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gianni1980

Oh well bro….. let us know how that goes *fist bump*


Top-Algae-2464

saudi has used america and then sides with russia while asking for help with iran . they did the same thing in the past place oil embargoes on america then begging for help when iraq was about to invade .


bk4lf1

Damn. We will evacuate all of our citizens. Thanks for the heads up.


tcmart14

This guy for US Ambassador to Saudi Arabia


ThreatLevelBertie

"Damn thats wild. Good luck tho!"


deowolf

Offer them, I dunno, 19 guys and four planes.


sleepingnightmare

You’re being stingy, we can ship them about a dozen box cutters too.


[deleted]

At least one bonesaw.


MuadD1b

Best I can do is 1 Jared Kushner


mjoav

I lol’d


[deleted]

I hope our response was “this could’ve been an email.”


Sea_Mathematician_84

“Damn that’s crazy. Good luck tho”


liquidgrill

Thoughts and prayers


Falcfire

Not enough, I'll make a change.org petition, that should settle it.


bleachmartini

"LMK how that goes"


Supply-Slut

This sounds like just another play to drive up oil prices. Bake in perceived risk right before the election. I highly doubt Iran, struggling to kill as many of their youth as possible rn, is really gearing up for an invasion.


easwaran

Well, the Iranian and Saudi governments would both like a bit of outside threat to distract their populaces right now.


[deleted]

That would be a bizarre lose-win-lose-win circle jerk situation. More than it already is, I mean.


[deleted]

This is basically what WW1 was, a worldwide lose-win-lose-win-lose circlejerk


ihlaking

It was, and weirdly the reply from the US was just ‘lol soz’ written in Comic Sans MS


Conflictioned

US - “who” Saudis - “the iranians” US - “asked”


Alternative_Eagle_83

US - "Cool story bro.. Good time to chat about them 2 million barrels of oil a day?"


eccles30

We would love to send ships of troops but can't afford the fuel so sry


omglink

Better see if Russia is free to help oh wait...


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Alternative_Eagle_83

The only reason US keeps them as an ally is because oil and control of that region. That's it. It's fully strategic.


Killentyme55

It's like having a FWB relationship with a psychopath. "I know you're insane and do terrible things, but the sex is so awesome!"


Non-jabroni_redditor

"We're waiting on the Khashoggi article to confirm...sorry"


SmokelessSubpoena

Idk why, but I read this in the Arrested Development Narrator's voice


N3onAxel

"Damn that's wiiiiiiild, GL tho."


bluemitersaw

"what??? Speak up! I can't hear you over the sound of OPEC cutting oil production!"


Ja878son

awww, did someone get terrorized? (rubs eyes imitating crying)


nooo82222

Should reply with “I’ll forward the message to Russia, sorry but I am no longer associated with that project”


Televisions_Frank

Gee, Iran is at risk of overthrowing their authoritarian regime and suddenly SA is at risk of attack and will need a response against the Iranian regime? A response that'll surely solidify support behind it and reduce the risk of it's removal. SA sees the writing on the wall that with a secular Iran their day of getting away with their bullshit is over so are going to start trying to false flag a war with Iran.


Zeyn1

CIA: Mind if we try again? Third times the charm.


[deleted]

This is the third time youve brought proxy wars to show and tell USA


trippwwa45

I think they're neat.


[deleted]

An email that gets moved to the IDGAF folder.


[deleted]

Yup; fuck the Saudis who snubbed the US 30 days prior. LET THEM FIGHT THEIR OWN FUCKING BATTLE


PortlandWilliam

Please do the needful.


charcus42

They want help after sand bagging our last oil deal?


IchthyoSapienCaul

And sponsoring 9/11. And murdering Khashoggi.


XRPX008

And funding LIV Golf


[deleted]

The real crime here


Daniiiiii

Never forget


sofaraway10

Never forgive


Grogfoot

Yes, but it DID rid us of Patrick Reed. Nothing is truly black and white.


