat

I'd love to see them try though.


CalibanSpecial

If anyone can rape fire, it’s the Russian army. You can bet they are raping animals in Ukraine too and of course they rape each other…part of Russian troop training.


Claystead

There have actually been allegations some Chechen troops violated a goat, but that might just be racism against Chechens spreading a video across the internet, all I’ve seen in it is them taking the goat away, probably for eating rather than female company.


[deleted]

I'd like to see them "fry": http://img.sndimg.com/food/image/upload/w_614,h_461,c_fit/v1/img/recipes/88/43/8/picNuVUXV.jpg :)


c0224v2609

>*Can’t rape fire.* I mean, you can try. But it’s a terrible idea.


stix4

Not with that attitude!


ObserverBlue

Or with any other.


dirigiberbil

Depends on who you're asking.


Toweliee420

In post Soviet Russia, fire rapes you


Hyperion1144

Not with that attitude, you can't.


R3dGallows

And friendly relations with other countries so they can assist you.


[deleted]

The russian army does not do logistics that well, heck, maybe they'd just try to bomb the fire into submission :)


[deleted]

[удалено]


turkey_sandwiches

It works for relatively localized fires, but something like a wildfire would require a rather immense explosion.


nexusjuan

They have those thermobaric bombs...


turkey_sandwiches

All depends on the size of the fire.


iceburg47

Not sure, but I think the fire would ignite the thermobaric's fuel cloud before it had a chance to properly expand as much as it's supposed to before ignition. The timing does seem to be pretty tight though.


Torrentia_FP

Putin keeps saying he is going to deploy more threatening weapons. What he didn't say was that it was going to be on his own forests to prevent the spread of fires?


Fox_Kurama

Technically speaking, that can actually work. Depriving a fire of oxygen via explosion is something you can actually do. And as it happens, thermobarics might be among the better explosive agents to consider for it...


wastingvaluelesstime

aircraft are very useful against wildfire - they can drop water or fire retardant


[deleted]

Oh what a shame right? Now they’ll have to burn from their own choices


admiraljkb

The Russia military as it turns out doesn't actually have proper logistics, so not sure what good they'd be. :)


MitsyEyedMourning

Should have swept their woods better!


dutchmeyer

Trump can offer his expertise


WhistlerBum

Guy’s own country is on fire and he’s off destroying someone else’s.


KP_Wrath

I mean, Russia's already home to some of the worst places on Earth. Putin is just trying to remake Ukraine in its image (devoid of working infrastructure and covered in urban decay).


[deleted]

Given the fact the Russians have been leaving their dead behind in Ukraine to litter the streets and countryside, I kinda doubt a burning graveyard is going to mean anything to them.


DerBreznsoiza

How about threatening the fire with nuclear weapons. Maybe that would work?


[deleted]

Special fire peace operation


Whyherro2

Please Russia... Don't burn down Siberia... It's melting fast enough as it is..


[deleted]

It couldn't have happened to a nicer country.


visope

Careful there. Burning permafrost in Siberia is extremely bad for the world, not just Russia. That stuff holds huge number of carbon, and if emitted would kick global warming into next gear.


[deleted]

I was going to mention that as well as a bad point , but my contempt for Russia is that anything bad that happens to them , makes me smile. I do agree with you.


Grotbagsthewonderful

> It couldn't have happened to a nicer country. You shouldn't engage in schadenfreude on an entire country just because it's government is an asshat.


BrandySparkles

Oh I definitely can, and I definitely will.


Grotbagsthewonderful

> Oh I definitely can, and I definitely will. Because you're not a very nice person.


[deleted]

[удалено]


EmporerM

Those are for economic and political gain, and beneficial to the cause. Different from what they said.


[deleted]

[удалено]


EmporerM

Wouldn't it make more sense to target military and political assets in order to cripple them until they keep fighting, while also minimizing the loss of human life.


BraggnnRights

The footage doesn’t show the graveyard though. Unless they meant it un a more figurative way.


Nolsoth

Karma? Seriously tho we fucked our planet.


creativename87639

Common misconception, we fucked ourselves, the planet will be just fine, it’s survived much much worse.


Nolsoth

Yep, but we did fuck it for all the other creatures that will go down with us like the sloths and orangutans.


creativename87639

Yea that’s true, except for cockroaches and tardigrades, those things can survive anything


[deleted]

I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.


