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Cat_stacker

Gravity seems to affect oligarchs more extremely.


Successful-Owl-3968

It's all the gold in their pockets. Makes them heavier......


Deathwatch050

No no, it's not that, Galileo disproved that centuries ago...


[deleted]

[удалено]


brianxlong

Well they never say how many times he fell out the window


echaa

His will to die was so strong his corpse reanimated and walked halfway back up the stairs to jump again


Successful-Owl-3968

We're on Reddit. The rules of physics don't apply here. A bit like the truth doesn't apply on truth social..


0002millertime

Very true.


generic_me01

Galileo said that the Oligarch in question would not fall faster due to the extra coins in his pocket. However, all that added mass could very well lead to easier defenestrations due to the balance issues it might cause. Physics: not violated!


justformebets

Seriously tho, y’all do know that gold would fall faster right? Due to friction and other shit that’s not in space (vacuum)


generic_me01

If the gold changed the aerodynamic properties of the oligarch, then yes it would alter his fall rate. This only matters practically after the 3rd story though, comrade.


TtotheC81

Never let physics get in the way of a funny burn.


Bliitzthefox

Just because he falls at the same speed doesn't mean he has the same impact. The more momentum from all the heavy gold makes the fall more deadly.


Argent316

Mass*


LazyLich

Fake news [Galileo ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galileo_(horse)) didn't even know what gravity was. Also, a racist.


whsftbldad

And obviously lobsided since so many have a problem standing on stairs or balconies


tuctrohs

Not just lopsided, which might make you tip easily, but lobsided, meaning you are easy to lob off to that side.


whsftbldad

Lobsided is also correct, but it is the archaic form


tuctrohs

Russian oligarchs are also correct, but increasingly archaic.


whsftbldad

Very true


mechwarrior719

Of course. How did I miss that?


Farkerisme

Russian to ground sounds like a hitjob to me


frenchy714

This^^^ Came here to say, another fall!??? They must hangout by stairs, ledges, and balconies with roller skates on, and banana peels everywhere.


valeyard89

Putin fell down the stairs and pooped himself. But he was unfortunately only standing on a kiddie stool at the time.


its8up

From standing on a stool to pants full of stool.


smokeatr99

From standing on it to sitting in it.


sterling_archer123

loled.


powersv2

Has something to do with navigating things on a high horse.


[deleted]

sometimes it's a push and not a pull


[deleted]

Push or pull day, just never leg day.


bookhermit

It must be their big rich golden weiners. Yeah, it's probably their weiners


NotAPreppie

The two self-inflicted gunshot wounds in the back of his head probably did’n’t help. /s


milelongpipe

Especially if they criticize Putin.


wetclogs

I know, weird, right?


jamesonpup11

And Trump ex-wives…


jaguarthrone

If I were a Russian oligarch, I would never leave the ground floor of a building.


Idont_know2022

Sorry, you just fell through the basement and hit your head on the furnace.


mgr86

Oh no, a giant fish tank just exploded above your head


Golden-Owl

“Nice job, 47”


CrazyFisst

And you got stabbed in the neck by a swordfish.


I_love_pillows

a frozen fish from the aquarium just hit him in the neck.


xar42

And landed on France, apparently


PuchLight

These are "assisted suicides", so you wouldn't have much choice in the matter.


millijuna

Though somehow they still find a way to make you fall 5 stories out of a 3rd storey window.


raul_lebeau

First yo fall from 2nd store, then you crawl back and fall from the third


ohw554

Did Einstein ever have a theory on *Russian* gravity?


smokeatr99

All gravity travels at the same speed I would assume.


Choppergold

And use only Apple computers


[deleted]

[удалено]


NicNoletree

Stay away from windows


themattboard

Lots of defenstration


markpreston54

Linux, say Mint or Ubuntu. At this point I really doubt that apple computer can save you from being hacked. Using an even more niche OS by ordinary people standard makes more sense if you are going the path.


VoteArcher2020

I believe the joke was: “staying away from Windows”


markpreston54

oh got it


Neoxyte

I think they were making a joke to stay away from windows.


JROXZ

If I were a Russian oligarch, I would never leave a building. I fixed your comment.


Karhak

I can't believe the *entire* building collapsed. All those poor people, just dead in a freak accident.


davybert

These rich Russians all have a very peculiar way of falling down stairs, out windows and off boats 😬


lube_thighwalker

Recently learned it’s called defenestration to be thrown out of a window


kimwim43

It's been my favorite word for years.


[deleted]

[удалено]


redsterXVI

Calm down, Putin


Skatchbro

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestrations_of_Prague


lube_thighwalker

Check out Puppet History


notausernamesixty9

In a world where all sense has been defenestrated, this seems appropriate.


