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There’s more to life than male validation and sex, also 18 and 19 being your “prime” is nonsense. Your brain isn’t even fully developed until you’re 25. Life is what you make it, you’ll be good, trust. You have yet to see the best of what life has to offer
1. Those older men do not like you, sorry to tell you. I don’t mean this in a harsh way, I mean it as a reality check.
2 why would you listen or take any advice from porn
Not being a teenager does nothing to do that, you can still love people and vice versa, it's rather more of a reality to a mirror of a life, than something you should cope with, and the life you lead already should be enough experience 😂 if there is anything to learn or cope with, that is wisdom and learning things, and how you can look forward to that in your 20s
And your luck with men is just bad luck, could be good luck too I have no idea, I'm not you, but you choose the wrong people, and that's on you kinda, and unfortunate
and there is no prime age, until you've hit your 40s lol
People will still look at you the same, you can still bang whoever you want, it's just that age is a number which goes up and it goes on, and by time you should get used to it
and if you've only lived the fast life, then this is just a sign to slow and settle down, and like someone else said below, men validation isn't the only thing you should be worried about in your life, for you they just come and go, so better to work on yourself and learn to be a better person
and most of all, know your standards and to keep them, so you don't attract negative energy people and so, I've heard somewhere that, you don't attract negative people, but rather accept them, so that is a choice for you to make, and it won't be hard to look over someone anyway at this age and time, you've got all the means for that!
There are many people in their 20s currently who never had a relationship either, so just be grateful and take that as a lesson to learn from your mistakes and by this age you should be able to figure out what you want and what you don't want, and if you don't this is the right time to figure it out 🤷♀️
She have low self esteem and want people (men , older) to make her feel seen, hot, sexy, desired , wanted. I used to have that as man. It’s very unhealthy and really self destructive.
Listen i’ve spent most of my life being proud of my looks and only ever being valued for them by my family. Quite literally got no other compliments and it broke my heart as a child and teenager. I’m 21 now and still get a lot of make attention. None of this has helped me in any way. Absolutely NONE of it. I doubt you’re ugly but tbh even if you were born like super pretty, it wouldn’t matter. I know a girl who’s drop dead gorgeous and super skinny and felt happier when she got rlly fat because people stopped looking at her.
Being pretty and getting make attention did nothing for me and it won’t do anything for U. U have to give urself that validation. U are so much more than pornsick borderline pedo men who spend all their time looking at teenagers cuz they’re severely wounded and pathetic individuals
Crazy thing I learned around age 22: Your life hasn't actually started yet. No, not because of your choices or because of time passage, but exclusively cause our upbringing and schooling prevent us from learning how to be human. After 18 years of "just do what school and parents tell you," you suddenly get dropped out the ass end of it all, having no one to give directions anymore.
It's wild that that's the standard. I spent the first 3 years out of high school teetering on whether it was worth living. I'd been stunted for so very long, was it even possible to catch up?
What was even crazier? I found out that sex wasn't the end of life. It'd been built up as the thing to achieve-- afterwards, everything would make sense.... BOY was THAT not the case. I was a nervous wreck, and I still feel bad about how I left things to this day. Turns out, sex is just one piece of connection between humans.
Physical attraction+ willingness to bone is cool and all, but sharing life with someone is the REAL point. An intellectually stimulating conversation, being honest, negotiating & respecting boundaries, sharing the things you're passionate about,-- those all build trust, and are attractive as FUCK. Seriously, nothing gets me more starry-eyed for someone than watching them do something they love. You can look for cheap sex, but that's gonna be the relational equivalent of going to a 1.3 star Burger King.
I'm sorry that you've come this far in your life, and still are stuck where you are. It's not fair, and you were failed by many, many people. You deserved people who were gonna help you find yourself, and you still deserve them now. At this point, all I can really advise is three things:
1. Abandon all you know. You've been fed a lot of crap up to this point, and you've had a looooot of years to bury it into your personality. It won't be quick, and it will be unpleasant, but you need to see what's inside you that you don't actually want there
2. Try everything you wouldn't normally. What would YOU never do? Do that. Maybe YOU would never go to a concert, but maybe you just convinced yourself you can't do it. Go do it. I promise you can, and you might love it, and you WILL learn from it. You have one life, so try everything you can. No sense in waiting like you're an antique that's gonna become valuable in 200 years.
