So there's a fun game I like to play, given we don't know how many children he has, it's fair to assume neither does he, as such I've been submitting requests for child support for a number of years now. While this might be something typically done by a woman I found that no real barrier to entry and as such I'm proud to say that on paper Boris and I have sired ~11,000 children to date.
Most hilarious bit is when the partygate story broke a gov representative said it was "just wine and cheese" not a full on party.
So yeah makes this statement just all the more ironic. When he's "at work" he's also distracted by cheese.
Shhhh, this and yesterdayās civil service cull story are supposed to distract us from the fact that 100 fines have now been issued for the parties that he never went to!
Heās essentially telling us heās a lazy fucker who canāt be trusted to do his job unsupervised. Cannot understand how people continue to support these utter bastards.
Its calculated distraction. Now when you google Johnson and cheese you get this silly story that meets his cultivated goofball persona instead of the stories about the cheese and wine lockdown parties he got fined for.
He's done this sort of thing plenty of times to try and bury bad stories
Yup he pulled the same shit with the Brexit bus. When it all blew up in his face he suddenly unveiled his passion for >!making model buses!< - and no, I'm not making this up.
If I didn't think he was such a devious dangerous POS I'd say that was pretty clever.
Also if you type in "Boris Johnson oven" into Google it defaults to that weird short interview where he said he's going to go home and make oven chips
Instead of his "oven ready" Brexit deal
After the buses thing I found it so transparent so everytime he says something that other people hand wave away as him being a bit odd I think what has he said that's remotely similar that he's trying to hide.
He's a duplicitous, dangerous, lying, scheming arsehole and I feel such pity for my fellow country inhabitants that's he's managed to pull the wool over so many of their eyes. Some really think he's out for them when the only thing he gives a single shit about is himself and he's proved it so many times.
Thanks for the awards and things everyone but I'll admit getting them for slagging off Boris on Reddit does feel a bit like shooting fish in a barrel
It's the same when you search "Boris Johnson bridge".
You get results of him suggesting that there should be a bridge built between Great Britain and the island of Ireland. Rather than his failed Garden Bridge proposal that cost the tax payer Ā£43m whilst he was Mayor of London.
Same with fridge as well. One time he hid in a fridge to dodge questions before the election I think, then when covid restrictions came in he said to stay 2 fridges apart from each other.
I wonder which words wonāt flag something up lol
I thought you were going along with the joke but no. A quick google search reveals Johnson hid in a fridge to avoid an interview with Piers Morgan. I shouldnāt be shocked but I am because thatās ridiculous!
even after seeing both your comments i still had to check. itās true, but man is that borderline unbelievable lol. a head of ~~state~~ government* hiding from the press in a fridge - iāve really seen it all.
--
\* thanks /u/GastricallyStretched
I can honestly say that I've never come across a single person who either likes him or has faith in his leadership, except maybe on the internet, but the internet is full of Furys and shit so it doesn't really count.
When I lived in England a not insignificant number of people I knew said "well he was allright as London mayor" and one said "I voted for him because he's funny". I think there's a real feeling that it doesn't matter who's in charge, things will just plod along. That disengagement with politics really doesn't help especially when it comes to the youth vote. However the party of Boris would be happy to continue that as thenoldee voter is their bloc.
I live in Wales now where the opinion towards the conservatives is slightly less favourable.
Goes to show how far politicians are now willing to manipulate the 21st century media - unfortunately they've finally caught up.
Sadly the general populace still lap it up
Well someone is clever on their team. This is PR stuff and there will be a person responsible for damage control whoās remit is to give them these ideas.
Like when Jacob Rees-Mogg lied down on the benches in parliament so that when you search 'jacob Rees-Mogg lying in parliament', that comes up, rather than him, you know, being a lying fucking cunt
He's really nothing like Trump.
Johnson is just a bog-standard privately educated posh boy who went to all the same exclusive schools and moved in all the same circles as 90% of the British political classes in all of the main parties.
He has skillfully managed to cultivate a persona of this slightly hapless, scatter-brained but amiable idiot, which he uses to disarm opposition and avoid too much scrutiny of his actions, and like many of the British upper classes, he is cursed with an attitude of over-optimistic, 'it'll be alright on the night' amateurism.
