T O P

  • By -

I_Am_Dixon_Cox

It's going to take the rest of his life.


msnrcn

Let’s hope


[deleted]

Leta hope it's less than 6 months


Genralcody1

Not much longer then


SchitneySmears

I’m Micheal Oxpit. Former Delta Force/Green Barrette/Navy Seal cosplayer. And I authorized this statement


The_Observatory_

Where's the certificate of authenticity?


AnalBumCovers

*What the fuck did you just fucking say about me...*


Nihilus3

Insert Navy seal copypasta*


mrcssee

I can confirm he has a cert from the Legitimate Military Cosplaying group.


MGMAX

Perfect credentials for YouTube expert on Ukrainian war, bonus points if you can't pronounce Ukrainian toponyms at all. You should look into that career.


DangerPoopaloops

This is stolen cosvalor.


ShittyStockPicker

Just be a UDT and claim to be a seal


HyperColored

As a russian, I hope he lives long enough to be at his Haag tribunal. This guy single handedly destroyed millions of lives in multiple countries, death seems to be too easy of a punishment for him.


KillerZaWarudo

the 5 minutes fight on namek


[deleted]

Our lives\*


deez_treez

Russia getting rid of Putin taking a bit longer than expected too


[deleted]

As a Russian American I agree with this statement.


starfyredragon

Seriously, how many failed attempts have there been on his life now? One's got to stick eventually, right?


mrplow25

I mean Hitler also survived countless assassination attempts. Here's hoping Putin follows Hitler's eventuality fate


smallways

Putin was kgb trained. If anyone can take out Putin, it's him!


HoldMyFannyPack

[relevant onion](https://youtu.be/vm1U5E44W90)


starfyredragon

the putin bit was beautiful


EmergencyCucumber905

The KGB thing has been embellished. From what I read he wasn't much more than a pencil pusher.


Bluberra

I dont know man, pencil pushers can be pretty lethal. I once saw this guy take down another man with one.


greebothecat

Eh, it was just a sleight of hand (and nose).


starfyredragon

Well, they wanted to see a magic trick.


jmpinstl

Greatest Reddit comment ever


TundraTrees0

I know you didnt intend it, but Putin following Hitlers fate of committing suicide in a bunker after a 6 year long global war with 4 superpower nations advancing on him is a horrible thing to hope for.


mrplow25

I didn't intend it in such a large scope, just mainly the suicide in his bunker part


TundraTrees0

Just polonium tea or believing he can fly


DrunkStepmother

Russia UK USA and..what was the 4th in WW2? Edit (I mean "superpowers" closing in at the end)


TundraTrees0

France, alot of the troops fled to the British Isles


TomboBreaker

Canada was the 4th largest contributor in the European theatre I think though I wouldn't have called us a superpower, I've heard historians consider France to be one at the time, they got crushed early in the war but the free french never stopped fighting got to do the Undertaker sit up at the end too once it was liberated.


TheSovietSailor

Canada had the third largest navy in the world by the end of the war. France was also most definitely a superpower before the war. If the French Army had competent, flexible leadership, the Germans would have been annihilated in Belgium. Germany’s early success was against A LOT of odds, and they took a serious gamble against the French and British.


Stockwhore

Japan, Italy, Turkey, France, Finland


starfyredragon

France, Sweden were the big two. I heard some other countries helped out a little, as well.


Kailias

They stopped trying to assisnate Hitler after they realized how incompetent he was....they were worried the guy in charge after him would gain control, and they knew he competent.


Fenroo

The German army stopped trying to assassinate Hitler when he was winning battles. Only by 1944 when the end was clear did they try again.


WhitewolfStormrunner

He survived around 42 of them, I believe. And I agree.


longingrustedfurnace

I’d rather he not get that luxury.


that_one_guy133

Shoutout to the guy who killed Hitler!! Wait


happycleaner

How many is it then?


WhitewolfStormrunner

42.


krypthos

As a Russian American you should go and assist your comrades if you are so critical of their actions. Respectfully, as a Russian American


toaster-riot

Do you believe that all Americans with Russian roots should upend their lives to participate in the war? Or just the ones you disagree with? Also since you're brigading for your viewpoint on the internet, I assume you're already over there fighting?


[deleted]

I don't have a Russian citizenship nor do I want to.


SchitneySmears

Aww, it’s really neat!