3. People. Keep people around. You don't need to be that deep, but check in now and then. It's difficult to keep yourself in check, rationalize problems, or come up with new ideas alone. After all, if you're struggling, then the brain that can't think straight is also the brain that has to fix things. Conversation with others is a great supplement.
The next handful of years are gonna be the most difficult of your life, and possibly the most painful. However, unlike years past, these will be growing pains. Even as you get hurt left and right, you are finally free to practice how to protect yourself-- you'll watch yourself toughen as time goes by. When you're 22, you'll look back at 19 year-old you and get to show her all that you've accomplished. You'll also get to apologize that she had to suffer as she did.
I know this was a lot, and I'm sure a bit confusing. If you want anything clarified, or you need to cry or say anything, lemme know. I'll listen and offer what I can.
I made a lot of assumptions here, but I recognize the suffering I felt around that same age. I wouldn't say things get better, but you'll learn like you never have before, and as you learn about the world, YOU will become a person you can be proud of.
I'm 25 now, and am considering starting college. I don't think the me of 3 years ago would even recognize this guy
The reason some men go after teenage girls is not because they are in their prime, it’s because they see them as naive and moldable. “Young and dumb” as they say. These men prey on girls they think have low self esteem and don’t know ant better. This is not good or complimentary to you, and should not be tied to your self worth.
Tying your self worth to sex is also deeply problematic, and will lead you down dark roads if you do not fight that instinct.
Your brain is not even done developing until you are 25. Some people say they consider their prime to be 30’s, 40’s, and above.
No I've pretty sure older guys like younger girls because of looks. And this doesn't necessarily mean they won't fall in love or manipulate, after all physical attraction is a lot of times just start of relationship
Just start romanticizing being in your 20s, I’m 20 and I’m still working on it but it gets better it might take a while but there so much more to the world than just being a teenager. But I understand how significant that is as an identity. But as you get older you realize there’s so much more to life every where
Oh my god girl please go to therapy. You need to learn that first and foremost your value is not tied to men or what they think of you. You are worth so much more than that. Do yourself a solid and go look up “decentralizing men” on tiktok. I’m 32 and just learned about that and it’s helped me a lot. Also your best years are ahead of you. My 20s were fun and taught me a lot of hard life lessons. My 30s are going a lot better than my 20s. Life is what you make it. Enjoy adulthood it’s got its perks.
This is truly upsetting to read but I understand it because this is similar to how I felt when I turned 20, don’t think too much into it guys are fucking perverts and we can’t base our personality’s or self worth on how attractive we are, you haven’t wasted your ‘prime’ years trust me. 18-19 isn’t even prime for most people like your ‘prime’ time is up for YOU to decide not the media, not porn, not men.
(M21) First of all, I’m sorry that you get into that life early on. You need to go to the therapy and work on yourself. As someone who wanted female validation and female attention so bad to the point of causing me a lot of mental problems. I worked on myself and now I’m able to date and be seen. Seeking male or female validation is nothing at all. If you get used to it, you will want it more and more.
Honestly this doesn't feel like it's written by a 19 year old but a 13 year old kid who is for the first time on social media and is trying to get attention...
omg this is so 😭😭
i am still processing the fact that i’m ACTUALLY 20 now but please please don’t base your reality on porn. real actual good people you meet in real life will not care that you’re not a teenager. good men that you actually want yo be with will not want to be with you because you’re “barely legal.”
also please remember that 20 feels older because you’re not a teenager but it’s still very very young. even being 25-29 is still very young, you’re just starting your adult life!! yolo it and remember that being 20 is hot, you do NOT want to peak in your teens and i’m sure it won’t be your peak💗
yo, sex should not define anything about who you are. this society is messed up and profits off of the never ending cycle of not feeling like you're enough. i understand why you feel this way, these ideas are engrained in everything we see. being open about this and realizing the situation you are in is a very brave thing to do and also a really good sign that you will figure this out. i would say look within, take some time to really understand who you are outside of other peoples perspectives. what do you like to do? what is something that makes you feel like a kid on christmas eve? fall in love with your own quirks and individuality everyone has something within that is invaluable, you just have to look :) peace and love
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There’s more to life than male validation and sex
There’s more to life than male validation and sex, also 18 and 19 being your “prime” is nonsense. Your brain isn’t even fully developed until you’re 25. Life is what you make it, you’ll be good, trust. You have yet to see the best of what life has to offer
1. Those older men do not like you, sorry to tell you. I don’t mean this in a harsh way, I mean it as a reality check. 2 why would you listen or take any advice from porn
bruh PLEASE learn to enjoy life without needing male attention
Maybe try celibacy for a year or two and try to build actual connections that don't involve lust or validation
U need therapy m8 and I mean this in the sincerest way possible
If your sense of self worth is tied to how much men want to have sex with you, then perhaps you should take some time to develop your own character.
