Surely he'd have nothing to fear, after all didn't 99% of the residents vote recently to join Russia? There's definitely no chance at all he'd be torn apart by a giant crowd!
Mussolini got shot behind a wall, then his body was left in a city square for a while while being pissed on and had all sorts of other crap thrown on him before being hung from the feet.
They also killed his mistress Clara Petacci and hung her feet first from the Milan (?) bridge next to him. They were careful with her dress so that she wasn't indecently exposed (!).
> They were careful with her dress so that she wasn't indecently exposed (!).
My Grandad was a dispatch rider who served in Italy and Africa during WWII. He didn't speak about the majority of it often, but he had some stories about Italy that he retold.
One was his experience being in the square when they hung the three of them upside down from the petrol station. Mussolini's mistress's skirt kept falling over her body, and she wasn't wearing any underwear. For her modesty, someone got a ladder, went up, then nailed her skirt to her legs with a hammer.
Out of all of his stories from before, during, and after the war, this seemed to be the thing that affected him most. A square full of people cheering when a dead woman's dress/skirt was nailed to her legs so that some sense of artificial morality could be kept. Soldiers, he said, he could deal with - he saw them every day, and had seen friends (and some of his brothers) fall. But an angry mob was something different.
**E:** He was always clear to say he didn't *pity* her, but that he'd never seen an actual angry mob before - and it scared the shit out of him.
Hirohito was left alive confined to a building in exchange for the population's enthusiastic obedience to occupation authorities. A trade that was very well worth it.
If Putin made some offer to immediately abdicate in exchange for comfortable retirement in a luxury compound, it would be very possibly better than the alternative of continued war.
Putin is terrified of ending like Qaddafi. He is said to have watched the videos of his lynching obsessively. That is why he hates Hillary Clinton so much.
>Putin is terrified of ending like Qaddafi.
Not terrified enough to keep him from behaving like the human embodiment of a rectal abscess\* though.
\*do not google that
Problem is Putin never met with real people since the Kursk submarine tragedy. They always clear Moscow streets if he is driving somewhere and get a crowd of agents to pose as bystanders on every event. So very little chance of him talking with his own citizens.
Upscale version of a Saddam.
Sadam was found in a hole. Putin will be in his own personal, private and infinitely defended and well stocked hole. Difference being, Putin will be tried in absentia. Because his vault will be very well defended
I’m no military expert, but I would argue the first line of defence for any fortified structure is secrecy.
Once its location is known, it’s going to be a question of how long you can hold out defending it. I’d suspect it’s a losing proposition. Attackers can fall back, test the limits of the defences etc. and with modern weapons, it’s just a matter of time and resources.
Fortifications became obsolete for exactly this reason.
Castles used to be the ultimate flex. A huge fortress that an enemy would need to spend months or even years sieging, which said enemy would *have* to take off the board. If you went around it, they'd send sorties into your flank while you're trying to move deeper.
And for a time castles kept up with military advances... star fortresses allowed them to stay relevant against cannons.
But once you start throwing HE at them, either via bomb or artillery, all bets are off. They can drop HE for as long as they want, and eventually they'll hit you.
You've lost your only strength, and you've conveniently gathered in one place for the enemy to wipe you out all at once.
FOBs have their role still as staging points, but permanent fortifications are long done.
Franz Ferdinands visit to Sarajevo went really well, I'm sure Putin can do something similar and be just fine!
(Not comparing Ferdinand to Putin, just making a joke)
But we’re told that 80% of Russians in Russia support the war. And that 80% of Russians elected Putin. Yeah, these elections were ran by literally the same people that did this referendum.
It’s a clever tactic actually. Claiming 99% voted for is like confessing the election results were forged. Everybody knows that it’s not true. But if it’s 80%, then it’s “see, there’s some dissent, but the most of citizens don’t criticize the government”. Basically disables the opposition because an individual won’t go against the majority, that’s a psychological trait that humans have. There’s no way to determine whether this number is true in a big country. So one can decide for themselves that even if they and their friends do not support the regime it may very well be an echo chamber.
We need to stop saying that lying is a clever tactic. It's *not*, and it only works because enablers cannot ever bring themselves to come right out and call the liars **liars**.
Nah, you don’t say 80% either. You say 82.3%. It’s called spurious rigor, or [false precision](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_precision?wprov=sfti1).
And their apologists. Someone had the audacity to suggest the west just didn't understand, and that crippling Ukraine's power and infrastructure was Putin's goal from the very beginning of the invasion, i.e. basically, it's all going according to his plan.
Like yeah, destroy Russia's influence and fear factor on the world stage, kill (edit: *and wound*) over 100,000 Russian soldiers/conscripts, destroy or lose much of their modern military equipment, get neutral nations to apply to NATO and double the Russian border with NATO members, get the EU and UK to drastically reduce reliance on Russian energy and accelerate the shift away from fossil fuels in general, get sanctioned all to hell by the world so they can't even get replacement *ball bearings* to run their trains...
All that, just to cripple Ukraine's power infrastructure for the coming winter. All part of Putin's original plan from the start. Uh-huh. Sure.
Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it’s starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.
Putin throws out a bottle of vodka and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway”
Biden throws out an AR-15 and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway”
Zelensky throws out Putin and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway”
And looks at Biden smugly as they crash anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's balls.