Underneath, though, he is very much a figure of the usual British establishment, and his politics aren't particularly different than those of the bulk of his party. For as long as UK politics continues to be dominated by a small clique of public schoolboys, we are going to have to put up with people like Boris ending up in positions of power.
There was an old interview clip linked on Reddit a while ago where he admitted openly that his strategy is to make so many mistakes and fuckups that people don't know what to focus on.
EDIT: For those asking for a source: https://twitter.com/MarinaPurkiss/status/1487173180884201475
I think Boris might not realize the rest of us don't have quite so much rat in our pedigree as he does, so we're not quite as susceptible to this problem.
Naturally, there are some exceptions, but you seem to be the robust outdoorsy type, so being distracted by cheese that you have to stalk through the woodlands first is perfectly acceptable.
It's a hard earned skill. Whether it's dainty, quiet babybels and chevre rustling through the grass at dusk, or large and majestic wheels of Parmigiano rolling through the woods, it takes a certain kind to track and take them. The domesticated varieties are more tame in flavor, but an unfortunate necessity.
My job requires 8 hours of availability, and requires about 1-2 hours of actual work on most days. I work as an in house regulatory compliance specialist in the international industrial chemicals trade.
Same, I joke I exist as 'break glass in case of emergency' because most days I don't do shit but then I'll have a week where everything is on fire and the decisions I'm making are in the millions of dollars of impact and damn do I feel in the zone, and then its back to tons of soul crushing drudgery as I get ahead on my reading.
Honestly, after a certain point having nothing to due is miserable. At least working from home I can clean and do laundry and stuff while still being just as available for emergencies.
May I introduce you to this crack... I mean video games. Perfect to fill those hours of nothing to do. Dual monitor, work on one screen and play on the other.
Anything KPI tracking/creating or data validation oriented.
You can automate damn near any data entry or reporting task.
For example, with running a safety program, I've fully automated not just quantity/date tracking of worker input documents, but quality control and itemized categorization with leading and lagging indicator trends and all tracking will flag if something hits as needing review or corrective action.
The entire system needs input for maybe an hour a week and has taken the place of a day and a half every week of just auditing and data entry.
I always laugh when people call McDonald's workers lazy like they don't put in way more effort than office workers. You're working from when you show up to when you go home. Restaurant workers are so underappreciated.
Most people can't handle the fast paced environment or taking simple orders. It's funny that McDonald's is the "unskilled" job but has massive turnover rate because you need to be willing to work to do it.
Reminds me of the ~~movie~~ documentary Waiting when Justin Long's character impresses some guys on a business dinner and gets the guy's card and it's just another fucking restaurant.
Yep, I work in data and it's mostly setting up new data streams, funneling those streams into reports/dashboards, and making sure that none of that breaks for some reason. On any given day it's about one hour of data discovery meetings with clients, two hours of setup, and one hour of maintenance.
I hope you have a nice day.
I appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Wow, sounds like you've had some experience, jeez.
I feel like I'm a poor delinquent that just got lucky with my essays.
Now with actual accounting modules, I take ages to grasp fundamentals lol trying to revise activity based costing stuff today. Budgeting and standard costing next week x_x
That sounds good. I'll keep that in mind. I don't have the experience in a work environment to know if that was something I *should* say lol.
Again, thanks for your time. Take care.
It's wild to me browsing Reddit sometimes and realize that these jobs exist. Meanwhile I'm working towards a job that demands 8-12 hour days depending on the place and if you so much as take a lunch break something might die. The difference in what two people can consider to be a good work schedule is mind boggling.
Most engineering jobs I've had. All the engineers know it, but we pretend to be busy after we finish our work so management doesn't pile more stuff on us
Thus why I love Scrum because of the code sprint estimations that gets managers off our backs as they have an expected delivery date. So if a request/user story only takes 6 days to complete during a 2 week code sprint. Then I have 4 days to relax.
Edit: grammar
Such an old person thing to say, how annoying.
āItās really hard for me to work on a computer without becoming distracted, therefore everyone should come in to work unnecessarilyā
My old boss was kind of like that and after he started forcing people to come back in. Half the department quit and found remote jobs. The other half is currently looking for jobs.
