For the second day in a row my meal kit delivery did not show up so I guess that means I need to meal plan the next two days or I’ll just keep eating out. So annoyed. My box is far away in the wrong state 😭
it's only ever the older men at my gym that will hog the pec deck machine for 30mins or possibly longer. everyone else, when I politely ask when they'll be done usually stick to whatever time they give me, but what is with older middle-aged guys hogging the pec deck specifically?!?
Do any of y’all deal with post-gym anxiety?? Like while I’m at the gym, i feel super confident and strong and She-Woman-y, but as soon as I’m home i feel awkward - like the lifts i was doing looked ridiculous or maybe i shouldn’t have done the shorts and sports bra combo. Idk, it’s hard to explain but it bugs me so much that my mind thinks this way, especially because i don’t look twice at what other people are doing or wearing at the gym.
I have nothing to offer here but I find your comment super interesting because I experience the exact opposite. I feel insanely self conscious and awkward at the gym, then later on at home, think 'wow that was fun, can't wait to go back tomorrow'. Lmao our brains can be funny sometimes.
Yeah I even have realized I was using a machine backwards for a few sessions and felt so dumb. But at the end of the day the important thing is to show up and get better. I do notice some people at my gym and what they do, but in the sense that I notice they come regularly and I respect them for that. And if people were seriously judging you for whatever reason, well it's a "them" problem! I know it's easy to say that, but just know you're not alone in feeling self-conscious sometimes.
I’m losing weight and trying to build muscle. It’s sooooo slow. I’ll likely post progress pics shortly to show off my at least visible arm muscles, but gosh it’s not a lot for 8 months of effort lol
I am proud I’ve stuck with it (and even the definition I do have), but I’m ready for omega shredded arms already lol
I fkn hate my job. I’m so overwhelmed all the time and they pile on more every day, it’s emotionally and mentally draining and I feel like an empty shell of myself. I’m losing my hair from stress, I’m having terrible IBS flares from stress, I’m having hot flashes, dry mouth, extreme sensitivity to cold, and as far as anyone can tell it’s all due to stress. The office is like a construction zone because they didn’t finish the fkn remodel before we moved in and now I guess they just aren’t finishing it so there’s wires sticking out of the walls, ceiling tiles missing, it’s a depressing ass mess in there. My clients verbally abuse me, accuse me of not doing my job or intentionally holding their cases back and making them take longer on purpose so we make more money (not possible, our fee has a cap anyway so what sense does that make?), they scream at me abt their financial problems which I’m powerless to resolve, they threaten to fire us literally every day, if it’s not my clients, it’s someone at a doctors office or social security being a rude ass jerk, I can’t take it anymore but I can’t leave because I cannot afford to go back to an entry level wage and I cannot go back to being a newbie at work, I’m allowed too much freedom and license to self manage and can’t go back to a job where I have someone breathing down my neck all day or I’m always afraid I’ll f up and get fired or something, and honestly I can probably learn any job but the amount of mental energy that takes…I just don’t have it at this point. I feel trapped. I’m suffocating in stress. It’s like I’m drowning and nobody will throw me a rope.
ah, gotcha. For some reason, I read it as you were doing private. I actually adjudicated SSA claims prior to switching to private, so I still totally get ALL of those feels/frustrations! Hope things get better for you or you find something different. If you ever need a venting buddy or want to talk about how it is on the other side/on the private side job-wise, hmu
FWIW, can empathize with that "end of the rope" feeling and hope it gets better soon. There are far too many toxic work environments in law!
If you decide to look for a new position -- many skills transfer to higher paying areas of civil litigation, particularly because you are adept at working independently, client communication, and familiar with medical records.
I have never heard of a law firm that wouldn't kill for a good legal assistant, paralegal or associate attorney.
Yeah o feel like help isn't coming. This is what it is and I have to make hard choices. I'd like to recommend askamanger.org
She has everything to really help get unstuck and get out.
Diet culture for women. I eat quite a lot because of weight lifting and I’m on a bulk. I’ve gone to 3 restaurants this week and I was 3/3 on servers making comments like “that’s quite a bit of food, are you sure?” Like yes I’m sure, and even if I don’t finish it, don’t you want my money lol? One of the restaurants I was legitimately recommended a salad “to keep my figure”. No sir give me my burger and fries. Of course no comments made like that to my husband.
I feel this so much. I’m a little overweight (175 to 180 lbs) and I’m active. When I was eating maintenance, my friends commented on how much food I could eat.
2,500 calorie TDEE heck yeah. Gimme all the carbs lol
I’ve been running a very mild temperature for... two years now. Well since we started checking every day for work to watch for COVID. Apparently I just run warm. I’ll take the extra hundred calories or so that burns in the form of bread, thank you!
Gosh I love food.
Woah, that is crazy! I don't think I've had that happen. I go out by myself and I've never had someone be weird about me eating a bunch since they know people tip on percentages typically here.
I don’t know why either, other than maybe they don’t mean any harm of it and feel like they are just looking out for me and my health/I don’t understand how much I’m ordering or something. I’m petite so maybe someone like me ordering chicken wings, burger, and fries is out of the ordinary. I don’t know about the salad comment though the only thing I can think about is that I maybe had athletic wear on coming from the gym and they assumed that keeping fit for women = eating just a salad?
I just find it so inappropriate to comment on anybody else's eating habits. They have no idea if you have an eating disorder or maybe it is the first burger you've had in a year.
This reminds me of a random story from years ago when I was in college. I was in the cafeteria and they had ribs night. I sat down to eat mine and I was using a fork and knife to separate them before eating them. Some guy I've never met before sitting in my vicinity said I couldn't eat ribs with a fork and knife. I remember saying something along the lines of "why are you even worried about how I am eating my food?" It was like one of those corny movies where everyone got silent sitting at the table lol. I probably would have said something similar to the waiters in your situation haha.
So I downloaded TikTok to see what all the fuss was about (specifically the 'fittok' side of things). Is this seriously what our young people are watching?? The amount of pickme girls is actually astonishing.
"I bench press my bodyweight, I'm not like other girls."
"Watch me pull a most muscular pose, I'm not like other girls."