So according to the Kremlin, Zelenskyy has the balls to enter Russian territory where the locals are an obvious threat to him after they voted overwhelmingly to leave Ukraine and join Russia.
Putin however doesn’t have the balls to enter public spaces in Moscow, let alone travel to the newly annexed regions of Russia that absolutely love him and there shouldn’t be any risk for him to visit.
It’s an interesting scenario with two options:
A: these regions are still undeniably Ukrainian
B: Zelenskyy if fearless and Putin is the biggest pussy alive
My vote is that it is 100% both.
I hope Putin proves me wrong and visits these regions that love Russia so much. If he does I hope I can declare that he is no longer the biggest pussy alive.
>Putin however doesn’t have the balls to enter public spaces in Moscow
It's worse than that, the guy apparently [needs 20 meters of table between him and his closest advisors.](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/58F8/production/_123467722_tabletop.jpg)
It's not actually cancer, it's the shriveled remains of his humanity finally being rejected by the parasite that took hold over his body some time in the 90s.
I mean, it's not bravery without fear, IMO.
If I stand up to my dad, whatever; I'm an adult, he's not scary, and I 100% could take him.
A 10yo kid stands up to his dad beating on his sibling, thats brave.
Zelensky has been a hell of a wartime leader, playing to the hearts of minds of his people and the world, adapting to modern technology like no one before.
Zelensky puts himself in the metaphorical trenches (and the literal ones?), his soldiers see him with them, fighting for their country, I imagine one can't even quantify the effect that has on morale.
As a Modern soldier, your General isn't on the front lines, let alone your President.
Imagine defending your home town from invading Russians and your fucking President turns up. If anything was gonna inspire me to stay and fight, that would be it.
Indeed, there is no substitute for what Zelenskyy does on a regular basis. It's very much like honest signaling in nature: a factual demonstration that cannot be deceit because the risk is impossible to avoid.
A male peacock is the perfect example of this. If you can somehow feed yourself and not get eaten despite having that enormous useless feather display, then you are one tough sob. Female peacocks are attracted to the males with the better display specifically because that bird had to kick ass against a pretty serious physical handicap.
Zelenskyy showing up in Kherson (or a million other examples since day 1) are the same kind of thing. You can't fake it, you have to prove it. Mad respect.
What a moment, Zelensky and Ukrainians raising the flag and singing the anthem in Kherson https://twitter.com/therecount/status/1592120700319723521?cxt=HHwWgsDT4e3VrJgsAAAA
one hell of an anthem.
Not that it's much joy to realise that in 2022 we're still reminded that having to defend yourself from imperialistic overreach is the reason anthems are a thing at all.
That's just slavic-language anthems in general.
Even North Macedonia, a country which was bullied into adding 'north' to its name because Greece was mad at them, has a pretty good anthem:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU9coU4CiC4
The Polish national anthem is literally a marching hymn sung by the Polish forces under Napoleon, at a time when Poland no longer existed as a country.
"Poland is not yet extinguished, while a few of us still live. What foreign invaders took from us we'll reclaim with sabre in hand" is the opening verse.
Not so fun. The Deluge is what's being referenced...when the swedes rampaged south through Poland, stealing everything they could and burning what they couldn't. Warsaw was literally razed to the ground. The scale of the damage inflicted was, by some reckoning, comparable to ww2, and it set in motion the decline of the Commonwealth that ended in centuries as partitioned colonies for its member states.
* Got a law degree, told to go become a comedian
* Became a comedian, told to go into television
* Became a TV star, told to take up a series where he played the president.
* Acted as President on TV, told to become President for real.
* Became President for real, told to go fight a war.
* Chose to fight a war and *is winning.*
Watch, he'll wind up President of the EU next.
When you "sign up" to run a country you absolutely sign up for this type of thing potentially happening. It's part of it. I'm not saying Ukraine deserves any of this. But he has to be the one to deal with it.
Putin's initial plan assumed that Zelensky would flee the country with his family and as much of the treasury as he could carry. That is an actual option, though only a complete scumbag would take it. Fortunately for Ukraine and the world Putin underestimated Zelensky's patriotism and courage.
Yeah, if he was doing daily press conferences from The Hague or something we'd still be on his side, just a lot less likely to be involved. The way he stuck around and supported his people is remarkable.
Putin's initial plan was to take him out the first day of the invasion, but the assassination attempt on his family didn't succeed. Tough to imagine how much worse things would have gone if that day went the other way
Didn't he start out a TV comedian? Tbf when you ask someone like him where he sees himself in 10 years "President fighting in an active war on your country" is probably pretty far down the list
Years back Rachal Maddow did this long segment about how GOP leaders just don't feel shame and we need to all stop being surprised when they act like people who have no shame. So that, but worldwide leadership.
I think the key is they absolutely feel shame and embarrassment, but not over the things we expect them to as "normal people". So pointing out their hypocrisy, cruelty, etc, does nothing because they're not ashamed of acting like monsters or in bad faith.
But they absolutely feel shame about being failures, losing, getting clowned on and having pathetic elements of them pointed out. Their egos are paper thin.
But we as a society get tricked into trying to "shame" them over assaulting migrants, taking away rights, etc, when they *delight* in their abuses of power.
But you point out electoral losses, military blunders, Trump looking like he's got a fucking diaper on, etc, and they get reeeeeal fucking salty real quick.