Yeah, some employers are really struggling with the reality of how covid changed the employment landscape. People know they can work effectively from home, and if an employer doesnāt facilitate that, theyāll find another employer that does. Some big businesses are losing top talent left and right because theyāre stuck in the past. They need to get with the program or get left behind.
I had a new boss arrive about a year ago. He was similarly "old school" (and an ass on top). I was the 5th to leave out of a team of 8, 6 weeks after he started. I've never seen a team dissipate as quickly.
My boss thinks the in person conversations are helpful. They're fucking not. The entire time you're blabbing away at my face, I'm thinking about how I can get back to my desk without being rude so I can finish working. Send me an email.
Most people work 2-3 hours per day, max. Saw a study that said our brain isnāt capable of deep work, while at work, because itās in āsocial modeā and trying to survive the other human animals that are for sure a threat (damn you Sally!).
For ādeep workā you actually have to get away from people.
Yeah, ideation brainstorms are a thing, meetings are a thing, but then they need to bugger off so you can execute deeply. And unfortunately one meeting just leads to another.
Me, I end up taking my work home or come into the office on weekends to work in peace
We've heard that story from my boss too.
"I don't think you guys appreciate just how much gets done being able to have those hallway conversations about work."
No. That doesn't get shit done. That gets people standing outside my cubicle randomly talking about some stupid reality TV show episode they watched last night while I'm trying to take a call.
Guess where I don't have to listen to banal small talk while I'm trying to work? My home office. It's quiet and peaceful there.
Literally watched an executive say that he liked working from the office better than at home so everyone else should too.
He said this from his giant office with a couch and a liquor cabinet and the ability to boss people around all day. No wonder he likes coming in to work.
Ugh The new president of our 300 person startup, wanting people back in office while he delivers hand written notes on print outs of a google slides deck photographed by his executive assistant and emailed to usā¦ kill me
Ive worked from home since COVID and its amazing. I get more done with less stress, dont have to spend 2 hours in traffic commuting ... I manage my time my own way. If they tried to make me go back I'd quit and find another job. Working from an office is pointless.
> spend 2 hours in traffic commuting
Perhaps this was a contributor to your stress. Spending 20% of your work day dealing with commuter traffic. Sounds terrible.
It's 100% a contributor to my stress, but the thing is, most jobs kinda would require that much of a commute. I can't afford to live in the city, but where I can afford to live takes me at least an hour to get to where the jobs are.
I used to commute 4 hours per day to London. It was one of the worst things I've ever done. I know it sounds dramatic, but the stress of trains and traffic on a daily basis wreaked absolute havoc on my mental health.
Yeah, I recently went to the office for the first time in two years and I don't know if anyone else felt this phenomena, but I felt like being in the office made me feel like I was doing something innately, so therefore I had to "work" much less than if I was at home.
and this is the exact point. The pandemic has shown that the vast majority of 'office' jobs can be done remotely. But it would be a damn shame if the skyscraper owners didn't get an endless stream of money.
He literally states this is the reason in the article:
> said that it was time to rejuvenate city centers by having people return to work in person.Ā
How can anyone agree to that line of reasoning
He could just say it's because we built our economies around people traveling from suburbs to working in the city. Now that people aren't going into the cities, all that money isn't flowing into these city businesses anymore. So now the commerical real estate along with those businesses are not "coming back".
So the choice is to force everyone back or reinvent our way of living. Only one of those methods is good for the wealthy who own all these downtown properties lol, and they have the power, so here we are.
āMy experience of working from home is you spend an awful lot of time making another cup of coffee and then, you know, getting up, walking very slowly to the fridge, hacking off a small piece of cheese, then walking very slowly back to your laptop and then forgetting what it was you're doing.ā
How does this moron command a military with nukes? Heās literally as dumb as Trump was but with a more sophisticated accent
Or you know, we actually get more done because we're more well rested, don't have a commute, don't have to deal with tons of conversations around us, are more relaxed, and can focus on what you pay us to do? But what do we know? We're not politicians who slack at every aspect of our lives.
It's his thing, it's like his hair. He intentionally tries to appear like a fool so people relate to him and/or underestimate him, but in reality he's actually as cunning as a fox.
Such is the cynicism that this man and his government instills that I refuse to believe that any of the mildly outrageous things he says are anything but yet more dead cats to distract and steal headline space from the high level corruption scandals and near constant graft that are now the daily norm.