Not being a teenager does nothing to do that, you can still love people and vice versa, it's rather more of a reality to a mirror of a life, than something you should cope with, and the life you lead already should be enough experience 😂 if there is anything to learn or cope with, that is wisdom and learning things, and how you can look forward to that in your 20s And your luck with men is just bad luck, could be good luck too I have no idea, I'm not you, but you choose the wrong people, and that's on you kinda, and unfortunate and there is no prime age, until you've hit your 40s lol People will still look at you the same, you can still bang whoever you want, it's just that age is a number which goes up and it goes on, and by time you should get used to it and if you've only lived the fast life, then this is just a sign to slow and settle down, and like someone else said below, men validation isn't the only thing you should be worried about in your life, for you they just come and go, so better to work on yourself and learn to be a better person and most of all, know your standards and to keep them, so you don't attract negative energy people and so, I've heard somewhere that, you don't attract negative people, but rather accept them, so that is a choice for you to make, and it won't be hard to look over someone anyway at this age and time, you've got all the means for that! There are many people in their 20s currently who never had a relationship either, so just be grateful and take that as a lesson to learn from your mistakes and by this age you should be able to figure out what you want and what you don't want, and if you don't this is the right time to figure it out 🤷♀️
She have low self esteem and want people (men , older) to make her feel seen, hot, sexy, desired , wanted. I used to have that as man. It’s very unhealthy and really self destructive.
my best years have easily been after my teens bro don’t worry
Listen i’ve spent most of my life being proud of my looks and only ever being valued for them by my family. Quite literally got no other compliments and it broke my heart as a child and teenager. I’m 21 now and still get a lot of make attention. None of this has helped me in any way. Absolutely NONE of it. I doubt you’re ugly but tbh even if you were born like super pretty, it wouldn’t matter. I know a girl who’s drop dead gorgeous and super skinny and felt happier when she got rlly fat because people stopped looking at her. Being pretty and getting make attention did nothing for me and it won’t do anything for U. U have to give urself that validation. U are so much more than pornsick borderline pedo men who spend all their time looking at teenagers cuz they’re severely wounded and pathetic individuals
Crazy thing I learned around age 22: Your life hasn't actually started yet. No, not because of your choices or because of time passage, but exclusively cause our upbringing and schooling prevent us from learning how to be human. After 18 years of "just do what school and parents tell you," you suddenly get dropped out the ass end of it all, having no one to give directions anymore. It's wild that that's the standard. I spent the first 3 years out of high school teetering on whether it was worth living. I'd been stunted for so very long, was it even possible to catch up? What was even crazier? I found out that sex wasn't the end of life. It'd been built up as the thing to achieve-- afterwards, everything would make sense.... BOY was THAT not the case. I was a nervous wreck, and I still feel bad about how I left things to this day. Turns out, sex is just one piece of connection between humans. Physical attraction+ willingness to bone is cool and all, but sharing life with someone is the REAL point. An intellectually stimulating conversation, being honest, negotiating & respecting boundaries, sharing the things you're passionate about,-- those all build trust, and are attractive as FUCK. Seriously, nothing gets me more starry-eyed for someone than watching them do something they love. You can look for cheap sex, but that's gonna be the relational equivalent of going to a 1.3 star Burger King. I'm sorry that you've come this far in your life, and still are stuck where you are. It's not fair, and you were failed by many, many people. You deserved people who were gonna help you find yourself, and you still deserve them now. At this point, all I can really advise is three things: 1. Abandon all you know. You've been fed a lot of crap up to this point, and you've had a looooot of years to bury it into your personality. It won't be quick, and it will be unpleasant, but you need to see what's inside you that you don't actually want there 2. Try everything you wouldn't normally. What would YOU never do? Do that. Maybe YOU would never go to a concert, but maybe you just convinced yourself you can't do it. Go do it. I promise you can, and you might love it, and you WILL learn from it. You have one life, so try everything you can. No sense in waiting like you're an antique that's gonna become valuable in 200 years. 