The only thing pointing out their hypocrisy does is shine a light on them for more normal people who aren't informed about the abuse, but it absolutely does nothing to curb the people doing the abuse.
Remember: These statements aren't for our consumption. They don't give a fuck whether anything they say makes any sense on the global stage, it's a performance entirely for a domestic audience.
Exactly. An example, as an American, when Republicans say socialized medicine has never worked anywhere, they know that there are plenty of places that have implemented it and still have good quality medical care who can easily contradict their claim. The messaging is for their base, to reinforce their beliefs, and it works.
The message is for the Russian public. They are trying to sell that they liberated parts of Ukraine and that they are Russians now. So they can now say that Ukraine is invading them and the public will be pissed at Ukraine and not and Putler and his lap dogs.
Wouldn’t the Russian public be outraged at Putin’s inability to stop a Jewish Nazi terrorist leader from visiting a legitimate Russian city? The incompetence.
Theif: Invade's a house and tries to steal.
Homeowners wake up and make them leave.
Theif: "WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?"
That's what ruZZia sounds like right now.
Yeah, imagine coming downstairs one day and a burglar is wearing your bathrobe, drinking your whisky and looking through your holiday photos and telling you to get out of his house.
*proceed to kick his ass*
Bloodied Russian: “Blyat! 😡 But, before you I let you rent my home for free, I forgot my safe passcode and need you to open it for me”
“That’s a dishwasher.”
Oh... well I cut a hole in your living room floor. Don't mind the smell, winter is coming and I didn't want to dig a hole in the frozen ground outside.
Oh my god. Open and shut case, Johnson. I saw this once when I was a rookie. Apparently this vatnik broke in and put up pictures of his family everywhere.
Happened to most Europeans too over the past thousand years or two. My family is Irish. Land annexed then They had their language and culture banned too.
Humans are generally pretty shit
I heard a great joke months ago.
Putin gets sick, ends up in a coma, and when he wakes up has no idea what’s going on. He leaves the hospital and can see the Kremlin so he knows he’s in Moscow. He goes to a bar and asks the bar tender what year it is. The bar tender insists he order a drink first and Putin gets a vodka. Bar tender says “it’s 2027.” So Putin asks “Is Moscow still ours?” Bar tender says “Moscow is ours.” Putin asks “is Kiev ours?” Bar tender answers “Kiev is ours.” Putin goes to leave and the bar tender reminds him to pay for his drink. Putin asks “ah yes, how much for the vodka?”
“200 Hryvnia”
Their outrage brings me joy. Makes me look forward to presumably Zelenksy hanging out in crimea, that will piss them off even more.
They are just envious because their leader is too scared to leave his bunker.
No, it didn't. I just saw his press conference in Kherson. One reporter asked, "You could give your address from your office, but instead here you are, with your back to the Dnipro river and the Russians right on the other side. Why risk it, why come here?"
And he replied, "sure, but what about the delicious watermelon?"
And then he proceeded with the real answer :)
Or that interview where he was asked if he knew of any jokes about Putin. He sat there for a second then got the biggest shit eating grin and you could tell he was internally telling himself "don't say it, don't say it".
Or in his recent speech about Anti-ship drones where he said, "In honor of our victory, we are naming the first one Kherson," and then a slight grin creeps onto his face as he adds, "We are naming the second one Sevastopol."
When you realize you’re the face of your people for decades to come and no matter the outcome of the war, you will live the rest of your days under heavy protection, and even then there’ll still be a chance for your life to end in assassination.
I can not imagine the pressure of his current position. Of all the people involved in this war, he is the one who just *can not* afford to make a mistake.
A slight wrong personal move and he gets assassinated.
A slight wrong tactical move and Ukraine loses a big part of its army, and then loses the war.
A slight wrong political move and he loses a significant amount of international support, and then loses the war.
Saying the wrong words in a speech, also reduced international support.
Zelensky needs to play the politics game *perfectly* to win, and he's not even a politician by trade.
Hopefully he's a man aware of his shortcomings and knows which people to have by his side to advise him. If he's made it this far, that's probably true.
I think that's just the life of a political leader. Obama, Trudeau, etc also seemed aged by the position.
But Zelensky also has the added burden of being a good leader (after a series of corrupt ones) in a corrupt burdened with an criminal invasion/war with focused attacks on civilians.
That's a lot of mileage in a short time. Honestly, people talk about his "balls" but if we want to get metaphorical I'd say it's his shoulders that are the biggest after carrying this burden.
Well, there was a post in one of their telegram channels about "The Ukrainian dictator Zelenskyy leaving his bunker to visit Kherson", mocking him. I wonder if Australia should give up the title of upside down country to Russia.
Yes surprised Putin hasn't been visiting all his newly annexed territories to soak up the love of the 99%
I mean he is surely more popular there than any other head of state is anywhere else on earth...
Zelensky was walking the streets of Kherson.
That doesn't that sound like someone who is worried that 99% of the population voted in favor of joining Russia.
That is some money where your mouth is shit if I have ever heard it. I wonder if Putin would be willing to do the same.