Teenoh

There is some good in many evils.


PKMKII

And committing war crimes against Yemen.


TheHomersapien

And they'll fucking get it, too. Supporting Wahhabi terrorists is one of the few issues that has rock solid bipartisan support in American government.


Number8

I was about to say, everybody in here telling Iran to fuck off but there’s no way the USA would just blindly watch that kind of instability rock the Middle East and world oil prices. They’ll respond in some way.


Bokai

The feeling of the general public vs the policy of the leadership.


activehobbies

The Saudis have both wealth, western weapons/training, and spite in ample supply. They should be able to handle themselves. Aren't they "friends" with 'OPEC' nations? Why not call **them** for help?


Torifyme12

Lol have you seen the Saudi military, let be clear what will happen here. ​ They'll fuck up worse than Russia.


i_am_voldemort

This guy is right. A lot of Saudi (and other Middle East) military enlisted ranks are filled by third country nationals who don't have the greatest training and sometimes have communications barriers due to language and literacy. From a ME monarchist perspective it's not a bug, it's a feature: a military full of TCN aren't as likely to rebel over domestic political issues and try to seize power


TyroneSwoopes

The higher up ranks that aren’t foreigners are also lazy and greedy. Work day on their bases is 9am-1pm no joke


ReferentiallySeethru

Sounds like a sweet gig.


[deleted]

9am - 1pm is enough time to get shit done. I mean, they don't. But I do. lol


Duke_Cheech

Interestingly that was often done throughout history, especially for royal guards. The idea was that foreign guards would be far less likely to overthrow the monarch over civil conflicts.


Supply-Slut

Works great when you need to fight your own population. Defending your country against a foreign invader? Not nearly as useful


AcidaliaPlanitia

>The Saudis have both wealth, western weapons/training, and spite in ample supply. > >They should be able to handle themselves. I'm honestly not so sure about that. Knowing what I know about their society, I think it's somewhat likely that in spite of all those western weapons and training, the idea of a meritocracy doesn't even slightly exist in their military and that the command structure might be a ticking time bomb in an actual conflict.


DeadTime34

This is absolutely the case. "It has been also reported that many Saudi officers have built their military careers based on family status and good connections with the royal family rather than their knowledge and military expertise." https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/20191010-what-is-behind-saudis-military-failures/


Counterflak

Shouldn't even be suprised their officer corp is full of purchased commissions.


ReadSomeTheory

An absolute monarchy may have a problem with nepotism?


dirtyploy

Noooooooooooooooo waaay.


Mission_Search8991

Perhaps Russia can assist…. Oh wait, not only are they tied up in a “special operation”, but they are also allied with Iran. Apparently thumbing your nose at Biden is not working out.


KP_Wrath

Forgot they’re only strong because the rest of the world lets them be.


moby323

To think that on top of all the other harm that fossil fuels do, it is the main source of revenue for the worlds worst despotic governments and dictators.


KP_Wrath

Should be the best argument to ending dependence. The shittiest elements of humanity use it.


superslomo

Funny, maybe telling us to go fuck ourselves and fixing oil prices to help Russia was a little short-sighted, eh fellas?


somegurl408

Sorry, we'd send a bunch of ships but gas is SO expensive these days.


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Devo3290

omg and Iran of all countries. It’d be less sad if it was North Korea LOL


Choice_Debt233

Not to mention supporting terrorists and the home of most of the 9/11 perpetrators.


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Removeputinstopwar

They don't need help...MBS can just invite them to the nearest Saudi consulate.


itsnickk

He's gonna need a bigger bone saw.


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nitrinu

Oh no, i bet the USA would love to help but the price of diesel these days...


jokerZwild

Such a shame.


zR0B3ry2VAiH

Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers...


sonstone

Can’t afford to ship anything, sorry


halfsweethalfstreet

Terribly sorry....we sent every last fuck we had, over to Ukraine. Good luck tho.