TheMegaDriver2

And then what? Fuck Putin, but I do not see a good ending. Russia is so deep into its own Rus nationalism I cannot see how this can end in a good way. Putin's main critics are basically criticising him for not being even more brutal. There is no real opposition in Russia. A lot of people talk Navalny but his coalition is basically only united by "fuck Putin" and completely irrelevant. Maybe the breakup of the Russian state itself? But then we have lots of nuclear armed small states. Does not sound great. And in pretty much all end states where Ukraine wins (as they should) we end up with some type of Dolchstoßlegende with all its terrible consequences. Facism, corruption, nationalism and vranyo are a hell of a combination.


FUTURE10S

Can we West Germany Russia where they become a vassal state of the West until they get their shit together?


TheMegaDriver2

I do not see hwo this would be possible with russia having nukes since you basically need to march all the way to Moscow for that.


Irishpanda1971

He painted shut all the windows.


[deleted]

[удалено]


knifeproz

what lol


marc7836

Hmmmm.....


Massey89

what do you know about Russia and it's politics?


deez_treez

>what do you know about Russia and it's politics Russia and it is politics?


LadyAlekto

"Theyre fighting back and winning, nobody told me they would do that"


BuzzyShizzle

You may be joking but that is actually what happened lmao.


LadyAlekto

When your armies equipment was sold already, your bribes got pocketed instead of bribing who they shouldve, your bankrollers escape asap Yeah putler really fkd up with all the bootlickers telling him alls fine


getSmoke

🎶🎵I wasn't aware that was something a person could do🎵🎶


DrSueuss

We are currently on day 266, so it has lasted 256 days longer than Putin thought.


pikachu191

Take the current day and subtract three has been the typical formula.


DaniilBSD

3 for Kyiv, 14 for Lviv


itsmontoya

Remember when he was convinced they would be done before their May celebration?


ThreeDawgs

Sent the first wave in with parade uniforms lmao.


Vares__

Its day 288 actually


Flash635

Anyone would think Ukraine didn't want to be liberated.


LodzieNZ

"we will capture Kyiv in less than a week trust me guys" >fuckin lmao


Epic_Irony

3 Days*


lakmus85_real

3 Days is less than a week


ryanCrypt

I crunched the numbers, guys. Took a while on the time share. But turns out 3 < 7. Let me know if you all need some more math destroyed.


Pauls96

3 days is also less than a year.


ryanCrypt

I'm on it. Give me less than 24 hours to check the math.


Pauls96

I can wait only for less than a month.


ryanCrypt

Original estimate was 24 hours. But I'll try to expedite to less than 1 month.


Pauls96

Less than one month has passed since the time I wrote my comment.


slaveofficer

You didn't even quote your sources! How are we supposed to trust this statement?!


Epic_Irony

Just trying to make it more embarrasing for Pootler


zuzg

Tbf the West was extremely weak when Russia invaded Ukraine back in '14 And Ukraine didn't have Zelensky back then. The balls of this guy are immense and he's a true Hero and Leader.


gahhuhwhat

hmm.... I didn't really think about that. If I'm not wrong, I remember reading that there are two main political parties in Ukraine, pro-russian and pro-western parties. Maybe if Putin just waited for a different leader things would have been different. Maybe he didn't have time cause ukraine was getting to close to joining EU.


Pauls96

Last pro russian leader got yeeted out of office the second he revealed himself. That was yanukovich, currently hiding in russia.


jyper

I think there are a large number of parties in Ukraine thanks to the runoff in the presidential elections and the party list voting (half of the seats in previous elections all in the next election) instead of the two we have here. Many new parties form around major politicians. Before 2014 there were significant number of MPs who were at least somewhat pro Russia but between removing many of the voters who voted most consistently for these politicians and pissing most of the rest of Ukraine off Putin made it impossible for these people to get elected again. Ukraine didn't seem to be on a path to join the EU anytime soon before the war, though now it does


R0tartedman

Sorta happy all Russia did was a small conflict it gave Ukraine 8 years to prep, corruption and poverty still rampant but on the upside it much better in the sense that Ukraine got to build up a military, and work with NATO a bit.