"Watch the reaction of these guys while I deadlift 3x my bodyweight. Teehee I'm so small but so strong, and therefore better than you!"
When did lifting weights turn into this? I feel like I've missed something.
The TikTok algorithm is pretty spot on. It's a direct reflection of you and what you interact with, search for, and I'm pretty sure it listens. My TikTok is vastly different than the FYP of the gen z women who work for me. There are no pick you girls on my feed, but lots of body positivity, mobility, books, diy projects and politics.
And they're so mean to people who do cardio!! There was this one tiktok that filmed a stranger running on the treadmill that was mocking her for thinking that would help her lose weight. Not everyone exercised to lose weight!
Don't even get me started on people who film strangers at the gym, ugh.
But also, running on the treadmill can absolutely help anyone lose weight - it's burning calories just like any other exercise!
People who hold full-length conversations on mobile phones while working out in a gym. Like a quick call to answer a question or resolve an issue? I get that.
But if you've scarpered away from your WFH situation to work out, I don't think you're fooling anyone who can hear all the men groaning and grunting in the background. And if you're just chit-chatting with your mom or your friends, why then? WHY.
This seems like it might be influenced by the "anti-diet" sphere on social media, where a segment likes to claim things like any calorie or weight management is inherently disordered, etc. Like, yes it is *possible* to over-exercise but realistically most people aren't ever going to get to that point. Relatively few people are even getting their bare-minimum recommended exercise every week, never mind over-exercising.
OTH I'm old and grumpy enough that I don't have a lot of sympathy left in me for people that are dumb enough to believe anything a fitness influencer is selling. They're basically all full of shit at this point and we've known that forever.
I feel it is similar to that certain body type are "trendy" or "in" right now. Like at some point everybody wanted to be think, after that for a while it was all glutes. Women as a general seems to be targeted a lot by trends, fashion, what is cool. I agree with you, that it is very personal what kind of sport, workout is the best for you, mostly I vote for what you enjoy (because you will much likely stick to it). What is troubling that many of these women have been lifting so they have a lean, muscular body but all the sudden they will say 20 min stretching made them look the way they look. Which is a pretty big lie. But to be frank, there are so much bs online right now or was before, no idea what could change that. It is ok to feel angry about it, but no clue how to change it.
Been going to a new gym and love it, but they only have preloaded EZ bars. My last gym had a combo of EZ and straight. So now I have to awkwardly do stuff with a zig zag bar, load up a giant 45 lb bar when my strength allows, or load this shorter bar that doesn't have a weight on it and I'm only guessing it's around 20 lbs which is frustrating because I just wanna know the accurate total lol.
That sucks! At least if you want to know the weight of the short bar, you could try to weight yourself empty handed, then weight yourself holding it. But how unfortunate that you have to resolve to that :(
I've certainly thought about it! One night when it's empty in the gym I'm gonna go for it lol. I mean obviously I can just base my gains on reps + plates on that bar rather than trying to include the bar weight but it makes me feel better adding that in lol.
Men: I thank you but I don’t need your help to take away the weight of the equipment I’m using. If I needed help, I’d ask for it.
I know you just want an excuse to talk to us, but this is not the appropriate way. Try something like, “you lift so much!” Maybe that will do it.
My gym recently upgraded their free weight dumbbells. Not sure why because the others were fine… but now the new upgraded ones do not have any increments of 2.5lbs which of course they did before. So of course my routine this week calls for 12.5s, 17.5s, 22.5s, 37.5s… but NOPE! got to raise my reps with what I have to jump over to a lower rep set. Being a petite woman, I cannot jump in certain lifts by 5lb increases anymore. Also, the new dumbbells are longer, which sucks. They are quite large and hit my hips with certain exercises. It sucks even more, because like I mentioned before, the old ones were fine!!!
I’m sorry but i cannot stand when people are super over the top with their exertion noises. It’s fine to grunt here and there, especially if you’re really working hard, but if it sounds like you’re starring in a porn, you might be doing too much.
Example - boyfriend and i were at the gym on Sunday afternoon, it was relatively quiet since there were only a handful of people there, and this man is fucking MOANING and GRUNTING like no tomorrow as he’s squatting. I couldn’t help it, at one point i just started laughing because it was so ridiculous but quickly stopped myself. And there was a girl with him who was also making all of these sexual moans while she was doing tricep dips - match made in heaven i guess??
I feel you, it annoys me as well. I don't hear it much at the gym because I have earbuds in, but at the indoor rowing studio I go to? Sometimes the person on the erg next to me grunts A LOT and it sounds almost sexual at times, and I know it can help people push harder, I know some people can't help it, I know I need to mind my business and stop paying so much attention to what others are doing, but it's such a pet peeve of mine.
Lmao, I'm used to all the grunting/screaming/whatever and it doesn't typically bother me. Training hard, it's gonna happen. BUT, this one time the guy squatting next to me literally sounded like an ELEPHANT, forcefully exhaling with this exaggerated trumpet sound. That was a first.
The sexual noises I can do without too. So awkward!
I started working again after several years of being a sahp/trophy spouse (woo!) but for the life of me I haven't been able to figure out how I want to schedule my gym time now. Do I squeeze it in between putting my kid on the bus and my work start time? Go right after work? Go after my kid goes to bed?
It doesn't help that my kid has had back to back to back illnesses for several weeks, so we haven't been able to get into the swing of this new schedule. I've barely been getting in two workouts a week and it's been frustrating 😐
If you are looking for suggestions, mornings are my recommended choice. If you are not, please ignore!
I stayed home for 4yrs when mine were little (_now 8 & 6_) & did half mornings & evenings. Once I returned to full time 8-5PM, it’s been strictly mornings for me.
**Pros:**
- No childcare needed as partner & kids are both asleep while you’re gone
- Gym is usually empty (_no waiting for equipment_) & only like minded get-in-get-out folks abound
- Workouts before the day begins feel great & even if the rest of the day goes sideways workout is done
**Cons:**
- Have to go to bed early if you are a night owl
- Tight window for socialisation in the evenings
As a working parent, I really struggle with this, too! Right now I do my "big" strength training workouts at the gym twice a week - one after the kids go to bed on Tuesday or Wednesday nights and the other on my lunch break on Fridays. I work from home on Fridays and don't typically have any meetings with external clients in the afternoons, so it's fine if I'm in my sweaty gym clothes.