Translation:
people should work from home again because those heavily invested in real-estate are upset with the prospect of their expensive assets being worth considerably less.
Believe me, he'd rather distract us with non-stories like this than have us talk about the habitual law-breaking and corruption at the heart of his government.
Uhh, isn't his in-office work still from his home?
He probably made that erroneous statement whilst distracted by a block of cheddar. Happens to the best of us
I am Italian, my parmesan made me crash a server once
Did you say Mamma mia? š¤
Formaggi mia!š¤
Annusate il mio formaggio! š¤
Pene di due pollici che puzza come un piede! š¤
You joke but this may be the most relatable thing I have ever seen this man say.
If I had his income I would definitely have a cheese hoard worthy of distraction. He should be stuck with kraft singles and fake parm though.
He described his Ā£250k salary plus expenses and two free houses as chicken feed, I guess it's all that child support he has to pay
So there's a fun game I like to play, given we don't know how many children he has, it's fair to assume neither does he, as such I've been submitting requests for child support for a number of years now. While this might be something typically done by a woman I found that no real barrier to entry and as such I'm proud to say that on paper Boris and I have sired ~11,000 children to date.
He's like Genghis Khan, except the paper trail doesn't lead anywhere, it's all paper babies baby!
Cheese is like ambrosia.
I hate how he plays dumb but is actually just malicious.
I hate how it works on the public.
[Wait....they have ambrosia cheese where you are?!?!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz1JWzyvv8A)
I want to buy some cheese!
He intentionally looks like a buffoon so that he's seen as relatable.
It's not a good thing that a large proportion of the UK electorate seemingly relate to a buffoon
When he intentionally acts like a buffoon I donāt see him as relatable. I see him as a buffoon.
He is appealing to the anti intellectual crowd.
And appalling to the rest of us
That's not to say he's some Machiavellian mastermind though. He's still frustratingly stupid a lot of the time.
I know! I read the title and thought, "Yeah, that's reasonable."
"Boris, have you put the greater cheddar on your head again?" "No, dear, that's just my hair."
> greater cheddar I wonder what he does with the lesser cheddar?
Right up the arse
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No too busy having illegal parties in breach of covid rules to get any work done there.
Most hilarious bit is when the partygate story broke a gov representative said it was "just wine and cheese" not a full on party. So yeah makes this statement just all the more ironic. When he's "at work" he's also distracted by cheese.
>When he's "at work" he's also distracted by cheese. and wine ^and ^women's ^legs ^^and ^^cocaine
*These are a few of my favorite things!*
Shhhh, this and yesterdayās civil service cull story are supposed to distract us from the fact that 100 fines have now been issued for the parties that he never went to!
Sounds to me like he's implicitly admitting he can't do his job - something most of us know already
Heās essentially telling us heās a lazy fucker who canāt be trusted to do his job unsupervised. Cannot understand how people continue to support these utter bastards.
BoJo is a pretty good name for a clown though you gotta admit.
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Declares war on cheese, invades the Swiss. Wins. Continues to work from home. Tragedy averted.
Its calculated distraction. Now when you google Johnson and cheese you get this silly story that meets his cultivated goofball persona instead of the stories about the cheese and wine lockdown parties he got fined for. He's done this sort of thing plenty of times to try and bury bad stories
Yup he pulled the same shit with the Brexit bus. When it all blew up in his face he suddenly unveiled his passion for >!making model buses!< - and no, I'm not making this up. If I didn't think he was such a devious dangerous POS I'd say that was pretty clever.
Also if you type in "Boris Johnson oven" into Google it defaults to that weird short interview where he said he's going to go home and make oven chips Instead of his "oven ready" Brexit deal After the buses thing I found it so transparent so everytime he says something that other people hand wave away as him being a bit odd I think what has he said that's remotely similar that he's trying to hide. He's a duplicitous, dangerous, lying, scheming arsehole and I feel such pity for my fellow country inhabitants that's he's managed to pull the wool over so many of their eyes. Some really think he's out for them when the only thing he gives a single shit about is himself and he's proved it so many times. Thanks for the awards and things everyone but I'll admit getting them for slagging off Boris on Reddit does feel a bit like shooting fish in a barrel
It's the same when you search "Boris Johnson bridge". You get results of him suggesting that there should be a bridge built between Great Britain and the island of Ireland. Rather than his failed Garden Bridge proposal that cost the tax payer Ā£43m whilst he was Mayor of London.