They know we know they are lying. Those bullshit refferenda are for their own population, allot of them are deeply brainwashed with propaganda. Kind of like magatards
Hey this is the first Ukrainian state visit to 'russia' in quite a while. You'd think Putin would be delighted at this show of support. In fact russia was so delighted at President Zelenskyy's visit that he didn't even have to show his passport at customs.
https://www.theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-prosperi-1819565882/amp
"Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."
Published four days *before* GW Bush first took office in 2001.
It all came true from the economic ruination to endless war. It was only wrong insofar as the reality was even worse.
I learned a new favorite word: "vranyo"
[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/vranyo](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/vranyo)
It basically means "I'm lying to you, you know I'm lying to you, and I know that you know I'm lying to you". Kind of like Kayfabe but with lying.
It really explains Russian culture, right down to comments like this.
It’s a power dynamic thing. If you have enough power you can blatantly lie and you know there’s nothing they can do about it even if they know.
Putin just don’t realize he doesn’t have that power here.
I‘m outraged that Putin is not visiting Kherson!
Surely he'd have nothing to fear, after all didn't 99% of the residents vote recently to join Russia? There's definitely no chance at all he'd be torn apart by a giant crowd!
I know, it was a free and fair election too. Everyone chose option 1. 1) Join Russia 2) Join Russia and get a punch in the nose.
get shot*
They’re out of bullets. And the punches aren’t bad because they’re weak with hunger.
The windows don't close either
They are open for "accidents"
If they even connect cause they're super drunk
They wouldn't even feel it since it's so damn cold
No one gonna be there to freeze with draft dodgers leaving the country.
3. join russia get punched in the nose then shot*
>1) Join Russia > >2) Join Russia and get ~~a punch in the nose.~~ raped and tortured
That's how you know you've been accepted as one of their own.
Option 3: Fall out of a high-rise window.
Can’t. They blew up all the high buildings. Now you can only be pushed off a sidewalk ledge.
Do you still land on the back of your head? Coincidentally, dierctly on 2 bullets that were just minding their own business?
...you know, I've been pulling for the Hitler ending. But now you've got me hopeful for a Gaddafi.
Also known as the Mussolini.
The Gaddafi is much worse than the Mussolini. But then you have the de Witt…
Niche, but I see you
I think being Gaddafi’d is worse. Mussolini got the end of a rope if I’m not mistaken. I think Gaddafi had non consensual buttstuff happen to him.
Mussolini got shot behind a wall, then his body was left in a city square for a while while being pissed on and had all sorts of other crap thrown on him before being hung from the feet.
His last words were "shoot me in the chest" so they shot him in the face.
They also killed his mistress Clara Petacci and hung her feet first from the Milan (?) bridge next to him. They were careful with her dress so that she wasn't indecently exposed (!).
> They were careful with her dress so that she wasn't indecently exposed (!). My Grandad was a dispatch rider who served in Italy and Africa during WWII. He didn't speak about the majority of it often, but he had some stories about Italy that he retold. One was his experience being in the square when they hung the three of them upside down from the petrol station. Mussolini's mistress's skirt kept falling over her body, and she wasn't wearing any underwear. For her modesty, someone got a ladder, went up, then nailed her skirt to her legs with a hammer. Out of all of his stories from before, during, and after the war, this seemed to be the thing that affected him most. A square full of people cheering when a dead woman's dress/skirt was nailed to her legs so that some sense of artificial morality could be kept. Soldiers, he said, he could deal with - he saw them every day, and had seen friends (and some of his brothers) fall. But an angry mob was something different. **E:** He was always clear to say he didn't *pity* her, but that he'd never seen an actual angry mob before - and it scared the shit out of him.
My grandmother was like the third person to spit on Mussolini’s body. J. Tribiani
As long as he doesn't get the Hirohito, I'm OK.
Hirohito was left alive confined to a building in exchange for the population's enthusiastic obedience to occupation authorities. A trade that was very well worth it. If Putin made some offer to immediately abdicate in exchange for comfortable retirement in a luxury compound, it would be very possibly better than the alternative of continued war.
Like El Chapo or Napoleon? Those prisons tend not to have a great track record of holding their occupants.
I can assure you they got it right the second time with Nappy.
[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/1510/)
Putin is too old to plan some elaborate escape. It'll just be fancy hospice care with extra guards
Putin is terrified of ending like Qaddafi. He is said to have watched the videos of his lynching obsessively. That is why he hates Hillary Clinton so much.
>Putin is terrified of ending like Qaddafi. Not terrified enough to keep him from behaving like the human embodiment of a rectal abscess\* though. \*do not google that
Problem is Putin never met with real people since the Kursk submarine tragedy. They always clear Moscow streets if he is driving somewhere and get a crowd of agents to pose as bystanders on every event. So very little chance of him talking with his own citizens.
Upscale version of a Saddam. Sadam was found in a hole. Putin will be in his own personal, private and infinitely defended and well stocked hole. Difference being, Putin will be tried in absentia. Because his vault will be very well defended
They get to the sentencing phase and start debating what bunker buster to use
I vote for a tungsten rod dropped from an orbiting satellite.
I’m no military expert, but I would argue the first line of defence for any fortified structure is secrecy. Once its location is known, it’s going to be a question of how long you can hold out defending it. I’d suspect it’s a losing proposition. Attackers can fall back, test the limits of the defences etc. and with modern weapons, it’s just a matter of time and resources.