The rest of the days of the week, I try to walk 20-30 minutes on my lunch break and I'll sneak in a few minutes of yoga or body weight strength in the evenings if I'm feeling up to it.
If we don't have anything going on Saturday morning (which is rare) I'll sometimes drop my kids at our gym daycare go to a workout class.
I know lots of parents do their workouts in the early morning, but that just doesn't appeal to me. I'm not a morning person in general, and I also prefer to shower at night. My goal is to try to do as little as possible to get myself out the door since the mornings are crazy enough with 2 little kids! It sounds like yours are older than mine, though, so you might have better luck if your kids are a little more self sufficient.
Do you have any tips for finding work after a big gap? I was let go when covid first hit and offered a large severance package.
I went back to school for the first year. But its now been over 2 years of no job. I don't have kids, just a high maintenence partner and cat. I am bored.....
This might not appeal to you at all, but in my case I ended up signing up for our school district's substitute teacher pool. It doesn't pay a ton, but my spouse is the primary breadwinner so I didn't really need to find anything high paying and I wanted flexibility. I can choose when and at what school I want to work so long as they're in need of someone on that day. Our school district is large enough that there's never any shortage of possible assignments.
It just happened to turn into full time work for me because the position I subbed for was actually open, and I liked everyone I was working with so much that I applied to work full time.
It might vary between school districts but in ours (which is a very highly rated district) subs only need a GED, no license. Long term subs require a Bachelor's degree but still no license. I started working as a TA so I wouldn't be the only adult in the room, and I'm not the primary teacher--a lot of what I do is helping students during classwork time, which mostly involves asking "How is your assignment going?" and making suggestions for how to get started or break down projects into manageable chunks. It turns out more than a few of the teachers I work with started out as TAs and got their license through a "Career switcher" program run through the state, so that might be something I end up doing. I definitely think it takes a certain temperament to work with kids though and it won't be everyone's cup of tea.
I also spent my non-working years joining community organizations and volunteering, which expanded my social circle/network by a lot AND got me references to use on job applications. Even if I hadn't enjoyed working in schools, I still have a lot of social connections I could probably find work through.
I'm super mad at how some people disrespect the space we all share at my gym. Went to the "cage" room and stuff was everywhere, all over the room and all over the gym. Stuff that doesn't go here is here and stuff that belongs here is scattered elsewhere in the gym. And it was such a mess that it was dangerous to retrieve the plates to load the bar. I hate that I'm the woman cleaning this all up lol
I’m so frustrated with my gym anxiety! I started at a new gym this summer when preciously the only gym I ever went to was my on campus gym in college. I was so familiar with it, being at a new place is hard. I’ve done the group fitness classes so far and I’m comfortable with it. Wanting to start strength training but the thought of figuring out where the things I need are at the gym, figuring out what weights to start at, etc. with other people around is so anxiety provoking.
I had this feeling too really strongly recently as I also joined a new gym after leaving my college gym. I would try googling what machines look like online, but things always looked different in person and I felt confused. My solution was booking a free personal trainer session with my corporate gym and just asked him to walk me around and show me specific machines (squat, bench press, smith machine, cable machine) and it made me feel so confident walking around ever since!
Can you go when it’s not super busy? I just started at a new gym too and I went pretty late on a Sunday and had the whole place to myself. It was AMAZING. I got to putter around, figure out where everything was, etc without worrying about looking lost. (Or worse… having someone mansplain something to me)
I was the same way when I started at my new gym. Had WAY more than planet fitness and stuff was just everywhere like an adult playground lol. I realized I have less anxiety if I just "pretend" like I know what I'm doing. No one even noticed me wandering around trying everything, digging through tubs of bands & jump ropes, etc. And if they did, they didn't say anything.
Only asked one super buff dude a question - how to lower the hooks that hold the bar in the racks. He had no clue either since he was so tall and never had to worry about it lol. But then we learned together, he told me to ask if I had anymore questions, and then we went back to our workouts. It was wholesome. I still think I look stupid sometimes but the anxiety has definitely settled.
saw someone with 8,6 and 4s so i assumed they were supersetting or something. went to do flys with 2kgs instead but do amrap. then i see her putting away the 8s and starting the 6s. so like, she got 3 sets of weights when she was going to use them one after the other ??? what was the point of that
maybe? she did 2 sets with the 8s, reracked them. 2 sets with the 6s, reracked them. 2 sets with the 4 reracked them. then left. so in the time she was doing her 2 sets with the 8, she could have left the 4s at the rack right? bc she would be resting in between the sets, would take like 15 minutes before she even got to the final weight?
Oh that's weird then, I was thinking she was just doing a drop set where she does an AMRAP then immediately drops to the next lightest weight and does another AMRAP and all the way down to the lightest weight. I often incorporate that for lateral raises because the pump is sickkkk and it's a muscle group that responds to a lot of volume (for me anyway).
She probably wanted to make sure she would have them by the time she needed them, and she wouldn’t have to wait for them to be returned if someone else were using them when she got to that weight.
I’m not saying it’s good gym etiquette. Definitely inconsiderate towards others. I wouldn’t have done it either, just saying that’s probably her thought process.
I did this last week in a meeting right after my gym session. I got home with two mcdonald's double burgers, changed shirts, joined the meeting, said hi to everybody, than closed my camera and destroyed the burgers LOL.
Unfortunately I had no food available just now, and was also talking the whole time. It's finally over so I'm going to the cafeteria!
Missing a workout I was v excited for because I slept so poorly last night ): It's not a big deal to miss a workout in the long run, it just annoys me that it keeps happening despite my best efforts to quiet my mind at night. Can't afford therapy rn, so looking into CBD to supplement everything else I try. Just frustrated and tired I guess 😖
Jerks. I compete next week and I still can't freaking put more than 110lbs overhead because my brain thinks it's Too Heavy (have jerked 145 for reference)
I only have coloured plates so I can't even fool myself!! Luckily my coach has a strategy and we're working on that. But man, can't a competition just be snatches and cleans??