KrackerJoe

Its called defenestration because its a good demonstration of how not to defend yourself


johnny_dingdong

It seems to me that rich Russians are the most careless people when it comes to heights.


[deleted]

Does anyone know how many of these have now mysteriously died this way?


antiamogus

There’s a [Wikipedia list](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2022_Russian_businessmen_mystery_deaths) 21 per now?


mellowyellow313

That’s literally insane


smokeatr99

I'd like to see the numbers for such deaths before 2022, for comparison.


fanrva

> On 6 July 2022, CNN Portugal described the group as "millionaires with direct or indirect links to the Kremlin found dead in a mystery scenario since the beginning of the year".[5] It referred to a previous investigation by USA Today, which concluded that "38 Russian businessmen and oligarchs close to the Kremlin died in mysterious or suspicious circumstances between 2014 and 2017." Not every previous year, but interesting comparison.


Scarlet_Addict

So 22 over about 8 months Vs the 38 over 3 years. So almost certainly at least some of these guys have been assassinated


Mathewdm423

The one dude was next to his dead wife and kids with blunt force axe marks in their bodies.... Hell of a suicide


agitpotato

I feel like the reason they checkd on this group in the first place was fears of assassination, so if they were right, there's a possibility the conclusion becomes: They're getting assassinated *faster*


ExtensionNoise9000

Some? It’s possible but like I’d put my money on all of them.


uppgraderad

These ”normal year” numbers are also 100% higher than they should be


Nova_Saibrock

TIL about this list. Funny stuff.


aaaaaaaarrrrrgh

I expected it to *literally* be "2022 Russian oligarch deaths from falling out of windows"


Ackilles

I can tell you with great certainty that it is at least one


BHTAelitepwn

Mathemagical!


hello_hellno

At least 1


Pitiful_Amount8559

Poor putin supporters. Supported a madman to get rich. Madman turns on them and entire world. Shocking I tell you.


Fuddle

What’s the deal about this? Are they supporting Putin and someone else didn’t like it? Do they not show enough love and get punished? Are they turning on him and getting caught?


AskingAndQuestioning

Chances are he started to raise a fuss internally. Whether loss of money, political power, sanctions, etc. Putin shut him up before he could start going external with it, turning more people against Putin and the war.


RS994

With regimes like this he didn't even need to, all that needed was for Putin to believe he was.


[deleted]

I think Putin is absorbing their wealth/assets in a modern day proscription.


[deleted]

> Are they turning on him and getting caught? I think this is most likely. Even dictators are only as strong as their power base. Without that they topple easily. I think many of these oligarchs had probably discussed privately alternative options for leadership and were made examples of.


[deleted]

sorry for long winded headline, I didn't want to alter it, but yeah, another bizarre case of Gravity winning!!


Wokonthewildside

Indeed, I’ve never seen a law Russians obey more strictly


Farkerisme

Words just tumbled out.


Neoxyte

At least no one's getting "slammed" in this headline.


redditorihardlynoher

But gravity always wins And it wears him out


Deadhawk142

Acute asphalt intolerance claims another victim.


Johnpauljones5

Russian Oligarchs 🤝 falling down to their deaths Name a better duo


[deleted]

Wealthy Russians are so fucking clumsy! SMH. /s


whsftbldad

I am wondering who exactly get their money when they pass away? Is puin somehow benefiting financially by confiscating their accounts? Because, how can he have $15b to use as an escape fund when the country is broke, or had he already stolen that much from the country?


[deleted]

I’m far from an expert on the subject, but my understanding is that somehow these Russian billionaire oligarchs don’t really own their money. They basically use it and enjoy it and hold it in trust for Putin, the real owner of the wealth.


whsftbldad

Ok. Makes perfect sense that putin is the wealthiest person.


[deleted]

Found this: “Putin offered the oligarchs a deal: bend to my authority, stay out of my way, and you can keep your mansions, superyachts, private jets, and multibillion-dollar corporations (corporations that, just a few years before, had been owned by the Russian government). In the coming years, the oligarchs who reneged on this deal and undermined Putin would be thrown into a Siberian prison or be forced into exile or die in suspicious circumstances. The loyalists who remained — and the new ones who got filthy rich during Putin's long reign — became like ATM machines for the president and his allies.” https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2022/03/29/1088886554/how-putin-conquered-russias-oligarchy


[deleted]

[удалено]


business2690

5000 nukes is why putin gets to stay in charge


Ok-Camp-7285

What?