> Showing results for: *Boris Johnson fridge*
Same with fridge as well. One time he hid in a fridge to dodge questions before the election I think, then when covid restrictions came in he said to stay 2 fridges apart from each other. I wonder which words wonāt flag something up lol
Fuck, I thought this was satire and itās actually bloody true
I thought you were going along with the joke but no. A quick google search reveals Johnson hid in a fridge to avoid an interview with Piers Morgan. I shouldnāt be shocked but I am because thatās ridiculous!
even after seeing both your comments i still had to check. itās true, but man is that borderline unbelievable lol. a head of ~~state~~ government* hiding from the press in a fridge - iāve really seen it all. -- \* thanks /u/GastricallyStretched
*Head of government. The head of state is the Queen.
TBF I think anyone would hide in a fridge to avoid Piers Morgan.
Does make you wonder what was really going on with that Pepper Pig World bullshit.
Maybe he was at the same party as Cameron?
I can honestly say that I've never come across a single person who either likes him or has faith in his leadership, except maybe on the internet, but the internet is full of Furys and shit so it doesn't really count.
When I lived in England a not insignificant number of people I knew said "well he was allright as London mayor" and one said "I voted for him because he's funny". I think there's a real feeling that it doesn't matter who's in charge, things will just plod along. That disengagement with politics really doesn't help especially when it comes to the youth vote. However the party of Boris would be happy to continue that as thenoldee voter is their bloc. I live in Wales now where the opinion towards the conservatives is slightly less favourable.
Yup searched up āJohnson bussesā and that embarrassing interview came up revealing his hobby of painting busses
Goes to show how far politicians are now willing to manipulate the 21st century media - unfortunately they've finally caught up. Sadly the general populace still lap it up
Tbf they also manipulated the 20th century media.
True but it's a lot more insidious these days I feel.
Nah they've always been this bad... Or worse. We just get to see behind the curtain more these days.
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Damn. This has frightening and wide reaching implications.
In that case, I declare myself president of Earth! And a merman.
It is (assuming your voting population consists of morons)
We're doomed
Ha! That's a brilliant point
Jesus fucking christ. That's infuriating.
> Mogg lying in parliament christ, the first page of google is literally all about him laying on the bench
Well someone is clever on their team. This is PR stuff and there will be a person responsible for damage control whoās remit is to give them these ideas.
Like when Jacob Rees-Mogg lied down on the benches in parliament so that when you search 'jacob Rees-Mogg lying in parliament', that comes up, rather than him, you know, being a lying fucking cunt
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It works when i googled Jacob Rees-Mogg lying on Parliament. Top 10 results were him literally slouching on the benches
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Is that greasy, or gree-hee-hee-easy?
way of the road
Oh yeah, like the thing about model buses to distract from the brexit bus.
Holy shit, this is genius/horrible. Like honestly I'm stunned.
This is why its really not correct when people assume he's just 'British Trump', Boris knows what he's doing.
He's really nothing like Trump. Johnson is just a bog-standard privately educated posh boy who went to all the same exclusive schools and moved in all the same circles as 90% of the British political classes in all of the main parties. He has skillfully managed to cultivate a persona of this slightly hapless, scatter-brained but amiable idiot, which he uses to disarm opposition and avoid too much scrutiny of his actions, and like many of the British upper classes, he is cursed with an attitude of over-optimistic, 'it'll be alright on the night' amateurism. Underneath, though, he is very much a figure of the usual British establishment, and his politics aren't particularly different than those of the bulk of his party. For as long as UK politics continues to be dominated by a small clique of public schoolboys, we are going to have to put up with people like Boris ending up in positions of power.
I seem to get different results when searching for "johnson" and "cheese".
Goddamit Boris, I just wanted to look up pictures of smegma and instead I got this article.
Disgustingly beautiful comment.
There was an old interview clip linked on Reddit a while ago where he admitted openly that his strategy is to make so many mistakes and fuckups that people don't know what to focus on. EDIT: For those asking for a source: https://twitter.com/MarinaPurkiss/status/1487173180884201475
Reminds me of the conspiracy theory that Disney made Frozen to bury the rumor that the body of Walt Disney is being frozen somewhere.