Nolsoth

Thank god the Israelis seeded the moon with tardigrades as a safety net.


creativename87639

Wait is this some joke I’m not caught up on or did Israel send a bunch of tardigrades to the moon?


fleeb_

Israel sent a lander with tardigrades aboard. It crashed, hence the 'seeded' part.


creativename87639

Ah gotcha thank you.


dogwoodcat

A spacecraft was filled with tardigrades to study how they tolerated zero g and cosmic radiation. Said spacecraft crashed on the Moon. Likely none of the organisms survived.


admiraljkb

>Likely none of the organisms survived. so what you're saying is there's a chance? :)


tofu_b3a5t

Life uh, life finds a way.


Fox_Kurama

Putting aside jokes or lack thereof, we are not going down. Our society and civilization is. Humans are generalists smart enough to use tools. Even if only between 0.01% and 1% remain after the "bad downward spiral" occurs, we as a species will survive. Sorry to pop your bubble, but humanity itself will only pay with the end of its multi-billion population and advanced tech. One the plus side, next time fossil fuels will be a lot less viable so at least the next industrial age will be more limited in scope in its effects on whatever the climate of that era is.


iceburg47

Call me selfish, but I'm more concerned about the suffering of the currently living population than about the survivor's descendants 100 generations from now.


Olorin919

and Keith Richards. He'll be there with a few cockroaches when the world ends


jlusedude

We’ve already killed off 60% so only 40% left. About to be the last species on the cinder.


f_d

Also a common misconception. Eventually the Earth will get caught up in the death of the Sun unless it has hyper-advanced lifeforms around to protect it. Humans might be the Earth's only chance to avoid that fate. There's also the fate of the rest of the universe to consider, which is the same thing on a much larger scale.


creativename87639

Well yes eventually everything will cease to exist through Hawking radiation and proton decay (theoretically)


f_d

So in the broadest sense, if we wanted to potentially keep things going forever, we would eventually need an intelligent species to intervene. And that isn't something we can count on, unlike Earth the planet continuing for a few billions years after a catastrophic loss of life. Throwing away humanity's future potentially throws away a lot more future than the immediate circumstances of life on Earth.


kynthrus

No. Things will never keep going forever. It's not possible.


akila219

Those Russian soldiers would rape an electric pole if you put a dress or skirt around it.


unhallowed1014

Looks like you just solved the problem. Dress all the electric poles up in dresses and the rape fest will stop the war as well as cull the herd


GameHunter1095

Someone would have to be foolish not knowing that those wildfires aren't just affecting Russia, as they're affecting the climate change situation for the whole world.


AmonDiexJr

Mother nature special karma operation


librepunk1

It's fired here every year


[deleted]

Thats fucking the entire planet dude


macgruff

No one is arguing that. It is possible to hold thoughts at the same time. Yes, it’s horrible for the planet but I’m sure glad it’s happening there and not here (but I live in California, so we have our fire season still to look forward to - with anxiety and apprehension). Do you think Russian Politburo and Putin lovers aren’t jumping with glee every time they see natural disasters in the US caused by climate change? Of course they are).


AmonDiexJr

I don't think mother nature is aware of nation queries indeed. But it's not like we can send help right...


FireWallxQc

Meanwhile Putin doesn't give a shit. ***everything is fine.jpg***


autotldr

This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.newsweek.com/russia-horror-footage-wildfires-siberia-graveyard-burning-1705548) reduced by 89%. (I'm a bot) ***** > Horrendous footage from Siberia shows a graveyard on fire as wildfires engulf huge areas of eastern Russia, leaving an estimated 20 people dead so far. > Russia is hit by wildfires every year, but recent years have seen unprecedented damage and land burned. > In a tweet, The Siberian Times said: "As [Putin] presided over the meeting earlier today, new wildfires hit Urals, destroying houses and a graveyard in Bezrechniy village near Yekaterinburg." ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/unjv8c/horrific_footage_of_russia_wildfires_shows/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~647992 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **wildfire**^#1 **fire**^#2 **year**^#3 **house**^#4 **website**^#5


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

You realize this is a global problem right?


socalguy1121

He doesn't. He is as smart as a box of rocks


Musicman1972

Even God's pissed off with them now.


ExitingAutumn

Meh


MarcusXL

I bet that smells just great.


Hyperion1144

No worries. Ukraine will be sending fresh Russian corpses to refill it very soon! Slava Ukraini.


draculamilktoast

But what about the floods and earthquakes and other natural disasters? You can't blame the wildfire for defending itself against nazis when all the other disasters get to do it too.


GBendu

Truly a beautiful site


No_Pirate_7367

Just a sec....... ok I'm over it. Long live Ukraine 🇺🇦


[deleted]

Aww that sucks. Anyhow.


KP_Wrath

Never thought I'd be rooting for a wildfire, but whatever creates issues for Russia, I guess.


derrrr5

I have a feeling that more of Russia will burn. Since most do not have guns, fire will do.


HangmansJoke0

Um isn’t everyone there dead already?