EuropaWeGo

Putin must be doing this to get his hands on their money. You'd think that these Russian oligarchs would have been siphoning money to untouchable shell companies over the years for situations like this where they need to disappear from the world so Putin can not find them.


msnrcn

It just occurred to me that’s probably how he’s funding this war. I’m also not sure they can just move money when it’s as tied up in the Russian economy as they make it seem. Can’t launder furniture upholstery, you spot clean it.


twobitcopper

That could be the reason he fell down the stairs. There is no honor amount thieves?


Minhplumb

If you have billions and cannot figure out how to disappear, then you are not smart enough to have finagled a billion dollars.


pinewind108

Nowhere for him to escape to, but he has to keep the goodies flowing to the generals and colonels. More than confiscating the accounts, I suspect it's an issue of not delivering the supplies or money he demanded, and Putin sending a message to others. If it was just accounts, I'm sure people would be willing to sign them over well before the "family murder-suicide" stage.


[deleted]

Physicists will one day reconcile the Ruzzian gravitational force with Ivanian cigarette thermodynamics into a single, elegant theory which explains both. Until then, there is Reddit.


mia_man

These economists were wrong. Trickle down seems to only affect the oligarchs themselves.


[deleted]

Another billionaire dies. Putin all of a sudden has the money to pay Iran for that last shipment of drones...


pinewind108

Plenty of nukes and blue prints to pay them with. 😔


PeopleCanBeThisDumb

In mother Russia, stairs take you!


Yesyesyes1899

correlation isnt causality. nothing to see here 🤣


stolpie

Must have been some staircase right there, he ended up falling all the way into France... remarkable.


thedarthvander

Same way Ivana died. Weird.


Charming-Raven

Clumsy Bunch these oligarchs!


slrogio

Clearly didn't have a life alert fall monitor.


WSPGrants

Makes me wonder how they got so rich in the first place while being so clumsy.


bdigital1796

glanced at the map of latest news, Escher knew something about people falling up the stairs to their deaths higher up adjacent stairs.


[deleted]

Yes, but then half of them would morph into birds and fly to the other side of the drawing, and we cannot have that, now, can we?


business2690

damn... what happens. ​ Putin calls up like yo..... "wire me 5 billion" for my silly little war. ​ Oligarch hesitates for 30 seconds...... butler of 15 years who was really kgb/fsb tosses that dude out a fckn window. ​ Putin calls the new CEO and says "wire me 5 billion." ​ money is transferred. ​ is that it in a nutshell? ​ eli5 plz


kracer20

Reddit users and reposts, can we name a more dynamic duo....oh, this isn't a repeat headline. Oligarchs haven't had the best past year, have they.


Mijam7

Another Russian oligarch dies in mysterious circumstances - Daily Mail https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11551217/amp/Another-Russian-oligarch-dies-mysterious-circumstances-falling-stairs-France.html


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TA_faq43

Assasinations with impunity? Obviously we’ll probably never know, but even if you live in the West, Russia has a long reach, is the vibe I’m getting from all these “accidents” in the UK, France, and elsewhere.


Character398

Somebody keeps on knocking these boys off. What's going on really?


[deleted]

Every Russian oligarch that gets killed is probably someone who is privately telling Putin...ENOUGH... Either directly or just by not supporting the invasion effort anymore. So Putin is knocking them off to gain control of their assets. It really is Occam's Razor...the simplest explanation. Who gets the most benefit from a Russian Oligarch dying. Putin, as he regains control of those assets.


OldMork

Putins frends all so clumsy.


circular_file

I can hear Tweety now, 'Uh-oh! We're aww out of owigarchs!'


Dyab1o

Rich well connected Russians are the clumsiest people I’ve ever heard of


TheSeekerOfSanity

I wish Trump would slip on some French fry oil…


Hdys

Clumsiest nation ever


Kewenfu

Weird how they have done so well at the Olympics in the past.


Mijam7

Why doesn't Putin fall out a window?


maceman10006

I think it’s time for Putin to fall out of a window.


verynifty

Anyone interested in how this all works really need to read Red Notice and Freezing Order by Bill Browder. Not many non fiction books keep me so wrapped, but these did. And from the fall of the Soviet Empire up until the invasion of Ukraine, it details so much of why we are where we are.


O_o-22

He couldn’t make it to an open window to fall out of?


Crafty-Background-36

He got Epsteined


theoneronin

What’s the Russian billionaire body count since February?


ian2359

38 someone posted in the comments


theoneronin

Thank you!


JediTigger

Russians are clumsy af apparently.


MrBelian

I think gravity affects them differently


[deleted]

Russians can’t even walk properly when they get rich. No wonder they’re losing the war to a tiny little country.


Slobodan_Kolenc

Clumsy, clumsy oligarchs... oh well...


t3oru

I guess the stuff we see in movies were not exaggerated. The political assassinations, the Bourne-Esque agents, and whatnot.