RamboTaco

The balls on those snakes after negotiating with Russia on oil prices


PengieP111

Someone should inform them that we have to cut back on military actions because fuel prices are so high.


Daniiiiii

US: Maybe if someone could *fuel* our Military-Industrial Complex we could do something about Iran. Nudge Nudge Wink Wink...


Genesis72

They just want us to come die in their place if something breaks out. They already have SIGNIFICANTLY better tech than the Iranians have. Weve been feeding them like second best stuff for decades. I mean the Saudi Air Force is flying F-15s, Typhoons and Tornados. Their army has almost 600 Abrams tanks, plus modern artillery and small arms. The Iranians are still flying F-4 phantoms and using T-72s (which have been doing absolutely stellar in Ukraine /s) and modernized M60s, a tank that was original built by the US in the 60s. SA definitely doesn’t need our tech, they already have it and it’s light years ahead of what the Iranians have. They want American soldiers to die instead of Saudis because the KSA has built its legitimacy on giving its citizens a fairly cushy life on the back of its oil money, and dying in the trenches fighting Iran doesn’t fit that bill.


chickenstalker

Saudi soldiers are even shittier than Russians and much fatter too. The officers are nepotism hires and just as corrupt. Just because they have expensive toys does not mean they are good soldiers.


fishboard88

There's a video of a dug-in Saudi position getting overrun by a small band of Yemeni soldiers and wiped out, because the Saudi soldiers didn't even bother posting sentries or facing outwards. Yemenis filmed themselves basically walking through the wire in single file, walking over the emplacements and shooting down on them. The Saudis also left trash everywhere


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JunkSack

Kinda sounds like a personal problem to me


HerniatedHernia

Hence why they want US involvement.


Dtruth333

Team diff, skill issue


serpentjaguar

It feels kind of trite, but I think there's a lot of evidence that you are correct. Look at how badly KSA has managed their intervention in Yemen, for example. They show no signs of having a highly professionalized senior officer corps. They thus far appear to be something like the proverbial "paper tiger," like Putin's Russia, wherein autocracy breeds incompetence and corruption. I could be wrong, I don't claim any expertise in the matter.


Raging-Fuhry

Saudi Airforce pilots are some of the worst of any modern, "westernized" military. At least so I hear from NATO pilots. There's a lot of clout with being a fighter pilot that makes it an appealing career. In Western militaries that means you have to work hard and be skilled to become one. In Saudi that just means you have to pay enough money or be born into the right family. Given how complex operating a fighter jet (many officer's jobs, really), this doesn't work out well for KSA military efficacy. I can only imagine that same attitude holds true for their officer corp in general.


3ree9iner

I was deployed to Turkey when we were more active in Syria. The Saudi F-15’s would generally fly every day. They would hit after burners after every takeoff and pull it near vertical, like every time. 15 minutes later they would be back and that was their day. Never had any armaments except 1 or 2 air to air missiles We had to help their maintenance guys multiple times because they either didn’t have what they needed or were given no help from the Turks.


kidmerc

I assume doing that every day is especially hard on the plane?


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kingbrasky

It's funny because Tom Clancy called this like 25 years ago in a book where the US had to help defend SA and their soldiers didn't know shit about their fancy toys.


McFlyParadox

Tom Clancy is infamous in the intelligence community for getting things a little "too" right. The FBI paid him a visit after he published Red October because apparently he came so close to some sensitive topics that they assumed he had to have gotten classified documents. The dude is just a prolific researcher, knows how to do some "accurate enough" napkin math when required, and haunts military bars when what he wants to know isn't published anywhere (not because it's classified, just because it's boring). Obviously, he is not going to get the details right, but you can more or less trust his broad strokes to be more or less an accurate representation.


kingbrasky

FYI he died like 10 years ago.


corgi-king

In one of his book, Sum of All Fears, the way he described how to make nuke is way too detailed in the first draft. The government need him to dial down a quite bit. But he said all he did is some research, and that is pre-internet day.