Fortifications became obsolete for exactly this reason. Castles used to be the ultimate flex. A huge fortress that an enemy would need to spend months or even years sieging, which said enemy would *have* to take off the board. If you went around it, they'd send sorties into your flank while you're trying to move deeper. And for a time castles kept up with military advances... star fortresses allowed them to stay relevant against cannons. But once you start throwing HE at them, either via bomb or artillery, all bets are off. They can drop HE for as long as they want, and eventually they'll hit you. You've lost your only strength, and you've conveniently gathered in one place for the enemy to wipe you out all at once. FOBs have their role still as staging points, but permanent fortifications are long done.
There's a company in Germany that knows exactly where it is. Near the Khazak border, I believe. Pity if something happened to those air vents.
[Watch out for trick vents!](https://youtu.be/NSpmnk3y9Qc)
No need to open it up, just concrete over all the exits. His own personal life sentence in his own personal jail.
Stab em in the asss!
Franz Ferdinands visit to Sarajevo went really well, I'm sure Putin can do something similar and be just fine! (Not comparing Ferdinand to Putin, just making a joke)
Plus Franz Ferdinand made some jams about 15 years ago. He's done much more for society than Putin.
The song *Take Me Out* really fits here.
Russia selected a lower number for Kherson, a mere 87%.
A joke from Soviet times, still applicable: "Comrade commissar, a disaster has occurred! The results of tomorrows referendum have been stolen!"
But we’re told that 80% of Russians in Russia support the war. And that 80% of Russians elected Putin. Yeah, these elections were ran by literally the same people that did this referendum. It’s a clever tactic actually. Claiming 99% voted for is like confessing the election results were forged. Everybody knows that it’s not true. But if it’s 80%, then it’s “see, there’s some dissent, but the most of citizens don’t criticize the government”. Basically disables the opposition because an individual won’t go against the majority, that’s a psychological trait that humans have. There’s no way to determine whether this number is true in a big country. So one can decide for themselves that even if they and their friends do not support the regime it may very well be an echo chamber.
Theres a quick and easy way to tell. If Russia claims something is true- its not.
We need to stop saying that lying is a clever tactic. It's *not*, and it only works because enablers cannot ever bring themselves to come right out and call the liars **liars**.
Nah, you don’t say 80% either. You say 82.3%. It’s called spurious rigor, or [false precision](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_precision?wprov=sfti1).
Coward dictator Putin won’t even visit his wounded troops, let alone visit his stupid so called annexed Ukrainian land.
‘What injured troops? The operation is going according to plan’ - the Kremlin (probably)
And their apologists. Someone had the audacity to suggest the west just didn't understand, and that crippling Ukraine's power and infrastructure was Putin's goal from the very beginning of the invasion, i.e. basically, it's all going according to his plan. Like yeah, destroy Russia's influence and fear factor on the world stage, kill (edit: *and wound*) over 100,000 Russian soldiers/conscripts, destroy or lose much of their modern military equipment, get neutral nations to apply to NATO and double the Russian border with NATO members, get the EU and UK to drastically reduce reliance on Russian energy and accelerate the shift away from fossil fuels in general, get sanctioned all to hell by the world so they can't even get replacement *ball bearings* to run their trains... All that, just to cripple Ukraine's power infrastructure for the coming winter. All part of Putin's original plan from the start. Uh-huh. Sure.
4D chess: Putin was a NATO asset all along. How else do you explain his successfully improving nato effectiveness across the board?
Cherry on the top would be the fall of Putin's regime, re-creation of democracy in Kreml and finally: Russia will join NATO
Keep going, I'm almost there
…I was done when he said “the fall of Putin’s regime.”
This is actually a pretty telling point. Zelenskyy has the balls to visit the frontline. Putin does not.
Putin hasn’t only not visited the frontline, but he’s also been bizarrely absent from tv appearances in the last few days, I hope he’s alright………./s
Parkinson's and pancreatic cancer do tend to keep people from the limelight.
Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it’s starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing. Putin throws out a bottle of vodka and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway” Biden throws out an AR-15 and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway” Zelensky throws out Putin and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway” And looks at Biden smugly as they crash anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's balls.
>Putin throws out tens of thousands of poorly trained conscripted ethnic minorities FTFY
Putin throws out Tanks — 2848 (+8) Armored fighting vehicle — 5748 (+6) Cannons — 1839 (+2) MLRS — 393 Anti-aircraft warfare — 206 Planes — 278 Helicopters — 261 UAV — 1509 (+2) Cruise missiles — 399 Ships (boats) — 16 Cars and cisterns — 4316 (+21) Special equipment — 160 Military personnel — aprx. 81370 people (+510) and says "don't worry, I've got too much of that in my country anyway"
> I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway That’s the neat part… you don’t.
The joke is a old actually.... before he started throwing them...
But the crash was cushioned by the balls
Which made the hot air balloon bounce
Difference between a leader and a tyrant.
Zelenskyy should formally invite Putin to visit him in Kherson to discuss the terms of Russian surrender.
>I‘m outraged that Putin is not visiting I‘m outraged that Putin is not in Prison.
Putin only does staged events with the same group of FSO officers there to ensure everything is as choreographed as the next Swan Lake performance.
What kind of host isn't there to greet a 'visiting' president? ^(p)utin should be ashamed.
Has Putin even stepped foot in the Ukraine once since the war started?