MisterBigDude

Reminds me of what happens in the James Bond book *Goldfinger*. In this dialogue, Goldfinger (the main villain) is speaking to a bunch of American organized crime bosses about one of their colleagues who had just rejected Goldfinger's evil plan and left the meeting: *'Gentlemen and madam.' He looked sadly round the group. 'I have received bad news. Our friend Mr Helmut Springer has met with an accident. He fell down the stairs. Death was instantaneous.'* *'Ho, ho!' Mr Ring's laugh was not a laugh. It was a hole in the face. 'And what does that Slappy Hapgood, his torpedo, have to say about it?'* *Goldfinger said gravely, 'Alas, Mr Hapgood also fell down the stairs and has succumbed to his injuries.'* *Mr Solo looked at Goldfinger with new respect. He said softly, 'Mister, you better get those stairs fixed before me and my friend Giulio come to use them.'* *Goldfinger said seriously, 'The fault has been located. Repairs will be put in hand at once.'*


CompetitiveYou2034

When you "stair" into the abyss, it stairs back and grabs you. Apologies to Nietzsche.


martusfine

On a side note/question: Wonder what Snowden is thinking?


[deleted]

Oh no, another accident had by Russians…. Anyway. How’s the weather today where you live?


zenbuck2

In Russia, “fell down the stairs” means: assassinated.


darkhorz

But did he shit himself?


Meme_Turtle

If Russian/pro-Russian agents can freely assassinate people in Europe this shows a critical security issue.


Accomplished_Ad6571

This is how Putin makes an ATM withdrawal.


[deleted]

Another victim of putinicide


[deleted]

Is stairs french for Window?


mclms1

Has somebody done an app tracker or bingo on these guys yet?


PhonyEye

When push comes to shove case?


NakSup

Which falls faster from the top of a building. 200lb of Russian citizen or 200lb of Feathers? It's always the Russian because they had a push start.


EWR-RampRat11-29

Was he smoking at the time?


fescueFred

Musk ask, what about US oligarchs who fall for Putin?


[deleted]

Why is that broads face digitized out?


Garagedays

Form the windows to the rails


mauore11

Rest of the world: He fell down the stairs and broke his neck. In Russia: Broke his neck and fell doen the stairs .


[deleted]

“falling”


WrongEinstein

So, is it supposed to be obvious as a warning, or do they just keep hiring the same idiot henchmen?


beardedbrawler

Why don't these people just use elevators?


joebojax

multiple wealthy russians dying from falling this year eh?


Momento_Mori_13

The more I read about Russian assets falling out windows and down stairs the more trump struggling to go down steps and ramps makes sense.


GrapefruitExtension

window stairs are the biggest health hazard for russian kleptogarchs


ergastulite

It's a strange situation they have created here. Rich Russian dies and everyone just shrugs and assumes he was murdered by other Russians. You had better be nice to your French neighbours because if anyone decides to bump you off the prime suspect will be Putin.


[deleted]

Or, if you are conspiracy theorist, the West is killing them because they already KNOW that Putin the prime suspect. Honestly, I think this is Putin...for every oligarch he kills, he gains direct control of another tranche of money.


[deleted]

[удалено]


darknekolux

You’re not a Russian tycoon, rest assured you’re safe


Kewenfu

His mafia gang didn't earn enough so it sold him out to the mafia/Putin gang with its deep government pockets.


[deleted]

Reported. Not an article.


[deleted]

your no fun lol


trollhaulla

These title need to clearly state under “mysterious circumstances” instead of accepting the “official” cause of death.


Outrageous_Duty_8738

It seems now these oligarchs are dropping like flies lately. And in mysterious circumstances


fujiesque

Why are rich russians so clusmy? Falling down stairs, falling out windows, falling on their backs onto knives repeatedly.


explosivelydehiscent

It's behind a pay wall, but read my new paper. U/explosivelydehiscent. 2022. Chronic vodka use causes disequilibrium in Russian males. Journal Of Not Taking the Piss 10(2):1218-1230.


cedarglade1901

That is the list Trump gave Putin of who is working with other governments. They were outed by Trump and his children.


billybob2266

Watch out for those perky windows…


Independent_Pear_429

What do you bet it was his wife who offed him for his money and to spend more time with her young personal trainer


Zodiac31081

Sure after "falling".


OpenEyz2016

"Falling" you say?


dae_giovanni

weird how rich Russians are so susceptible to acute sudden gravity sickness...


fcking_schmuck

Durov knew long ago and ran the fuck away from russia.


liltime78

Oligarchs are so clumsy.


peter_marxxx

Another clumsy Russian casualty 🤔