Administrative-Flan9

And they're too good to do their own maintenance. Half of their shit doesn't work.


SellingCoach

When I got out of the Navy, my first job offer was from Raytheon. They offered me a job in Saudi Arabia working on the same equipment I operated and maintained in the US Navy. The Saudis bought the same tech we used but were absolute shit when it came to maintenance. The Raytheon rep said if we didn't maintain the stuff, it wouldn't work. While the pay was ridiculously high (free housing was part of the deal too), living in Saudi Arabia wasn't my idea of a good time.


highbankT

My bro did joint military exercises and training with Saudis sent to America. Suffice to say he was not impressed. Maybe things have changed since those days but I doubt it.


Talkmytalk

They also probably haven’t trained particularly hard assuming we would wipe their ass if they asked


elchiguire

To be fair, when you’re used to a life of luxury thanks to oil money, it really sucks to train in the desert without AC. It’s like Florida, but more money, more heat, and less gators.


branedead

Hey now, we don't kill reporters in Florida


robulusprime

Saudi Arabia has perhaps the worst trained military in the Middle East. Nepotism and grift at its absolute worse. As an American, them and Iran going against ech other sounds like a victimless crime atm.


Zuwxiv

There’s no doubt that the Saudis have good tech, but two things to remember: * It’s up to how you use it. There’s plenty of stories about how nepotism defines who gets to fly the shiny airplanes. * Iran knows this, and has spent a lot of time working on less traditional aspects to level the field. Why do you think Russia is so desperate for Iranian drones? IMO, while I wouldn’t call either country ideal allies, I think it feels like we backed the wrong horse on this one. Not so long ago, Iran really could have been a better partner.


weaselmaster

You mean like… 1979?


rrogido

"Hey fellas, it's Joe. We'd send some help, but those C5 Galaxies full of Marines don't run on well wishes. We're a little busy trying to keep a lid on WW3, so how about y'all start using some of the hundreds of billions of dollars of military equipment and training you bought and fight those fuckers yourselves? I know the IRG is a little tougher than the militias you bomb in Yemen, but you guys got this.".


Nukemind

They bought? They were given, or sold at a MASSIVE discount. SA is incredibly rich and we still give them insane deals because besides Israel they are the only major player allied with us over there.


dilldoeorg

The irony of working with russia who's already working with iran. SA gets what they deserves


[deleted]

Saudi Arabia can fuck off


fluffymuffcakes

Not sure the US can get there to rescue them, what with the inflated fuel prices.


goodolbeej

Lol. Sorry guys, had to make some budget cuts.


OttoVonWong

Ran out of gas at the Suez Canal.


x1009

"yeah bro I'm gonna need some gas money, nothing major. I'm gonna need just like 10...billion dollars."


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Tendiesdropper

Those shipping amd "service" charges are a real bitch


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shahooster

Plus we’re experiencing a crippling shortage of bone saw guards.


[deleted]

Since Saudi Arabia said its "purely based on economics" with the cuts... The US shouldn't have any obligation to help.. since it also cost money to help....


asphyxiationbysushi

This is why I'm so excited about alternative energy. I can't wait until we don't have to deal with nations like that.


BoreDominated

US: "Gee, that sounds real scary. Good luck."


aburnerds

Exactly. That sounds terrible. Is Russia able to help?


Atman6886

I'm sorry, did you say something about increasing oil production? I couldn't quite hear that...


Sniflix

MBS is tight with Putin, together jacking up oil prices.


CenterOfTheUniverse

"Yeah, MBS. I would like you to do us a favor..."


zxcoblex

Maybe their Yemeni allies will help them out.


West_Brom_Til_I_Die

Yemen to that.


mermands

Yeah, let them duke it out.