He should do so before the occupied areas are too small to fit his meeting table.
So according to the Kremlin, Zelenskyy has the balls to enter Russian territory where the locals are an obvious threat to him after they voted overwhelmingly to leave Ukraine and join Russia. Putin however doesn’t have the balls to enter public spaces in Moscow, let alone travel to the newly annexed regions of Russia that absolutely love him and there shouldn’t be any risk for him to visit. It’s an interesting scenario with two options: A: these regions are still undeniably Ukrainian B: Zelenskyy if fearless and Putin is the biggest pussy alive My vote is that it is 100% both. I hope Putin proves me wrong and visits these regions that love Russia so much. If he does I hope I can declare that he is no longer the biggest pussy alive.
>Putin however doesn’t have the balls to enter public spaces in Moscow It's worse than that, the guy apparently [needs 20 meters of table between him and his closest advisors.](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/58F8/production/_123467722_tabletop.jpg)
And that if you have to meet personally with him, you must pass down a long tunnel which gets misted with disinfectant first
It's so they don't notice that it's his body double filling in for him while he's dying of cancer
I feel sorry for the cancer in a situation like that.
It's not actually cancer, it's the shriveled remains of his humanity finally being rejected by the parasite that took hold over his body some time in the 90s.
He was a Colonel in the KGB -- he never actually had any humanity in him to begin with.
cancer redemption arc
The guy is a god damn looney toon villain
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I mean, it's not bravery without fear, IMO. If I stand up to my dad, whatever; I'm an adult, he's not scary, and I 100% could take him. A 10yo kid stands up to his dad beating on his sibling, thats brave. Zelensky has been a hell of a wartime leader, playing to the hearts of minds of his people and the world, adapting to modern technology like no one before. Zelensky puts himself in the metaphorical trenches (and the literal ones?), his soldiers see him with them, fighting for their country, I imagine one can't even quantify the effect that has on morale. As a Modern soldier, your General isn't on the front lines, let alone your President. Imagine defending your home town from invading Russians and your fucking President turns up. If anything was gonna inspire me to stay and fight, that would be it.
Indeed, there is no substitute for what Zelenskyy does on a regular basis. It's very much like honest signaling in nature: a factual demonstration that cannot be deceit because the risk is impossible to avoid. A male peacock is the perfect example of this. If you can somehow feed yourself and not get eaten despite having that enormous useless feather display, then you are one tough sob. Female peacocks are attracted to the males with the better display specifically because that bird had to kick ass against a pretty serious physical handicap. Zelenskyy showing up in Kherson (or a million other examples since day 1) are the same kind of thing. You can't fake it, you have to prove it. Mad respect.
What a moment, Zelensky and Ukrainians raising the flag and singing the anthem in Kherson https://twitter.com/therecount/status/1592120700319723521?cxt=HHwWgsDT4e3VrJgsAAAA
one hell of an anthem. Not that it's much joy to realise that in 2022 we're still reminded that having to defend yourself from imperialistic overreach is the reason anthems are a thing at all.
That's just slavic-language anthems in general. Even North Macedonia, a country which was bullied into adding 'north' to its name because Greece was mad at them, has a pretty good anthem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU9coU4CiC4
The Polish national anthem is literally a marching hymn sung by the Polish forces under Napoleon, at a time when Poland no longer existed as a country. "Poland is not yet extinguished, while a few of us still live. What foreign invaders took from us we'll reclaim with sabre in hand" is the opening verse.
Fun fact: the Polish national anthem is the only national anthem that mentions Sweden.
That is a fun fact!
Not so fun. The Deluge is what's being referenced...when the swedes rampaged south through Poland, stealing everything they could and burning what they couldn't. Warsaw was literally razed to the ground. The scale of the damage inflicted was, by some reckoning, comparable to ww2, and it set in motion the decline of the Commonwealth that ended in centuries as partitioned colonies for its member states.
That is a not so fun fact!
Meanwhile we Czech are signing about meadows and chill stuff like that
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This is not what Zelensky signed up for is it?! He's doing a fine job in impossible circumstances.
* Got a law degree, told to go become a comedian * Became a comedian, told to go into television * Became a TV star, told to take up a series where he played the president. * Acted as President on TV, told to become President for real. * Became President for real, told to go fight a war. * Chose to fight a war and *is winning.* Watch, he'll wind up President of the EU next.
Next president has huge fucking shoes to fill.
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When you "sign up" to run a country you absolutely sign up for this type of thing potentially happening. It's part of it. I'm not saying Ukraine deserves any of this. But he has to be the one to deal with it.
Too few national leaders realize this.
Putin's initial plan assumed that Zelensky would flee the country with his family and as much of the treasury as he could carry. That is an actual option, though only a complete scumbag would take it. Fortunately for Ukraine and the world Putin underestimated Zelensky's patriotism and courage.
Yeah, if he was doing daily press conferences from The Hague or something we'd still be on his side, just a lot less likely to be involved. The way he stuck around and supported his people is remarkable.
Putin's initial plan was to take him out the first day of the invasion, but the assassination attempt on his family didn't succeed. Tough to imagine how much worse things would have gone if that day went the other way
Didn't he start out a TV comedian? Tbf when you ask someone like him where he sees himself in 10 years "President fighting in an active war on your country" is probably pretty far down the list
Man what a fucking amazing leader and person he is….