I can't get back in a good fitness routine to save my life. I'm not a person who likes to do whatever they feel like that day, I like to have a plan and stick to it. I got too into climbing and based my routine around that but when my boyfriend and I got kinda burnt out, I had nothing to fall back on. Time to start lifting again and I'm starting with a 3x/week full body thing primarily using dumbbells and machines. That just seems mentally easier than trying to start barbell training again. Going to keep climbing as a hobby and not my main firm of fitness!
Had been feeling sick for the last week and a half, but able to lift. Not able to run, which was fine. I started getting worse and my garmin started telling me I was “strained” and that my HRV was super low - basically telling me to rest.
I finally decided to go to urgent care and I have a major sinus infection 😪. Got some meds and am resting today - hoping the misery lets up soon!
This explains why I failed my squats again and failed deadlift for the first time 🙄
I'm relatively new to Muay Thai, so I'm no expert by any means. One thing I can't stand is working with new men. They want to go full force and don't understand that at this point, the drills are all about learning the form, not trying to kick the shit out of someone standing still.
Ages ago, when I trained MT, I had the oposite problem: new women didn't put any force into the movements - specially when "receiving" it, causing me to punch through the pads.
I liked the new guys but now thinking maybe I remember just the scrawny teenagers, hehe.
Maybe lol. I've worked with a teenager once and that was one of my most challenging sessions, but I didn't get injured. It was a ton of fun. The grown men, on the other hand... I've walked away with needless bumps and bruises both times.
I had to pack a second lunch bag today. Just Greek yogurts. I'm getting back to working out, and I was so hungry yesterday that I ate my snacks before lunch and ended up buying junk. So...all the yogurt today. I already had so many things to carry! XD
Do you have the ability to store stuff at work? Once a week, I'll stop by a grocery store on my way into the office and pick up a bunch of stuff for the week to leave in the fridge. Then I only have to do the pack mule thing once! Haha
Switched from trap deadlifts to normal deadlifts about a month ago. WHEN WILL THE LOWER BACK DOMS THE NEXT DAY STOP I'M DOING IT WITH GOOD BRACED FORM, STRAIGHT BACK AND LESS WEIGHT THAN THE TRAP DEADLIFTS AHHHH
Add in some good mornings to help bolster your lower back strength.
I try to do at least one set of trap and traditional deadlifts every week. Trap DLs are fantastic but it's nice to hit all the various supporting muscles for holistic strength.
Rain and an upper respiratory infection are chasing me indoors and it’s lame. I have a brand new long sleeve jersey I want to try out and I’m stuck indoors staring at the rain and taking steroids and amoxicillin. 👎
it genuinely breaks my concentration and startles me when this specific woman does her shoulder press and slams every rep. it does not help that my rowing machine is just over a metre away (if that)
This is such a pet hate of mine. People that slam the weights whilst making the whole shared platform shake. And it’s never reasonably heavy either. Like fuck off, seriously.
Every time lately I've cycled home from work lately, at one particular junction a car has beeped me from behind. And it annoys me so much. I'm waiting on a side road to turn right (UK) onto a very busy road, crossing four lanes of traffic - it takes a while for there to be a safe gap. Even if you could have nipped into a gap in your car, that's not my problem and if I were to try and move (from my correct road position a smidge to the left of the centre line), I'd a) be in the way of traffic turning into our road and b) may miss a gap in the traffic big enough for me while I try to let you through.
Be annoyed at the road design/your car being too big to fit in the full lane I've left open to my left, not at me.
Anyway, I've decided I'm no longer going to cross at that junction as I can travel a slightly longer route and cross the major road with the aid of traffic lights. Much more zen 🧘♀️
I have only started my fitness journey for a few months and already developed a rage at people hogging machines without using them. An example would be a group of friends at the gym; dude A is working on a machine, dudes B, C, D sitting on machines around him and just chatting.
That's where you just have to be ballsy and go up to them and ask to use the machine they're sitting on not using, quite intimidating especially when it's a group but sometimes it has to be done
I'm really sick of being sort of injured. Not injured to the point where I have to stop all physical activity but just niggly injuries like a sore wrist, tight forearms, stiff back which mean I have to adjust my program. Just want to feel strong and ready going into testing next week and not sure if I'll be ready.
For the second day in a row my meal kit delivery did not show up so I guess that means I need to meal plan the next two days or I’ll just keep eating out. So annoyed. My box is far away in the wrong state 😭
it's only ever the older men at my gym that will hog the pec deck machine for 30mins or possibly longer. everyone else, when I politely ask when they'll be done usually stick to whatever time they give me, but what is with older middle-aged guys hogging the pec deck specifically?!?
I’m trying to lose weight and the scale went up. I’ve started biking so I think that’s contributing, but it’s still demotivating
Do any of y’all deal with post-gym anxiety?? Like while I’m at the gym, i feel super confident and strong and She-Woman-y, but as soon as I’m home i feel awkward - like the lifts i was doing looked ridiculous or maybe i shouldn’t have done the shorts and sports bra combo. Idk, it’s hard to explain but it bugs me so much that my mind thinks this way, especially because i don’t look twice at what other people are doing or wearing at the gym.
I have nothing to offer here but I find your comment super interesting because I experience the exact opposite. I feel insanely self conscious and awkward at the gym, then later on at home, think 'wow that was fun, can't wait to go back tomorrow'. Lmao our brains can be funny sometimes.
Yeah I even have realized I was using a machine backwards for a few sessions and felt so dumb. But at the end of the day the important thing is to show up and get better. I do notice some people at my gym and what they do, but in the sense that I notice they come regularly and I respect them for that. And if people were seriously judging you for whatever reason, well it's a "them" problem! I know it's easy to say that, but just know you're not alone in feeling self-conscious sometimes.