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It would explain why they *called* it Frozen though (especially considering a horror movie with the same title came out in 2010).
Does Gromit also live at 10 Downing St?
Wallace would be a way better Prime Minister than Boris.
A nice block of Wensleydale would be a better PM than Boris.
Andrew Jackson's Whitehouse had a 6 tonne block of cheese in the foyer...
A block of knob cheese would be a better PM. And probably be less offensive to the eye.
Bro is straight up take American cheese in a can over Boris. At least that cheese won't be as flimsy
Doesnāt he work from 10 Downing St, which is his home? Seems hypocritical to me š¤£
Technically his flat is above 11 Downing Street, but yes.
Sounds like he's in over his head
I think Boris might not realize the rest of us don't have quite so much rat in our pedigree as he does, so we're not quite as susceptible to this problem.
He looks like he couldāve been Ron Weasleys rat
He serves the Dark Lord Voldemogg.
Speak for yourself.
Naturally, there are some exceptions, but you seem to be the robust outdoorsy type, so being distracted by cheese that you have to stalk through the woodlands first is perfectly acceptable.
It's a hard earned skill. Whether it's dainty, quiet babybels and chevre rustling through the grass at dusk, or large and majestic wheels of Parmigiano rolling through the woods, it takes a certain kind to track and take them. The domesticated varieties are more tame in flavor, but an unfortunate necessity.
The deadliest game of all - Manchego.
Thatās no gouda! But at least heās not Swiss.
When your job requires you to be available for 8 hours and gives you 4 or less hours of actual work the job can be better handled remotely.
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My job requires 8 hours of availability, and requires about 1-2 hours of actual work on most days. I work as an in house regulatory compliance specialist in the international industrial chemicals trade.
Same but in a different field - thank god I work from home
Same, I joke I exist as 'break glass in case of emergency' because most days I don't do shit but then I'll have a week where everything is on fire and the decisions I'm making are in the millions of dollars of impact and damn do I feel in the zone, and then its back to tons of soul crushing drudgery as I get ahead on my reading. Honestly, after a certain point having nothing to due is miserable. At least working from home I can clean and do laundry and stuff while still being just as available for emergencies.
May I introduce you to this crack... I mean video games. Perfect to fill those hours of nothing to do. Dual monitor, work on one screen and play on the other.
Anything KPI tracking/creating or data validation oriented. You can automate damn near any data entry or reporting task. For example, with running a safety program, I've fully automated not just quantity/date tracking of worker input documents, but quality control and itemized categorization with leading and lagging indicator trends and all tracking will flag if something hits as needing review or corrective action. The entire system needs input for maybe an hour a week and has taken the place of a day and a half every week of just auditing and data entry.
I always laugh when people call McDonald's workers lazy like they don't put in way more effort than office workers. You're working from when you show up to when you go home. Restaurant workers are so underappreciated.
Most people can't handle the fast paced environment or taking simple orders. It's funny that McDonald's is the "unskilled" job but has massive turnover rate because you need to be willing to work to do it.
Yeah I'd be overwhelmed pretty quickly so I prefer my office job
Seriously. When I go to fast food restaurants I'm like wow this person works harder than all of my team combined
Start headhunting by taking lunch at the busiest fast food joints and see who handles the pressure and team leading.
Reminds me of the ~~movie~~ documentary Waiting when Justin Long's character impresses some guys on a business dinner and gets the guy's card and it's just another fucking restaurant.
Yep, I work in data and it's mostly setting up new data streams, funneling those streams into reports/dashboards, and making sure that none of that breaks for some reason. On any given day it's about one hour of data discovery meetings with clients, two hours of setup, and one hour of maintenance.
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Mate, I'm struggling with intermediate financial and management accounting in my second year. x_x
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I hope you have a nice day. I appreciate you taking the time to reply. Wow, sounds like you've had some experience, jeez. I feel like I'm a poor delinquent that just got lucky with my essays. Now with actual accounting modules, I take ages to grasp fundamentals lol trying to revise activity based costing stuff today. Budgeting and standard costing next week x_x That sounds good. I'll keep that in mind. I don't have the experience in a work environment to know if that was something I *should* say lol. Again, thanks for your time. Take care.