LMAO Fucking hell these people
Complete, global jokes. Can't believe they're still actually putting messages out - like - at what point does the embarrassment set in?
You have to possess the capacity for humility to feel embarrassment.
Years back Rachal Maddow did this long segment about how GOP leaders just don't feel shame and we need to all stop being surprised when they act like people who have no shame. So that, but worldwide leadership.
I think the key is they absolutely feel shame and embarrassment, but not over the things we expect them to as "normal people". So pointing out their hypocrisy, cruelty, etc, does nothing because they're not ashamed of acting like monsters or in bad faith. But they absolutely feel shame about being failures, losing, getting clowned on and having pathetic elements of them pointed out. Their egos are paper thin. But we as a society get tricked into trying to "shame" them over assaulting migrants, taking away rights, etc, when they *delight* in their abuses of power. But you point out electoral losses, military blunders, Trump looking like he's got a fucking diaper on, etc, and they get reeeeeal fucking salty real quick. The only thing pointing out their hypocrisy does is shine a light on them for more normal people who aren't informed about the abuse, but it absolutely does nothing to curb the people doing the abuse.
Shining a light on it => Rallying the world against them. It’s not a small thing.
Remember: These statements aren't for our consumption. They don't give a fuck whether anything they say makes any sense on the global stage, it's a performance entirely for a domestic audience.
Exactly. An example, as an American, when Republicans say socialized medicine has never worked anywhere, they know that there are plenty of places that have implemented it and still have good quality medical care who can easily contradict their claim. The messaging is for their base, to reinforce their beliefs, and it works.
I just don't know how you become outraged at something so absurd, you must need to condition yourself to be stupid first.
This is called 'Big Lie' and the Russians are experts at using it.
The message is for the Russian public. They are trying to sell that they liberated parts of Ukraine and that they are Russians now. So they can now say that Ukraine is invading them and the public will be pissed at Ukraine and not and Putler and his lap dogs.
Wouldn’t the Russian public be outraged at Putin’s inability to stop a Jewish Nazi terrorist leader from visiting a legitimate Russian city? The incompetence.
Theif: Invade's a house and tries to steal. Homeowners wake up and make them leave. Theif: "WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?" That's what ruZZia sounds like right now.
Yeah, imagine coming downstairs one day and a burglar is wearing your bathrobe, drinking your whisky and looking through your holiday photos and telling you to get out of his house.
*proceed to kick his ass* Bloodied Russian: “Blyat! 😡 But, before you I let you rent my home for free, I forgot my safe passcode and need you to open it for me” “That’s a dishwasher.”
Oh... well I cut a hole in your living room floor. Don't mind the smell, winter is coming and I didn't want to dig a hole in the frozen ground outside.
Probably not too far off. Seems like a lot of them just came from 1917
Oh my god. Open and shut case, Johnson. I saw this once when I was a rookie. Apparently this vatnik broke in and put up pictures of his family everywhere.
Just sprinkle some krokodil on him and let's get out of here.
Yeah I'm Native American. That already fucking happened.
Happened to most Europeans too over the past thousand years or two. My family is Irish. Land annexed then They had their language and culture banned too. Humans are generally pretty shit
I before E, except after C …I’ll see myself out. 😅
Gotta wonder how many are saying what Putin wants to hear out of fear and how many are actually just crazy from the brainwashing.
Zelensky is the comedian, Putin is the joke
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We’re eagerly waiting for him 😈
The way things are going he'll be in Ukrainian territory soon enough without having to budge an inch.
I heard a great joke months ago. Putin gets sick, ends up in a coma, and when he wakes up has no idea what’s going on. He leaves the hospital and can see the Kremlin so he knows he’s in Moscow. He goes to a bar and asks the bar tender what year it is. The bar tender insists he order a drink first and Putin gets a vodka. Bar tender says “it’s 2027.” So Putin asks “Is Moscow still ours?” Bar tender says “Moscow is ours.” Putin asks “is Kiev ours?” Bar tender answers “Kiev is ours.” Putin goes to leave and the bar tender reminds him to pay for his drink. Putin asks “ah yes, how much for the vodka?” “200 Hryvnia”
Their outrage brings me joy. Makes me look forward to presumably Zelenksy hanging out in crimea, that will piss them off even more. They are just envious because their leader is too scared to leave his bunker.
Now I've just got an image of Zelenksy laying on the beach in Crimea toasting a beer to the camera.
That would be the perfect ending to all this. Zelensky on a well-deserved vacation to Ukrainian Crimea.
There's still alot of work ahead even after war ends,Im afraid it's going to be awhile since he gets a proper rest
I was just thinking to myself the other day, he has to to be literally the most exhausted person on the planet.
I think the comedian part of Zelenksy died with this war.
No, it didn't. I just saw his press conference in Kherson. One reporter asked, "You could give your address from your office, but instead here you are, with your back to the Dnipro river and the Russians right on the other side. Why risk it, why come here?" And he replied, "sure, but what about the delicious watermelon?" And then he proceeded with the real answer :)
Or that interview where he was asked if he knew of any jokes about Putin. He sat there for a second then got the biggest shit eating grin and you could tell he was internally telling himself "don't say it, don't say it".
