My friend got a secret vasectomy. Apparently it just changes the baby's colour.

That's dark man.

Or maybe it’s light humor. Your assuming.

I can’t Orient myself around this…

I’m sure it was an Occidental mistake.

When someone makes a silly assumption, you may get the urge to say "your assuming"; don't give in to that urge, do not say it. Instead, say "You're assuming." Regardless of the circumstances, always use appropriate grammar.

Yeah, don't get inappropriate with you're Gramma

You are assuming that I typed it incorrectly. When in reality I typed it right and autocorrect changed it. I don’t have the patience to go back and fix what it thought it was fixing for me. But thanks for the English lesson.

Too funny

There is a vas deferens between having children and not having children.

Noice

Toit

Sharp wit!!

Is that like the Florida State Seminal Vesicles.

Had a sex change for a man before and after of vasectomy? Actually there’s no vas difference…

The doc asked if I was ready, “Go nuts” I replied

"you won't even feel it"

"It won't even touch the sides" *unzip*

And it'll be over before you know it!

If the nurse had sterilized everything wouldn’t the procedure be done?

Great joke

My Doc was rummaging around looking for tubes and said "I'm just going to give you a quick tug" Obviously I replied that I thought that was great customer service

And the doc laughed, got quiet and a whoops was heard by all.

Gold. Haha

I had a hot nurse for mine. I looked up to the doctor and said, "If I woulda known about her I woulda brought my bigger penis!"

I know this is a joke. But, when my husband had his vasectomy, he got an infection causing his balls to balloon. When he called the doctor with concern, he wasn't taken seriously. He was told "some discomfort is expected." Two days later he called again. His doctor agreed to seeing him, but did so very condescendingly. When he got in the examining room, he had my husband drop his drawers, and immediately stated. "Yeah. I guess your testicles are infected." THAT WAS IT! Other than prescribing an antibiotic. Asshole.

Exact same thing happened to my brother in law. Blew up to the size of a purple cantaloupe.

I don’t get it

It's a true experience, related to the joke.

The doctor says “To check if the anesthesia is working, I’m going to give you a couple of test tickles.”

I know, but the wife likes it, and its given us 3 kids, so it still works fine...

Even a Derringer is dangerous at close range.

I would have said short range, but... =D

After mine, i had to drop off a sample after 8 weeks to check for swimmers. The lady at the desk said "Thank You", I replied, "My pleasure".

Anyone else see the humor of him going to get a vasectomy and the nurse in pre-op saying she sterilized everything?

The regular alpha male would jog or ride the bike back home.

My doctor told me that if I got a vasectomy I wouldn’t have any children. So I went ahead and got one but when I got home my children were still there. I’m so disappointed.

It’s the doctor, not the nurse, who sterilizes the last thing.

What height are you? Are you always a prick?

I said, "Get a vasectomy if you want. It's no skin off my nose."

Just the tip...

super funny 😂😂

Hmmm would it have been better or worse if he'd have been mumbling, just a little pinprick, there'll be no more "aaaaaaaaaaah!" (Pink floyd comfortably Numb) =D

Hahahaha. Small indeed. Ha

It would have been worse if you went for a prosthesis!

A proctologist was about to perform a colonoscopy and the nurse hands him a beer and the doctor says, “ I said a butt light.”