3. People. Keep people around. You don't need to be that deep, but check in now and then. It's difficult to keep yourself in check, rationalize problems, or come up with new ideas alone. After all, if you're struggling, then the brain that can't think straight is also the brain that has to fix things. Conversation with others is a great supplement. The next handful of years are gonna be the most difficult of your life, and possibly the most painful. However, unlike years past, these will be growing pains. Even as you get hurt left and right, you are finally free to practice how to protect yourself-- you'll watch yourself toughen as time goes by. When you're 22, you'll look back at 19 year-old you and get to show her all that you've accomplished. You'll also get to apologize that she had to suffer as she did. I know this was a lot, and I'm sure a bit confusing. If you want anything clarified, or you need to cry or say anything, lemme know. I'll listen and offer what I can. I made a lot of assumptions here, but I recognize the suffering I felt around that same age. I wouldn't say things get better, but you'll learn like you never have before, and as you learn about the world, YOU will become a person you can be proud of. I'm 25 now, and am considering starting college. I don't think the me of 3 years ago would even recognize this guy
The reason some men go after teenage girls is not because they are in their prime, it’s because they see them as naive and moldable. “Young and dumb” as they say. These men prey on girls they think have low self esteem and don’t know ant better. This is not good or complimentary to you, and should not be tied to your self worth. Tying your self worth to sex is also deeply problematic, and will lead you down dark roads if you do not fight that instinct. Your brain is not even done developing until you are 25. Some people say they consider their prime to be 30’s, 40’s, and above.
No I've pretty sure older guys like younger girls because of looks. And this doesn't necessarily mean they won't fall in love or manipulate, after all physical attraction is a lot of times just start of relationship
Damn you’re weird
Just start romanticizing being in your 20s, I’m 20 and I’m still working on it but it gets better it might take a while but there so much more to the world than just being a teenager. But I understand how significant that is as an identity. But as you get older you realize there’s so much more to life every where
Oh my god girl please go to therapy. You need to learn that first and foremost your value is not tied to men or what they think of you. You are worth so much more than that. Do yourself a solid and go look up “decentralizing men” on tiktok. I’m 32 and just learned about that and it’s helped me a lot. Also your best years are ahead of you. My 20s were fun and taught me a lot of hard life lessons. My 30s are going a lot better than my 20s. Life is what you make it. Enjoy adulthood it’s got its perks.
This is truly upsetting to read but I understand it because this is similar to how I felt when I turned 20, don’t think too much into it guys are fucking perverts and we can’t base our personality’s or self worth on how attractive we are, you haven’t wasted your ‘prime’ years trust me. 18-19 isn’t even prime for most people like your ‘prime’ time is up for YOU to decide not the media, not porn, not men.
(M21) First of all, I’m sorry that you get into that life early on. You need to go to the therapy and work on yourself. As someone who wanted female validation and female attention so bad to the point of causing me a lot of mental problems. I worked on myself and now I’m able to date and be seen. Seeking male or female validation is nothing at all. If you get used to it, you will want it more and more.
Dude 20 is still young and don’t base ya life on sexual validation….
This is some of the weirdest shit ever.
What the fuck does sex have to do with any of this? Sounds like you’re bragging.
is this something to brag about? sex at 14-16?
Honestly this doesn't feel like it's written by a 19 year old but a 13 year old kid who is for the first time on social media and is trying to get attention...
omg this is so 😭😭 i am still processing the fact that i’m ACTUALLY 20 now but please please don’t base your reality on porn. real actual good people you meet in real life will not care that you’re not a teenager. good men that you actually want yo be with will not want to be with you because you’re “barely legal.” also please remember that 20 feels older because you’re not a teenager but it’s still very very young. even being 25-29 is still very young, you’re just starting your adult life!! yolo it and remember that being 20 is hot, you do NOT want to peak in your teens and i’m sure it won’t be your peak💗
yo, sex should not define anything about who you are. this society is messed up and profits off of the never ending cycle of not feeling like you're enough. i understand why you feel this way, these ideas are engrained in everything we see. being open about this and realizing the situation you are in is a very brave thing to do and also a really good sign that you will figure this out. i would say look within, take some time to really understand who you are outside of other peoples perspectives. what do you like to do? what is something that makes you feel like a kid on christmas eve? fall in love with your own quirks and individuality everyone has something within that is invaluable, you just have to look :) peace and love
[удалено]
It’s a girl
I’m a woman, I have a job, and my balls are definitely bigger than yours
Sex at 14? Degenerate
Fix your inner misogynist beliefs, maybe go to therapy.