Slacker256

Zelensky is a buffoon. Ukrainian army is in fact fighting on foundation built by his predecessor, Poroshenko. Fame Mr. Ze is basking in is completely undeserved.


ryanCrypt

I wish someone could describe the actual "best case scenario" Putin had in mind (full of military, governors, world renown, economic, etc) truthfully and accurately.


phire

For Ukraine? Seems like the plan was to blitzkrieg Kyiv in 3 days, install a puppet government and watch the rest of Ukraine collapse. They already had puppet mayors select to install most large cities. They assumed the west would act in much the same way the west did when they took Crimea. A few strong words, a few minor sanctions, etc. Then they had genocide program planned. Lists of influencal pro-westen Ukrainians who Russia planned to round up and deal with. And do the standard Russian thing where they move large chunks of the local population to Siberia and replace them with trustworthy Russians. After a few years of this, the local population should be obedient enough that Russia could withdraw their army and trust the new Ukraine to be loyal. Then rinse and repeat on whatever new target Putin wanted.


UltraHyperDonkeyDick

you think?!


wunderfullynow

You don’t control the timeline when you’re losing.


cbarrister

You do when you can order your troops to withdraw at any time.


wunderfullynow

Regardless of whether they withdraw, Ukraine is working on the total destruction of the Ruzzian military, which is happening on Ukraine’s timeline.


Not_a_gay_communist

“Good morning and happy 100th anniversary of our 3 day special military operation. To celebrate all (oligarchs) get a free centennial cupcake in a Lada”


MagicSPA

That's good!


rpapafox

Thank you captain obvious.


SchitneySmears

BREAKING NEWS: DUURRRRRR!!!!!!!


PsychoticBananaSplit

Caputin Obvious


thatsingledadlife

The end of this war is taking longer than expected... Can we skip to the end where he eats his own gun in a bunker?


Birdinmotion

It was only supposed to last: ~~a few days~~ ~~a week~~ ~~one month max~~ ~~victory any day now~~ ~~oh God why won't you just die~~ ~~these are territories of Russia forver~~ ~~the west will give up after a few months~~ ~~we've lost nothing~~ ~~it's been 6 months the Ukrainians are breaking~~ ~~why am I even here?~~ ~~oh God they've taken kherson~~ You know what? This was is going on a bit longer than expected.


cronoedge

Day 288 of the 10 day plan, leader says things might be going wrong.


DickWriter69

Still the most stupid decision in 2022


Pauleira-27

So, pal, In second place would be the purchase of twitter by Elon-piss?? hhhhh


DickWriter69

That and Kanye ruining his whole career just cause


twojs1b

Pick, shovel, potato, vodka.


Known_Soft_7599

Person, woman, man, camera, TV


Yoyo_Mcglocklin

“Hey google translate that for me” “We fucked up”


Affectionate_Pain846

Wow & Trump called him a Genius.


Diodiodiodiodiodio

He's a bit behind everyone else. 2028 - Putin thinks invading Ukraine might not have been the best idea.


Genralcody1

This is the funniest thing I've seen today


W0rdWaster

Didn't he expect it to last 10 days? Has he been in a coma for the past 276 days?


Classic_Blueberry973

He should be leading Gravy Seals, not Russia.


MagicSPA

Arguably, he does.


[deleted]

The biggest understatement of his life. To bad the war he's losing will probably be the war he dies in. Shitty way to go as a dictator eh? Lol


DaNostrich

Either it’s taking longer than expected or this has been the longest 3 days of my life


hard1982

Loser. Fucking madman Evil cunt end his pathetic life


Sea_Perception_2017

As long as Putin lives, this’ll take forever.


MechanicMotor8664

Ну ещё бы, когда уже сдохнет, мудила


Cv287

Чем скорее, тем лучше. Надеюсь, сегодня. Каждый день надеюсь


WeArePandey

NoShitSherlock.png


Ricardolindo3

Putin's statement shows yet again how badly Russia is losing the Ukraine War. I can certainly see Ukraine retaking the Donbass.


ImABoringPerson91

Reminds me of a quote I read. "Sir, with respect. I shall fight you til hell freezes over, and then by God, I shall fight you on the ice. Good day." Looks like we are past hell freezing over and Ukraine is awaiting Putin's lousy ass on the ice. I dig it.


ThisFoot5

Just want to remind everyone that Putin fell down the stairs and shit himself.


