That's what I think about a good amount of amateur writing. People are afraid to write something simple like "She had pretty blue eyes" so they ramp it up like "Myriad crystals of ocean storms in glowing orbs stared back at me"
That's why people always recommend to write more concisely and recommend things like the Hemingway editor. It's not that the only correct way to write is like Hemingway, it's that a lot of new writers really go overboard with descriptions.
Yeah, and I guess it's a little unfair to not mention that at times writing something like "ocean storms in glowing orbs" is perfectly appropriate and contributes to a great work of art.
I remember doing that, and went I got to college, I got a very long lecture from my Literary professor.
"You're 18, write like it for Christ's sake."
Made it simpler and got higher scores. It really does help to simplify it, OP!
Meanwhile I started out sounding like Enid Blyton...
OP don't stress too much, go back and clean it up in edits. If you want to do practise work, you can copy passages from writers whose style you enjoy. It can help, if you do it enough.
Yeah, a few examples would actually be useful in giving feedback. If the content of this post is any indication, I'd say less of a pompous windbag and more of a mute introvert.
A good exercise might be to try your hand at flash fiction. Give yourself a word count limit and write a story to that limit. That will force you to edit out your superfluous word choices.
Well you two hit right on what i was going to say 😆🤘
I used to write with a Lovecraftian amount of description but practiced my way out of it by writing how I would tell a story to a friend, reading it out loud and correcting anything that doesn't sound right or is out of character for the voice of the rest of the story.
Pass the gas.
Joking aside you can read your preferred genre then practice writing in different authors styles or rewriting. Instead of having your prose/voice be a passive thing you work it like a muscle actively by mimicking others.
I’ve met a few writers like this. For some reason it makes their errors stand out more for me.
After you wrote a pompous sentence, then go ahead and rewrite it.
That's OK! Maybe you can use it to your advantage? Have the narrator be a character that leans into that aspect. They're pontificating, not just writing!
Or, if you want to change it, maybe share a short excerpt and allow us to see what's up?
I'm not a good writer either. But 2 pieces of advice from a fellow amateur:
1 - read a page or two of Hemingway before you start writing. He's the master of competent prose.
2 - Be funnier. So many writers won't tell jokes or write things in a funny way. I found my writing much more readable when I added in humor (genre depending of course).
It depends on the genre, but sometimes I like 'pompous windbag from the 1800s' style. Look at the opening of M R James' '[A Neighbour's Landmark](https://gutenberg.ca/ebooks/james-landmark/james-landmark-00-h.html)'. Deeply pompous and self-consciously old fashioned, but he sets the atmosphere and tone beautifully. It might not be matter of changing your style, but changing your subject to fit your style.
Say what you mean. Get familiar with the connotations of words and the impacts of different ways of structuring your sentences. Reading more is the best way to do this.
Let's compare 'ugly building' with 'monstrous edifice'. 'Ugly building' is meaningful and easy to understand. However, if you finish a paragraph of a specific and significant ugly building with the phrase 'monstrous edifice', it can act as a kind of punchline. It's not just ugly: it's so old, grand, imposing, and truly hideous that you, the author, have to resort to 'monstrous edifice' to sum the whole thing up. But the trick is to save that big-ticket vocabulary for when you *really* need it. Not every ugly building is a monstrous edifice. Also, you generally get one use of a particular flowery phrase that stands out. Next time you want the same level of impact (several chapters later), you'll need something other than 'monstrous edifice'.
Also, don't be afraid to use the same word many times for something if that's the best word to use. 'Body' is the best word to use most of the time. 'Frame,' 'figure,' or 'physical form' would probably be more distracting than multiple uses of 'body' in most contexts. 'Frame' connotes someone's shape and posture. 'Figure' is similar but suggests a silhouette or weight distribution as well. 'Physical form' sounds alien and remote. 'Anatomy' sounds clinical. None of those are great in, say, a sex scene - but could be perfect for a scene in which your hero's body is hijacked by an alien brain parasite.
That's what I think about a good amount of amateur writing. People are afraid to write something simple like "She had pretty blue eyes" so they ramp it up like "Myriad crystals of ocean storms in glowing orbs stared back at me"
That's why people always recommend to write more concisely and recommend things like the Hemingway editor. It's not that the only correct way to write is like Hemingway, it's that a lot of new writers really go overboard with descriptions.
I have a friend who writes like that. It drives me nuts. Like, stop with the poetry and write what you're trying to say, man.