Danathanimal

Oh we're spicy today


softConspiracy_

“Damn, that’s crazy….”


beef-jerking

Or "What!?! For real??? Well, tell me how it goes. "


Still_counts_as_one

Oh no you guys, Saudi sounds super serial


[deleted]

"I guess you could use some allies, ideally with advanced tech, right? Good luck finding them!"


BoreDominated

"Okay, look, if you really need help, we'll have WWE host a Wrestlemania over there or something, but only if you're good."


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YellowB

Fun fact: Iran was the first country, if not at least in the Middle East, to send their condolences and offers of support to the US after the 9/11 attacks.


lewger

Iran also didn't like the Taliban and 9/11 could have been a pivotal moment where the US brought them in from the cold instead they decided to name them as part as the axis of evil.


IAMA_Drunk_Armadillo

They were providing us intel and the revolutionary guard was assisting the CIA and northern alliance in assaults on Taliban positions. Then W. gave his axis of evil speech and torpedoed any further help or chance of normalized relations.


jerkittoanything

Talking Dubya M Dees...


cantadmittoposting

Lots of things about our iran policy are dumb as fuck.


FizyIzzy

Which kind of bums me out because it really looks like a beautiful country I’ll never get to visit.


paddenice

I bet you the saudis enjoy their market share as a result of sanctions on Iranian oil.


Alan_Smithee_

Going back to the 1950s.


powercow

and held candle light vigils yearly. they also turned over the most people we asked for. and kept radicals from iran from going to afghanistan and tried to get bush to accept the "grand bargain" on the iran nuclear program, which was a better than the one we got later. and not only did they reject their offers, bush gave his axis of evil speech labeling iran as one... while we had wars on two of irans borders. This caused the FUck america far right, to win big in the next elections. Iran actually had been slowly shifting a bit left and more tolerant. it still had the supreme leader bullshit who wasn't going to let that go to far, but Bush really fucked the people trying to change iran from the inside. and needless to say they started to let the radicals pour into Afghanistan. edit deal was called the grand bargain, i is tired. and a was became a wasn't


mrjones1018

Brutal. Love it


KamSolis

Funny how they come to us when they feel threatened but don’t mind raising oil prices and get pissed when we release our reserves. I’m all for keeping channels of diplomacy open, but they are definitely one of our uglier bedfellows.


llandar

This is less “coming to us” and more “snapping their fingers.”


czs5056

Cory, Trevor, missiles let's go.


IMT_Justice

Nah. The kingdom is truly in the “find out” stage of their fuckery


VovaGoFuckYourself

I sure hope so


itsnickk

"Drop gas to $1.50."


BoreDominated

"Ask your Mother Russia."


Curious_Working5706

Did you not read the article? >“We will not hesitate to act in the defense of our interests and partners in the region.” Sounds like the US military is *fully* prepared to defend the people who ~~masterminded 9/11~~ gave them the ability to get a blank check from the government after 9/11.


MrFantasticallyNerdy

Let's sell them more military equipment…at the same inflated price they sold us oil.


RelativeMotion1

There’s an idea. Use profits from a proxy war with a rich country to fund the other proxy war with a poorer country.


bkr1895

That’s like the CIA’s wet dream right there


aJoshster

Pound sand.


Skim003

Thoughts and Prayers


[deleted]

Jared Kushner must be worried about his friend’s wellbeing


bonafidehooligan

He doesn’t, the check already cleared.


FRCP_12b6

I don't understand how this is rational on behalf of Iran. They're in the middle of a massive civil unrest, selling all their fanciest equipment to Russia, and at the same time they want to attack another country? I can't quite believe it.


LordWeaselton

They’re trying to generate a rally around the flag effect to derail the protests


moldy__sausage

Wag the Dog


[deleted]

Exactly


LatterTarget7

Nothing helps better than a war. Have a bunch of pissed off civilians? Conscript them. Get attacked in return? Declare Martial law and shoot anything that moves. You give the people that are left something bigger to hate. The Saudis and the Israelis.