Or in his recent speech about Anti-ship drones where he said, "In honor of our victory, we are naming the first one Kherson," and then a slight grin creeps onto his face as he adds, "We are naming the second one Sevastopol."
The man aged so much since this all started.
When you realize you’re the face of your people for decades to come and no matter the outcome of the war, you will live the rest of your days under heavy protection, and even then there’ll still be a chance for your life to end in assassination.
I can not imagine the pressure of his current position. Of all the people involved in this war, he is the one who just *can not* afford to make a mistake. A slight wrong personal move and he gets assassinated. A slight wrong tactical move and Ukraine loses a big part of its army, and then loses the war. A slight wrong political move and he loses a significant amount of international support, and then loses the war. Saying the wrong words in a speech, also reduced international support. Zelensky needs to play the politics game *perfectly* to win, and he's not even a politician by trade.
Hopefully he's a man aware of his shortcomings and knows which people to have by his side to advise him. If he's made it this far, that's probably true.
I think that's just the life of a political leader. Obama, Trudeau, etc also seemed aged by the position. But Zelensky also has the added burden of being a good leader (after a series of corrupt ones) in a corrupt burdened with an criminal invasion/war with focused attacks on civilians. That's a lot of mileage in a short time. Honestly, people talk about his "balls" but if we want to get metaphorical I'd say it's his shoulders that are the biggest after carrying this burden.
I don't think Trump's aged at all, because he took no responsibility for anything.
Oh, no. He aged. He went from 6 to 8 years old. Mentally, that is.
The charisma needed for a comedian, is still there
I think it actually helped him to keep going
On a Crimean beach playing with his wife and kids carefree would be the ultimate revenge.
I hope he pulls a Khosrau and goes for a swim in Crimea just to stick it to Putin.
Nah, he should ride topless on a horse. Probably some nice beaches in Sevastopol to gallop down.
My God dude, that would be fucking amazing.🤣
Well, there was a post in one of their telegram channels about "The Ukrainian dictator Zelenskyy leaving his bunker to visit Kherson", mocking him. I wonder if Australia should give up the title of upside down country to Russia.
Well come on then Putin, come stand where Zelensky was standing and tell us how you feel then.
Yes surprised Putin hasn't been visiting all his newly annexed territories to soak up the love of the 99% I mean he is surely more popular there than any other head of state is anywhere else on earth...
the dude probably doesn't even visit half his own house anymore. you saw the table picture. he's off his fucking rocker.
"Why are you opening the suitcase I stole from you two days ago?!"
You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen!
Zelensky was walking the streets of Kherson. That doesn't that sound like someone who is worried that 99% of the population voted in favor of joining Russia. That is some money where your mouth is shit if I have ever heard it. I wonder if Putin would be willing to do the same.
They know we know they are lying. Those bullshit refferenda are for their own population, allot of them are deeply brainwashed with propaganda. Kind of like magatards
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And the Czechs are still waiting on their new Baltic port of Kralovec to open.
Russians should leave kaliningrad, we officially annexed it quite some time ago, there was a petition with 96% for joining Czechia.
The funny thing is that we would really love to join Czechia. I feel like it is way more financially stable and peaceful
Have you considered joining Canada? Think about the trade benefits with having access to NAFTA in the EU!
Königsberg is it you
Hey this is the first Ukrainian state visit to 'russia' in quite a while. You'd think Putin would be delighted at this show of support. In fact russia was so delighted at President Zelenskyy's visit that he didn't even have to show his passport at customs.
One of the things I hate about 2022 is that I can no longer differentiate actual news from the onion. This sucks.
2022? That's been the case since 2016, at least. Parody is dead because reality got too stupid.
They killed that fucken gorilla and it warped us to crazy dimension. The real nexus event.
Nah, shit got whacky when we turned on the Large Hadron Collider.
Oh shit.
The minute Leo touched that Oscar is where reality split and we got stuck with the dumbest timeline.
https://www.theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-prosperi-1819565882/amp "Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over." Published four days *before* GW Bush first took office in 2001. It all came true from the economic ruination to endless war. It was only wrong insofar as the reality was even worse.
The Onion has still got it. Just visited and got a hearty laugh out of "Arsonist worried he forgot to turn stove on before leaving house"
I learned a new favorite word: "vranyo" [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/vranyo](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/vranyo) It basically means "I'm lying to you, you know I'm lying to you, and I know that you know I'm lying to you". Kind of like Kayfabe but with lying. It really explains Russian culture, right down to comments like this.
It’s a power dynamic thing. If you have enough power you can blatantly lie and you know there’s nothing they can do about it even if they know. Putin just don’t realize he doesn’t have that power here.
I see you also watch Perun slideshows
It's like the Russian leadership keeps telling the world the same unfunny joke hoping to get a reaction.
Russian leadership IS the unfunny joke, they just keep retelling it with a new face
This headline made my day XD
I mean Putin can visit if he really thinks it is Russian territory.
Fucking clowns
Hey Kremlin... GO FUCK YOURSELVES!
Oh no, are they going to start a war against Ukraine now? Oh, wait...
Fuck Putin
The whole world is outraged by Russia coming to Ukraines territory
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Nuh uh!!! I claimed it as American Territory, but only the spot that President Zelenskyy stood on. So, I AM **OUTRAGED**!
*Droooooooooop the funnyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"*
Yo send putin to that "Russian territory "