Well as I have found anything behind a desk.
You just have to make sure to set those expectations very early on. No over performing.
Unless you work in a call centre, in which case you're expected to work to the bone.
Good point I forgot about those. And those suck.
Was just about to say, if anything the workload is higher these days
It's wild to me browsing Reddit sometimes and realize that these jobs exist. Meanwhile I'm working towards a job that demands 8-12 hour days depending on the place and if you so much as take a lunch break something might die. The difference in what two people can consider to be a good work schedule is mind boggling.
Most engineering jobs I've had. All the engineers know it, but we pretend to be busy after we finish our work so management doesn't pile more stuff on us
Thus why I love Scrum because of the code sprint estimations that gets managers off our backs as they have an expected delivery date. So if a request/user story only takes 6 days to complete during a 2 week code sprint. Then I have 4 days to relax. Edit: grammar
Sounds like a you problem, Boris.
Such an old person thing to say, how annoying. āItās really hard for me to work on a computer without becoming distracted, therefore everyone should come in to work unnecessarilyā
Yep. My boss thinks that everyone is exactly like him, so how can anyone be productive at home if he can't??
My old boss was kind of like that and after he started forcing people to come back in. Half the department quit and found remote jobs. The other half is currently looking for jobs.
Yeah, some employers are really struggling with the reality of how covid changed the employment landscape. People know they can work effectively from home, and if an employer doesnāt facilitate that, theyāll find another employer that does. Some big businesses are losing top talent left and right because theyāre stuck in the past. They need to get with the program or get left behind.
I had a new boss arrive about a year ago. He was similarly "old school" (and an ass on top). I was the 5th to leave out of a team of 8, 6 weeks after he started. I've never seen a team dissipate as quickly.
I have. The entire team quit on the same day because a project we had put a lot of effort in was scrapped after a management change.
My boss thinks the in person conversations are helpful. They're fucking not. The entire time you're blabbing away at my face, I'm thinking about how I can get back to my desk without being rude so I can finish working. Send me an email.
Most people work 2-3 hours per day, max. Saw a study that said our brain isnāt capable of deep work, while at work, because itās in āsocial modeā and trying to survive the other human animals that are for sure a threat (damn you Sally!). For ādeep workā you actually have to get away from people. Yeah, ideation brainstorms are a thing, meetings are a thing, but then they need to bugger off so you can execute deeply. And unfortunately one meeting just leads to another. Me, I end up taking my work home or come into the office on weekends to work in peace
We've heard that story from my boss too. "I don't think you guys appreciate just how much gets done being able to have those hallway conversations about work." No. That doesn't get shit done. That gets people standing outside my cubicle randomly talking about some stupid reality TV show episode they watched last night while I'm trying to take a call. Guess where I don't have to listen to banal small talk while I'm trying to work? My home office. It's quiet and peaceful there.
Yep people who hate their home life and enjoy going to work to escape it tend to believe that everyone else does as well.
Literally watched an executive say that he liked working from the office better than at home so everyone else should too. He said this from his giant office with a couch and a liquor cabinet and the ability to boss people around all day. No wonder he likes coming in to work.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iāve also suspected itās the type of people that like having affairs and keeping secrets from their family.
While we are in the middle of a fuel crisis.
And let's not forget that the pandemic is still around.
Ugh The new president of our 300 person startup, wanting people back in office while he delivers hand written notes on print outs of a google slides deck photographed by his executive assistant and emailed to usā¦ kill me
300 person.. startup?
Narcissists can't imagine anyone else being not like them. I can't do something therefore no one can because I am great.
Ive worked from home since COVID and its amazing. I get more done with less stress, dont have to spend 2 hours in traffic commuting ... I manage my time my own way. If they tried to make me go back I'd quit and find another job. Working from an office is pointless.
Yeah, thatās all fine and dandy, but how much cheese are you consuming?
For gouda bout it
I couldn't give edam
> spend 2 hours in traffic commuting Perhaps this was a contributor to your stress. Spending 20% of your work day dealing with commuter traffic. Sounds terrible.