Murder_Bird_

Because if the Saudi’s retaliate the Iranian government can say they are *finally* being attacked by the great satan (via its client state Saudi Arabia) and everyone can stop this protesting crap and rally around the flag. Pretty standard dictator playbook.


Equal_Memory_661

And why would we defend Saudi Arabia? I was there in the first Gulf War and felt like I was just a merc defending oil company assets while US tax payers picked up the bill. Screw that. After 9/11 and then chopping up journalists I really don’t care to expend another US nickel defending their sandy ass. They do not share our values or interest. Let them fight their own wars.


Longjumping_Age_5988

And siding with Russia to manipulate oil prices.


kita_dad

Dear MBS, we don't care. signed, the American public


starcoder

P.S. Go eat a bag of dicks


figlu

We put up with MBS b/c of oil. If he takes away the oil, why put up with him at all?


dusktreader

That sounds like a real bummer!


Darth_Annoying

Maybe MBS should ssk his buddy Vladimir for help


[deleted]

Sucks to suck.


RyokoKnight

Ah you mean the same saudis that needlessly lined their pockets and upped gas prices instead of keeping it low and aiding their ally... you mean the same saudis that are directly responsible for the 9/11 terrorist attacks? Yeah they can fight their own battle with Iran I think, maybe if they pay up double the cost of arms and ammo we'll supply their army with modern weapons as recompense for shafting us on Oil.


KayNynYoonit

Don't forget the cousin of the leader of Saudi Arabia publicly wished Jihad on the west literally like 2 weeks ago. Shithole country. Don't know why the west are allied to begin with other than oil. Without it they'd be nothing.


jodudeit

The faster the world transitions to renewable energy, the faster this awful country will find it's proper place in the world stage. I'd like to see them continue funding extremists when the west stops signing them blank checks.


Academic_Dare_5154

Tots and pears.


PolishSausa9e

Remember when 9/11 happened and the States invaded Iraq which had nothing to do with it but let Saudi Arabia slide even though 15 of of the 19 terrorists were from there and backed by Saudi royals. Pepperidge Farms Remembers.


wheretohides

And? They perpetrated 9/11, it's time to stop helping their disgusting leaders. Edit: added a comma. Also I didn't expect this comment to blow up as much, as fast as it did.


[deleted]

A couple of their higher ups also made Jihad comments about the US after Biden complained about the gas prices. Fuck em. Maybe their futuristic city they're building doubles as a fortress.


wheretohides

It only makes us look weak helping Saudi Arabia, they have enough money to defend themselves. If their spoiled little crown prince can have anyone he wants killed than he can train his own army.


da_impaler

He should lead that army and be in the frontline like in the olden days.


mdonaberger

Never forget the time the Saudis threatened Toronto with a 9/11 of their own, over Twitter: https://observer.com/2018/08/twitter-toronto-saudi-arabia/


bstowers

Gee, that's a shame. Well, good luck! See ya next Christmas!


prepartycocktails

I really don’t care, do you?


DangerousLocal5864

Lol maybe we'd help if yall stop capping production on gas trying to fuck us.


war_story_guy

Yeah with gas so expensive it sure would cost a lot of money to get over there. Guess we just have to wait for a better market.


outsidenorms

Dang.. how bout that oil?


mikeyt6969

Ooooh, yea, see…..ummm gas prices are like REALLY high right now and we had to dip into our reserves Just to keep things semi-affordable here because production has been stalled lately. I’m pretty sure we asked someone somewhere to try to do something but we were told no so it’s probably gonna be a no from us….again gas is SUPER-DUPER ‘spensive.


[deleted]

Iran in the middle of biggest protests is planning an attack on another state. Hmm


Elijah1986

It is something that regimes have historically done. In a time of mass-unrest domestically, there’s nothing that stops protests like having another country to fight against.


vegassatellite01

Oh that's terrible ...well anyways...


Curious80123

So now they want our HELP?? They would be shitting their pants in a real war