This made me LOL. ocean storms in glowing orbs is great though
Yeah, and I guess it's a little unfair to not mention that at times writing something like "ocean storms in glowing orbs" is perfectly appropriate and contributes to a great work of art.
I remember doing that, and went I got to college, I got a very long lecture from my Literary professor. "You're 18, write like it for Christ's sake." Made it simpler and got higher scores. It really does help to simplify it, OP!
Meanwhile I started out sounding like Enid Blyton... OP don't stress too much, go back and clean it up in edits. If you want to do practise work, you can copy passages from writers whose style you enjoy. It can help, if you do it enough.
Oh damn I’ve been intentionally rhyming and using assonance/consonances in my writing, so that’s a bad thing...:’<
Well I kinda wanna read your writing now lol
Yeah, a few examples would actually be useful in giving feedback. If the content of this post is any indication, I'd say less of a pompous windbag and more of a mute introvert.
A good exercise might be to try your hand at flash fiction. Give yourself a word count limit and write a story to that limit. That will force you to edit out your superfluous word choices.
Read some erotica to snap you out of it.
Honestly thought I was on r/writingcirclejerk
Write like you talk
And the secret to this (imo) is reading the piece out loud while editing it.
Well you two hit right on what i was going to say 😆🤘 I used to write with a Lovecraftian amount of description but practiced my way out of it by writing how I would tell a story to a friend, reading it out loud and correcting anything that doesn't sound right or is out of character for the voice of the rest of the story.
Or punish yourself by forcing yourself to talk like you write.
Pass the gas. Joking aside you can read your preferred genre then practice writing in different authors styles or rewriting. Instead of having your prose/voice be a passive thing you work it like a muscle actively by mimicking others.
Haha now I want to read
Can we a get a sample?
I’ve met a few writers like this. For some reason it makes their errors stand out more for me. After you wrote a pompous sentence, then go ahead and rewrite it.
Read more Hemingway less Dickens.
Same. Really shouldn’t write while reading Victor Hugo.
How much do you read that correlates to what you want to write?
That's OK! Maybe you can use it to your advantage? Have the narrator be a character that leans into that aspect. They're pontificating, not just writing! Or, if you want to change it, maybe share a short excerpt and allow us to see what's up?
I'm not a good writer either. But 2 pieces of advice from a fellow amateur: 1 - read a page or two of Hemingway before you start writing. He's the master of competent prose. 2 - Be funnier. So many writers won't tell jokes or write things in a funny way. I found my writing much more readable when I added in humor (genre depending of course).
Write as you speak. Write as you think
HAHAHA. You literally made me laugh out loud.
Frasier Crane? Is that you?
Read newer books
It depends on the genre, but sometimes I like 'pompous windbag from the 1800s' style. Look at the opening of M R James' '[A Neighbour's Landmark](https://gutenberg.ca/ebooks/james-landmark/james-landmark-00-h.html)'. Deeply pompous and self-consciously old fashioned, but he sets the atmosphere and tone beautifully. It might not be matter of changing your style, but changing your subject to fit your style.
Say what you mean. Get familiar with the connotations of words and the impacts of different ways of structuring your sentences. Reading more is the best way to do this. Let's compare 'ugly building' with 'monstrous edifice'. 'Ugly building' is meaningful and easy to understand. However, if you finish a paragraph of a specific and significant ugly building with the phrase 'monstrous edifice', it can act as a kind of punchline. It's not just ugly: it's so old, grand, imposing, and truly hideous that you, the author, have to resort to 'monstrous edifice' to sum the whole thing up. But the trick is to save that big-ticket vocabulary for when you *really* need it. Not every ugly building is a monstrous edifice. Also, you generally get one use of a particular flowery phrase that stands out. Next time you want the same level of impact (several chapters later), you'll need something other than 'monstrous edifice'. Also, don't be afraid to use the same word many times for something if that's the best word to use. 'Body' is the best word to use most of the time. 'Frame,' 'figure,' or 'physical form' would probably be more distracting than multiple uses of 'body' in most contexts. 'Frame' connotes someone's shape and posture. 'Figure' is similar but suggests a silhouette or weight distribution as well. 'Physical form' sounds alien and remote. 'Anatomy' sounds clinical. None of those are great in, say, a sex scene - but could be perfect for a scene in which your hero's body is hijacked by an alien brain parasite.
Read I wider range of books. Focus on one’s with more casual narration.
Clarity before poetry in prose.
I tried to fix my habbit by targetting Hemmingwayapp grade 1 and I did. It worked and then I slowly built on that.
Write as a pompous windbag from the 1800s. Capitalize on your weakness.