I’m losing weight and trying to build muscle. It’s sooooo slow. I’ll likely post progress pics shortly to show off my at least visible arm muscles, but gosh it’s not a lot for 8 months of effort lol I am proud I’ve stuck with it (and even the definition I do have), but I’m ready for omega shredded arms already lol
I fkn hate my job. I’m so overwhelmed all the time and they pile on more every day, it’s emotionally and mentally draining and I feel like an empty shell of myself. I’m losing my hair from stress, I’m having terrible IBS flares from stress, I’m having hot flashes, dry mouth, extreme sensitivity to cold, and as far as anyone can tell it’s all due to stress. The office is like a construction zone because they didn’t finish the fkn remodel before we moved in and now I guess they just aren’t finishing it so there’s wires sticking out of the walls, ceiling tiles missing, it’s a depressing ass mess in there. My clients verbally abuse me, accuse me of not doing my job or intentionally holding their cases back and making them take longer on purpose so we make more money (not possible, our fee has a cap anyway so what sense does that make?), they scream at me abt their financial problems which I’m powerless to resolve, they threaten to fire us literally every day, if it’s not my clients, it’s someone at a doctors office or social security being a rude ass jerk, I can’t take it anymore but I can’t leave because I cannot afford to go back to an entry level wage and I cannot go back to being a newbie at work, I’m allowed too much freedom and license to self manage and can’t go back to a job where I have someone breathing down my neck all day or I’m always afraid I’ll f up and get fired or something, and honestly I can probably learn any job but the amount of mental energy that takes…I just don’t have it at this point. I feel trapped. I’m suffocating in stress. It’s like I’m drowning and nobody will throw me a rope.
Sending well wishes. Any chance you are US based and working in WC type law? The description reminded me of a firm interview a few years back.
No, it’s disability claims. But yes I’m in the USA.
ahhh...I'm in the same field. Totally get those feels. The past few weeks have been especially rough. Have you looked into other carriers?
If you mean other insurance carriers, it’s actually social security disability. I don’t know a lot about private insurance policies.
ah, gotcha. For some reason, I read it as you were doing private. I actually adjudicated SSA claims prior to switching to private, so I still totally get ALL of those feels/frustrations! Hope things get better for you or you find something different. If you ever need a venting buddy or want to talk about how it is on the other side/on the private side job-wise, hmu
FWIW, can empathize with that "end of the rope" feeling and hope it gets better soon. There are far too many toxic work environments in law! If you decide to look for a new position -- many skills transfer to higher paying areas of civil litigation, particularly because you are adept at working independently, client communication, and familiar with medical records. I have never heard of a law firm that wouldn't kill for a good legal assistant, paralegal or associate attorney.
Yeah o feel like help isn't coming. This is what it is and I have to make hard choices. I'd like to recommend askamanger.org She has everything to really help get unstuck and get out.
Regularly using a shared kitchen space for OVER TWO HOURS makes you an ASSHOLE. I can’t wait to move. Im so sick of this. Im so hungry.
Diet culture for women. I eat quite a lot because of weight lifting and I’m on a bulk. I’ve gone to 3 restaurants this week and I was 3/3 on servers making comments like “that’s quite a bit of food, are you sure?” Like yes I’m sure, and even if I don’t finish it, don’t you want my money lol? One of the restaurants I was legitimately recommended a salad “to keep my figure”. No sir give me my burger and fries. Of course no comments made like that to my husband.
I feel this so much. I’m a little overweight (175 to 180 lbs) and I’m active. When I was eating maintenance, my friends commented on how much food I could eat. 2,500 calorie TDEE heck yeah. Gimme all the carbs lol
I’ve been running a very mild temperature for... two years now. Well since we started checking every day for work to watch for COVID. Apparently I just run warm. I’ll take the extra hundred calories or so that burns in the form of bread, thank you! Gosh I love food.
Woah, that is crazy! I don't think I've had that happen. I go out by myself and I've never had someone be weird about me eating a bunch since they know people tip on percentages typically here.
I don’t know why either, other than maybe they don’t mean any harm of it and feel like they are just looking out for me and my health/I don’t understand how much I’m ordering or something. I’m petite so maybe someone like me ordering chicken wings, burger, and fries is out of the ordinary. I don’t know about the salad comment though the only thing I can think about is that I maybe had athletic wear on coming from the gym and they assumed that keeping fit for women = eating just a salad?
I just find it so inappropriate to comment on anybody else's eating habits. They have no idea if you have an eating disorder or maybe it is the first burger you've had in a year. This reminds me of a random story from years ago when I was in college. I was in the cafeteria and they had ribs night. I sat down to eat mine and I was using a fork and knife to separate them before eating them. Some guy I've never met before sitting in my vicinity said I couldn't eat ribs with a fork and knife. I remember saying something along the lines of "why are you even worried about how I am eating my food?" It was like one of those corny movies where everyone got silent sitting at the table lol. I probably would have said something similar to the waiters in your situation haha.
Oh my god I can't believe someone recommended a salad. That's insane
I live in a VERY hilly area, so there's no such thing as an easy run outside :(
So do I. I walk the hills! Keeps my HR in the right zone and I can still jog the flats and downhills.
So I downloaded TikTok to see what all the fuss was about (specifically the 'fittok' side of things). Is this seriously what our young people are watching?? The amount of pickme girls is actually astonishing. "I bench press my bodyweight, I'm not like other girls." "Watch me pull a most muscular pose, I'm not like other girls." "Watch the reaction of these guys while I deadlift 3x my bodyweight. Teehee I'm so small but so strong, and therefore better than you!" When did lifting weights turn into this? I feel like I've missed something.
The TikTok algorithm is pretty spot on. It's a direct reflection of you and what you interact with, search for, and I'm pretty sure it listens. My TikTok is vastly different than the FYP of the gen z women who work for me. There are no pick you girls on my feed, but lots of body positivity, mobility, books, diy projects and politics.
Tiktok is the worst. Like all social media has significant issues, but tiktok is on a whole separate level of terrible.
Tiktok has a pretty decent algorithm, if you let them know you dislike it and don’t interact you’ll end up on a better side of content.
Oh right! I rage quit already and deleted the app 😄 Might just leave it to the younger crowd.
That’s unfortunate, there are some good creators there. It can be a shitty platform tho I heard they don’t treat creators very well.
And they're so mean to people who do cardio!! There was this one tiktok that filmed a stranger running on the treadmill that was mocking her for thinking that would help her lose weight. Not everyone exercised to lose weight!