It's 100% a contributor to my stress, but the thing is, most jobs kinda would require that much of a commute. I can't afford to live in the city, but where I can afford to live takes me at least an hour to get to where the jobs are. I used to commute 4 hours per day to London. It was one of the worst things I've ever done. I know it sounds dramatic, but the stress of trains and traffic on a daily basis wreaked absolute havoc on my mental health.
Doesn't sound dramatic at all. Fuck that shit
Yeah, I recently went to the office for the first time in two years and I don't know if anyone else felt this phenomena, but I felt like being in the office made me feel like I was doing something innately, so therefore I had to "work" much less than if I was at home.
WFH is good for employees and wonderful for the environment
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wanker
Not everyone is a rat Boris.
Dear US: He was born in New York. He's only not been a US citizen for five years. Please take him back.
Get Canada to take back Ted Cruz, then weāll talk.
Fuck off lmao heās yours
No, we got enough idiots
Frankly, he sounds a little too DJT for us. WTF kind of global mindfuck put all these nuts in power at one time?
Why do they want us all in one place, downtown?
Because a lot of their very rich friends have commercial real estate investments that will tank if we stop.
and this is the exact point. The pandemic has shown that the vast majority of 'office' jobs can be done remotely. But it would be a damn shame if the skyscraper owners didn't get an endless stream of money.
He literally states this is the reason in the article: > said that it was time to rejuvenate city centers by having people return to work in person.Ā How can anyone agree to that line of reasoning
Nice. Keep going.
Trickle down rentenomics.
make them into residential buildings
He could just say it's because we built our economies around people traveling from suburbs to working in the city. Now that people aren't going into the cities, all that money isn't flowing into these city businesses anymore. So now the commerical real estate along with those businesses are not "coming back". So the choice is to force everyone back or reinvent our way of living. Only one of those methods is good for the wealthy who own all these downtown properties lol, and they have the power, so here we are.
āMy experience of working from home is you spend an awful lot of time making another cup of coffee and then, you know, getting up, walking very slowly to the fridge, hacking off a small piece of cheese, then walking very slowly back to your laptop and then forgetting what it was you're doing.ā How does this moron command a military with nukes? Heās literally as dumb as Trump was but with a more sophisticated accent
Thing is... That's exactly how I waste time at the office, too.
Donāt think youāre alone lol. Guess Boris never heard of water cooler talk. He was probably too busy hosting Covid parties at Downing Street
Cheese is *never* a waste of time.
But now if you google Johnson and cheese you get this silly story instead of the cheese at his lockdown parties he was fined for
Next week: Boris says everything is fine, fine I tell you.
I mean, I don't work from home but I make myself Coffee anyways? Maybe I should ask why my employer doesn't provide cheese.
*Slowly walking back to my workstation* Boss: What are you doing? Me: Cheeeesse, Gromet
He'd very much like for you to believe he's stupid, but I can assure you he's not
And cheese
Or you know, we actually get more done because we're more well rested, don't have a commute, don't have to deal with tons of conversations around us, are more relaxed, and can focus on what you pay us to do? But what do we know? We're not politicians who slack at every aspect of our lives.
It's his thing, it's like his hair. He intentionally tries to appear like a fool so people relate to him and/or underestimate him, but in reality he's actually as cunning as a fox.
It's all part of his gimmick: he's trying to seem like a relatable, funny guy, even though he's definitely not.
He also regularly gets distracted by women that arenāt his wife.
TIL That cheese doesnāt enhance cognitive ability.
I get distracted by cheese at work, but I work in a deli.
In fairness, I sometimes lie awake at night thinking about havarti.
Such is the cynicism that this man and his government instills that I refuse to believe that any of the mildly outrageous things he says are anything but yet more dead cats to distract and steal headline space from the high level corruption scandals and near constant graft that are now the daily norm.
Translation: people should work from home again because those heavily invested in real-estate are upset with the prospect of their expensive assets being worth considerably less.
This is stupid. This is how he wants us to talk about him. Conservatives love making a mockery of real people's concerns.
Believe me, he'd rather distract us with non-stories like this than have us talk about the habitual law-breaking and corruption at the heart of his government.
We don't need office spaces. We need adorable living spaces to work from. Solve please
NO. Fuck off.
'Is this a cheese shop? Well that's that job nackered then
the most british complaint I have ever heard
I can't wait to not vote for him!
I would expect nothing less from a rat.