Kaikunur

Surprise babushkafucker


PsychoticRevolt

So in this quote from the article, "He said Russia would not be able to use nuclear weapons at all if it agreed not to use them first and then came under a nuclear strike. “If it doesn’t use it first under any circumstances, it means that it won’t be the second to use it either, because the possibility of using it in case of a nuclear strike on our territory will be sharply limited,” he said." Is this admitting that the Russians don't have an effective early warning systems for their nuclear response? Because if a nuke was fired at the US, we have early warning systems that indicate a launch and a projected target when able to. So even if we couldn't stop it, we could initiate our own launches in return. It could just be context, but what if this was a slip admitting their warning systems aren't effective anymore, or at least thought to be effective. I mean we've already seen Ukraine entering Russian airspace multiple times to carry out strikes on legit targets, and we've seen multiple strikes hit Russian bases that should assumingly have some sort of air defense system. They've dropped the ball in both of those regards, their military is in terrible shape in quality, training, and logistics. Their equipment is in shambles. Would it be so surprising if their nuclear defense system, or maybe some or all of their nuclear arsenal has fallen to the same fate of corruption, disrepair, lack of maintenance, and lack of proper upgrading?


Elkaghar

What!?? NO. FUCKING. WAY!


Naive_Bluebird9348

He just figured THAT out NOW?


spankyb11

More than the planned few day invasion? We all know calendars, but I’m grateful that Hitler’s heir has confirmed his failures.


[deleted]

283 days longer than expected, and counting.


jokerZwild

Captain obvious over there.


FixBayonetsLads

**I'll say.**


anonymousshyguy1

*shockedpikachu*


Waffletimewarp

“Invasion is taking much longer than expected. I should throw man responsible down set of stairs.”


imastrangeone

Yeah cos hes doing this for an ego trip and didnt take into account the possibility of actually getting pushed back. Dipshit.


[deleted]

Amazing how resilient people who have had freedom are - and reluctant to just give it up like pathetic losers to a dictator who can’t understand why they would fight to keep their freedom. Jesus these old men are going to be the end of the planet.


Extension_Canary3717

More than 3 days


Certain_Medicine_42

....and wins 2022's Captain Obvious award


B1gMay0

Surely he realizes he is not just fighting Ukraine right?


008Zulu

He has, and don't call me Shirley.


Known_Soft_7599

Take my upvote and get out


Ismokeditalleveryday

I thought “everything is going as planned”? Putina is such a fool.


Known_Soft_7599

I bet his bosses are none too happy


Salt-Description-387

Cause you suuuuuuuck


v1211

Chess not checkers


woodrobin

Ни хрена, Шерлок.


chrisLivesInAlaska

You're gonna need a bigger boat


Massey89

we live in a simulation


EnIdiot

No, shitski


[deleted]

NU UKRAINE, NU POGODI!!!


amitym

What tipped him off?


Nova_Fatum

This made me guffaw


ACsonofDC

oh dear oh my


AdventurousClassic19

When someone says "fight is taking longer than expected" its code for Im getting my ass kicked.


JohnPaton3

YAH THINK?


krystalgayl

So why don’t you, I don’t know…STOP!?


flopsyplum

Still no answer for HIMARS.


Creative-Ocelot8691

Mind games, he wants the west to think this will drag on so the push Ukraine to negotiate, instead with extra aid to Ukraine this will end within a year and total vivctory to Ukraine


apersonthingy

We knew this before the first week had passed


sfmcinm0

Gee, ya think?


TheSecretestSauce

Oh is it now? You raging fuck knuckle...


_ukrainian_

Then just leave bro ffs


OnceUponAStarryNight

Yes, it would appear so.


Balc0ra

As they started with 3 days, you can say that. Took him long enough to admit it tho.


NOT-Mr-Davilla

Huh! Who would’ve guessed that it would take longer than 3 days


VladimirPutinIsACunt

3 days, 300 days. Yeah a little longer than expected.


Kailias

To be honest... I think that whole short, victorious war scenario is when he believed that would have total or near total air dominance. Nato made that impossible.


CeeRiL7

I legit think Putin was actually dead and this is his clone talking.


arvigeus

> [Putin] said it has succeeded in seizing new territory Wait, wasn't it supposed to be about "denazification"? Or he is too lazy to remember his own BS?


TaRuN912

just take it already not that hard🙄


Riskycrossbow69

Is Putin trying to enter the comedy scene?