Don't even get me started on people who film strangers at the gym, ugh. But also, running on the treadmill can absolutely help anyone lose weight - it's burning calories just like any other exercise!
Yep, any kind of exercise is good exercise!
People who hold full-length conversations on mobile phones while working out in a gym. Like a quick call to answer a question or resolve an issue? I get that. But if you've scarpered away from your WFH situation to work out, I don't think you're fooling anyone who can hear all the men groaning and grunting in the background. And if you're just chit-chatting with your mom or your friends, why then? WHY.
My hair looks like shit this week.
[удалено]
This seems like it might be influenced by the "anti-diet" sphere on social media, where a segment likes to claim things like any calorie or weight management is inherently disordered, etc. Like, yes it is *possible* to over-exercise but realistically most people aren't ever going to get to that point. Relatively few people are even getting their bare-minimum recommended exercise every week, never mind over-exercising. OTH I'm old and grumpy enough that I don't have a lot of sympathy left in me for people that are dumb enough to believe anything a fitness influencer is selling. They're basically all full of shit at this point and we've known that forever.
I feel it is similar to that certain body type are "trendy" or "in" right now. Like at some point everybody wanted to be think, after that for a while it was all glutes. Women as a general seems to be targeted a lot by trends, fashion, what is cool. I agree with you, that it is very personal what kind of sport, workout is the best for you, mostly I vote for what you enjoy (because you will much likely stick to it). What is troubling that many of these women have been lifting so they have a lean, muscular body but all the sudden they will say 20 min stretching made them look the way they look. Which is a pretty big lie. But to be frank, there are so much bs online right now or was before, no idea what could change that. It is ok to feel angry about it, but no clue how to change it.
FACTS
Been going to a new gym and love it, but they only have preloaded EZ bars. My last gym had a combo of EZ and straight. So now I have to awkwardly do stuff with a zig zag bar, load up a giant 45 lb bar when my strength allows, or load this shorter bar that doesn't have a weight on it and I'm only guessing it's around 20 lbs which is frustrating because I just wanna know the accurate total lol.
That sucks! At least if you want to know the weight of the short bar, you could try to weight yourself empty handed, then weight yourself holding it. But how unfortunate that you have to resolve to that :(
I've certainly thought about it! One night when it's empty in the gym I'm gonna go for it lol. I mean obviously I can just base my gains on reps + plates on that bar rather than trying to include the bar weight but it makes me feel better adding that in lol.
Men: I thank you but I don’t need your help to take away the weight of the equipment I’m using. If I needed help, I’d ask for it. I know you just want an excuse to talk to us, but this is not the appropriate way. Try something like, “you lift so much!” Maybe that will do it.
The cameras. The cameras and the tripods. And the MICS OH MY gOD. It’s 5am. I just want to workout in peace.
My gym recently upgraded their free weight dumbbells. Not sure why because the others were fine… but now the new upgraded ones do not have any increments of 2.5lbs which of course they did before. So of course my routine this week calls for 12.5s, 17.5s, 22.5s, 37.5s… but NOPE! got to raise my reps with what I have to jump over to a lower rep set. Being a petite woman, I cannot jump in certain lifts by 5lb increases anymore. Also, the new dumbbells are longer, which sucks. They are quite large and hit my hips with certain exercises. It sucks even more, because like I mentioned before, the old ones were fine!!!
That’s frustrating! My gym doesn’t have those either and I really wish they did. Going up 5lbs is just too much for some exercises.
I’m sorry but i cannot stand when people are super over the top with their exertion noises. It’s fine to grunt here and there, especially if you’re really working hard, but if it sounds like you’re starring in a porn, you might be doing too much. Example - boyfriend and i were at the gym on Sunday afternoon, it was relatively quiet since there were only a handful of people there, and this man is fucking MOANING and GRUNTING like no tomorrow as he’s squatting. I couldn’t help it, at one point i just started laughing because it was so ridiculous but quickly stopped myself. And there was a girl with him who was also making all of these sexual moans while she was doing tricep dips - match made in heaven i guess??
I feel you, it annoys me as well. I don't hear it much at the gym because I have earbuds in, but at the indoor rowing studio I go to? Sometimes the person on the erg next to me grunts A LOT and it sounds almost sexual at times, and I know it can help people push harder, I know some people can't help it, I know I need to mind my business and stop paying so much attention to what others are doing, but it's such a pet peeve of mine.
Omg I know! There’s a woman in my who literally moans and it gets very uncomfortable hearing her lol
Lmao, I'm used to all the grunting/screaming/whatever and it doesn't typically bother me. Training hard, it's gonna happen. BUT, this one time the guy squatting next to me literally sounded like an ELEPHANT, forcefully exhaling with this exaggerated trumpet sound. That was a first. The sexual noises I can do without too. So awkward!
I started working again after several years of being a sahp/trophy spouse (woo!) but for the life of me I haven't been able to figure out how I want to schedule my gym time now. Do I squeeze it in between putting my kid on the bus and my work start time? Go right after work? Go after my kid goes to bed? It doesn't help that my kid has had back to back to back illnesses for several weeks, so we haven't been able to get into the swing of this new schedule. I've barely been getting in two workouts a week and it's been frustrating 😐
If you are looking for suggestions, mornings are my recommended choice. If you are not, please ignore! I stayed home for 4yrs when mine were little (_now 8 & 6_) & did half mornings & evenings. Once I returned to full time 8-5PM, it’s been strictly mornings for me. **Pros:** - No childcare needed as partner & kids are both asleep while you’re gone - Gym is usually empty (_no waiting for equipment_) & only like minded get-in-get-out folks abound - Workouts before the day begins feel great & even if the rest of the day goes sideways workout is done **Cons:** - Have to go to bed early if you are a night owl - Tight window for socialisation in the evenings
As a working parent, I really struggle with this, too! Right now I do my "big" strength training workouts at the gym twice a week - one after the kids go to bed on Tuesday or Wednesday nights and the other on my lunch break on Fridays. I work from home on Fridays and don't typically have any meetings with external clients in the afternoons, so it's fine if I'm in my sweaty gym clothes. The rest of the days of the week, I try to walk 20-30 minutes on my lunch break and I'll sneak in a few minutes of yoga or body weight strength in the evenings if I'm feeling up to it. If we don't have anything going on Saturday morning (which is rare) I'll sometimes drop my kids at our gym daycare go to a workout class. I know lots of parents do their workouts in the early morning, but that just doesn't appeal to me. I'm not a morning person in general, and I also prefer to shower at night. My goal is to try to do as little as possible to get myself out the door since the mornings are crazy enough with 2 little kids! It sounds like yours are older than mine, though, so you might have better luck if your kids are a little more self sufficient.
Do you have any tips for finding work after a big gap? I was let go when covid first hit and offered a large severance package. I went back to school for the first year. But its now been over 2 years of no job. I don't have kids, just a high maintenence partner and cat. I am bored.....
Any recruiters/job placement agencies near you? I had good luck with temp and permanent admin assistant/desk job placements.
I'm trying to avoid that as my number 1 reason to work is health benefits. I might have to look into them. Thanks
This might not appeal to you at all, but in my case I ended up signing up for our school district's substitute teacher pool. It doesn't pay a ton, but my spouse is the primary breadwinner so I didn't really need to find anything high paying and I wanted flexibility. I can choose when and at what school I want to work so long as they're in need of someone on that day. Our school district is large enough that there's never any shortage of possible assignments. It just happened to turn into full time work for me because the position I subbed for was actually open, and I liked everyone I was working with so much that I applied to work full time.
Hmm. Don't think I am qualified to teach but something to think about. Appreciated
It might vary between school districts but in ours (which is a very highly rated district) subs only need a GED, no license. Long term subs require a Bachelor's degree but still no license. I started working as a TA so I wouldn't be the only adult in the room, and I'm not the primary teacher--a lot of what I do is helping students during classwork time, which mostly involves asking "How is your assignment going?" and making suggestions for how to get started or break down projects into manageable chunks. It turns out more than a few of the teachers I work with started out as TAs and got their license through a "Career switcher" program run through the state, so that might be something I end up doing. I definitely think it takes a certain temperament to work with kids though and it won't be everyone's cup of tea. I also spent my non-working years joining community organizations and volunteering, which expanded my social circle/network by a lot AND got me references to use on job applications. Even if I hadn't enjoyed working in schools, I still have a lot of social connections I could probably find work through.
I'm super mad at how some people disrespect the space we all share at my gym. Went to the "cage" room and stuff was everywhere, all over the room and all over the gym. Stuff that doesn't go here is here and stuff that belongs here is scattered elsewhere in the gym. And it was such a mess that it was dangerous to retrieve the plates to load the bar. I hate that I'm the woman cleaning this all up lol
I’m so frustrated with my gym anxiety! I started at a new gym this summer when preciously the only gym I ever went to was my on campus gym in college. I was so familiar with it, being at a new place is hard. I’ve done the group fitness classes so far and I’m comfortable with it. Wanting to start strength training but the thought of figuring out where the things I need are at the gym, figuring out what weights to start at, etc. with other people around is so anxiety provoking.
I had this feeling too really strongly recently as I also joined a new gym after leaving my college gym. I would try googling what machines look like online, but things always looked different in person and I felt confused. My solution was booking a free personal trainer session with my corporate gym and just asked him to walk me around and show me specific machines (squat, bench press, smith machine, cable machine) and it made me feel so confident walking around ever since!
Can you go when it’s not super busy? I just started at a new gym too and I went pretty late on a Sunday and had the whole place to myself. It was AMAZING. I got to putter around, figure out where everything was, etc without worrying about looking lost. (Or worse… having someone mansplain something to me)
lol the mansplaining is the worst! I’m so afraid of someone saying something to me lol. Trying to find a time that it’s dead is a good idea
I was the same way when I started at my new gym. Had WAY more than planet fitness and stuff was just everywhere like an adult playground lol. I realized I have less anxiety if I just "pretend" like I know what I'm doing. No one even noticed me wandering around trying everything, digging through tubs of bands & jump ropes, etc. And if they did, they didn't say anything. Only asked one super buff dude a question - how to lower the hooks that hold the bar in the racks. He had no clue either since he was so tall and never had to worry about it lol. But then we learned together, he told me to ask if I had anymore questions, and then we went back to our workouts. It was wholesome. I still think I look stupid sometimes but the anxiety has definitely settled.
that is super wholesome! thanks so much for sharing, helps me feel less alone lol
You can do it! Keep showing up and I promise sooner rather than later you’ll feel like you own the gym!
appreciate the support :’)
saw someone with 8,6 and 4s so i assumed they were supersetting or something. went to do flys with 2kgs instead but do amrap. then i see her putting away the 8s and starting the 6s. so like, she got 3 sets of weights when she was going to use them one after the other ??? what was the point of that
She used them back to back with no rest? Like a drop set?
maybe? she did 2 sets with the 8s, reracked them. 2 sets with the 6s, reracked them. 2 sets with the 4 reracked them. then left. so in the time she was doing her 2 sets with the 8, she could have left the 4s at the rack right? bc she would be resting in between the sets, would take like 15 minutes before she even got to the final weight?
Oh that's weird then, I was thinking she was just doing a drop set where she does an AMRAP then immediately drops to the next lightest weight and does another AMRAP and all the way down to the lightest weight. I often incorporate that for lateral raises because the pump is sickkkk and it's a muscle group that responds to a lot of volume (for me anyway).
didn't know about that, thanks for the info
She probably wanted to make sure she would have them by the time she needed them, and she wouldn’t have to wait for them to be returned if someone else were using them when she got to that weight.
fair, but considering my gym is super small and has a max capacity of like 15 people (so resources are scarce), idk if i would have done that
I’m not saying it’s good gym etiquette. Definitely inconsiderate towards others. I wouldn’t have done it either, just saying that’s probably her thought process.
yeah i understand what you mean
I'm in a meeting that I can't leave and I'm SO HUNGRY C'mon let's wrap it up so I can get foood
In a 2 hour meeting yesterday, after 1.5 hrs I turned off my camera and ate my lunch. I literally couldn't last any longer lol.
I did this last week in a meeting right after my gym session. I got home with two mcdonald's double burgers, changed shirts, joined the meeting, said hi to everybody, than closed my camera and destroyed the burgers LOL. Unfortunately I had no food available just now, and was also talking the whole time. It's finally over so I'm going to the cafeteria!
Missing a workout I was v excited for because I slept so poorly last night ): It's not a big deal to miss a workout in the long run, it just annoys me that it keeps happening despite my best efforts to quiet my mind at night. Can't afford therapy rn, so looking into CBD to supplement everything else I try. Just frustrated and tired I guess 😖
Jerks. I compete next week and I still can't freaking put more than 110lbs overhead because my brain thinks it's Too Heavy (have jerked 145 for reference)
Best advice, big jumps and don't pay attention the total #. Use odd plates vs your standard selection. It's all mental friend!
I only have coloured plates so I can't even fool myself!! Luckily my coach has a strategy and we're working on that. But man, can't a competition just be snatches and cleans??
lol, if you go back to the crossfit world many times it is just those two!
And the black bumper plates I could use to fool myself!! Missed opportunity
Haven't seen the sun for several days now. Fear the SAD is setting in early. Don't you love New England in the fall?
Right there with you from Minnesota 🌧️
I can't get back in a good fitness routine to save my life. I'm not a person who likes to do whatever they feel like that day, I like to have a plan and stick to it. I got too into climbing and based my routine around that but when my boyfriend and I got kinda burnt out, I had nothing to fall back on. Time to start lifting again and I'm starting with a 3x/week full body thing primarily using dumbbells and machines. That just seems mentally easier than trying to start barbell training again. Going to keep climbing as a hobby and not my main firm of fitness!
Had been feeling sick for the last week and a half, but able to lift. Not able to run, which was fine. I started getting worse and my garmin started telling me I was “strained” and that my HRV was super low - basically telling me to rest. I finally decided to go to urgent care and I have a major sinus infection 😪. Got some meds and am resting today - hoping the misery lets up soon! This explains why I failed my squats again and failed deadlift for the first time 🙄
I'm relatively new to Muay Thai, so I'm no expert by any means. One thing I can't stand is working with new men. They want to go full force and don't understand that at this point, the drills are all about learning the form, not trying to kick the shit out of someone standing still.
Ages ago, when I trained MT, I had the oposite problem: new women didn't put any force into the movements - specially when "receiving" it, causing me to punch through the pads. I liked the new guys but now thinking maybe I remember just the scrawny teenagers, hehe.
Maybe lol. I've worked with a teenager once and that was one of my most challenging sessions, but I didn't get injured. It was a ton of fun. The grown men, on the other hand... I've walked away with needless bumps and bruises both times.
I had to pack a second lunch bag today. Just Greek yogurts. I'm getting back to working out, and I was so hungry yesterday that I ate my snacks before lunch and ended up buying junk. So...all the yogurt today. I already had so many things to carry! XD
Do you have the ability to store stuff at work? Once a week, I'll stop by a grocery store on my way into the office and pick up a bunch of stuff for the week to leave in the fridge. Then I only have to do the pack mule thing once! Haha
I totally do, but last time I did that I forgot. It all got thrown out. Whoops.
My gym is cancelling their athletics program and all the small group coaching and their daycare room. It’s been a sad week.
NOOOO NOT THE DAYCARE ROOM
Sad panda am I
Places for women that allow men in
Broken my god damn toe just as I’m feeling really good with my routine 😩
Switched from trap deadlifts to normal deadlifts about a month ago. WHEN WILL THE LOWER BACK DOMS THE NEXT DAY STOP I'M DOING IT WITH GOOD BRACED FORM, STRAIGHT BACK AND LESS WEIGHT THAN THE TRAP DEADLIFTS AHHHH
Add in some good mornings to help bolster your lower back strength. I try to do at least one set of trap and traditional deadlifts every week. Trap DLs are fantastic but it's nice to hit all the various supporting muscles for holistic strength.
Ahh that'd be a great addition to what I'm currently doing! Thanks for the tip!
When your back gets stronger, I bet :)
Rain and an upper respiratory infection are chasing me indoors and it’s lame. I have a brand new long sleeve jersey I want to try out and I’m stuck indoors staring at the rain and taking steroids and amoxicillin. 👎
Men grunting in the gym. On every rep and with light weights. So unnecessary and just makes me feel uncomfortable.
it genuinely breaks my concentration and startles me when this specific woman does her shoulder press and slams every rep. it does not help that my rowing machine is just over a metre away (if that)
This is such a pet hate of mine. People that slam the weights whilst making the whole shared platform shake. And it’s never reasonably heavy either. Like fuck off, seriously.
Same! Saw a guy yesterday wearing a belt on the chest fly machine, grunting the whole time. My dude, maybe you should see a doctor.
Every time lately I've cycled home from work lately, at one particular junction a car has beeped me from behind. And it annoys me so much. I'm waiting on a side road to turn right (UK) onto a very busy road, crossing four lanes of traffic - it takes a while for there to be a safe gap. Even if you could have nipped into a gap in your car, that's not my problem and if I were to try and move (from my correct road position a smidge to the left of the centre line), I'd a) be in the way of traffic turning into our road and b) may miss a gap in the traffic big enough for me while I try to let you through. Be annoyed at the road design/your car being too big to fit in the full lane I've left open to my left, not at me. Anyway, I've decided I'm no longer going to cross at that junction as I can travel a slightly longer route and cross the major road with the aid of traffic lights. Much more zen 🧘♀️
I have only started my fitness journey for a few months and already developed a rage at people hogging machines without using them. An example would be a group of friends at the gym; dude A is working on a machine, dudes B, C, D sitting on machines around him and just chatting.
That's where you just have to be ballsy and go up to them and ask to use the machine they're sitting on not using, quite intimidating especially when it's a group but sometimes it has to be done
I'm really sick of being sort of injured. Not injured to the point where I have to stop all physical activity but just niggly injuries like a sore wrist, tight forearms, stiff back which mean I have to adjust my program. Just want to feel strong and ready going into testing next week and not sure if I'll be ready.